Tage sat down beside her. “Listen, you can command the elements, but if you don’t know what to do with them once they are under your control, they will succumb to your emotions.”
“Why didn’t you balance me?” She was ticked off with Tage. “Isn’t that your job?”
Tage’s attention shifted to Daspar. “Maybe we should try something a little less combustible,” she said.
Halen glanced toward the tree where, she had split the red bark off with a stomp of her foot.
“You don’t have to do this,” her mom said. “We can go back.”
“Yeah, right. How do I go back to just being me? You can’t put an egg back after you’ve cracked the shell. There’s no going back. Daspar even said it.”
“Forget what he said. I taught you once to control it.” Her mom sat on a log across from her. “You just have to try. Remember the birds?”
“Yeah, I remember. You told me every time I got angry a bird would lose its feathers and if I wasn’t careful they would lose so many they would freeze and die. Well, think of how many froze to death when I burned the house down. And then how many more died when I summoned the storm?”
Her mom’s eyes widened. “You knew?”
“I suppose I’ve always known. There wasn’t a freak storm. The faulty wiring was not with the house, it was with me.”
“No, you’re perfect,” her mom said. “When you were a little girl, you would make our garden bloom with snapdragons and pansies just for the butterflies. You didn’t always set things on fire and blow them up. You only did that when you were upset. With you, fire and agitation went hand in hand. I knew how much you loved birds and nature, so I made up the story about the birds and it worked. Because you believed you would harm them, you were able to harness the flames inside you. You can do it again; you just have to focus on something you care about.”
“That was a lie for a little girl. If you haven’t noticed I’m all grown up now, Mom. Is there anything you haven’t lied about?” The sparks flicked and she felt a mean kind of satisfaction. “The birds, really? My dad? Natalie? What else, Mom? What else are you hiding?”
“Tell her everything,” Daspar said. “She has to release the doubt and fear or Asair will use it against her.”
Her mom traced the dirt with the tip of her boot and then met her gaze. “You can be angry with me, but I did what was necessary to protect the realms, to protect you.”
“Why? Because you loved me or because the Tari needed a spare in case the hunters got to Natalie?” The words rushed out. She knew they would sting, but she didn’t care.
“Halen, that’s not fair,” Daspar said.
“No, I want her to know.” Her mom leaned over and put her hands on Halen’s knees. “I loved your dad very much. When we were young, there was talk of creating a siren to release Asair—a blue moon siren with a guardian. This was not a new idea. Others had tried and failed. Hunters killing the siren children before they could…” She stopped. Halen thought of the graveyard beside the church. Had they been blue moon sirens? Had they tried and failed? Her mom continued. “The likelihood of actually conceiving and then having a child on the second moon all takes careful planning.”
“Planning?” The word dropped from Halen’s lips. “Are you saying my birth was planned? You created me to… you conceived a weapon against Asair.” She whispered the last words. Shrinking back from her mom’s grasp, she folded her head in her hands. She didn’t want to hear anymore. Why had she pried?
“We did. It seemed like the only way. I didn’t then know what it meant to have a child—to love a child. But Halen, because of you I do know. I would give my life to trade places with you. If I could go back, I would do it all over the same way, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have you. You are my everything. So, yes, you can harness the magick to defeat Asair, but I’m not asking you to. We can walk away from here. I can help you tame the darkness. Besides, with a guardian in place, you’ll be okay.”
“Natalie isn’t okay. She’s dead.”
“She is.” Her mom released a heavy breath.
“Why did you choose her over me?”
Her mom looked to Daspar and he nodded for her to continue. “Your father and I chose her at birth because her soul was darker than yours.”
Halen’s eyebrows rose. “How could you know that?”
Her mother looked at her steadily, her dark eyes strong and warm. “That’s my purpose in this lifetime. I help souls release their past lives, so their journey is less difficult in this lifetime. Some however, will not let go. They bring their burdens from the past into this lifetime or they simply want to go back to their old lives. They are not ready to move on. I’m like a therapist for the soul. If I’m lucky I can get the soul prepared for their new life before they are even born.”
“You know that sounds insane,” Halen said.
“She’s an earth priestess.” Ezra said. “Not many of them around.”
“I knew the Tari would be able to train Natalie better than you. She carried a darkness with her from a past life that she was unwilling to let go of. And dark magick is needed to open the portal. Natalie visits that place in her soul with ease. She always has. You on the other hand…”
“Are full of rainbows,” Tage nudged Halen’s side.
Halen knew Tage was just trying to lighten the situation, but no amount joking would ease her anger. As she spun the silver bracelet around her wrist, she searched for Tage’s, but hers was hidden beneath her sleeve. “So was Tage part of your plan?” she asked.
Her mom spoke, “When we planned your birth, we arranged with another couple to conceive a guardian. However, I didn’t expect twins.”
“So I haven’t been guarded this entire time?” She held up her wrist. “This was Natalie’s. Were you thinking you could keep me tame with a little bird story? What if that didn’t work, Mom? Would the Tari have killed me?”
Daspar placed his hand on Halen’s shoulder. “You still have two years before your powers mature. I would never let anyone harm you.”
Halen stood and faced him. “But what if I had harmed you.”
Her mom wrapped her arm around her. “We’re going to leave and forget all of this. We should have never involved you. I’m good at hiding you from the hunters. We will do what we have always done.”
Halen shrugged her off. “I’m not going anywhere.” She wasn’t going to spend her life hiding, watching around every corner for an assassin. “I might not be as strong as Natalie, but I’m not a quitter.” She smiled at Tage. “Looks like we have some work to do.”
Twenty-five
The lake flattened against the horizon. Halen couldn’t tell where the water ended and the sky began—the two were one. It was hard to imagine a whirling vortex springing from the center of the lake. She wondered if she jumped in, would she be able to find a seam that would lead her back to Elosia, or if that world was sealed off from her forever. She would like to apologize to Dax for kissing him. She would like to tell Catch and Pepper she was sorry for stealing the elixir. They had been nice to her without even knowing her. Maybe it was because of Natalie; maybe Catch and Pepper thought twins were inherently the same. They made Natalie sound brave, rescuing Catch from the fisherman’s nets. That’s why they believed Natalie was alive, because she wouldn’t give up on them. Flipping open her sketchbook, she saw Dax’s eyes flashing back at her. “What have I got myself in to?” She longed to hear him answer her back. She traced the rim of his lips with her finger and her breath caught. “It was simpler when you were just a sketch.”
“You miss him.” Tage’s voice was at her back.
Halen spun around. “I don’t miss anyone.” She slapped the sketchbook shut.
Tage crouched beside her. “Sorry, but I can read your feelings. I know you miss him.”
“Is that a guardian thing—you can feel what I’m feeling?”
“I’m an Empath. I can feel one’s emotions as if they were my own. Especially the on
es expressed in paintings or drawings. A gift from my mom.”
Halen thought of the silver records chamber filled with books and scrolls. “Could your mom read pictures?”
“She could feel the emotions of the painter, whatever they were going through while they painted the memory. That was her position in Elosia.”
“I’ve seen where she worked.”
Tage stared out to the lake. “She told me she would sit in this grand chair, made entirely of translucent quartz, and interpret the emotions from the scrolls. The tribe’s entire history is felt in those scrolls. I imagine her there, like an angel, reading from her throne.”
“I saw the chair. It is just like a throne—it’s beautiful.” Halen didn’t mention destroying the room, or the salt water waves she hurled. Instead she told Tage about the scroll with the two sirens, joined, floating over the water. She told her about the spheres and the lapis river, the underground rock spires reaching up to the rainbow-dusted ceiling, and the copper room and pink water bath. She recalled every bit of Elosia, except for the boy with the crooked smile.
Tage smiled. “It’s just how my mom described it. I miss her. I can talk to her sometimes. She’s out there somewhere.”
“In heaven?”
“I don’t know. When I hear her voice she’s surrounded by white as if she were lost in a cloud. I always imagined heaven would be busier, with souls rushing about. Like here.”
“Well, look at us. Other than the crew of crazies, there aren’t any people around. Even though there’s a whole city beyond the trees. So maybe heaven is more like this—or whatever you want it to be.” Halen smiled. “Maybe your mom just finds a quiet place in heaven to talk to you.”
Tage smiled. “You’re not so bad, you know.” She nudged her side.
“Neither are you.” Halen nudged her back. It felt good to be on Tage’s good side. Until now, she hadn’t even realized she had one. When Daspar first introduced Tage as part of the family, Halen had been hesitant. Oh, she tried to find something to like about Tage. She knew Tage had lost both her parents, but she also heard through closed doors that she had ended up in a hospital for doing drugs, so she didn’t know what to expect from her.
She wondered now how Tage got along with Natalie. Did they share secrets? “You were Natalie’s guardian right? What was she like?”
Tage got the same faraway look Halen had seen in Dax’s eyes when he spoke of Natalie.
“Can we talk about her later?”
“Sure,” Halen said, though she had a million questions.
“So, do you want to tell me about this guy you have feelings for?” Tage asked.
“What? I don’t have feelings for any guy.” She tucked the sketchbook under the log.
“Empath-remember? You can’t hide.”
Halen blushed. “I met him in Elosia.”
“I know.” Tage dug her boot in the sand. “I have to tell you something.”
“Oh?”
“I used your sketchbook to find you.”
“What—how could you?” Why was she even asking? This was typical, sneaky Tage. She should have known better. Her face flushed as she wedged the book farther under the log with the heel of her boot. “So you’ve seen all the drawings—of him—of Dax?”
“Yeah, I’m really sorry.” Tage wrung her hands together. “I know it’s private and all, but I had to find you. Really—there was no other way.”
Apology or not, Halen was fuming and embarrassed. Tage probably thought she was some obsessive stalker freak. Yet in a way, it was good thing she had found the sketchbook. Otherwise Halen might still be with the mermaids.
“Thanks,” Halen finally said.
Tage’s face washed with surprise. “You’re not ticked off with me?”
“Please don’t tell anyone about him—about all the sketches.”
Tage smiled. “So you do like him?”
Halen didn’t know how she felt about Dax. It was silly to miss someone you barely knew. But she did, and when she glanced through her sketchbook, she yearned for more than just a drawing of him. She wanted to feel the pulsing charge of his lips on hers once more and grow dizzy with touch of his hands on her waist, as he pulled her hips against his. In his arms she had wings and she could have flow straight up to the Elosian sky, but in that moment she didn’t wish to escape, had he not ran away, she might have stayed in his arms forever. She shook these ridiculous thoughts away. She couldn’t believe she had been so stupid. How could something so idiotic feel so right?
“Why don’t we work on some spells,” Halen said, not wanting to explain the unexplainable to Tage. “No one’s around, so maybe it will work out better.”
“Way to avoid the subject, but sure, we should get started.” Tage glanced across the lake, and then at the forest behind them. “I have an idea; why don’t you just show me what you can do—within reason.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You saw how well that went.” Halen wasn’t ready to burn down the forest. She didn’t want to alert Lina and her brother either. They were watching her closely. “Lina freaked when I couldn’t put out the fire. She’s sort of creepy.”
“Lina is a show-off. Etlins think they are the only ones capable of casting a proper spell. I could have put out that fire. Don’t worry. Besides, I’ll be able to feel when you are getting frustrated or angry. And…” She dug in her pocket and brought out a vial similar to one Halen had stolen from Pepper’s chain. “I brought you some elixir so you won’t feel sick.”
“What’s in that stuff anyway?”
“It’s made from the marrow of guardian’s bones. It needs to be extracted from a guardian.”
Halen felt like gagging. “What? You’re saying this came out of you?”
“The elixir is blended with coral to stabilize the formula, so it can be absorbed in your blood stream. Otherwise the marrow would just wash right through you. The procedure is not painful, but it takes time and skill.”
“There’s a guy in Elosia who makes the elixir. His name is Catch. Have you heard of him?”
“I don’t think this Catch guy is just whipping up batches of it. It has to be from your guardian.”
“So you think there is another guardian?” Halen asked.
“Whoa, I didn’t say that. Maybe Daspar took the extracted marrow to Huron, and he provided Catch with it.”
“You do this for me?” Halen asked.
“You would die without it. Unless you never use magick again. And we both know that’s a pretty hard thing not to do.”
“I can’t believe you would give up so much for me.” Halen said. “Your life can never be your own if you’re stuck with me.”
“Let’s get one thing straight. My life is my own. I could walk out of here, but then the hunters would still be cursed and sirens would still die. Until the fires in Etlis burn through to Earth then that’s when my life won’t be my own. So right now I have a choice and I choose to fight.”
“I wish I could see it like you. You are like Natalie—fearless.”
“Wait a minute, where did you hear that? Fearless would not be the word I would use to describe Natalie. Psycho, yes, but not fearless.” Tage leaned close to Halen’s ear and whispered, “I wouldn’t be surprised if was the Etlins who killed her.”
“What about the fires? Don’t they want them out?” Halen whispered.
“Let’s just say, Natalie was getting a little unhinged.”
“But you must have known,” Halen said. “You could balance her—right?”
A crow cawed overhead, and Tage chewed her fingernail. “Let’s cast some spells,” she finally said. Clearly the subject was closed.
Halen hated how everyone left her hanging. Whenever she got close to learning the truth, everyone pulled back, including Tage.
“Go for it.” Tage waved her hand. “The forest is yours, Mother Nature.”
“Don’t.” Halen shot her a warning glance.
“You have to admit, it does have a r
ing to it.” She laughed, helping Halen to her feet.
“Don’t even go there, or I’ll dump this entire lake on you and Ezra both.” Curling her fingers, Halen recreated the wave she had summoned in the tidal garden with Dax. The wave rose up and then as she clenched her fist, it crashed right on Tage’s feet, soaking them.
“Nice.” Tage jumped out of the way. “But can you do this?” Tage removed her mittens and scooped a handful of snow in one hand and lake water in the other. She slapped her palms together, and when she flicked her fingers outward, a spiral formed. Tage blew out and like a glass blower molding glass, a wall of ice spread in front of her. She spun and jutting her leg out, she kicked the ice. The shards shattered. She picked up a piece and handed it to Halen.
“That’s amazing. Who taught you this?”
“Daspar. He’s the king of spells.”
“Daspar?”
“I know, right? Don’t let his rock star good looks fool you, he can work a spell. I’ve learned a lot from him.”
“How come he never taught me?”
“I dunno. I guess because you don’t really need spells. I can teach them to you, but you can enchant the elements on your own. Any spell I cast, I need to have physical contact with the element. You can just think it or feel it, and voila—magick. Try something else.”
Halen’s attention was drawn to the little wren perched on the branch above her head. She thought of the birds from her childhood; the ones she thought might die when she had let her magick get out of control. Only then she didn’t know it was magick. She had thought something was wrong with her.
“Hey, no sad thoughts when we’re working spells.”
“How did you know I was sad? I didn’t draw anything.”
Tage shrugged. “You don’t have to. I can feel you. Besides, the crease between your eyes gave you away, first”
“Oh.” Halen raised her eyebrows so the crease disappeared.
“Let’s think of something else. I don’t know. Why don’t you think of that guy?”
Halen’s toes curled in her boots thinking about Dax’s… She clasped her hand to her mouth. Lips, hips, wings flashed through her mind. Damn it, why did Tage have to bring him up again.
Coral & Bone Page 17
