Maybe that’s just me projecting because of what I have to share with her.
I am not looking forward to this.
Leaning against the counter I watch her fill a pot with water and turn one of the electric burners on. “Simone, I have to talk to you about something.”
“Hey, Sarah,” a deep voice greets me from behind. I quickly turn my head, my eyes widening at seeing Justin trudging out of her bedroom, shirtless in his suit-slacks, barefoot, his hair a mess, too. “Have a good time last night?” he asks me, crossing to Simone and pressing his body against her backside.
Meeting my eyes with the smile of a cat who ate twelve canaries she tilts her head back for a kiss that makes me want to throw up.
“What the fuck?” I mutter.
As Justin opens the fridge and pulls out bottled water, Simone shrugs and fake-whispers, “Ooopsie.”
Now I’m worried. “What the hell is going on here?”
She holds up her hand, eyes sharpening. “Please, you don’t get to judge me, boyfriend stealer.”
My jaw drops and fear twists my heart. “What did you just call me?”
“I know you’re in love with Jason. I have eyes. Remember? I told you I see a lot more than you think I see. You’ve been lusting after him for months. Do you really believe I didn’t know that’s why he was able to get you so angry? Because you were interested in him the whole time!”
Feeling very trapped I blurt, “I didn’t know it! I wasn’t thinking of him that way until –”
“ –It doesn’t matter when! You were. And he was with me. And now he wants you, so that makes you a fucking backstabbing, boyfriend-stealing bitch!”
She may as well have just punched me with a hammer for how bad this hurts. “Simone.”
Getting in my face with her index finger jabbing the air, she snarls, “Don’t Simone me, Sarah.”
All of those times I’ve kept my mouth shut when I didn’t agree with what she was doing erupt in a volcano of unleashed resentment. Screaming, I tell her what I really feel. “You have no right to be mad at me! You told me – many times! – that Jason meant nothing to you! You have everything: talent, beauty, people supporting you, and you’re so spoiled that when one person – one person! Out of how many fans do you have on social media? – decides he doesn’t want to be treated like a temporary toy anymore you made it your goal to get him back, only with the intention of throwing him away again! Just to show him what he was missing??!!! Are you fucking kidding me right now? Who does that? How much adoration do you need, Simone? How big is your fucking ego? I mean, really?!!” Her jaw tightens and tears jump to her eyes, but I’m not done yet. “I haven’t ever wanted anyone before. I’ve kept myself a fucking nun so I wouldn’t get hurt again. I’ve only had sex with that one guy, and you know what he said to me after we were done? That he’d blown it because now you would never have sex with him!” Off her shock, I nod. “Yeah, he dated me to get to you. And fucked me because he was drunk. Do you know how that made me feel? I didn’t tell you that because I didn’t need you feeling sorry for me. But I am tired of standing back so you can have it all. If you wanted Jason – really wanted him in your heart – I wouldn’t even have thought about him in that way. He would have been like an androgynous doll to me. Completely off limits. But you didn’t want him! And you told me! And I saw it! And I saw him, and what a good guy he was, and yes, my feelings grew. But they never would have if you were in love with him. Which, from your sleeping with his fucking brother the first chance you get – just to prove you’re wanted – just made really clear you don’t care about Jason at all!”
Struggling for something to come back at me with Simone snaps, “Well, you slept with Jason last night so you obviously don’t love me!”
Choked up and in so much pain for fighting with the woman who is in all forms but blood my sister, I step back and hold my head in my hands before I explode, “I didn’t have sex with him! I wanted to! Boy, did I want to. But I had to talk to you, first. Because that’s how much I care about you, even more than him or myself.” Glancing to Justin, who’s leaning against a wall and watching us from a quiet place, I shake my head. “No, that’s not true. It’s for myself that I didn’t. Because I wouldn’t have been able to look in a mirror had I not told you first how I felt about him.”
Tears slide down Simone’s cheek, the water pot boiling and forgotten behind her.
“Sarah…”
“I’m staying in Atlanta for a little while.”
Shockwaves crash through her body and face. “He asked you to stay?”
Nodding, I whisper, because I still can’t believe it, “Yes. He did.” My eyes flit to Justin, but he betrays no emotion. He’s going to make a great politician.
Simone looks over and turns the burner off, her fingers shaking. “I’m surprised.”
“I bet,” I bite back.
She frowns, her face still in profile.
Heading for my purse and the car keys beside it, I mutter, “I need some air.”
Jason
The door to my loft opens. I call out from the bathroom, my mouth full of toothpaste, “In here!”
Justin appears behind me and leans on the doorframe, crossing his arms. “You haven’t brushed your teeth yet today? Oh…coffee breath.”
“Mmmhmm.” I spit and run the faucet water over my toothbrush, sizing him up through the mirror. “Is that the same thing you wore last night?”
“I fucked Simone.”
I freeze and blink at him, then flip off the tap and turn around. “What the fuck?”
His jaw moves around as he thinks a moment, bringing his eyes back to meet mine. “I wanted to help.”
Narrowing a glare on him I toss the toothbrush onto the counter and cross my arms over my t-shirt, mirroring him.
“You’re kidding me, Justin. I know you’re a dick but wow.”
His gaze drops to the floor as he says, “We’ve shared girls before.”
Scoffing I snap, “Not to manipulate them!”
He nods and looks at me, parroting in a quieter tone, “No, not to manipulate them.” Shoving his hands in his pockets he spreads his feet and exhales. “Look, I didn’t like her. I wanted her gone. And I thought it was the way to do it. But Sarah handled it better than I did.”
I know my brother’s morals aren’t always on the up and up. I said it before, he has a dark side. He’s also a man who won’t let anyone get in the way of what he wants. If what he wants has something to do with me, he’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen, even if those actions are what I would deem wrong.
But now that he’s mentioned Sarah with that look on his face, I’m dying of curiosity.
“How so?”
“She came clean. Told Simone off. It was harsh, but true. Needed to be said.” His voice loses volume as he adds, “I should have done that instead.”
On a laugh of pure disbelief, I mutter, “Well, it’s too late for that now. How is Simone?”
“Smitten.”
“Oh shit,” I groan.
Justin moves over so I can get out of this bathroom. I need to pace. He leans against a wall and waits.
Finally, I grumble, “You deserve this. You deserve each other.”
“I don’t have feelings for the girl.”
“I know! Jesus, you should have thought of that.”
“How did I know she’d get all goo-goo eyed?!” he explodes.
Laughing harshly, I face him. “Because you’re an asshole. Women like her love dark clouds! It’s why she didn’t like me. You’re over there acting like you don’t care, because you don’t! And that is going to make her want you. God, you know this! It’s science! It’s how they work!”
“I know,” he sighs loudly through his nose, looking very much like our father. “I’m going to…ah fuck. I don’t know. What do you want me to do?”
I rub my forehead for solutions. “She lives in Detroit. Let it play out. Give it some time. Show her attention and don’t hu
rt her. Let distance be the reason it ends.” Off his look, I point at him. “I know what you’re thinking. But she’s not an bad person. She’s just spoiled. She doesn’t need you fucking with her heart right now when she’s got this album coming out. It’s more important than you. Hell, it’s more important than her, too.”
He makes a face like he doesn’t understand.
But he wouldn’t. Only an artist would. And the people who support them. Like me.
“Art isn’t just for the person who made it. It’s for the world.”
Snorting, Justin mutters, “Write a Hallmark card.”
Walking to my kitchen I almost don’t spell it out for him, but this is something I’m passionate about, and I had to listen to his potholes speeches.
Over my shoulder while I pour orange juice for both of us, I tell him something that will probably never stick, but fuck it. I have to do this.
“The reason it’s a tragedy when an artist dies at an early age, or why we all mourn David Bowie even when he lived a long life and leaves us, is because their art was sent to us, the people, to elevate our worlds. Make our days better. Life is shitty most of the time, and then there’s that perfect song that moves your body and makes you forget your past, your future, everything.” Justin has walked over and I hand him his juice as I finish, looking him right in his eyes, “Simone was given a gift. And her and those boys singing that song are going to lift people up when they hear it. And she’s going to tour, and every city she goes to will be elevated by the people who bought those tickets. Because that’s why art is so important. And you breaking her heart right now by telling her you don’t care about her, isn’t the right thing to do. You want to make this right? Treat her with respect. And let time take its course.”
He’s listened to every word, and he licks his lips against the ego-hit it is for him to take my advice. Justin was born two minutes before I was and believes in his heart that he’s older than I am, and therefore should be leading the way. And he usually does. But sometimes, like today, I have to step into the older brother role.
He taps his juice glass to mine and nods once, muttering, “Okay.”
“Good. Now go home and shower. I have to call Sarah.”
As soon as the door clicks behind him I’m dialing the number I used to hate calling. She answers after three rings, right as I think I’m being sent to voicemail.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” I smile. “Thought for a second you weren’t going to answer.”
I can hear the amusement in her reply. “I thought about it.”
“You should’ve made me wait.”
“I don’t feel like playing games with you, Jason.”
“Me neither.” We’re silent a moment and then I say, “What’s on your schedule for today? I know how tight you keep that thing.”
“I have to take Simone to the airport. Then I guess I’m coming back to the Airbnb.”
“She’s leaving?”
Lowering her voice, Sarah tells me, “Something happened I’m not sure it’s my right to tell you.”
“She slept with my brother.”
“You know?”
Frowning I pick at a bubble of paint on my wall. “He just left. Yeah. He told me.”
On a sigh, Sarah says, “Oh good. I didn’t want that between us. How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Really?”
“I don’t have feelings like that for her, Sarah. Justin didn’t hurt me with what he did.”
Another exhale. “Oh good. Well, I know how he is, so I’m sure you won’t mind my coming out and being honest. Simone’s getting out of town so he doesn’t get attached.”
I almost snort, but instead mutter an incredulous, “Come again?”
“Yeah, he was really into her and she’s just not feeling it. And after what I told her today when I was mad, she confessed she doesn’t want to use men anymore. She’d rather just be alone for a little while.”
“Ahh…well, I’m sure he’ll be crushed, but he’ll get over her in time.”
Sarah’s voice is weighted as she agrees, “I think the distance will help, don’t you?”
I’m trying so hard not to laugh. “Yep. I hope you’re right.”
“Me too. She always leaves a string of broken hearts behind her and I don’t want your brother hurting. Justin can be arrogant, but…you know.”
“When can I see you?”
“Oh, uh,” she laughs, nervous. “I can come by after the airport?”
“Come to the studio. I’ll be working.”
We get off the phone and I pull up my brother’s number, thumb hovering. “Fuck it. I won’t tell him. I’m gonna enjoy this too much. Maybe it’ll teach him a lesson.”
Laughing to myself, I dial Jake’s number instead.
“Hey Jason, how was the party?”
“Weird. How’s Drew?”
“Better. Fever broke. She’s sleeping.”
“Jake, Bernie showed up last night.”
“Oh, fuck, you’re kidding me? You toss her on her ass?”
Huffing through my nose as I head to pull the sheets off my bed for the laundry, I tell him, “No, that’s why I’m calling. Tell Drew she finally agreed to rehab. I just got back from taking her there. Who knows if it’ll stick, but it’s the first time she agreed to go.”
“Wow, okay, Drew’ll want to know about this. She’ll probably go visit.”
“No visitors for awhile. It’s going to be a rough start for her.” I opt not to tell him about the heroine, and say instead, “But I have faith. When you and Drew go, I’ll go with you guys, okay?”
“Sure. How’d you get her to say yes?”
Smiling as I tug the pillowcase off, I tell my brother with a big smile, “Sarah got her to go.”
“Who’s Sarah?”
“Someone you’re about to meet. Very soon.”
His voice lightens as he understands what I’m saying. “Holy shit, Jason! Are we talking BBQ time?”
“We most certainly are!”
Jason
No matter how many times I listen to their singing as I mix the tracks on Just For Me, it hasn’t gotten old. I’ve got a half-eaten apple beside my soundboard, and an empty Styrofoam carton from take-out I picked up from Nuevo Laredo, the best Mexican restaurant in Atlanta. I had a craving for salmon tacos and they really rock them out there.
But even with my stomach satisfied, and the song moments away from being finished, I can’t stop shifting in my chair looking at the clock, even though I never asked Sarah when she was coming, or when that flight took off.
When a light rapping comes from outside I mutter, “Finally,” and spring up to let her in. Swinging the door open, sunlight hits me but it’s far less powerful than the impact of seeing her for the first time since she left this morning. She looks tentative and soft. That crooked smile is killing me it’s so cute. She’s wearing flats so I bend down really low to make her laugh as I ask, “How’s the weather down here.”
“Ha! Shut up.”
“Oh, cold I see. So much warmer up here. I’ll just go back up.”
She smacks my arm. “Jerk.”
“Jerk?” I grab her and throw her over my shoulder. She yelps in surprise and starts hitting my ass with her fists as I kick the door shut. “This jerk is much stronger than you, little lady. Better be nice or I’ll punish you.” I give her ass a spank and make her yelp again.
“Jason, put me down!”
“Say please!”
“Put me down now!”
“Nah, how about I give you a little spin?” She starts yelling for me to stop as I whip us around in circles.
“I get carsick!”
Laughing I take her off my shoulder and slide her down my body, nice and slow. Fuck she feels good, but I love to mess with her so I say, “That’s because you have control issues. No one ever gets carsick in the driver’s seat.”
“It’s a chemical thing,” she argues, eyes stubborn as she slips her
arms around my waist and then surprises me by grabbing my ass and squeezing really hard. “Always wanted to do that,” she grins.
My smile disappears as I lean down to kiss her. She pulls away before I can and whispers, “I’m having a really hard time with this.”
“With what? Staying here with Simone gone?”
Her eyes are so vulnerable right now, the wall completely down. “Believing it’s true.”
I take her chin and press my lips to hers, holding there a moment before I say, “It’s true.”
She opens for me, her tongue lightly touching mine at first. Then she lets me lead the kiss into a hungrier one. My hands roam her body, but I can feel her resistance so I don’t touch her breasts yet. Even though I’m dying to.
I keep kissing her until she starts moaning in my mouth and pressing her hips tighter against me like she wants more. I slip my hand under her t-shirt and her breath hitches in anticipation. Again I get the feeling she’s inexperienced. Her eagerness has an innocence I haven’t come across in a long time.
I run my finger under the wire of her bra as I lick her tongue, pressing my lips harder into hers as I reach all the way under and cup her breast, running my thumb over her nipple until it pebbles under my fingerprint. “Jason,” she moans into my lips, sending shivers down my abs. My cock is so full it’s painfully pushing at my jeans. They’ve shrunk. I’m straining to break free of them now.
“God, you taste so good,” I groan as I work rougher kisses down her neck, caressing and pawing her other breast, both of my hands in heaven. “Let’s take this off,” I rasp. Her eyes go nervous as I pull her shirt over her head. “Haven’t you done this before, Sarah?”
She licks her lips like she doesn’t know if she should tell me.
I toss the fabric and free her breasts from her bra, tossing that, too. “Fuck, these are perfect.” Leaning down I take one in my mouth. She arches her back and moans. Against her taut crest I murmur, “You can be honest. I can handle it.”
On a whisper, she confesses to me, “Only once. And it was awful.”
Cocky Romantic: A Hot Romantic Comedy Stand Alone (Cocker Brothers of Atlanta Book 4) Page 14
