“And you have done the same to me.”
With that, they were both crying. Weeping with glee that their lives had turned out so well, but also sobbing with sadness that they would be going their separate ways forever now. They had grown used to being out of each other’s lives, but this was another step entirely.
“I will be a mother to a lady, and you an adventurer. Who would have thought it? The maid and the girl who never left her room, who was locked away from the world. It is crazy, please agree with me that it has been crazy.”
“Life has been strange, has it not?” Iris had not thought of it in such simplistic terms before, but actually, that was incredibly accurate. “But yes, it is crazy. Wonderful too.”
“Oh yes, very wonderful. I never knew that it could be so good.”
As they walked back towards the house, there was a sense of peace finally surrounding the girls. For the whole time that they had been friends, they had never felt so calm and content with life. Everything was perfect and it could really only get better. And now they had their closure. The past had been put behind them, all they had now was a bright green future.
Chapter 37
Iris felt gleeful as she stepped across the wooden slats that took her up onto the boat which would take her away from everything and everyone she’d ever known. With its large, billowing sails and a deck that seemed to stretch on for miles, it looked to Iris like it was going to be a very comfortable and relaxing journey. To her, the ship looked like the most wonderful, grand, exciting vessel ever. She was excited to see where it would take her.
Maybe she would not feel that way in a week or two, only time would tell. For now, all she cared about was how wonderful this made her feel. She was once the girl who never left her bedroom for fear of the outside world. Now she was the bravest person she knew, she was about to embark on a wonderful adventure.
“This is nice, is it not?” Ewan asked as he boarded behind her. “I chose my best ship for our journey, and I am sure that you will like your cabin.”
As they were not husband and wife yet, they would sleep separately on the journey over to the other side of the world, but Iris felt glad of that. She wanted to get to know her future husband inside and out before anything physical happened between them. Before now, things had always been too strained and stressful to make anything happen. They loved one another, but they did not fully know each other in the sort of detail that she would have liked. Especially as Iris had been hiding herself for a lot of the time. She’d had to really keep a lot of her true self in.
But not anymore!
This would give them time to really learn about each other. Iris could regale all of her childhood stories she hadn’t been able to share before, she could explain the dark period of her life more clearly to ensure that Ewan truly knew every side of her, she could even discuss the switch freely while they were out on the water. There would be no one to judge her or blame her for what she had decided to do. She could also see everything about him too. Of course, Ewan had been much more open with himself and his life, but Iris felt certain that there was a lot more to share.
She wanted to soak all of the information in like a sponge. She wanted to know Ewan better than she knew herself. She could not wait to find out everything that he wanted to say. This was a big step for the both of them, but in Iris's eyes, it felt so much better than starting their lives together on a lie.
Now she could be Iris, truly herself in every single way.
“Can I hang over the edge?” she asked gleefully once fully aboard. “I wish to wave goodbye to my family as we go.”
"Yes, of course, you may. That is why they are here, after all."
Elizabeth had come with her rounded belly but no husband in tow – Iris could only assume that he did not know anything. Luckily Elizabeth was smart enough to ensure that somehow or another, he would not find out. Olivia has joined them with her children as well, which had made Iris a little nervous in the beginning. Fortunately, she had given Iris a disapproving look, before wrapping her arms around her and telling her to take good care of herself.
It was a wonderful goodbye. Just what she hoped to get from her oldest sister.
Of course, Elizabeth was very supportive. Much as she would miss Iris she needed her sister to be happy. After all the misery that she'd been through in her life, she deserved to have a fresh start that suited her greatly. Elizabeth could not help wondering what her father would think about this turn of events... but his reaction would be too awful to even think about. He was not a cruel man, particularly, but this would send him over the edge.
“Goodbye!” she screamed into the wind, with a massive beaming smile on her face. “I love you all, goodbye!”
The ship rumbled beneath Iris and Ewan as it pushed away from the dock to taken them away. Iris waved brightly to everyone, but inside herself, she was searching for a sign that this was all wrong. She felt certain that some fear would creep to the surface the moment she started to leave her old life behind... but there was nothing. Nothing but glee.
England was moving away, she was travelling towards a brand new life, where she knew no one and she did not understand the culture. But she felt wonderful about that. She was excited to see what was out there. There was an entire planet to be seen, and now she was one of the lucky ones who would actually get to explore it. At least some of it.
And she could come back. She would come back at some point to visit if the journey was not a horrific one.
“How do you feel?” Ewan asked her cautiously as he stared at his bride’s to be face. “It is hard to say goodbye, is it not?”
“It is, but also it is not.” She gave him a loving smile. “I am looking forward to what the future holds, especially as I get to be with you.”
Now that Iris had accepted the love into her heart, it filled her up so much that she felt certain it was the only thing keeping her going. Ewan got her heart pumping, her feelings for him kept her blood moving, every breath she took filled her lungs with everything him.
It was a miracle that she had even managed to survive for as long as she had without him. She did not know how she had done it. She was also very unsure as to how she would have survived if she’d been forced to marry someone else.
“I am glad that I get to be with you as well, you are the true love of my life.” Ewan was so glad to hear that Iris was doing well. The last thing he wanted was for his idea to cripple Iris with anxiety once more, but she did not appear to feel that way one bit. “Things have moved quickly, I understand that, but it is for the best. This way we get to be free."
The mention of the word ‘free’ was all it took. Iris spun around and danced across the deck like a mad person. The wind flowed through her hair, it blew under the skirt of her dress, it brushed against her skin pinking her cheeks, but she felt happier than she had ever been before. She was free, finally, she had found a way to get the freedom she so desperately craved. She even flapped her wings like the bird she always wanted to be.
She was the painting now, she was the bird, and it was the best sensation in the world.
“We can dance however we like,” she yelled into the wind. They weren’t too far away from the dock yet, there was a chance the breeze had carried her words to shore, but it did not matter. She was throwing England off her shoulders, all the restrictions were going, it did not matter how anyone viewed her anymore. “We can sway and move in any which way.”
Ewan laughed loudly and happily as he watched the beautiful woman that he had fallen in love with shaking off the shackles that had held her back for so long. As her blonde hair waved in the breeze, and her pale dress flickered up around her knees, all he wanted to do was scoop her up into his arms so he could hold her forever more.
Their time would come though, he was not worried. All he needed was a little more patience. Even though it did not feel like it right now, he was sure he could give her that much.
After all, she deserved it.
He was afraid too, of course, he would have to be insane not to be, it was not everyone who took such drastic steps in this life, but he knew that somehow he would find a way to make it work. Everything in England was all wrapped up, now they both just had the future to look forward to. Somehow he would make his business work in America, somehow they would find a home of their own, somehow... with Iris, all would be fine.
“Let me dance with you,” Ewan yelled towards Iris. “I want some of that freedom too.”
He grabbed onto Iris’s hands and they twirled and danced into the waves. They laughed at nothing, almost hysterically so. Ewan had never seen Iris beaming so much and he felt wonderful to know that this was all because of him.
Things were going to be wonderful, he just knew it.
Iris’s heart pounded faster than it had ever gone before, this dance was the best one that they’d shared yet because it was leading somewhere. This time, the dance itself wasn’t monumental because everything going on around them.
Still, as she fell into Ewan’s green eyes, knowing that soon enough he would be her husband, hers forever, it felt wonderful. His eyes were deeper than the ocean, and they told one million stories, and Iris could not wait to learn every single one of them. With his arms wrapped around her, and the heat of his body rushing through her, Iris knew that there was nothing to worry about, Ewan would keep her safe.
“Show me my cabin,” Iris panted as she fell into Ewan’s arms at the end of her dance. “I would like to see where I will be sleeping on the water for the next weeks, however long it will take.”
Iris hoped that she would finally be able to sleep now. She prayed that the ocean air would run through her and get her the rest that she so desperately needed. She had not had a good night of sleep for what felt like forever. The boat would fix that, she hoped.
“Of course, come with me.”
Ewan took Iris’s hand and he led her towards the room that he had decorated well for her. She had the best bed sheets, the loveliest drapes he could fine, the freshest flowers. He wanted this wonderful woman to enjoy her trip, he had heard that life on the ocean could be challenging and he did not want Iris to suffer.
“Oh wow,” Iris declared loudly as she glanced around the room. "I do not know why exactly, but this reminds me of my bedroom back at home. Back at my first home." Iris corrected herself because the Oakley household had definitely been her home as well. “There is something very comforting about it. It reminds me of all the time I spent within those walls.”
“You will have to tell me about your bedroom,” Ewan asked greedily. He needed to know everything about Iris, just as she did him. “I feel like there is so much that I need to learn about you.”
“Let us sit out on the deck and I will start.” Iris slid her fingers through Ewan’s and she led him out of the cabin. “I can finally tell you everything that you wish to know.”
“Oh, I want to know everything,” Ewan declared as he followed her. “But for now, let us enjoy the sun, let us watch the country we have grown up in fade into the distance.”
Iris loved that plan, she wanted to truly feel herself leaving so it would feel much more real. She raced to the edge of the deck once more and she stared at the tiny buildings as they became nothing.
As Ewan caught up with Iris, he flung his arm over her shoulder, embracing her as they said a silent goodbye. She snuggled into him, she lost herself in his scent, she felt that love pumping through her once more.
If someone had told Iris a year ago that she would be on a ship leaving her old life behind, she never would have believed it. It seemed too far away from her life as it was to even consider. It was incredible to think how far she had become.
All because of Daisy.
All because of Ewan.
All because of her.
Epilogue
Iris swayed her hips from side to side, knocking her cream coloured dress out as she went. It was a soft dress, with no lace, no fuss, no complication, which fit her perfectly. It blew up around her every time there was a gust of air, but it was not enough to be too revealing. It felt free and birdlike, which matched Iris’s new life completely.
“Are you ready for this?” Ewan asked her quietly as they stood outside the quaint little church they had found to marry them on such short notice. After weeks of travelling together on the boat, they were keen to get married as soon as possible to start their new life together. They had been forced to accept a six PM ceremony, but that hardly mattered. “Or are you having second thoughts?”
“It would be a bit late if I were,” Iris teased playfully. He had a lovely suit on, which made him look more fabulous than usual. Iris had not thought that she would ever get a husband, let alone one that was so handsome and kind. She had gotten very lucky with Ewan. “Since we are now very far from home. I do not think I could turn back now.”
They were in a small, oceanside Californian town to be exact. They had chosen a place that was big enough for them to blend in, despite their accents, but also small enough for them to feel at home. Ewan needed to be by the water too, so he could keep working with his ships and trading. This was the perfect place for the both of them, they were incredibly excited to get started.
“Let us do this then.”
Ewan took Iris’s hand and he guided her into the church, and as she moved Iris could feel a skip in her step. It was almost as if she was uncontrollably light now, that without the weights on her shoulders bringing her down she could fly away at any given moment.
“Wait!” All of a sudden she stopped, realizing something huge. “We do not have any witnesses. We do not have any family here, so we must have someone watch us get wed, or it will not count.”
“Oh!” Ewan understood that she was right. “But we do not know anyone here. My crew has all gone, what shall we do?"
It was very possible that in the past Iris would have allowed herself to become consumed in panic. She would have given up, caved at the first obstacle in their path, but Iris was different now. She had more strength than anyone Ewan knew.
Maybe sharing her story with him had helped her to say goodbye to the past, or maybe physically leaving it behind had given her power. Or maybe it was everything that she’d been through. Ewan knew now that it was a lot. It seemed to him that she had always had some strength.
“I will ask someone,” she giggled. “We must get to know the people in our new town anyway. Maybe this is the perfect way to do that.”
Ewan reached out his hand to stop her, but it was too late. Iris had already bounded over to an elderly couple and she was pleading with them. “Please, I would love to get married to the love of my life today, but we have left all our family behind. Will you watch us?”
“You are English?” the man asked her. “Why have you come to America?”
“Because America is such a wonderful place, with so many opportunities.” Iris flung her arms out widely causing her enthusiasm to shine through. “Why would we want to be anywhere else in the world?”
"And what do you do?" The man looked a little bewildered as if Iris and Ewan might be criminals on the run. It was obvious that they had wealth, but of course, there was no guarantee where it had come from.
“My husband to be is in the trading business.” All of a sudden they all turned to look at Ewan, and he gave them all a very uncomfortable wave. “And I have not decided yet. But who knows? America is where anyone can be anything, is it not?”
There was something so likable about Iris, something so utterly irresistible that Ewan could see the hearts of this coupl
e melting. She had this sweetness to her, an adorable air that made him love her all over again.
If this was what it took to make her his wife, then so be it.
“We will come,” the lady of the couple said decisively. “We will watch you start your life together. Do you have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue?”
“Well, my dress is new,” Iris mused. “And my shoes are old, but I do not have any of the other things. I do not think that we need any luck though.” As far as Iris was concerned, she was already the luckiest person on the planet.
“Here.” The woman pulled a blue comb from her purse. “Tuck that in somewhere while you say your vows. Then it is something borrowed and blue.”
Iris clutched it to her chest as happy tears filled her eyes. “Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me.”
“We have been married for years now,” the lady continued in a loud whisper. “And although it is wonderful, it is not always easy. I believe that it is best to start things in the best way possible.”
Iris and Ewan shared a grin, knowing that they had started things perfectly. Nothing about their love was traditional, but they hoped that everything to come next will be.
“Let us go inside.”
Having never had a wedding before, or even attended one, Ewan was not sure what to expect, so he held tightly onto Iris’s hand as they walked down the aisle together. Iris was not sure what to expect from an American wedding either, but everything about it felt lovely. There was a true sense of love and happiness in the air, which made the ceremony perfect before it had even begun.
The pastor who stood at the end of the aisle had a delicate smile playing on his lips, as of he found this very small, nontraditional wedding amusing.
Once Iris and Ewan reached the front of the church, they stood hand in hand and waited for the words to be spoken that would bind them together forever.
The Duke of My Heart (Regency Romance) Page 28
