by Pelzer,Lissa
Lilly tried to stand up, but he held her hands where they were. He was old but strong as hell. He pushed her down into the chair and she was pushing back, feeling the skin on her wrists rip under his grip. He turned her around and he had her by the skull, pushing her face into the soft sides of the silk sofa, making sure she couldn’t scream. She didn’t scream, Lilly knew, even if she could, no one would hear. This room and her room were the only ones on the corridor with anyone in them. The Judge had taken every precaution. He’d thought she was underage and until that day, she had been.
‘Are you going to be quiet?’ he hissed.
Lilly couldn’t answer. The hot, damp air of her breath was suffocating her. He gave her head a shove and the pain shot up her neck into her skull. And she’d kicked out. She got him somewhere in the stomach and he’d let go. She would have run, but the room spun like she’d been doing poppers. She saw the door, but it was just a jittering rectangle in the distance. That’s when she first thought it. Where was Bobby? Why wasn’t Bobby listening right outside the door? Who sends a girl to a room with a man like this and doesn’t wonder the whole time, what the hell was going on?
But Lilly had rolled away and was almost at the door anyway, almost on her feet when he kicked her in the stomach. It doubled her over and she went down on the carpet again, reaching up to the door handle until he kicked her again.
The Judge stood there watching her, letting her stay like that, coughing and spitting on the floor. She couldn’t breathe. He had impaled her organs against her spine, the spikes of her vertebrae had gone in and perforated her guts, that must have been what had happened and she waited with every muscle tensed for the next blow to come.
But it didn’t.
The old man straightened up and walked away. She heard him speaking in the other room. He said, ‘Yes, Harold. I won’t be making that transfer. You can go home. Yes. I’m quite sure. Thank you.’ And then she opened her eyes and saw his slippered-feet coming back towards her.
‘I’ll have to have a word with Mr. A about all this you realize. They’ll be repercussions. There are always repercussions when one individual is dishonest to another.’
The Judge had rested his hand on her back as she coughed and gagged. He lowered himself down on one knee, playing to his age now that she was cowed.
‘And I was going to do it so nicely,’ he said. ‘It wouldn’t have been so very painful if that was what you were afraid of. You might have even enjoyed it. You know, most young ladies with a normal sex drive do.’ He lowered his mouth towards her ear. She thought he was going to kiss her, but he whispered. ‘Your friend likes it. She likes it a little too much.’ And he reached for the dildo. ‘Do you know what’s so special about wood?’
She closed her eyes and he kept talking.
‘It is the warmth. That’s what’s so special about wood. Once it’s inside you. It’s just like a man.’ He was getting to his feet, one inch at a time, heaving himself up as if it pained him. ‘A very young, virile man, but, of course, it doesn’t bend like a man, once it’s inside you, that’s the magic. Long after it’s out, and sterilized and back in the bag…you’ll still remember it. Still feel that bittersweet ache in your stomach’ And he held it up for her to see. ‘It’s a custom job,’ he said. ‘A work of art. Beautiful isn’t it?’
Lilly grimaced when she saw it, the bulges and veins carved into it were unreal and there swinging down between the gap in his bathrobe, The Judge’s junk hung like a bunch of balloons eight days after a party. ‘We’re still going to play with it,’ he said. His voice began to rasp. ‘You just stay right where you are, and use that pillow if you feel like you want to hit something again or bite down perhaps. Well, go from the back, I think, for safety reasons.’
Lilly had taken a breath. The first real one she’s managed since he kicked her. Her eyes were open now and he watched her looking at the stick. It had a leather strap on the end like a nightstick and Lilly had reached out for it.
For a moment, he must have been dumb enough to think she wanted to touch it. And he wanted to see her touch it. But when she got it between her fingers, just the leather tickling her fingertips, The Judge saw her intention and grabbed her wrist. But she didn’t let go. Two fingers contracted like the tail of a scorpion around the strap and he wasn’t in the right position to pull, so he let go.
Maybe he knew it would hit her in the face. She heard a crack. She felt the air in her ears. The pain shot through her skull. And he was over her again. The light in his eyes had dulled. The thought went through her mind. This was it. She would never go back to Miami. This was going to have been her last birthday.
An echo sounded. The Judge said something. He was coming towards her again. The strap had fallen over her wrist and she still had it. Lilly pulled and it came. She was flat on her back scrambling to keep it. She felt repulsion even as she took it and owned it, but no disgust as she pulled it back over her head until it touched the thick pile carpet again and swung.
She took the shot, swinging hard towards his face like a hopeless swing at a badly pitched ball. She heard the pop as it hit his temple, thought she saw his skull indent and bounce back, but it couldn’t have been. It just couldn’t have been. He was standing up now, mouth open and fists clenched. He was tough. Maybe he was even faking the stumble, to get himself away, to get whatever he had in mind to hit her with back.
She had to get herself up. She had to knock him out and get away.
Lilly had got up on one knee, got one foot flat on the floor, had swung and got him again, got him in the knee. There was a noise, a solid pop and he groaned. His face contorted and he fell forward, but she wasn’t quick enough and he was on top of her. His mouth opened. Slime and spittle flew towards her face. His teeth gnashed. He was coming towards her face like he would bite off her cheek. She hit him again, on the back, on the shoulder, twisting around to get him on the thigh. She raised that nasty hunk of custom-made bullshit and would have struck him on the back of the head except it would mean striking herself with his skull. He grabbed her ankle and she hit his elbow, hit his arm, his head, and his back again. He groaned now, admitting she’d hurt him. She gasped for air. Her lungs opened. She stood over him…
‘Let go of me!’ Moon Face was yelling. Her face contorted. ‘Leave me alone!’
Lilly had her by the arm, by the neck, pulling at her, but getting nowhere.
People were looking at them. Heavy Eyes was standing there, half inside in the doorway, just out of sight, but Bleach Job was already outside.
‘The girl doesn’t want to go with you. What’s your problem?’
‘She shouldn’t be here,’ Lilly was yelling, hearing her voice far away, coming from another room, the smell of dentist chairs still in the air.
‘You shouldn’t be here.’ Bleach Job was making fists, holding them down by his sides. ‘Can’t someone get this crazy bitch out of here? Who brought her anyway?’
She saw Gary seeing her without looking at her, saw him pulling his chin into his chest and ducking back into the room. Cassandra was there, watching, a glass of champagne in one hand. She kept watching. She didn’t turn away.
Now someone had taken a hold of Lilly by the arm and her shoe caught on the carpet and got yanked off. They were going down the stairs, her foot slipping. She grabbed the banister and someone wrenched her fingers away. The Big Guy was just looking up waiting for them to make their way down. From above there was laughter, someone threw down her shoe and it hit her on the top of the head.
‘Hey, get off of me!’ She yanked her arm, but it didn’t move. ‘Summer!’ she called out, but no one answered.
‘Can you get this freak out of here,’ the guy was saying. He was shoving her into the Big Guy’s arms and Lilly looked back. It was the guy with the kind brown eyes. Didn’t he get what was going on up there?
‘I’ve got it. I’ve got it,’ the Big Guy said and took a hold of her as he had before. She was captive but protected. She wanted to scream
, but he looked her in the eye and the air got trapped in her lungs.
‘They’ve got my friend,’ she said with a gush of breath.
‘I’m sure she knows what she’s doing.’
‘She doesn’t,’ Lilly said. ‘You’ve got to go and get her.’
His chest lifted. ‘I don’t belong up there any more than you do.’
‘You’ve got to go and get her.’
‘It’s not going to happen! No one’s going up there. Now come on.’
They were almost out the front door before she knew what floor they were on.
The Big Guy was saying, ‘where’s that cop friend of yours? You want to do something about this, you better call her.’
Lilly pulled herself out of his grip and smirked because she had, but the doors closed between them and the music stopped. He had just let go.
‘Hey, I left my phone in there,’ she called out, but the doormen were like any other club doormen, their eyes bored, their wrists crossed, fingers touching watches that couldn’t tick quickly enough. ‘Hey, that guy took my phone.’ She charged the door and pummeled it with her shoe, pushed it hard, felt it give a little and went to try again. One of the bouncers held his arm out. He looked down on her with pity.
‘Honey,’ he said. ‘Don’t embarrass yourself. It opens from the inside.’
And she wanted to kick him but it wouldn’t do any good and anyway, it wasn’t his fault.
She backed away, feeling the eyes of every other person on her and turned towards the bushes, found a tree to lean against and wedged her shoe back on her foot. There was the burn in her veins, anger that there was nothing she could do for Moon Face from out here but something else too. Lilly swore. Cassandra had seen her getting kicked out of the party and she’d tell Bobby and he’d laugh about it and it was all that girl’s fault.
Chapter 15
Lilly pressed her hand to her forehead and tried to think. She couldn’t think. She was tired and beyond knowing what she was meant to do. She had a hundred bucks in her wallet and she squeezed her purse tightly. That was enough to get a decent night’s sleep and a clear head. That’s what she needed if she was going to knock on Bobby’s door tomorrow morning, take him by surprise and tell him what she was going to do if he didn’t pay up. It was no good ranting and throwing vague threats around. This was Bobby she was dealing with. She had to tell him, pay up or go to jail. There was nothing left to do.
She did the math. How much was a room at an Econo Lodge for walk-in – eighty bucks? It could be more. How much was a cab downtown to pick up her bag, then to the highway and back again in the morning? It made her feel sick. Even when she had a hundred dollars in her purse, she still needed more. She should have charged Thad more, but it was too late for that.
The driveway wasn’t designed for heels and Lilly pitched down the gravel towards the wall. There was another barrier there, just a guy with a clipboard and Lilly wondered what criteria it took to get through the first gate that wouldn’t get you through the second. Then her question was answered.
Davis was stood there, a hand on one hip talking to the guy at the barrier. She’d made an effort, a dress and heels. She had lipstick on, but no foundation.
‘I have a ticket for the show,’ she was saying. ‘See there, with reception.’
‘Lady. This is a private residence. Not a Chucky Cheese birthday party.’
‘It clearly says…’
‘It means…’
But Davis had already stopped listening to him, she was turning to watch Lilly go past and Lilly was moving as quickly and steadily as she could, just to get away.
‘Is this one free?’ she asked as she reached for the taxicab door. No one answered and she pulled the handle, but it was locked and Davis was already there.
‘You leaving, Carol Ann? It’s not even two a.m.’
‘You know how it is.’ She pulled on the door again, bent down, looked through to the driver and tapped on the glass, but he just waved her forward.
‘I hope you got what you came for,’ Davis called after her.
‘Not particularly.’
‘Here let me get that for you.’
Lilly straightened up as Davis opened the door. There was Davis. She could tell her what was happening in there. She could call the local cops. But that wouldn’t be the end of it. She wouldn’t just deal with it and let her drive off back into the city. And in the end, what was it but a bad experience, something she’d learn from? You shouldn’t expect other people to treat you with respect. Other people were assholes. The sooner you learned that, the better.
‘You’re heading back to The District I assume…’
‘Sure.’
Davis smiled. ‘Me too…come on, my treat.’
And Lilly was an inch from telling her to go swing but did the calculations. It would save her a twenty at least. She got in.
The cab driver was heavy-footed which was just fine. The headlights shone off the trees and Lilly put the window down to get some air. This rich neighborhood was all trees, pines and oaks mixed together. The smell of green flooded the car and pushed some of the bad smells out of her skull.
‘So, Bobby didn’t offer you a ride back to town?’ Davis said.
Lilly stopped just short of correcting her, telling her Bobby was still at the party. But then she got it. ‘You saw him leave, huh?’
‘Seeing things is what I do. Part of the job.’
‘But you didn’t follow him back?’
‘What? To make sure he got home safe?’
Lilly felt a weight on her shoulders. Something Cassandra had said echoed in her head. But another thought interrupted it. If Bobby was back at the hotel, she could go and see him right now.
‘Is that what you’re doing with me, making sure I get home safely?’
Davis leaned over. ‘If I have not made that perfectly clear, please allow me to do so now. I am looking out for you. I am on your side. Everything I do is about you being safe.’
Lilly was glad of the seatbelt keeping her in place. If she came any closer, she’d need to get her booster shots.
‘You need to trust me, don’t you see? I am your only chance – I’m the something in your life that turns things around – whether you want it to or not. If you let this opportunity go, in ten, twenty years you’re going to look back on right now and regret it with every inch of your soul…’
‘It’s talk like that which makes me not trust you.’
‘I don’t get you.’
‘Making these vague suggestions. What exactly are you offering me? You offered Cassandra scholarships, a place to stay, all sorts of stuff. But to me, you just sound like Bobby. You sound like every guy I’ve ever met.’ And she pulled her purse closer towards her stomach and turned back to the window. ‘If you want me to testify against Bobby,’ she said quietly. ‘If you want me to tell the whole world that he puts underage girls out for big shots to fuck, you better tell me what I’m going to get for it. You better just give me a figure to work with so I can see if it’s worth my time.’
Davis shook her head. ‘The level of narcissism these days is unbelievable… Are you that much in denial that you can’t see the trouble you are in? Forget Bobby. Think of yourself.’
‘I am thinking of myself. I usually do.’
‘I’m trying really hard to show you that there is only one option for you, going forward. I’m trying, God damn it, to do this without making you incriminate yourself any further.’
‘But you said….’ Lilly turned her head, saw the gas station go past and calculated their proximity to The Colorado District. ‘You said I was the one who has been used.’
‘And you have been. But that doesn’t put you in any position to make bargains. She took her wrist in her hand. ‘I put that picture up there hoping we could have an open and frank dialog about it.’
‘What picture?’
Davis held a hand up to silence her. ‘Don’t play dumb. You know which picture. I came back to get
it, found the glass in the frame was broken and someone had kicked it under the couch.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘Now why would anyone kick glass under a couch where the cleaners might cut their hands? Don’t you think that’s odd?’
‘What, that someone broke a picture in a hotel?’
‘You know what I’m talking about.’
Lilly scrambled for words. ‘I saw it too. It was already smashed. So what – you think I broke it?’
‘I do. There was no one there except you and me and most people would go tell the reception if they broke something, so they could call housekeeping and clean it up…’
‘You have a pretty good impression of most people. Most people I know wouldn’t bother.’
‘You didn’t bother. You saw the picture of Sea Island. You saw it, you recognized it, you picked it up and you dropped it…’ They stopped at a light. The Colorado District was just up ahead. If she really needed to she could just get out here.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. A picture? Was it valuable? What’s the big deal?’
The cab pulled around into the square and knowing Davis still had to pay, Lilly reached for the handle. She got out as they came to a stop. Pushed her feet into the pavement and made for the hotel.
She was off, running like she had at fifteen years of age, kicking her own butt in her heels. She’d been running down Twelfth Avenue, the first time Davis had caught her. That was when she’d fucked up the years and given Davis the wrong date of birth a year later instead of earlier.
Davis had squinted. ‘That makes you fourteen. Is that what you’re telling me, Honey? You’re fourteen?’
She remembered it like it was just a few months ago. Davis looked just the same and Lilly could still run as fast, even if it was heels now instead of Converses. She saw the steps to the hotel and felt in her purse for the card to Gary’s room.
‘Carol Ann!’ the voice shouted out in the night. ‘You can’t run away from this!’
But she knew she could. If she could get to the elevator before Davis, she could get into Gary’s room, hide out for a while and Davis wouldn’t know where she was. It wasn’t like the Big Guy was going to stop her tonight. It wasn’t like they would even recognize her on reception dressed like this, but then she felt a hand on her shoulder, the tight compression that comes with the experience of grabbing children on the street. Davis stopped her and spun her around and she stood there below her, barefooted, her shoes nowhere to be seen.
