“Where have you been? Don’t you think I was worried about you?”
Brian met Felicity at the door because she’d knocked rather than use her key. She wasn’t sure he got the significance of that.
She’d come alone. Not just without Angela or Cassie or Cassie’s husband, but without Juniper, too. She wasn’t certain how difficult it would be to face Brian, so she’d taken the baby to Cassie’s. Her daughter Bess was ten and delighted to have her first, mother-supervised babysitting job.
It was easier to face him than she’d feared. Honestly, he did look a bit frazzled. He was attractive and in the kind of good shape of a man who paid careful attention to his health and his appearance. Not, she suddenly realized, in the way of man who liked using the power of his body, who relished and celebrated the fact that he was a testosterone-driven machine.
Not so handsome as she’d considered him just yesterday morning. And, she found, she really didn’t care if he’d spent the whole night up worrying about her.
“No,” she said, bluntly. “I didn’t think you were thinking about me at all.”
His cheeks reddened as he blushed. He motioned at her abruptly. “Come in, Felicity. Clearly, you’ve overreacted.”
She stepped past him into the ever-so-meticulous living room that she’d never loved and now could admit she actually disliked. “Overreacted? To your tongue-kissing little Doctor Maddie?”
“Doctor Gray,” the resident would say, whenever one of the nurses on the unit spoke to her informally. The seasoned nurses of peds-surg called even the attendings by their first names, at least all except the chairman, and so that request hadn’t been well received. Behind her back, she’d become “little Doctor Maddie.”
Brian rolled his eyes, like he was the offended one. “Come on. You know we work closely together. These things happen.”
Felicity lifted her own offended brow. “Really.”
He raised his hands, all innocence. “All right. I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
How big of him. Okay, her heart was broken a little, but she had to laugh. “Kiss her all you want, Brian. It’s no longer any concern of mine.”
She strode away, into their bedroom. Really, all she had to take with her was her laptop, clothing, and a few personal items. She’d done most of the cooking, given Brian’s longer work hours, so she’d stocked the kitchen, but she wasn’t going to raid the cupboards. Maybe the little doctor would figure out what to do with mae ploy curry paste and agar-agar and shoyu. Though, Felicity thought maybe she should consider taking a few of her favorite knives and cooking utensils.
Brian owned a set of Tumi luggage he prized, and she went directly to his closet with that in mind. When she pulled out the largest suitcase, he started objecting.
“Wait. You’re not leaving, are you?”
She opened the case on the bed and started filling it from her side of the evenly divvied-up dresser drawers. “Yes, Brian, I am.”
Seeming honestly hurt and confused, he took her hand and pulled her so he could sit on the bed and look up at her. “Felicity. Really, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You kissed another woman, Brian. Where all of my friends and coworkers and I could see you. How else am I to interpret that?”
He shook his head. “I don’t want you to leave.”
Maybe he already knew Maddie wasn’t much of a cook. Meow.
How did it happen that she was feeling bad? She took her hand away and stepped back, but didn’t turn from his hurt gaze. “I don’t think this relationship means the same to you as it meant to me.”
He shook his head, bewildered. “I care about you, Felicity.”
She nodded. “Maybe so, but I loved you. When I said it, that was what I meant. I think when you said it, you meant something different.”
“This is going to be all my fault?”
Her smile was pained, she knew. It was the best she could do. “I didn’t kiss anyone else.” Well, that was kind of a whopper, but the point was still valid.
He must have seen something in her eyes and turned suspicious. “Where did you spend the night?”
She pulled another armful of clothes out. “Brian—it’s none of your business.”
“Were you with someone else already? Is that how much we meant to you?”
“‘We’ were over yesterday, right about the time my shift ended.”
“Where are you going?”
“Somewhere else, Bri.”
He watched her silently, neither helping nor hindering as she emptied drawers and then the closet. He gave a little moan of pain when she took the last piece of his luggage, a carryon bag that she did, in the end, fill with her favorite kitchen items. He followed her to the door with each load she took out to Andy’s SUV, but didn’t give her a hand. Maybe he was just watching that she didn’t take the silver.
She’d only kind of come alone. Cassie’s husband Dennis had stayed in the SUV, waiting to help her load it and then drive her car to Reinen’s place. On her first trip out, she noticed that he’d parked his somewhat intimidating ass against the side of the vehicle, his arms crossed over his chest and a threatening look on his face.
Maybe that was what kept Brian inside.
Brian’s bright, sunny loft had several nice houseplants she’d tended for three years, so, as she took a last look around, she wrapped her arms around her favorite and carried the heavy pot out. No doubt, the man would have to consult his designer for the proper “element” to replace it.
Brian didn’t say anything as she left, not even asking if he’d ever see his luggage again. When he closed the door, she knew it was the closing of a chapter of her life.
* * * *
Two weeks later, Felicity was feeling exceptionally pleased with her subsequent life chapter. She and Juniper had gotten along from the start. The girl had a bit of stranger anxiety but, perhaps because they’d been introduced in the presence of Junie’s two best men, it hadn’t been an issue between them. It took them a few days to work out favorite meals and sleep time routines, but even that wasn’t much of a challenge.
The baby was spunky and sweet and had a will to be reckoned with. She was determined to walk and got back up no matter how many times she plopped down on her butt. They’d already had the discussion about how a little practice was okay, but her first true walk would happen in front of her father.
Felicity wasn’t sure Juniper intended to stick with her part of the agreement.
Juniper’s grandmother, Jean, had some residual effects from her stroke. Speech was difficult for her and she had right-sided weakness. She would be leaving the hospital soon for probably a couple months of rehab.
Jean had no other nearby family, and so Felicity took Juniper to visit often. She assumed some of the nursing care for the older woman and helped facilitate her transfer to rehab. Jean loved the visits from Juniper, and Juniper loved to show off her new skill, taking a few steps all on her own. Jean was inducted into the conspiracy of silence about that.
Felicity would have been happy to keep the baby with her all the time. She assumed, though, that Andy would need to find day care for her. So she enrolled Junie in a morning play program, thinking it would help her transition to day care if she spent some time with other children. Felicity herself used those few hours to study for her certification exam, a chore she’d had trouble finding time for while working full-time. And cooking for the asshole.
As expected, Judy had reluctantly granted Felicity’s leave, only grumbling a bit at the short notice. Cassie and Ange were getting over their shock. Both of them had come to visit, curious about the new, temporary life Felicity had found for herself.
It took a little while for Felicity to be comfortable living in Reinen’s home. For the first few days, she felt like she was tiptoeing around, an interloper in a stranger’s house. She slept alone in his big bed and fell asleep thinking of him, wondering what was ahead for their relationship when he returned.
&n
bsp; Even using the word “relationship” felt like a stretch. She cautioned herself that the man had picked her up in a bar, thinking only of a night of pleasure.
But she couldn’t discount the way he’d last made love to her, the sense she’d had that he was binding her to him, or his vow when he left that they weren’t done. It was a far cry from any real commitment, but she wasn’t at all sure her heart understood that.
Twice, she’d spoken to them both—Reinen and Andy. Her conversations with Andy were easier, with their focus on Juniper and his concern for Jean’s recovery. Jean was better, she told him, but wouldn’t be able to care for Juniper soon. If ever, she thought to herself. No, Juniper wasn’t walking yet, she lied. She was waiting to see her daddy, just as he’d told her to.
With Reinen, it seemed possible he felt as awkward as she did. He’d ask her if she was finding everything she needed at the house, and she’d ask how their mission in Haiti was going. Then they were in that no man’s land of how exactly to relate to each other, and neither seemed to have a clue.
“You’re sleeping in my bed?” he’d ask, his voice low.
“Yes,” she’d answer, a rough, almost-whisper.
“What do you wear?”
“Your T-shirt.”
He liked that. He didn’t speak, but she could hear it in the silence that followed, just the soft rasp of his breath.
FUBAR, they both said, of the situation in Haiti. They didn’t know yet when they’d sail for home.
So she found her comfort in their home, making a little life for her and Juniper. She discovered the screened-in porch off the kitchen, and the two of them had breakfast there every morning. After her playgroup, Junie would nap, then they took to the backyard. Neighboring cats came to visit, and Juniper loved that. She would toddle along after them endlessly, while the cats were smart enough to stay just out of reach. Felicity enjoyed poking around in the gardens, weeding and mulching a bit until she learned that Reinen employed a service.
Of course he did, she realized, once she’d spent a little time outside the house. The lawn was pristine, neatly mowed and edged. The borders were lushly filled with azaleas and rhodies, their waxy green foliage vivid now in early fall, offset by blue-green hostas. It was a pleasing effect, informal and random enough to be restful to the eye.
Still, the garage contained enough gardening tools and supplies to make Felicity think that Reinen had done much of the planting himself. As she strolled with Juniper around the neighborhood, she spotted specimens that made her fingers itch to plant. The next time she spoke with him, he told her she could do what she wanted with his yard.
They’d also run into other children in the neighborhood, and Junie had been wowed by her new friends’ play sets. That, Reinen had said when she’d wistfully mentioned it, could wait until the men got home.
In the midst of that conversation she began feeling self-conscious, realizing she sounded like a Navy wife consulting with her husband about home improvements while he was away. Reinen was matter-of-fact about it, however, even a little indulgent, and he seemed to have a smile in his voice when he hung up.
On a Saturday evening, wearing Reinen’s shirt and sipping at a glass of wine, Felicity sat down and put her feet up in front of the men’s big TV. The baby monitor was at her side. She was only a touch worried about how Juniper’s forehead had felt a bit warm when she’d kissed the little one goodnight.
* * * *
“Where the hell is Juniper? If you’ve stolen her, bitch, I’ll track you down and strangle you with my own hands.”
“Who is this?” Felicity removed the phone from her ear to look at it, as though she might have been clutching someone else’s cell in her hand. She’d startled when it buzzed, and she’d answered, knowing only that it was a strange number.
She’d been waiting for a call from the Red Cross, though she was pretty sure this gruff voice didn’t belong to their representative. And she didn’t have any patience for the list of threats that was underway when she listened again, and so she hung up.
Juniper still lay quietly in her little bed in the emergency room cubicle. She dozed, and that was a blessing after the way she’d wailed through a lumbar puncture. Only now, her very stillness was scary. Her temp was still over a hundred and four, despite the fever-reducing meds she’d had both at home and at the hospital, to say nothing of the cooling blanket she was wrapped in now. She had an IV running into her little arm for hydration and for an anti-seizure medication.
Because, God knew, seeing that tiny body wrack with seizures once was bloody well more than enough.
The phone buzzed again. She opened it and put it to her ear but she didn’t speak. The silence on the other end lasted for a moment.
A sigh came first. “Is this Felicity?” The tone was much more reasonable, almost apologetic.
“Yes.”
“I’m Wesley Coleman. I’m Andy’s and Reinen’s friend and I live at the house.”
He waited…and would have to keep waiting.
“Is Juniper okay? I’m guessing maybe you’re in a hospital or somewhere. I thought I heard monitors in the background just before you hung up on me.”
“I imagine it would be hard to hear, what with threatening to, what was it? Drag me back by my pretty red head?”
“Would you mind busting my chops about that later, and tell me if Juniper is okay?”
Was she? Felicity didn’t know, and as she looked at that pale, fragile face, tears threatened once more. “She…has a very high fever. She had a seizure. They just did a lumbar puncture and…” Felicity stopped, but not before her voice broke.
“Where are you?”
There was strength and comfort in those words now, and they gave her hope. He was on his way, he said. Soon, there’d be someone to share this awful burden with. Someone who actually knew Juniper and wasn’t just playing at…whatever Felicity had been playing at.
* * * *
The nurse had left the curtain pulled but the sliding glass door cracked, so Wesley could peek into the tiny room without disturbing its occupants. They were ruling out meningitis, the nurse had said, once he’d established his credentials. Andy had given both him and Reinen health care proxy status for Juniper the last time he’d gone out to sea. It was after Ellen’s death, and poor little Juniper had become, practically speaking, a temporary orphan.
If it wasn’t meningitis, then it was probably just a virus, and it was the fever that had caused the seizure, and the little kid would probably even go home in a few hours.
Wesley figured it wasn’t just his proxy status but the universally acknowledged power of his killer smile that had garnered the full story out of the busy nurse.
He’d heard from Andy that Reinen had lassoed a hot redhead, and that he’d left his daughter in her hands. It had seemed a suspect story. Andy was so protective of his daughter—with good reason, given the rough road of that little family’s first months—that he’d nearly lost his job over it. Though that was mostly on his dickhead chief.
So it was nothing but a surprise that he’d put Juniper in the hands of one of Reinen’s bar girls. Maybe there was some part of the story Wesley didn’t get, but he took it for fact that no one would blame him for the conclusion he’d leapt to.
He’d gotten off the ship and hit the bars with a couple of his buddies. They’d taken a cab from the base, because they all knew there’d be no one in condition to drive. So he’d taken another cab home at two o’clock in the morning. Juniper was gone. Andy’s high-end SUV was gone. Some piece of crap hybrid deal was in Ri’s bay.
Why wouldn’t he assume the bar tramp had taken off with a pricey vehicle and a heartbreaker of a little girl who had to be worth a pot of gold to somebody? Any sane person would have had those thoughts.
But the hot redhead’s face was ravaged, pretty as it was. She clung to Juniper’s tiny hand even as she dozed with her head dropped down onto the little crib-bed. She looked about as torn up as he would expect Jun
ie’s own mother to be, if that woman hadn’t been a crazy-ass bitch even before that postpartum shitstorm hit.
Okay, so maybe a handful of celebratory beers had put him in a dubious frame of mind, had him tumbling from reasonable suspicion to outright, ass-wrong conclusion. And made him a little over-the-top obnoxious on that first phone call, too.
Really, it could have happened to anybody.
Taking a gander at the good-looking little piece now, he had to assume she was really concerned about poor Juniper. And since Ri had confirmed that she was some kind of pediatric nurse—he was a pro at reading people’s scams, and he wouldn’t have fallen for one just because a woman had a pretty face and sweet curves—he had to figure she knew what she was doing taking care of a one-year-old.
Probably none of this was her fault, and still she looked torn up about it.
He stepped into the space and pulled over the companion to the chair she was sitting on, both of them molded orange plastic institutional crap. He turned it halfway between facing her and facing the bed and sat down.
It was enough to wake her up. She caught sight of him right off, but turned immediately to look at the kid. She ran her hand over Juniper’s forehead then looked above the bed to scan the monitors that hadn’t meant anything to Wesley. All he could tell was that there weren’t any indications of alarms, but she seemed satisfied.
Then she soothed the baby one more time and turned to face him. “This was a mistake.”
“You mean me calling you a bitch and accusing you of kidnapping the Nipper?”
She smiled at his nickname for the kid, but he wasn’t surprised when she shook her head. “No,” she said. “I mean me taking care of her. I mean Andy leaving me responsible for her.”
“So, you’re saying that if she’d been in the care of Andy or Jean, she wouldn’t have been exposed to a virus? She wouldn’t have caught a fever, or had a seizure? That’s on you? You did that?”
She turned her gaze away and hung her head in a defeated way he didn’t like to see. But she answered him. “No.”
Billings, Rachel - Three Men and a Woman: Felicity (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 6
