by Bry Ann
I shake my head and walk back in the room with Anatoli and Tobias.
“He’s in. The promise of vengeance got him.”
“It always does,” Tobias says and a dark smile appears on his face. It’s so dark a cold shiver runs through my body. Whoever he doled out revenge on in his life I don’t envy.
Chapter 7 (Rex):
Two uneventful days passed. Well, uneventful from the outside, but my head was reeling and Alex was really struggling. I could tell she was trying to be strong and didn’t want to fall apart again, but she was jumpy and withdrawn. She was suddenly very self degrading, which she never is. I’m scared to be honest. For the first time since the day I met her I wish she was all hardass and tough. She had to be if Pytor was going to take her. I hadn’t heard from Gunner about a time frame on all this, not for lack of trying. The guy must be hauled up somewhere, because I hadn’t heard a word since the day he dropped this bomb on me and Alex. Alex still hadn’t told her friends. I suspect she never will. She’ll want to go through all this and tell them after. Of course.
We both need a small break, a time to get our heads back on straight. We both are drowning under the weight of our secrets. I heard a saying back in the day, ‘secrets keep you sick’. I am beginning to see that could not be any more true.
“Alex?” I call. “Alex.”
“What?” she snaps, as she steps out of the bathroom. Her hair is in a towel and all she has on is an oversized t-shirt that does nothing to hide her body from me. I take a deep breath.
“Would you be open to doing something with me today?”
Her head flies back. She looks completely flustered, like it is the last thing she expected to hear me say.
“Like… a date?”
She quickly hides her hands behind her back. My heart does something funny when I see a pink tinge come to her cheeks.
“I mean, yeah. I guess that’s what it is,” I laugh. “I just want to spend time with you. Take you somewhere. No drama. No sex. Just… hang with you.”
Alex starts looking all sorts of flustered. I always forget how much it means to her when I just ask her to hang without expecting anything in return. Just fun. She looks on the verge of fighting tears, as she hides her face from me.
“Yeah. Sounds great. I’ll just get changed.” She sprints back into the restroom. Before she goes all the way in she pops her head back out. “And Rex, thanks.”
She smiles and shuts the door. I laugh shake my head. This girl and her layers. She’s not an onion, she’s a fucking walnut. Her exterior is so solid and hard to crack, but once you get inside you see who she really is. I walk off and get dressed. I don’t need to plan what I am going to do today. I already know. I kid you not, less than ten minutes later Alex pops out of her room ready to go. She’s wearing jeans that rest low on her hips, a chain belt and a purple tank top. Her brown blonde hair rests on her shoulders in curly waves. I silently laugh. She dresses like an emo teenager, but it suits her.
“Ready?”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“Ugh, I fucking hate surprises.” She cocks her hip to the side and glares at me. She’s about as intimidating as a kitten right now.
“Not gonna tell you. Let’s get to the car.”
She huffs, but I see the bounce in her step. She’s excited and no amount of attitude she tries to throw at me will disguise that fact. I follow her out of the condo. We drive for a while. We don’t say much mainly because I am so focused on my GPS and Alex is on my left jamming out like she is in a music video. Finally we arrive at a place that looks like a forest. Uh, okay. Alex looks at me confused. I’m confused too. I see the gate Logan referred to, so I act confident and gesture for Alex to follow. She has furrowed brows as she follows me, but the second she sees the gate her gaze flickers over to me, looking shocked. She knows where we are. A really sweet smile spreads across her face. She looks down trying to hide it. I open the gate for her and she goes in first. I put the ribbon up. We go through some brush and down quite a few rocks. In front of us is a stunning lake. I see why Logan and Sam come here for peace. An indescribable sense of peace takes over me. I hadn’t felt any semblance of peace since Gunner told me what his plan is. It feels incredible. I see it has the same effect on Alex. She is fiddling with the edge of the water. She looks at me with a soft expression, one I only get to see when we are totally alone. She keeps her gaze locked on me and then her hands go to the edge of her shirt. She lifts it off and her sports bra comes off with it. The look in her eye tells me that that was one hundred percent intended. God, she is so fucking sexy. She throws her belt off and closes the space between us. She plants her lips on mine, but it’s soft. Gentle. I’m slightly confused. She pulls away and looks at me. Her body is shaking. I rub my hands down her arms, wondering if she’s cold, although it is over eighty degrees outside.
“I love you Rex,” she whispers. My hands stop in shock. I grab the back of her head and kiss her with everything I have. She quickly removes me shirt and I smirk at her.
“I didn’t bring you down here to have sex. You know that right.”
“I know, but I like sex. I think it makes it better knowing you had no intention of just fucking me.”
“No sweetie.”
“Ugh, you’re a saint, but I’m gonna corrupt you a little.”
I smirk and push her to the ground with a controlled roughness. “Babe,” I laugh. “I’m plenty corrupted enough for you.”
“Prove it.”
I unbutton the top of her pants and slide one of my hands inside. She moans the second my finger finds her clit. At first I slowly run my hands along her clit and then I pick up the pace. She is moaning and writhing beneath me. I love seeing her like this; vulnerable. I pull away before she can come. She stops moving and glares at me. I smile and slowly remove the rest of her pants before she can remove mine. I go inside my back pocket and pull out the condom I snuck in there. Alex bursts out laughing.
“All that bullshit about no sex, huh?”
I laugh too. “Hey my intentions were pure, but I still gotta be prepared. You’re hot.” I wink and she keeps laughing. I’m secretly glad she’s not pissed. I really brought it just in case.
I slowly position myself over her. The sound of water gently hitting the shore rings in the background. I position myself at her entrance, but before I slide inside her I move the hair out of her face. I look her dead in the eye.
“I love you too Alex. I’m sorry things have always had to be so hard, but I’ll always love you. I never stopped.”
She kisses me hard, and I see the tears in her eyes and she runs her hands through my hair. As we get lost in the feel of each other’s lips. I slowly slip inside her. She gasps. I make love to her right there by the water, and for once she doesn’t fight me. She shows me how much she loves me. When we are done I pull her into my side as she cries. Overwhelmed by the idea someone truly loves her. After a long while she pulls away and looks down at me. Her eyes are teary and her hair is messy and all over her beautiful face. She’s never looked more beautiful than she does in this moment.
“We have to go back to Missouri soon don’t we?”
I sigh. I know that she isn’t worried about Missouri itself per se. She’s worried what’s going to have to happen when we go back there. I hate that we have to talk about this now, but there is no better place than here.
“Yes babe, but I will protect you. Everything will be okay. Gunner has a plan.”
He better. God, please let him have a plan.
She just nods and swallows. “Tomorrow I assume?”
“If that works for you?”
“Yeah it’s fine.”
She stands abruptly and runs into the water, still fully naked. I watch as she dips her head back and then pops up, running her hands through her hair like she is cleansing herself in the waters. I dress quietly and let her have her moment. She is trying to deal with everything, and I know first hand how
cleansing water can be. After Mia died, I used to take my mom to the lake by our house everyday. We’d both just go there and let out what we needed to. It didn’t fix anything, but it helped us cope.
It’s about ten minutes later I hear the water ripple and I see Alex emerge from the water. She put on her clothes and walked up to me.
“I’m ready to go.”
I feel myself nod, and from there we both wordlessly make our way back down the same path we came. This day did not go as hoped, but there is nothing I can do about that now. I try to hold onto the good of today. I try to stay in the moment. Alex told me she loved me, and I was able to tell it to her. Show it to her. I could never regret that.
Once we are back at the car I think about our next steps. The reality is we are leaving in a little over twenty four hours. Coming to terms with that changes things. It is not like we can go on and have fun. Go act like we both aren’t having to face our worst nightmares in the blink of an eye.
“Do you want to go see Sam and Dana?” Say bye. “We can see if Dana wants to come back with us.”
“That sounds perfect. Thank you.”
That is all that is said until we get to Sam’s. No words. No comfort. This time we are both just as lost and confused. All I want it to take her pain away, and I’m beginning to think that will never be possible.
Chapter 8 (Sam):
Alex is keeping something from me. I’m sure of it. I’m also pretty sure Rex is in on it. They haven’t said or done anything to indicate a big secret, but I won’t be duped twice. I can tell something is off. Things have been hard lately. I’m worried sick about Alex. Dana has been withdrawn since Gunner left. She’s worried sick, but feels too guilty to admit it. Me, well, Dusty has been a little lovable nightmare. He’s angry and struggling, and Jazmine is giving him hell. They literally cannot get along to save each other's lives and I am concerned. Logan is gone again for work and I feel like I’m barely holding it together. If there’s one thing that stress me out more than other it’s seeing the people I love struggling, and lately I feel like everyone I care about is one step away from a nervous breakdown.
“Mom! Mom!” I hear Jazmine’s high pitched squeal ring throughout the halls. “Dusty is being mean.”
Dusty pops his head in the room. “She’s an annoying little shit.”
I want to laugh, because, honestly, I am so freaking in love with this kid and his mouth, but I have to be a mom first. I want him to be a good man like Logan. Condoning this behavior would only mean failure and that terrifies me. I don’t want him to be this angry and cold forever. I’d hate myself. My mom didn’t fail me.
“We do not use language like that in this house Dusty.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you and Logan have never cursed.”
I take a deep breath. “Jazzy, sweetie, can Dusty and I have a private moment?”
Jazzy huffs and walks out of the room. I see Dusty stiffen. All traces of the relaxed, toughness from before is gone. He’s scared.
“Dusty, I’m not going to hurt you,” I say softly. “But I do have to explain something to you.”
I can tell he doesn’t believe me. He continues to stay stiff, straight. All he gives me is a curt nod.
“Dusty, you are eleven. What is okay for me and what is okay for you are two different things. I don’t set these rules to be annoying or to control you, I set them so you can grow up to be a good man.” I pause debating what I am going to say next.
“I don’t want you to grow up to be like the man who did this.” I run my hand over one of my scars and then one of his. “Do you understand? It’s because I care that I set these rules. I really love you Dusty. I get you don’t trust me yet. I didn’t trust my mom either when I first moved in with her, but I won’t ever quit on you. Okay?”
He stares at me at for a moment, I see flickers of his eleven year old vulnerability in his eyes. His desire to loved. He gives me a soft nod and I nod back.
“That’s all then kid. I have to meet with you and Jazzy’s teacher today.”
He walks right out of the room without saying a word. I sigh and put my face in my hands. I miss my mom a ton in right now. My head falls back and I look up at the intricate painted swirls on the ceiling.
“Help me mom,” I whisper. Then, because I have no privacy, Jazmine walks in.
“What are you doing?”
My gaze immediately snaps over to her.
“Nothing, just talking to my mom.”
“Your mom?” she asks with wide eyes.
“Yeah Jazzy, my mom. She’s not here anymore, but sometimes I talk to her.”
“Huh. Weird.”
I give a sad laugh. “Yeah. I wish you could have known her. Anyway sweetie, get dressed we get to go to your school today.”
“Okay! I'm going to wear my pink dress today. Jessie will be there.”
Then she sprints out of the room, positively glowing.
“Wait! Who’s Jessie?” I yell across the hall. “Jazzy, who is Jessie?”
She either ignores me or is already in her room trying on her dress. I swear sometimes Jazmine is just like me and other times I wonder if she is even mine at all. Dusty appears about five minutes later in his staple plain white t-shirt and army green cargo shorts. I can’t wait for Dusty to meet Gunner. They dress totally alike. Complete style twins.
“Is this okay?” he asks somewhat timidly. I try to hide my surprise, but then realize this is probably the first time a parent has shown any interest in his schooling.
I walk up to him and ruffle his hair. “You look like you. It’s perfect kiddo.”
He shrugs, but I see the slight smile and the spark that comes to life in his eyes. I make a mental note to give him casual compliments more often. He seems to really treasure them.
“Is that what you are gonna wear?” He looks me up and down and cocks an eyebrow.
“What’s wrong with what I am…” I look down at my baggy grey sweatpants and sweaty green t-shirt. “Okay point taken kid. Changing now.”
Dusty legit smirks at me as I walk out of the room. I love that he feels brave enough to call me out. It brings a smile to my lips because not only did he feel comfortable enough to say what he did, but he was respectful in the way he approached it.
The slight relief I feel disappears quickly.
“No it’s not. Mom! MOM!”
I sprint into the living room in my socks, jeans and oversized t-shirt that I threw on quickly.
“What’s wrong?”
I immediately look around for any sign of injury, danger or damage. I’m a mom so my head always goes to the worst possible scenario. Jazmine has her hands on her hips and is teary eyed. Dusty is wearing that cold, detached look I have come to know only means trouble.
Not again. Jesus. Can’t these two get along for five minutes? It hurts me, and freaking scares me. I can’t fail at this. Not at motherhood.
“Dusty made fun of my dress. He’s so mean mom. He said no one would like it.”
Her lower lip wobbles as she lightly fidgets with the hem of her frilly pink dress. I stare at her dress and then at back him. I try to let my eyes reflect how disappointed I am in him.
“You know what I can’t deal with this every five seconds. Soon there will be punishments for both of you if you don’t start getting along. Dusty, apologize to your sister so I can finished getting dressed.”
Dusty mumbles some sort of apology. It’s not nearly acceptable, but before I lose it with both of them I walk out of the room. I hear them going at it the moment I'm gone. I can’t even deal with this right now so I just let them go. Long as no one gets hurt them, whatever, let them yell. They’ll get tired eventually.
I throw myself in record time, shoot Dana a reassuring text and try not to think about Alex to be honest. I can’t stress about her right now right now to be honest or I’ll combust. She has Rex at least, for now.
Finally, I am able to get everyone in the freaking car. That feels like a small miracle. I blast
the radio the moment we are inside hoping to prevent a fight from breaking out. I can’t listen to them right now. I will literally fall apart. I haven’t slept much since Logan left. I don’t want to deal with the nightmares alone, so to say my mood is less than pleasant is a bit of an understatement. The volume of the radio silences both of the kids, much to my relief. They don’t fight until we are actually outside of the car, but stop once we get inside the school.
The way the parent teacher meetings are set up at this school is strange. The parents take turns going in, while we wait the parents mingle the kids play on the play on the playground and soccer fields. I hate it, because I’ve never felt like I fit in with the other moms. Well, it’s not just a feeling. I don’t. I mean for starters I am married to Logan Prescott. Once they realized I was not going to talk about our private life or talk about anything they could gossip about later they were not happy. That was strike one. Then they realized I was kind of a bitch, wore t-shirts pretty much 24/7 and didn’t hide the fact that I was constantly stressed out and running late. I was not the ‘celebrity fiance’ they hoped for. Let’s just say I was out of their clic after that. I thought high school was bad. Geesh. You should see elementary school parents. It’s like high school all over again.
Since then my standoffish attitude has only pushed me further out of the loop. Not that I ever really wanted to be in it. Especially once I heard what they were saying behind my back. I immediately hated them then. They didn’t know I was rounding the corner and I heard a group of women, the PTA moms, gossiping about my scars behind my back. It is none of their freaking concern! And how rude to say to make fun of someone’s scars when they have no clue I got them? I cried to Logan that night. That is one of the few things people could say that could actually get to me. Anyway, safe to say I’d never be a designer wearing, wine drinking type of girl. I wanted to stand up to them, to show them why Logan married me, but it was hard enough finding a school I could send Jazmine to without the paparazzi finding out and swarming her. I wouldn’t ruin that just because I was bitter. That’s what I had Logan and Dana for. To vent.
