I stood a little straighter, realizing that for all the charms she’d had, Helen really had no hold on me anymore. “You sign these.” I handed the papers to her.
She opened the envelope and her eyebrows rose. “You want me to sign over all my rights to Scarlett?”
“It’s just the legal form of what you’ve already done. Let her move on. You already have.”
“How about I think it over?” she asked, batting her eyes at me.
Nope, not fucking working.
“How about you get those notarized and then hand them over before you walk in the door tomorrow, or I don’t let you near my daughter.”
“Our daughter,” she corrected.
Hell no. “She ceased being your daughter the moment you walked out on her. Now, if you want to come say goodbye, I’ll give you that. It will be good for Lettie to not spend her life wondering. But those are my conditions.”
We had a wordless battle, staring each other down. But I was stronger than I’d ever been with her—and I thought I’d loved her for being the mother of my child, any trace of that love was gone.
“Fine,” she snapped. “What time?”
“One,” I answered, my chest tight with every emotion it could fit.
“One it is,” she said. “See you then, lover.”
She walked out of the house, and I immediately breathed a little easier. I’d been waiting a year to give her those papers. The process server had tried twice and failed. All I had to do was play it cool and Lettie could be free.
She wouldn’t have to pay for my mistake.
I flexed my hand again, wincing at the pain, and went back out to the yard.
The guys had continued working. We would be done in another hour. But even watching the construction unfold, and Bailey paint her dragon, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just handed Helen the key to my destruction. Before she was harmless—now, she knew that she had something I desperately wanted.
I walked over to Bailey and tugged her to her feet. “Everything okay?” she asked. I hated the fear in her voice. She was already apprehensive about starting anything with me, and I’d just gone and shoved Helen at her.
“Come with me,” I said, leading her to the sliding glass door of the downstairs level.
I closed it behind us once she was inside and found her wringing her hands. “Look...about last night, and what just happened, I would never stand in the way of Lettie’s happiness—”
I shut her up with a kiss, pressing her against the wall. She melted under me, and I took her mouth the way I wanted to take her body at this moment, with long, powerful strokes that had her whimpering. Fuck, I loved that sound.
I kissed her until she grasped at my shirt, until her leg raised so she could rub that insanely perfect pussy against my already hard cock, until her little sounds turned to moans and my hands filled with her ass and one tightly budded breast.
My lips lingered against hers for a moment as I caught my breath and went through the fifteen reasons in my yard that I couldn’t take Bailey upstairs right now and make love to her.
“Don’t ever say that again,” I warned her, making sure she looked straight in my eyes. “You are Lettie’s happiness. You’re my happiness.”
“But Helen…”
“Is nothing. I gave her the papers to sign over her rights to Lettie and told her if she’d sign them, she could come tomorrow. It seemed like a little price to pay.”
Fear ran through her eyes. “What if she won’t?”
I shrugged. “I’ll eventually have to take her to court. But I also don’t want Lettie to always wonder. She’s probably too young to remember this, but at least I’ll know that I did the best I could to give her a goodbye.”
She nodded, “You’re an amazing father.”
I shook my head. “No. An amazing father would have chosen a better mother for her in the first place. I’m just a guy who lucked out getting two of the best girls in the world in my life.” My thumb traced the soft skin of her cheekbone.
“And...us?” she asked, holding her breath.
“That’s up to us,” I answered. “To me, we’re together. I’m not hiding that from anyone unless you tell me I have to. I know since you work for me, it’s kind of a tangled situation, but if that’s an issue, then you’re fired. You can have a one-million-dollar severance package if you want it.”
She laughed with a watery smile. “Gage, I don’t want your money. I don’t care about it, or the hockey, or the fame. I just want you.”
I kissed her softly. “Then you have me.”
The party was in full swing, complete with local actors who had been hired to play the entire Von Trapp family. Except Gretl, of course. That role was played by Lettie.
“I’m so proud of you,” Mom said after we toured Lettie’s castle.
“It’s just a swing set,” I argued.
“No, Gage. I’m proud of you for what you’ve done. What you’ve made of yourself. Look how happy she is,” Mom nodded toward where Lettie ran with the other kids we’d invited, her face lit with unfettered joy.
“She’s amazing,” I said. I’d never known what unconditional love was before they’d placed her in my arms. She’d changed...everything.
“And the way you raise her...Gage, I’ve sat through every one of your hockey games,” she shrugged, “well, the home ones, now, at least. But I’ve never been as proud of you as I am when I see how loved she is, what a tremendous man you’ve become for her.”
“She brings out the best in me.”
“And Bailey?” she asked nonchalantly as she took a sip of her soda.
I wasn’t fooled.
“Yes, Mom. We’re together.”
“Yes!” she nearly squealed.
“Mom!” For fuck’s sake, what was she? Sixteen?
“What? Her mother owes me $50. We’ve had a bet on you guys since you were six.”
“Bailey was four.” I did the math.
“Yep and you were smitten. I’ll admit that I was worried for a while when that two-bit tramp got pregnant with Lettie, but since Scarlett is perfect in every way, I’ll forgive her.”
“Nice, Mom.” I wasn’t sure what I was more shocked by—the fact that mom had a bet going, or that I’d just heard the classiest woman I’d ever met say, “tramp.”
She shrugged, then sighed. “And if it isn’t the two-bit whore, herself.”
I turned to where she was looking and saw Helen walking down the stairs with a giant, ribbon covered box. Followed by—fuck my life…that was Adkins.
In my home.
I slammed into the boards, my body taking the impact as he hit me from behind.
The house I’d had built when he’d been traded to Ontario and took my girlfriend with him. The house I shared with my daughter and Bailey.
My shoulder wretched as came up under my pads, my arm at an unnatural angle.
“Steady,” Rory muttered, putting a hand on my shoulder.
His smile gloated above me as I turned over to my back, and the world fell silent except for the yelling from the coaches, the doctors, the EMTs.
That same smile gloating as Helen took his hand and walked out of my hospital room, leaving my daughter motherless.
This was about to be the shortest visit ever.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Bailey move toward Lettie. We’d prepped her last night that Helen was coming, and though I’d been taking care of Lettie solo for two years, it had felt amazing to have Bailey with me. It felt like I had a partner.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” I didn’t mince words as they reached the ground.
“Nice to see you too, McPherson,” Adkins winked at me.
He fucking winked.
“I didn’t invite you into my house, asshole.”
“No, but you invited my wife, so I came with. After all, Scarlett is my step-daughter.”
Unbridled rage ran through me. “You have no claim on my daughter, asshole. You can put a ring on thi
s pair of open legs, but you’ll never be anything to Lettie besides the guy who purposely took out her father’s shoulder because you were scared of losing your spot.”
“Boys,” Helen tsked. “Gage, I gave the papers to Warren when I walked in. He wouldn’t let me in without them.”
Warren nodded behind her, and I let out a huge sigh of relief. It was over. I just had to make it through this one party, and then I’d never have to deal with her again.
“Thank you,” I said to Helen. “You go near my daughter and I’ll cut your fucking hands off. I’m happy to do the jail time,” I told Adkins.
He put his hands up and then leaned back against the deck supports. “I’ll just wait here.”
“Good idea,” Coach said as he walked over. He slapped my back. “How about I keep him company so you can help Lettie out?”
I nodded my thanks and took off across the yard to where Helen was already approaching Lettie, who was leaned back against Bailey’s legs.
“Hi, Scarlett,” she sang in that super sweet voice I hated. “I’m your mommy.”
I came around the side to flank Bailey, and Lettie reached up for my hand, which I gave without thought. I offered to pick her up but she shook her head and stayed where she was, firmly conformed to the shape of Bailey’s legs.
“I don’t have a mommy.”
Well, if that didn’t break my fucking heart.
Helen’s smile was lost for a millisecond. “Of course you do. Who do you think I am?”
Lettie looked up to Bailey, then me, then back to Helen. “You’re the woman who grew me.”
Bailey’s hands tightened a little on Lettie’s shoulders, no doubt reeling the same way I was.
“Right, and that makes me your mommy,” Helen explained, still standing at her full height so that Lettie had to crane her neck.
“Mommy’s don’t leave,” Lettie said simply with a shake of her head. There was no malice in her voice or judgement, just fact.
“Well…” Helen swallowed. “Don’t you want a mommy?”
Before I could stop that question, Lettie answered.
“I don’t need a mommy. I have a Bailey.”
Bailey blinked rapidly and I wound my unused arm around her. That’s right. We’re a team, and you’re not on it, Helen.
Helen cleared her throat. “Oh, okay. Well, I like your castle,” she said with a smile.
Lettie tilted her head. “I do too. Daddy built it and Bailey painted my dragon. He guards it while I’m away. But it’s not a castle.”
“It’s not?” Helen asked, her brow unfurrowed from how much botox she’d had.
“It’s a fortress.”
God, I loved my daughter.
“Oh, okay,” Helen answered, not understanding that in one statement, my daughter told her everything she needed to know about her personality. She wasn’t a simpering princess, she was a warrior. “Well, I know I only really get to see you this once, so I thought I’d bring something for you to remember me by. Is that okay?”
Lettie nodded solemnly, and Helen handed her the box.
“It’s okay, Lettie-lou,” I said when she looked up at me with questioning eyes.
She pulled the end of the giant pink ribbon until it fell from the box, and then pulled the lid off.
“Are you kidding me?” I snapped when Lettie jumped back. Bailey picked her up, holding her high off the ground.
“What?” Helen asked, taking the kitten out of the box. “I figured she should have something warm and soft to remember me by.”
I turned to where Bailey had her securely in her arms. “Can I get a second alone with Helen, babe?”
She nodded and took Lettie far enough away that we had a semblance of privacy.
“First off, you’re anything but warm and soft.” I stepped in front of Lettie when Helen held the orange cat out to her retreating figure. “Second, if you knew a god damned thing about my daughter, you’d know that she’s deathly allergic to cats. She swells up like a balloon until she can’t breathe.”
Helen blinked. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. Maybe you would have known that if you’d been around, or if you bothered to know her. Get that fucking thing out of here.”
Helen put the cat in the box. “You don’t have to be such an asshole, Gage. How was I supposed to know that she’s allergic to cats? It was an honest mistake. Maybe I could give her a puppy?”
I scoffed. “Yeah, because we’re home enough for that. Jesus, Helen. Lettie travels with me when she can, because unlike you, I can’t stand to be away from her. She’s phenomenal, and you missed it. In that way, I feel sorry for you.”
“Gage, she’s the only child I’ll ever have. I signed your papers, but if you’ll just give me a chance…”
Well, we had that one thing in common—Lettie would be the only child I ever had, too. I’d never put another child through this kind of torture. “Then you should have stayed, or called, or tried to keep any form of contact with her. But you didn’t. You’re too selfish for parenthood, Helen.”
“Well you sure know how to ruin things, don’t you Gage. Did you ever stop to think that I’ve been thinking about this moment since I knew Seattle was on the schedule?” She arched an eyebrow at me.
“It takes a hockey schedule for you to think about her? I’m actually kind of speechless.”
“Well, that’s a first. Why do you think I left you? The constant griping. ‘I’ll never get my shoulder back,’ or ‘can you please change the baby, I only have one arm.’ Your incessant whining was what drove us apart. You were so lost in yourself that you completely ignored our relationship.”
I blinked. “Wow. Well, thanks for enlightening me. I figured you left me because my contract wasn’t a given and Adkins’ was. My bad.”
Her jaw dropped. “You’re an asshole!” she shouted.
“Well aware,” I replied.
Lettie’s tiny hand took mine. Shit. What had she heard?
“I’ve decided that I don’t like you,” Lettie said to Helen, her voice curious, but even. “You’re mean, and Bailey says I have to be nice to mean people because they need it the most, but I don’t like you. You’re not my friend. You’re not my daddy’s friend or my Bailey’s friend, so you shouldn’t be at my party. You make people sad.”
Helen stared at our daughter, paling. “But...don’t you want to get to know me?”
Lettie looked at her long and hard. “You left...and your face doesn’t move when you talk. That’s enough. But thank you for coming to my party.” She annunciated every word as clearly as possible, with a great deal of thought.
And she remembered her manners. Hot damn.
Her little hand squeezed mine tightly, and when I offered my arms, she took them. I lifted her against my chest.
“You’re just like your daddy,” Helen said, sadness radiating from her eyes.
“He’s a badass,” Lettie said with a nod.
I didn’t bother correcting her.
Helen’s face became tight and she forced a smile. “Well, it was nice to see you again, Scarlett. Happy birthday.”
“Thank you,” she tucked her head into my neck and I leaned my head against hers.
Helen pursed her lips, but turned on her heel and left.
Just like that, and I could breathe, could finally take in my first lungful of untainted air since she’d told me she was pregnant. I wasn’t tied to her, and Lettie was free...and mine. Only mine.
“My Bailey!” Lettie said and raced over to see where Bailey was face painting.
Maybe she was Bailey’s too, but that was okay. I liked sharing with Bailey.
My feeling of euphoria lasted through the party, despite the mess of my back yard. I had my daughter free and clear, I had Bailey in my life and my bed, and my starting spot back. Even my hand wasn’t as bad as I’d originally thought yesterday.
“Gage?” Mom called out. “We ran out of ketchup for the burgers. Would you mind grabbing some out of the fridge?”
“What was that for?” She asked.
“For taking care of me when I needed it most,” I answered. I made my way up the stairs, and into the house, where I saw the manilla folder on the dining room table sitting next to a magic marker.
There it was, my freedom.
I picked it up, but the envelope was lighter than it should have been. Panic bloomed in my chest as I turned the envelope over to see two words in dark black magic marker.
“Fuck you.”
The envelope was empty.
She’d taken the papers with her.
Damn it.
Chapter 12
Bailey
The stadium was packed, and despite it being a home game, there was way more red and white jerseys than I liked.
Lettie sat on my lap, twirling a lock of my hair around her tiny finger as her eyes stayed anxiously glued to her daddy on the ice. She didn’t realize how this was the game of the season we’d all been dreading but from the quiet that had settled over her, I knew she could feel the tension.
My muscles were in knots—they had been since Helen had walked in on Lettie’s birthday party with that asshole Adkins. God, I thought Gage would’ve annihilated him if he’d ever set foot on his property, but he’d shocked the hell out of me by showing incredible restraint.
He had done a lot of that lately, shocking me. First, by the number of orgasms he could hand out like candy. Second, the mere fact that he’d crossed that line between us anyway, and lastly, the way he’d reacted to the situation afterward.
I wished that moment of panic hadn’t set in—where the cold fear painted images of him tossing me to the curb since he’d finally gotten a taste of what he’d never had before. The fear of being left with a life without Lettie…without him, shook me to the core.
I knew Gage better than that, of course. We’d been friends for too long and we’d connected on a deeper level…several times that night, for him to do that to me. Perhaps it was because I’d had a front row seat to the bunny parade, but when I’d woken up alone in his bed, and sat there wondering how many others had gone before me…I couldn’t keep the evil thoughts at bay.
Grinder (Seattle Sharks Book 1) Page 11
