by Layla Frost
He’s insane.
And so am I.
Keeping it behind my back, I moved to stand in front of him. “Okay, open your eyes.”
Amused eyes traveled up my body until they reached my face.
“I lied,” I pointed out.
The amusement that’d lit his expression died from one blink to the next. His jaw ticked, his shoulders bunching. “Eden—”
I put my fingers to his lips.
He glanced down then back up before quirking his brow, though he stayed silent.
“I lied a lot. I lied by omission even more. I broke your wine glass that was from a set and there’s no bachelor version to get a replacement from. You’re just SOL now.” Holding out the hem of his tee, I showed him how it unfolded. “I ruined this shirt because I unraveled the thread while you were unraveling my tangled knots.” Pain and regret sliced through me. “And I didn’t trust that once I was unraveled, you’d help me hold all my pieces together, so I tried to end us.”
As I spewed all my truths, a gambit of emotions had gone across Damien’s face, ranging from anger to amusement to tenderness. At the reminder of my breakup attempt, though, his expression hardened, and his body went tight.
“There’s no ending this,” he growled.
“I know, Professor Caine.”
His eyes widened at my words before going hooded. “You’re mine.”
“I know, Professor Caine.”
“Then get your ass over here and kiss me.”
I shook my head. “No.”
His nostrils flared. “Now, Eden.”
“That was a long list of things I’ve done,” I started before pulling the crop from behind my back. “Things I should be punished for.”
“Tonight was…” He shook his head. “Angel, you’ve had a rough one. I’m not—”
“This is who I am. There’s no safe word. No hours of operation or fantasy,” I said, throwing what I could remember of his words back at him. Inhaling deeply, I revealed my last truth. “I’m so insanely in love with you, but I tried to end it because I was scared. I didn’t trust you to take care of me.” Holding out the crop, I smiled. “But now I do.”
His eyes closed as he lowered his head, and I knew in that moment more than any other that night, I made the right choice. My love and my trust weren’t meaningless to him. He appreciated the profoundness of me giving in.
Looking at me through lowered lids, darkness filled his gaze.
Filled him.
And me, too.
“The crop?” he rumbled, slapping it hard against his open palm.
I lifted a shoulder as I licked my suddenly desert-dry lips. “You were right. I love to hate it.”
“Who else do you love?”
“You, Professor Caine. Always and only you.”
“Up on the bed, on your knees, cheek to the mattress, and arms stretched above your head.”
I scrambled to do what he said.
“Pull your panties down to just under your ass.”
Wiggling side to side, I positioned them just so.
“Are they wet?”
“Soaked, Professor Caine.”
He groaned. The bed lowered as he kneeled next to my head. His cock was already hard, pressing against his slacks. Slowly, he unbuttoned and unzipped them before reaching into his boxers to pull his hardness out.
I bit my bottom lip to keep from trying to taste him.
He stroked it with long, leisurely pulls.
I clutched the sheet to keep from touching him.
He leaned closer to touch between my legs, the head of his dick pressing against my lip.
And I opened my mouth immediately so I could swirl my tongue around it.
“You’re going to be punished for that, Miss Wilder,” he rumbled.
“Worth it, Professor Caine,” I shot back.
Moving to stand next to the bed, Damien ordered, “Look the other way.” When I did as he said, he skimmed the crop down my spine. “Thanks to your greedy mouth, you’ll be getting eleven. Don’t count, even in your head.”
“Yes, Professor Caine.”
His name had barely left my lips when the first blow hit, stinging my ass and stealing my breath.
Holy shit.
I asked for this.
Why did I ask for this?
“Trust me,” he whispered.
Right. Trust. Okay. Sure.
I can do this.
The next swing connected on a different spot, lighter than the first. The sting faded, leaving a warm burn in its place.
Another landed, hard and sharp.
Each nerve ending and receptor in my skin came alive, making me hyperaware of every sensation.
The leather strap of the crop ran between my legs, pressing against my clit then twirling around my pussy.
“Soaked,” Damien murmured, more to himself than me before the crop slapped across my upper thighs.
Sharp pain.
Dull burning.
Like lightning followed by thunder, each blow followed the same pattern.
Sharp pain.
Dull burning.
Pleasurable touches.
Sharp pain.
Dull burning.
Pleasurable touches.
Lightning.
Thunder.
A storm on the brink of exploding.
Each sensation got closer until they blended, rolling into one another until I couldn’t tell what hurt and what felt mind-blowingly good. I didn’t even try to separate them.
I was lost in the storm.
Damien filled me suddenly, nearly taking me off my knees had he not been holding my hips. Planting himself deep, he shifted his pelvis so the coarse hairs covering it scrapped against my raw ass.
I hissed out a curse, but I didn’t move.
“Fucking exquisite,” he praised.
Thrusting fast, he threw me over the edge his crop-wielding had taken me to. My body pulsed and constricted around him, each burst of pleasure launching me farther into bliss.
Damien slid out before rolling me onto my back and covering my body with his. I wrapped my legs around his thighs as he slammed in, lifting my ass off the bed.
In our previous times together, my body had wanted to give in, but my mind had fought against it.
That time, as he rocked into me, my body and mind were cohesive in my surrender.
I’d handed Damien my strings, my trust, my heart. There was nothing for me to do but feel and hear and take what he gave, knowing he’d make it good.
His low groans and harsh grunts.
My short gasps and soft moans.
The bed’s squeaks and slams—protests of an inanimate object against the rough force.
Possessive whispers. Breathless sighs. Growled orders. Mindless chants.
Threats mixed with pleas mixed with desperation—the trifecta of the dysfunctional.
A cacophony of erotic chaos.
My favorite song.
When my release tore through me again, Damien was right there, filling me. Cursing me.
Worshipping me.
Loving me.
Spent, my legs dropped to the side, though Damien stayed planted between them. Tears stung my eyes, though I wasn’t sure if it was from the profoundness of what’d happened, the pain of my tender ass, or the feeling of protection that came from his body surrounding mine so completely.
Likely, it was all three.
Mindful of the second one, Damien slid free and moved off me. Pulling me into his lap, he carefully positioned me with my ass cheeks between his spread thighs. The smell of vanilla filled the air as he applied the cream, soothing the burn. His cock twitched and jerked against me.
“You’re insane,” I whispered, burrowing closer.
“And you love it.”
“I really do.”
We stayed like that for a while, my mind still floating somewhere beyond self-deprecation, judgement, and doubt. Beyond the voices of reason and ridicule.
/> I’m free.
The thought hit me out of nowhere, and I inhaled. Easily. Deeply.
Unburdened by the layers of stress, guilt, and lies. There was no more deceit, even to myself.
Especially not to myself.
I didn’t have to deny the dark desires that’d lurked in my mind, coming out only in my reading and my fantasies.
As time passed, I may have reached that same point on my own. I’d been working hard to give myself a good life, it stood to reason that it would include me eventually becoming more comfortable and confident with what I enjoyed.
Or maybe not.
There was no reason to dwell on the what-ifs and could’ve beens because they didn’t matter.
I didn’t need to go it alone anymore.
Bolting up, I pushed Damien’s shoulders hard. I was pretty certain he only went back because he was curious, not because I’d actually overpowered him. I straddled him and grinned. “Why don’t you want me to count?”
“It makes you think, taking you out of it. When you don’t, your mind quiets.” He smirked. “For once.”
“I love you.”
His smirk grew to a beautiful smile as he reached up to curl his hand along the side of my neck, his thumb stroking my jaw. “I love you, too.”
“How’d you take the job for us?”
He hesitated before pointing out, “Even once this semester ends, we’d have had to keep things quiet. If you go for your masters—which you should—you’d be in one of my classes again.”
I’d focused so much on just getting through the semester, I hadn’t stopped to really think beyond that.
“I’m sick of sneaking around, angel,” he said. “I don’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion, but you do. Two years is too damn long to waste pretending, so I accepted the campaign manager position Dave’s been begging me to take. It’s not really my thing, but he wants me and has refused to hire anyone else. If he wins, I’ll stay on as Chief of Staff, which is my thing.”
“You didn’t get me the internship?”
He kissed my palm and then pressed it to his chest. “Swear it. Dave’s been planning this run since he was kid. I might not have cared about student council, but he lived and breathed it. He wouldn’t have hired you if you weren’t right for it.”
“You know him,” I surmised by his familiarity.
He gave me an unreadable look. “We were college roommates.” His expression made more sense when he continued. “That first night at Sinners, I was there for his bachelor party.”
Oh God.
He saw me dance.
My face burned, my voice frantic as I asked, “Does he know that was me?”
“No,” he bit out.
Thank Thor for small miracles.
Another depressing thought occurred to me. “Is his nice guy thing an act, and he’s got a wandering eye and a perpetually broken zipper?”
Damien looked exasperated. “Christ, Eden. I told you not every guy is like that. His asshole colleague planned it as a surprise and Minnie knew where we were going. She thought it was hilarious, so she’s the one who set it up for us to be in the far corner out of sight and have so many security guards around, blocking people’s view. And he and I barely stayed an hour.”
My focus had been so centered around Damien, I hadn’t even noticed.
“Wait. Min is his fiancée?” My cheeks were on fire. “No wonder she thought it was funny I was so confident he’d win.”
“You’re right, he will.”
Falling forward, I put my forehead to his chest and whispered, “Are you sure you won’t regret your decision and then resent me until you hate me?”
My head bounced, and it took me a few beats to realize it was because Damien was silently laughing. I sat up and glared at him, but that only made his laughter turn unsilent.
It’s a good thing he’s mine because even though he’s laughing at me, he’s got a good laugh and he looks amazing when he does it.
“I could never hate you,” he said vehemently, “and I’d never regret this. Even if the job is awful, being able to be with you would make it the best.” He hauled me up his body. “Told you, my depraved angel, you can lead me to hell, but as long as I keep getting glimpses of your heaven, I’ll happily follow.”
He kissed me hard and fast, leaving me needing more.
Addicted to it.
Chapter Thirty
* * *
Dysfunctional
Eden
“Before you all run out of here like the room is on fire…”
Oh shit.
This is it.
Since our blowup the week before, Damien and I had been even better than before. Trusting him—trusting us—took everything to a different level. And not just the sex, though that was awesome, too. But our relationship itself was stronger.
Without all the weight on my shoulders, I was stressing less, sleeping better, and feeling happier. I was able to think beyond just surviving the immediate future.
My plans included things other than work, school, and desperate attempts at sleep.
Damien planned for more than I did, and all of it was with me by his side.
Or under him.
In front of him.
On top of him.
Whatever.
As he stood in front of the class, he was about to take a big step closer to those plans.
“I wanted to let you all know that I will be leaving after this semester,” he announced. There was a smattering of groans and gasps followed by a rush of speculation-laden whispers. “For those of you who would have been in one of my other courses,” he raised a brow, “or taking this one again, Professor Peters is already conducting interviews and will have a replacement for me soon.”
A girl in the front row raised her hand. When he lifted his chin at her, she asked, “Are you going to be teaching somewhere else?”
Imagine the influx of transfer requests if he was.
Damien scanned the class casually, but paused on me for a second as he shook his head. “I was lucky enough to have a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I’m not stupid enough to let it slip through my fingers.”
Hiding my smile, I lowered my head and began packing my bag.
“I’ve got papers to hand back and then you’re free to go,” he announced.
A few more people asked questions that he answered. It wasn’t until something was set on my desk that I looked up.
A wrinkled paper.
I looked around to see most of the papers were crumbled in places, some even torn.
He fucked me on these papers.
No, actually, to be more specific…
He fucked my ass on these papers.
My eyes shot to where he sat at his desk. A wicked smirk curled his lips as he slowly reached under the desk. I couldn’t see to know for certain, but I’d bet money he was adjusting his hard-on.
He’s insane.
Dysfunctional.
All sorts of wrong.
And I love him.
Epilogue
* * *
Three months later
Damien
“I’m trying to work,” Eden insisted, though she tilted her neck to the side to give me more access.
Licking along the sensitive skin, I bit down. “It’ll still be there in a few minutes.”
Or hours.
Sitting on the kitchen island with her laptop on her crossed legs, she leaned back into me before catching herself and pulling away. “This is why I wanted to enroll in an actual school and not online classes. I knew you’d distract me.”
It’d only been a matter of time before people discovered Eden and I were together. Surprisingly, Crosby had kept his mouth shut, which meant I’d grudgingly accepted his continued friendship with Eden. Word got out after a few of my former students had spotted us in the background of a press conference Dave was holding. It could’ve been easily explained… had my hand not been noticeably on her ass.
; When she’d gone to class, the news had already spread like wildfire, including screenshots.
Since I was no longer employed by the school, there’d been little they could do besides question her and threaten repercussions if there was perceived favoritism or preferential treatment. I hadn’t wanted her dealing with any of that, and neither had Peters. At his recommendation, he’d stalled any investigation until Eden had transferred to a different college’s online program.
What a former professor and a former student did was none of their business.
I’d hated that she’d suffered because I hadn’t been able to keep my hands off her, but she’d sworn she preferred the online courses. They’d allowed her to be more involved in Dave’s campaign as it picked up steam. She’d been invaluable, and it wasn’t just my biased opinion who thought so.
I walked around the island. “Everyone deserves a break.”
“I’m already running behind because you sexually manipulated me up to bed last night.”
“We had to celebrate you moving in.”
Her expression warmed. “I’ve been living here for months.”
“But now it’s official. Your name is off the lease at the slum, all your stuff is here—”
“Yup, all four boxes,” she muttered.
I moved to stand in front of her, dipping my face close. “And now you’re all mine.”
She set the laptop to the side and wrapped her legs around my hips. “I’ve always been yours.” She pressed soft kisses against my jaw.
“If you’re wanting to work, you’d better stop.”
Shrugging, she looked up at me, wide eyed and so damn beautiful, it hurt. “It’ll still be there in a few minutes, Professor Caine.”
Gripping her ass, I lifted her, intent on carrying her upstairs.
“Wait,” she said, grinning mischievously at me.
So. Fucking. Beautiful.
“How about a late lunch?” she whispered.
I groaned as I dropped her onto the island, tugging her shorts and panties off before leaning in to enjoy my favorite meal.
Looking up her body, her head hanging back as she bucked against me, the light from the window hit her just right to make her hair glow.
My depraved angel has a halo.
