by Mia Carson
She cried out, and he sat up to hold her against him. As she moved her hips against his, finding a steady rhythm, Viktor was completely taken in by her eyes with their shifting browns and ambers that only brightened when she was aroused. He’d noticed it throughout the night, a fire filling her from the inside out and stoked to life by him.
Once upon a time, he’d believed in finding a true and lasting love, but that disappeared when he threw Mary out the front door. But as he moved within Evelyn and she gripped his shoulders, holding his gaze steady, their heaving breaths mingling between them, he couldn’t simply dismiss what grew from their lovemaking.
As he swelled within her and she dug her nails into his shoulders, biting her lip on a cry, he felt her muscles quivering, and then cupped her cheek and kissed her. He took in her cries of pleasure, and he groaned with her, lost to the night of passion they found themselves wrapped in. He didn’t want the sun to come up the next morning, didn’t want this night to end. Tonight was perfect with Evelyn in his arms, breathing heavily against him as her body trembled from another intense orgasm tearing their very souls apart before they put each other back together with gentle kisses and the beautiful laughter he never wanted to stop hearing.
They didn’t talk the rest of the night; they didn’t need to. Viktor was comfortable and content, and the way Evelyn curled into him while she slept told him that despite her fears before, she trusted him as much as he did her.
He brushed her hair back from the soft curves of her face and kissed her forehead, his face screwed up in thought. “Damn it, Evie. What did you go and do to me?”
***
Arms were wrapped snugly around her and a leg was tangled between hers when she woke, her eyes blinking open in the predawn light. The house was cold, so she burrowed back under the covers and closer to Viktor’s heat. She settled in, ready to fall asleep again, when she remembered everything that had happened last night and her eyes shot open.
They had sex. She and Viktor had sex last night, and not just once. Quite a few times, something her sore muscles enjoyed reminding her of. Being in his arms had been magical, near perfect, and… God, why the hell had she done it? They weren’t supposed to sleep together!
Careful not to wake him as her heart pounded in her chest, she slipped out from his arms, her stomach tightening when he frowned and tried to pull her back to him in his sleep. But she needed to get up and understand what happened and what this could mean for them both. Sex had not been part of the arrangement—not even close—but they’d kissed and there were no hives, and his touch was perfect, every bit of what he did last night was perfect. For the first time in years, she slept soundly and the horrible memories that usually haunted her were a distant echo.
He’d even told her about his heartbreak last night, and she had seen the pain etched in the lines of his face before they’d made love again. Made love? The words passing through her mind froze her feet. No, that wasn’t possible, not this fast!
She grabbed her sweats and tennis shoes quietly from the closet and hurried to the bathroom to dress. A run through the cold morning air would help clear her head and figure out what her next move should be. She’d been ready to dive in headfirst with the contract and have all her financial woes taken care of and be set for life. The idea of being a mom gave her that extra push to agree to something like this, but they weren’t supposed to have a real relationship. So why the hell did she wake with the man in her bed? A man whose heart had been shattered once before.
Her mind racing, she left Viktor a quick note on her pillow and ran out the front door, taking off down the sidewalk. It was colder than she’d thought, and her face was soon numb and her fingertips along with it, but the cold did little to clear her mind. Her teeth chattering refused to let her mind focus enough to get anywhere with her thoughts, and all she could think of was how badly this was going to end.
Though she might not have broken out in hives last night, there were still issues she had yet to overcome. She’d never been in a steady relationship. How could she think the first one she had would end with a happily ever after?
Before long, her feet pounded up the sidewalk to the apartment complex Ajay lived in and she banged on his front door, having left her keys at home. “Ajay! Come on, I know you’re home! Wake up, damn it!”
She heard him yell inside and something hit the floor followed by more cursing. The deadbolt clicked, and he yanked the door open. “Evie? What the hell? It’s not even six in the morning.”
Evelyn opened her mouth to say something—anything—but the tears came, and she fell into her best friend’s arms, blubbering about ruining Viktor’s life and screwing everything up like she always knew she would. He held her tightly and pulled her in from the cold, closing the door.
“Take a breath,” he said sternly, gripping her shoulders and giving her a stern look. “Evelyn, just calm down. Let me make a pot of coffee, and you can tell me what you’re rambling on about.”
She nodded and wiped her nose on her sleeve until he tossed a box of tissues at her. “Thanks,” she muttered and followed him into the small apartment. He puttered around the kitchen, grumbling about lack of sleep and crazy sisters as he got a pot of coffee going, and she hopped up on the counter. When she closed her eyes for a second to catch her breath, she pictured Viktor standing beside her as he had last night, and the tears started all over again.
God, what is wrong with me? She never cried like this—ever—and she was ready to flood Ajay’s apartment.
From the worried glance he gave her, he thought the same thing. “Evelyn, what’s going on? There something you’re not telling me about this boyfriend?”
“Don’t get mad,” she said quickly, wiping her eyes and nose again.
Ajay crossed his arms over his chest. “Really? That’s how you’re going to start this conversation? Telling me not to get mad?”
She shrugged sheepishly. “Let me tell you everything and then you can go postal as much as you want, but I have to get this off my chest first, so don’t interrupt,” she warned, pointing the tissue box at him.
He held up three fingers in promise and motioned for her to go on as he pulled coffee mugs down from the cabinet nearby and set out the sugar canister for her. Evelyn took a deep breath and told him everything about the letters she found and about calling Viktor innocently enough to tell him the woman died. Ajay shifted when she said that she’d be willing to discuss the same deal and Viktor agreed. She told him about their coffee together and how she felt strange around him—but a good strange—and while she spoke, she watched Ajay’s face range from annoyance, to anger, to confusion.
“And you know that thing that happens when I get too close?” she muttered, taking a breath.
“Yeah, I do,” he said, sounding unsure.
“Well, it happened the first night, when I accidentally told him all about what had happened, but last night… Well, something happened, and now, I don’t know what to do.”
His nostrils flared as he pursed his lips. “Something happened… Evelyn, did you sleep with this guy?”
“You don’t have to make it sound so terrible,” she defended loudly. “It wasn’t bad, actually, quite nice and no hives, and I think I’m falling for him—”
“Stop, just stop,” he muttered. “I really don’t need to hear about your sex life. I’m happy you have one now, don’t get me wrong, but just… no.” He sighed, glaring into his coffee mug. “You’re worried about the contract, having his baby?”
She nodded, dumping more sugar than normal into her coffee as if it would help soothe the panic rising in her.
“Evelyn, did you think that maybe you should forget the contract and just try to date the guy normally? Would it really be that bad? I mean, this is the first guy you’ve ever been comfortable around,” he reasoned. “Why not run with it?”
“I thought about it,” she told him, “but he’s been engaged before and it ended badly, like enough to make him decide to d
o this contract deal instead of finding someone he wanted to be with.”
“That was before you two slept together,” Ajay pointed out. “You didn’t even talk to him about this, did you?” Cringing, she shook her head and he sighed even louder. “Jesus, Evelyn, did you just leave him at your house this morning?”
“What was I supposed to do? Wake him up and cry on his shoulder about how horrible my life was?” she snapped. “I mean, look at me, Ajay. I’m a mess most days. I’m barely hanging onto my sanity despite what everyone else believes, and I can’t have a normal relationship! What if I screw it up? What if I break his heart and this time… this time, it’s for good?” She stirred her coffee as another tear slipped down her cheek. “What if I break him beyond repair? I’m already broken. I don’t want to drag him down with me.”
Ajay set his mug down and crossed the small galley kitchen to her as she held her face in her hands. She wanted to do so much with her life—open a home for foster kids, make a difference—but she never got anywhere. Something was always there to kick her back down. And this offer with Viktor taking care of her… She knew it was too good to be true.
She didn’t know how to function with someone else, and she certainly wasn’t good at being taken care of. She was too used to fighting tooth and nail for everything she had and not letting anyone get under her skin, but Viktor managed to do it in less than a week. He wanted to take care of her. She saw it in his eyes last night as they made love.
“Look at me,” Ajay told her gently, pulling her hands from her face. “And stop crying. You need to talk to him, Evelyn, tell him the truth.”
“What truth? That I’m a messed up woman who is always going to be messed up no matter how much he spoils me?”
Ajay smirked. “No, but you can tell him you want to try an actual relationship. And you’re not messed up,” he told her sternly. “Shit happened to you, and you got through it the best way you could. You’re doing a hell of a lot better than you were five years ago.”
He was right about that, but fear of failing in the relationship and destroying Viktor’s dreams again overwhelmed her. There were very few people she cared for in her life, and Viktor, she realized, was one of them. If she were braver, she would do what Ajay said, but her life had gone wrong in so many ways that she didn’t think she could have what everyone else did.
“I think I should head home,” she told Ajay after a while.
“And I’m assuming you don’t want me to tell Mom any of this?”
She smacked his arm. “God, no. The last thing I need is her showing up at the house to lecture me about giving her a grandchild that way.”
Ajay turned away, shaking his head as she hopped off the counter. “I hope you know what you’re doing or Viktor realizes what he’ll lose if you walk away.”
She paused on her way to the front door. “What do you mean?”
“How many women in your position would be honest enough to back out of a deal where they’d never have to pay for anything again?” he said. “Just saying. If he’s with you, at least he has a chance at happiness.”
“Yeah, until I freak out and destroy it,” she said bitterly, turning for the door and heading out before Ajay could say anything else.
***
Viktor’s arm stretched out across the bed to find it empty and cold. He opened his eyes and sat up quickly, wondering where Evelyn had gone. It couldn’t be that late, and he knew she didn’t have to go to work until later.
“Evie?” he called out, but silence answered him.
Wondering where she could’ve gone, he turned to find a note on her pillow. It said she went for a jog and would be back soon, so he found his clothes and went to shower, fumbling through the jumbled thoughts in his mind. As the water heated—barely—he grinned, flexing muscles not used in years and remembering the feel of her beneath his body, her lips on his, and her hands tracing paths of fire across his chest. He had enough nail marks to know she’d had as good a time as he did.
Too bad she wasn’t still in bed. He would’ve shown her the best way to wake up in the morning.
The night was better than perfect, and though at first he’d had his doubts about crossing the line, the longer she was in his arms, the more he knew the line didn’t matter. Evelyn being in his arms was right, screw the damn contract. He didn’t give a shit about it anymore. All he wanted was Evie, and he would do whatever it took to convince her of that.
Never did he think he’d actually find a woman he wanted to be with again, not after Mary destroyed him, but she needed a chance to be rescued just as he needed a chance to heal and move on. He got out of the shower, dried, dressed, and stalked to the kitchen. He dug through the drawer for the contract. The second she got back, he’d tear it up and ask her to go on a real date with him.
He wanted to explore who they could be together without the idea of a signed contract hanging over them. When he found it, he laid it on the kitchen counter and set about making breakfast. He wasn’t sure how long she’d been gone, but she wouldn’t go too far in the cold.
As he scrambled eggs and fried bacon, he couldn’t stifle a grin as he thought about her being with him officially instead of trying to trick everyone. Without the stress of acting, he might be able to introduce her to his family sooner rather than later and get them off his back for good about the settling down issue.
Evelyn entranced him with her stubbornness and sultry kisses, her bravery for making it through the horrors of her life. She came out stronger than most would, strong enough to deal with a man who built walls so high around his heart, he wasn’t sure it would ever see the light of day again. And she’d chipped away at them bit by bit until they crumbled.
He paused in stirring the eggs as the realization hit him hard, clenching his gut and making his heart thud loudly in his chest. He was falling for her, and falling hard.
A knock sounded at the front door, pulling him from his flaring emotions, and he hurried to answer it, smirking at Evelyn when he found her on the doorstep. “Did you forget your keys?” he asked and stepped aside to let her in. She stomped past him, knocking the bit of snow from her shoes.
“Yeah, glad you’re awake,” she said but didn’t meet his eyes.
Viktor closed the door behind her and leaned against it. “Evie, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she muttered, kicking off her shoes. “Cold.”
“Bullshit,” he said, and she whipped around to stare at him. “It’s about last night, isn’t it?” He didn’t want to sound sad that she hadn’t enjoyed it as much as he did, but he knew that wasn’t the case. She’d had the time of her life in his arms, had cried out his name more times than he could count, and he saw the same desire and budding love in those brown and amber depths that consumed him.
She puffed out her cheeks, tugging on her long braid of hair in the way that always made him want to take her hands away so he could do it instead, feeling the silky strands run through his fingers.
“Viktor, I don’t think… I can’t… God, I can’t do this,” she whispered, sucking in a deep breath.
His heart fell, but he didn’t move from the door. “Why not?” The question came out hoarse, and he cleared his throat. “Evie?”
“Listen, as great as last night was, it wasn’t what was meant to happen,” she said, and he could tell she’d rehearsed the words on her way back to the house. “I’m not the woman you think I can be, not for your family, and certainly not good enough for you.”
“Says who? You? Evelyn, you’re better than you think you are,” he insisted and reached out a hand for her, but she took a quick step back. He ground his teeth, rubbing the hand over his face instead. “Last night was not a mistake. We can sit down and talk about it.”
“No,” she said and took another step back. “We can’t. I’ve made up my mind. I can’t do this contract with you, and I can’t… I wouldn’t be good for you so just please… please leave.” She turned her back on him, her head hanging, and V
iktor took a step towards her, ready to wrap her in his arms and kiss away her doubts, her fears of being with him.
His hands barely touched her shoulders, but she pulled roughly away from him. “Evie, please, just talk to me for a minute. You can’t just kick me out of your life so easily.”
“Says who?” she mumbled and sniffed hard, raising a hand to wipe her face.
“Says me, damn it,” he grunted, rubbing the back of his neck. “We haven’t even given this a shot yet. Give it time and you’ll see that—”
“That what?” she snapped, whipping around. “That I was right and I’ll never fit into your life the way you want? I can’t change Viktor, and I won’t change my mind about making you leave.” The amber in her eyes flared with hurt and anger, but he sensed it was not directed at him, not all of it.
He reached out again, but she took another step back and raised her hands. “Fine,” he muttered darkly. “Fine, but you are making a mistake, Evie.” His arms fell to his sides, and he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ll get my things and be on my way,” he said gruffly.
She nodded stiffly, not meeting his gaze. She tugged hard on her braid and stepped to the side. “And the furniture. I don’t expect anything from you,” she told him.
The walls she’d shattered so easily started to rebuild themselves as he walked past her towards the bedroom. “No, you keep it. I picked it out for you,” he told her. “Think of it as a gift from a friend, if nothing else.”
He gathered the clothes he’d brought, slamming them into his duffel as he tried to find the words to convince her she was wrong, but they wouldn’t come. Confusion consumed him until he could barely see straight, and he left the bedroom and headed for the front door. Evelyn was curled up in the over-sized chair, clutching one of the polar bear pillows to her chest. He gripped his bag tighter, his mouth opening to speak, but still, no words came. Not wanting to cause her anymore distress, he left, closing the front door softly behind him.
