by Susan Cliff
Damn. She was so hot.
As soon as he felt her inner muscles flutter around him, he was lost. He crushed his mouth over hers to swallow her scream. Then he thrust twice more and came hard, his body quaking from the power of the release.
It occurred to him, while he was collapsed on top of her, that he hadn’t pulled out. He’d meant to, but he’d been so caught up in getting her off that he’d forgotten to take the most basic step toward prevention.
He couldn’t believe it. He removed himself clumsily, stunned by the mental lapse. “I came inside you.”
“I know.”
He did a quick countdown in his head. She’d had her period two weeks ago. “Is this a bad time?”
“We’re probably okay. I have irregular cycles.”
He wasn’t an expert in the rhythm method, having never failed to use protection before. He had the vague idea that it was unreliable. Kind of like pulling out. He rolled off her and watched as she went to rinse away his semen in the gentle surf. The idea of her belly growing round with his child might have appealed to him under any other circumstances. But the thought of it happening here, away from the safeguards of modern medicine, terrified him. He’d seen women die in labor before.
He buttoned up his pants. “We can’t do that again.”
She glanced over her shoulder at him, her expression wary.
He swallowed hard, rising to his feet. “We can’t... I can’t touch you anymore. Not the way I have been.”
“Why not?”
He gestured to the rock they’d just christened. “Because this is going to keep happening. Obviously I can’t resist you.”
“Resist me? I didn’t twist your arm, Logan.”
“No, you didn’t.” She’d twisted something a little lower. He cleared his throat, flushing. “I take full responsibility for the mistake.”
She rolled her eyes heavenward. “Please. I was an equal partner and then some.”
He threw his hands in the air. “Well, I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry, all right,” she said under her breath.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you waited until after we had sex to decide it was a bad idea. When your dick was hard, it was all good.”
“I tried—”
“You tried what? To stop? To talk me out of it? You chased me, threw me down like a caveman and gave me a screaming orgasm.”
“You wanted it like that.”
“We both did.”
He couldn’t argue there. He didn’t know why they were arguing at all. They’d been getting along great before that sex bomb had gone off. Now they were back to square one. He still wanted to be with her. They just couldn’t be together physically.
She brushed by him, her arms crossed over her bare breasts.
He felt a surge of helpless frustration. Didn’t she understand that he was trying to protect her by keeping his hands off? Didn’t she know that he couldn’t resist making love to her because he’d fallen in love with her?
Maybe she didn’t know. Maybe he should tell her.
He reached out to grasp her wrist. “Cady, wait—”
She skirted around him and stepped into one of the shallow tide pools near the shore. With a sharp cry of pain, she stumbled sideways and sat down, her face frozen. She clutched her right foot. In the shallow pool, a stone moved.
Not a stone. A stonefish.
His heart wrenched at the sight. “Oh my God,” he said, lifting her into his arms. “What can I do?”
“Hot water,” she said through stiff lips. “Soak it.”
He carried her to the shelter as fast as he could, his blood pumping with adrenaline. When he set her down by the fire pit, her foot had swollen twice its size, and her breathing had slowed to a dangerous rate. He filled the turtle shell with water and added wood to the fire. By the time he returned to her side, she was unconscious.
Chapter 18
Cady woke up screaming.
Intense pain radiated from the sole of her foot to the top of her thigh. It struck in sickening waves, creating an endless loop of agony. She felt like her skin was melting off the bone. Her foot was grossly swollen, wrapped in rags. Something was wrong with her brain, too. It was as if she’d taken psychedelic drugs. Reality was warped beyond recognition. Her thoughts were sluggish, her vision blurred. Logan held her arms in a tight grip, restricting her movement. She screamed until she passed out.
When she came to again, he was tying a hot rag around her foot. She tried to kick free, but he held strong. The scalding heat penetrated her skin, stealing her breath away. She couldn’t seem to get enough air. Her entire body ached, and her throat was raw.
“What happened?” she croaked.
“You got stung by a stonefish.”
Oh my God. She collapsed on her side, sobbing. Flames licked the night sky and palm trees bent forward, rubber-like, before snapping back again. Her stomach twisted, as if an electric eel had taken residence inside her. She vomited on the sand several times. No eels, just bile. He wiped her face with a wet cloth and moved the grass mat away from the bile. Then he lay down and drew her into his arms.
“Help me,” she said.
“I will.”
“I need to go to the hospital.”
“I know.”
“When are we leaving?”
“Soon.”
Although she suspected that was a lie, she didn’t argue. She alternated between thrashing around and moaning weakly. Hallucinations plagued her. Sometimes everything went black, and she could rest. Sometimes it was a carnival of pain and nausea, swirling like an untied parasail. She closed her eyes and prayed for oblivion.
Her dreams were no solace, because they were littered with monsters. Tree monsters that pelted her with breadfruit and captured her in their branches. Fire monsters that exploded out of a volcano and ate souls. She fled across the burning lava, only to end up on a pirate ship. Pirates made her walk the plank with blistered feet. Then she was forced to dance across hot coals. She was burned at a stake while Logan watched, his hands tied behind his back.
They finally escaped the pirates somehow and ended up lost at sea again. She was sitting in the inflatable raft, soaked in sweat, her belly round and legs splayed. Labor pains ripped through her abdomen. Logan knelt between her thighs and told her to push. With a strangled cry, she delivered the baby in a wet gush.
He cradled the squirming lump to his chest, but it wasn’t a baby. It was a stonefish. His body jerked as the powerful sting went straight to his heart. He dropped the fish and careened overboard, dead in the water.
She woke with a start. She was alone in the shelter. Sunlight filtered between the cracks in the weaving. Her T-shirt stuck damply to her skin.
She studied her injured foot, which was wrapped in a strip of towel. The swelling had gone away. She pressed against the tender spot with her fingertips. It felt sore, like a bruise. She had a mild headache and a scratchy throat. Otherwise, she was okay.
She crawled off the pallet and peered out the entrance. Logan set a bucket of water down in the shade nearby. She emerged from the shelter, wincing at the bright sky.
“You’re awake,” he said, examining her.
“I’m thirsty.”
He brought her a cup of water and a fresh banana. They sat in the shade together. She drank sips of water and ate half the banana, studying his face. He looked tired, even haggard. His jaw was shadowed with stubble, his hair was disheveled and he had a dark bruise on his cheekbone. Her heart did a little flip inside her chest anyway, because he was still handsome, and she was hopelessly in love with him.
“I guess you’re feeling better,” he said.
“Much.”
“Do you remember what happened?�
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She nodded. She remembered the outfit she’d made, the dinner they’d shared, the dizzying eroticism of the chase and capture, and the amazing sex they’d had on a rock by the tide pools. Then he’d ruined it by voicing his regrets, and she’d stepped on a stonefish in a fit of pique. “How long was I out?”
“Two days. You were unconscious about half the time, delirious the other.”
“Did I give you that shiner?”
“You did.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s nothing,” he said, clearing his throat. He met her gaze and held it. “I thought you were going to die.”
She knew how that felt. Her chest tightened, and her eyes watered with emotion. She took a deep breath, blinking away the tears. “Never a dull moment around here.”
“I shouldn’t have touched you.”
“Not that again.”
He glanced at the waves, frowning. He seemed to be searching for the right words to apologize for rocking her world.
“It was a freak accident,” she said.
“You got stung because of me.”
“It wasn’t because of you. Even if it happened while you were on top of me, it wouldn’t have been your fault.”
Color suffused his neck, as if he’d already pictured that scenario. She knew he felt responsible for her safety. He felt responsible for her kidnapping, and everything else. There was a new strain in his features, as if the past two days had aged him. Her illness must have really thrown him for a loop. The timing of the sting was disturbing, she had to admit. She’d been writhing in ecstasy one minute, doubled over in pain the next.
“I got stung because I wasn’t watching where I was going, and stonefish look like stones. You didn’t cause the injury.”
“You were angry with me.”
“Do you really want to rehash that?”
“I think we should talk about it, when you’re well enough.”
“I feel fine,” she said, finishing the banana. She didn’t want to have this conversation. It stirred up her anxiety, and she was still rattled by the nightmares. Now that she was lucid, she had to consider the consequences of their actions. Cadence Crenshaw, who always played it safe, had engaged in some incredibly risky behavior. She was going to spend the next few weeks with her fingers and her legs crossed. “I know we made a mistake. I won’t try to jump on you again, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“You didn’t jump on me. I jumped on you.”
“I started it.”
“And I ended it. Badly.”
“We were both wrong.”
“I’m the one who came inside you.”
Her cheeks heated at the memory, but she pushed it aside. “I was upset about what you said, not what you did. It reminded me of something that happened with Andrew.”
His brows drew together. “You had unprotected sex with Andrew?”
“No. We slept together once after he cheated.”
“Why?”
She sifted sand through her fingertips, contemplative. “I don’t know. I went to his apartment to get the last of my stuff. He was there, and... I wasn’t going to take him back, but I still had feelings for him. I guess I wanted him to choose me over her.”
“Did he?”
She shook her head. “As soon as it was over, he said he’d made a mistake and rushed me out the door.”
Logan made a grunting sound, low in his throat. “Is he still with her?”
“No. She found out about his slipup with me and dumped him on the reality show. They competed against each other in the finale. She won. Then he started texting me again, saying he was sorry.”
“What an asshole.”
“Yeah,” she said, but the memory caused no pain. A few months ago, it was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. Now it seemed like a lucky break. Maybe she’d never really been in love with Andrew. Her feelings for Logan were so much stronger. “Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend?”
“No.”
“I guess it’s easier when you don’t have steady girlfriends.”
He reached out to hold her hand. Then he brought her knuckles to his lips. “When we get back to the US, I want you to be my girlfriend.”
She pulled away from him. “I don’t think we should make plans.”
“Why not?”
“You got bit by a shark this week. I got stung by a stonefish. This island makes its own plans.”
His eyes darkened at her claim. “This island isn’t in charge. We are. We’ve come this far, and we’re going to find a way home.”
She wanted to believe him. It was herself she doubted, more than him. When they’d arrived here, she’d been at a low point. She’d been uprooted from her job and her home. She’d faced an uncertain future. The trauma of the kidnapping and being lost at sea had diminished her further. She’d felt weak and helpless.
She was a different person now. Her heart had healed well enough to love again. Her body was toned, her feet tough. She was stronger than she’d ever been, but she’d never be as brave or as optimistic as he was. She couldn’t shake her feelings of dread.
“I had a dream that you died,” she said.
“Me? I’m indestructible.”
“We were in the raft, and I was...in labor.”
His expression changed, revealing an emotion she hadn’t seen before. It took her a few seconds to recognize it as fear. Apparently the thought of her having his baby was the one thing that truly scared him.
“I gave birth to a stonefish, and it stung you in the chest.”
He schooled his features into a blank mask. “Was it a boy stonefish or a girl stonefish?”
This was the way he dealt with fear. He brushed it aside and made jokes. “Is that all you have to say?”
His jaw clenched with determination. “I’m not going to die here, and neither are you.”
“What if we don’t leave?”
“We will.”
“You mean you will.”
He studied her for a long moment. She remembered the threat he’d made about dragging her along. It didn’t strike her as sexy anymore. There was a new edge to him, as if he’d been to hell and back over the past two days. “I won’t leave you.”
“Then we’ll stay.”
“No.”
She rose to her feet, stomach roiling. “The raft isn’t even seaworthy.”
He stood with her. “It will be when I’m finished. I’ll make a sail, and we’ll take plenty of food and water. I want it to be ready before monsoon season.”
“You said it was a last resort!”
“That was before.”
“Before we slept together?”
“Before you almost died in my arms,” he said.
She stared at him in disbelief. “What happened to waiting it out? What happened to hoping for a passing ship?”
“I’ll wait a few weeks. To find out if you’re pregnant.”
The blood drained from her face. “And if I am?”
“Then we’ll go.”
“I already said no. What are you going to do, knock me unconscious?”
“Of course not. I’ll tie you up.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, fighting tears. He could overpower her easily. He outweighed her by at least sixty pounds. The thought of him using brute force to take her choices away devastated her. His eyes told her that it devastated him, too. He wasn’t the kind of man who put his hands on a woman unless she wanted him to.
“I won’t stay here and watch you die in childbirth,” he said.
“I’m probably not even pregnant.”
“Maybe not now, but you will be. I can’t keep my hands off you forever. I can’t live here with you and
not touch you.”
“You’re crazy.”
He gripped her upper arms and held her close. “I’m not crazy. I’m in love with you.”
She shoved at his chest. “No, you’re not! You wouldn’t even think about risking both our lives if you were!”
“I’m trying to save us!” he shouted back.
She studied his tense face. A muscle in his jaw flexed, and his eyes blazed with emotion. She thought he might shake her senseless or yell at her until she agreed, but he didn’t do either. He released her and retreated a step.
“There was a woman, in Al-Hasakah,” he said, after a pause.
“Where’s that?”
“Syria. We’d been working with her husband. He was our interpreter. We promised them visas for helping us, but he got killed by insurgents after a few weeks. She was pregnant.”
Cady leaned against the palm tree, feeling weak.
“She went into hiding, and we lost contact with her. One day a boy came to our camp saying she needed a doctor right away. We brought the medic, but it was too late.”
“The baby?”
He shook his head, and her chest tightened with anguish.
“It wasn’t your fault, Logan.”
“Hud took it harder than I did. He’d recruited the interpreter, and he was still kind of messed up about his own wife having some other guy’s kid. I think that’s why he didn’t retreat with us in Telskuf. We were targeting the same terrorists who killed the interpreter. Hud was out for blood.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
His gaze met hers. “You asked me once if I’ve ever failed at anything. I have, and people died because of it. Those failures led me to this moment. I have to go get help before it’s too late. Do you understand?”
Her eyes filled with tears and her throat closed up. He wasn’t going to change his mind. He’d get that damned raft repaired. He’d work on it day and night. There was nothing she could do to stop him.
