by Caragh Bell
‘Luca,’ she whispered. ‘Do you want to go to bed?’
He looked at her as if she were insane. ‘Bed? You’re kidding me, right?’
‘I’m super-tired and I guess I’ve had enough of dancing. We could just go and no one would notice.’
Luca’s mind was racing. He sure as hell didn’t want to go to bed. Not at all, in fact. He looked at his fiancée’s face; she looked wan and pale. She had been working so hard lately – she needed to recuperate.
An angel on his shoulder urged him to accompany her upstairs, take off his clothes and sink into the soft sheets, spooning her protectively as she dozed off. That’s all he should want to do, right?
The devil on his other shoulder told him to cut it out – this night would be epic – he was required to party with Craig and Sam.
And Lydia …
He kissed Charlotte softly on the lips. ‘Baby, I really need to stay down here for a while. I’m the best man, and I haven’t seen Craig in so long …’
She understood completely. She was a fool to think that he would go off to bed at this early stage of the evening. She tried to quell the paranoia that was rising up within her. He was staying down here for Craig. Just like he said. He was the best man after all. Just like he said.
‘I’ll bring you up,’ he offered, taking her hand. ‘Let’s just split and I’ll say you have a headache.’
She nodded and followed him wordlessly. There was no sign of Lydia; for that she was gratified.
They climbed the old majestic stairway and made their way to their room.
Minutes later, she was in her silk camisole and was tucked up in bed. He kissed her cheek.
‘I love you,’ he said, meaning it. ‘I’ll be up soon.’
‘Night,’ she replied, her eyes troubled. ‘Please don’t be too long.’
He looked back and smiled. ‘I’ll be back before you know it.’
Colin tapped the singer of the band on the shoulder.
‘So, you’re a fantastic singer and all that. Any hope I could sing a tune?’
He stared at him. ‘You want to sing up here?’
‘More than anything,’ answered Colin seriously.
‘Okay, knock yourself out.’ He stepped sideways. The band looked confused as Colin tapped the microphone and cleared his throat.
‘Right, boys, do you know “Stayin’ Alive”?’ he asked.
The drummer nodded.
‘Okay, let’s go!’
The bassist played the familiar chords and soon Colin was strutting around the stage giving it his all. The crowd responded, unable to resist the infectious bassline.
Lydia watched him, a big smile on her face, momentarily snapped out of her Mathis gloom.
Val sipped his beer. ‘Would you look at him up there? He’s a natural.’
Lydia nodded in agreement. ‘He’s a star. He’s been singing since he took his first breath. Diana used to visit when he was a toddler and we couldn’t shut him up.’
‘Let me guess, all the Disney songs.’
‘You have it in one. Especially The Little Mermaid. Ollie still comes out in a rash when he hears “Under the Sea”.’
She turned to the barman and asked for a glass of iced water. All the alcohol had gone to her head and she was feeling woozy.
‘So, where’s Mat?’ asked Val. ‘I haven’t seen you two together in a while.’
‘He’s … um, he’s ...’ She paused. ‘I’m not really sure,’ she admitted dolefully. ‘Another one bites the dust.’
Val patted her shoulder. ‘Try not to worry. If it wasn’t right, then this is the best thing.’
‘I think there’s something wrong with me.’
‘Not at all, you’re just not ready to commit. Don’t rush things.’
Colin was shimmying next to the lead guitarist, belting out the chorus of the song. The crowd were going wild; one of Samantha’s teenage cousins was even trying to breakdance.
Lydia caught Val’s eyes and they giggled. ‘This is a bit crazy,’ she said, draining her water. ‘We need to get back to the waltzing. The Dillons look horrified.’
Sure enough, Anthea Dillon looked thoroughly disapproving as a girl nearly did the splits right in front of her.
‘Is that Laura?’ asked Val, pointing to a blonde girl superglued to a red-haired guy.
‘My God, it is. With Tyler!’
He was running his hands up and down her back and they were kissing furiously.
‘That is an odd development,’ concluded Lydia, shaking her head. ‘He’s so not her type.’
‘Weddings always end in mad behaviour,’ reflected Val. ‘It’s the all-day drinking. People aren’t able for it.’
‘I can’t wait for yours,’ said Lydia slyly.
‘No comment.’ Val grinned. ‘Don’t even try.’
She laughed. ‘You’ll drive him crazy!’
‘All his life, anything Colin wanted, Colin got. This is the best thing for him. It will make it more special.’
Lydia couldn’t argue with that.
‘Lydia!’
She whipped around to find Luca behind her, a blond lock of hair over his eye. ‘I’ve been looking for you.’
Val turned on his heel and walked away.
‘He needed to go,’ said Lydia embarrassed.
‘Save it, I know he hates me.’ He nodded at the barman. ‘A scotch on the rocks.’
‘You’re like a younger Aryan version of Don Draper,’ laughed Lydia. ‘Except he would have ordered an Old-Fashioned.’
‘He liked the ladies, huh?’
‘Yeah, he did.’ She gulped her drink.
‘What the hell are you drinking?’ he demanded, grabbing her glass. ‘Some water? What the hell is that?’
‘I need to hydrate,’ she protested.
‘Let me get you a drink,’ he said, getting the barman’s attention again. ‘What do you want?’
‘I’ll have a vodka and soda then,’ she compromised. ‘With a dash of lime.’
‘You got it.’
Chapter 33
Mathis watched them with an angry expression. They looked so in tune with each other. He wanted to kill them both. How had things changed so rapidly? How did he end up being the one cast aside?
There was no sign of Charlotte. How typical. She was probably in bed which gave that creep carte blanche to sleaze all over Lydia.
He debated whether to get a refill of whiskey but decided against it. He was far too drunk already and he wanted to be someway lucid when he spoke to her.
Getting to his feet, he stumbled a little. The room seemed hazy but after a few moments he regained his coordination. He passed Helen and Seán on his right – Helen was sipping a glass of white wine and Seán was laughing and joking with Mark.
‘Hi, Mat, are you having fun?’ called Lydia’s mother.
‘Oui,’ he answered through gritted teeth.
On he walked until he reached the bar. He stopped just behind her back. Luca made eye contact with him first.
‘Hey, man,’ he said warmly. ‘Do you want a drink?’
Mathis ignored him and tapped Lydia’s shoulder. She turned and the colour drained from her cheeks.
‘What do you want?’ she whispered.
‘Pourquoi tu l’aimes?’ he asked bleakly.
That got Luca’s attention immediately.
Lydia’s world slowed down and she couldn’t find the words fast enough. He’s asking me why I love Luca. Mathis didn’t know that Luca could speak French. She had to stop him. She had to shut him up.
‘No!’ she said shaking her head furiously. ‘Don’t say any more.’ She pushed him backwards.
‘Pourquoi tu l’aimes, Leed? Pourquoi pas moi?’
‘Mat!’ she shrieked. ‘Stop!’
‘Calme-toi,’ he said derisively. ‘Il n’a pas compris.’
She wanted to scream ‘No, he does understand!’ but she couldn’t. She looked wildly at Luca.
‘En fait, j’ai bien compris,�
� Luca retorted, rising up to his full height.
Mathis looked at him in surprise.
‘Now would someone tell me what the fuck is going on?’ Luca almost roared at them both.
Lydia wanted to die. It couldn’t be worse. She could see that Mathis was plastered and she didn’t want a fight at Sam’s wedding.
‘Would everyone just shut up!’ she said, putting herself between the two men. ‘This is a silly conversation. Everyone is drunk and it’s time to go to bed.’
‘Leed loves you. She wants you and not me. Eet ees true.’
Lydia watched the words come out of his mouth in horror. He was confirming it. He was telling Luca the truth. All her secrets were being broadcast to the world.
‘I think you’ve got it wrong, buddy,’ said Luca. ‘Lydia is not in love with me, I can guarantee you that much.’
‘Oh, but you are wrong,’ Mathis replied bleakly.
Luca turned to Lydia and grabbed her by the arms. ‘Is this true? Lydia? Is this true?’
She couldn’t answer. She couldn’t utter a word. It was the worst moment of her life. Luca was getting married to another woman and now he knew that she still had feelings for him. How stupid and sad did that make her look?
‘I have to go,’ she whispered, disentangling herself and bolting.
She could hear him call her but she ignored it. She had to get out. She had to run away.
The river flowed as furiously as it always did. Their tree looked the same, its large trunk gnarled and solid, its branches full of summer leaves. She touched the rough surface and traced the contours with her finger. In a flash she was transported back to years before and the countless conversations they’d had, seated beneath it.
Their spot was a five-minute walk from the hotel; the small river ran adjacent to it. The sound of the water was reassuring, the familiarity comforting.
How can I face them again?
You play with fire – you get burned. That’s how the saying goes.
How true it was. She had been behaving shamelessly over the past few days and now she was paying for it.
Now she looked like a fool. A pathetic fool.
She felt the tears well up in her eyes.
She knew why Mathis did it. He was hurt. She had broken his heart. He wanted to hurt her back. It was a natural reaction. What did Hamlet say to Ophelia again? Oh yeah. Get thee to a nunnery. The prince had a point. Maybe she should take his advice. She was obviously not a candidate for love. She seemed to destroy things. Colin was right – she was a selfish bitch.
What am I going to do?
She could imagine her mother’s face if she heard. Her fragile relationship with her father would be compromised again.
Please don’t tell anyone, Mat.
Her reputation depended on it. Samantha would kill her for jeopardising Charlotte and Luca’s wedding. Colin would give her his disappointed look. What would Charlotte say? What would she think of her?
She leaned her head back and stared up at the starry sky. She picked the brightest and automatically wished on it. Then she gave herself a mental shaking. No amount of wishing would get her out of this one.
‘Hey there!’
She wiped her eyes and nose. ‘Who’s there?’ she called in trepidation. It was dark and lonely down by the river.
Luca appeared out of the gloom. His tie had been discarded, his jacket was slung over his shoulder and his shirt was open at the neck.
‘I knew I’d find you here,’ he stated matter-of-factly.
They stood immobile for a few moments. She couldn’t meet his eyes.
‘Was he telling the truth?’ he asked.
It was the obvious question.
She debated what to do. Was there any point in denying it? Loving him wasn’t a crime. It didn’t make her a weak person; it made her human.
‘Yes,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. The worst mistake I ever made was leaving you that day.’
He looked at her incredulously. ‘Are you fucking serious?’
She nodded.
He hit the tree with his fist and winced at the pain. ‘Fuck you, Lydia!’ he shouted angrily. ‘Fuck you!’
She put her head in her hands. ‘I didn’t plan this. I promise. I honestly thought leaving you was the best way forward. I didn’t want you to find out. Mathis should have kept his mouth shut.’
Luca rested his head against the trunk of the tree.
‘I gave you my heart,’ he said sadly. ‘I gave it to you and you threw it back.’
‘I know.’
‘I’m happy now.’ He closed his eyes.
‘I know.’
She reached out and patted his shoulder in comfort, but he flinched. ‘Don’t touch me!’ he snapped, pulling violently away.
She stepped backwards. ‘Forget about all of this, Luca. It doesn’t matter.’
‘Doesn’t matter?’ he repeated slowly. ‘Doesn’t matter?’ His voice escalated. ‘It may not matter to you, but it matters to me.’
She turned away. ‘I’m going back to the hotel.’
He grabbed her arm.
‘Ow! You’re hurting me!’ she cried, trying to pull out of his grasp.
Grabbing her waist, he yanked her closer until her face mirrored his own. She could feel his breath on her face. Without a word, he pushed her backwards until she was up against the tree. There was no escape.
She could feel her pulse hammering in her ears. She arched up towards him, pressing her softness against his strength. He grabbed her wrists and held them tightly.
Neither of them spoke for what seemed like an eternity. She knew he wanted her, she could feel it. Suddenly, he bent forwards and took possession of her mouth. He let go of her wrists and cupped her face instead, deepening his kiss until she gasped for air. It was a rough kiss, one designed to get his point across. She responded eagerly, letting his tongue explore her mouth and wrapping her arms around his neck. He groaned and let his hands roam her body, cupping her buttocks and grinding against her. It was like years of frustration and yearning were being channelled into his kiss; she moaned and threw her head back, inviting him to kiss her throat. He buried his head in her soft skin, inhaling her, savouring her. Yanking at the bodice of her dress, he pulled at the fabric. There was a tearing noise and her breasts were released from their confined space. Her lacy cream bra could barely contain them.
Bending down his head, he sucked on her nipples. She could see the moonlight gleaming on his blond head; she remembered this image from before, his head in this position.
Moaning, she urged him closer, encouraging him to kiss her again.
‘Oh, Lyd, we have to stop,’ he groaned. ‘I can’t handle it.’
She said nothing. She never wanted to stop. She didn’t want to think about the real world. She just wanted him inside her: right now.
Pulling up her skirt, she pulled his hand lower so that he encountered her lacy thong and the wetness underneath. His eyes were drugged as he rubbed her slowly and deliberately, watching her gasp in pleasure.
He swiftly opened his pants and, spreading her legs, he plunged into her, kissing her furiously with every thrust.
Lydia couldn’t breathe; it was like every nerve-ending in her body was alive. She had heard of electricity between people and now she understood what it meant. Pleasure flooded through her as she rocked with him; she could feel herself floating outside of her body.
‘Oh, Lydia,’ he murmured, burying his face in her neck.
She clutched his hair, on the brink of orgasm. She urged him deeper, pressing against him until she could feel the release. He soon joined her, crying out as he came.
He pulled out and turned away, panting slightly.
Still leaning against the tree, she slowly came back to earth.
She tried to refasten her dress, but it was torn beyond repair. It was only then she realised that her back was scratched badly from the bark of the tree and had started to sting.
‘Lu
ca, I can’t go back like this,’ she whispered. Her long hair had escaped from its chignon and tendrils flowed down her back. Her dress was in ribbons.
He looked at her with mixed emotions. She looked wanton and desirable, but he couldn’t escape the gnawing guilt that invaded his body. He had just cheated on Charlotte for the first time. He didn’t like how it made him feel.
‘Luca? I don’t know what to do …’
‘You oughta wear my jacket,’ he suggested, pointing to the crumpled heap on the grass. ‘Just go straight to your room. I’ll pretend I lost it.’
‘What if someone sees me?’
‘Don’t let that happen,’ he retorted. ‘Go in the back door if you have to. Just stay out of sight.’
She bent down and picked up his coat. It was much too large for her small frame, but she wrapped it around herself gladly. Samantha would kill her if she saw the state of the dress. She’d have to hide it immediately.
‘You leave first,’ he said without meeting her eyes. ‘We can’t be seen together.’
She felt her skin grow cold. He was so distant. It made her feel so cheap.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked.
‘Sure, I’m A-Okay. I just fucked another girl a month before my wedding.’ He looked stricken. ‘This is a giant mess, Lyd. Surely you can see that?’
