“Samantha, hello!” Mary called from the kitchen.
After shaking out her and Melissa’s cloaks and bonnets by the door before hanging them up, Samantha set her satchel by the front door and went into the kitchen to help. Mary was cooking up a chicken, mashed potatoes already done and the green beans finished. Samantha made a gravy from the juices from the pot cooking the chicken, adding flour to thicken the gravy.
I’m so glad you’re here,” Mary said. “You just make things brighter.”
Laughing, Samantha shook her head. “How’s John?”
“He’s doing gut,” Mary said. “I can’t believe our wedding’s coming up so soon!” She gave an excited squeal, uncharacteristically girlish for Mary, as she flicked the mashed potato spoon back-and-forth in the air. Bits of potato went flying, and Samantha shielded her face. “Ach, sorry Samantha!”
Samantha chuckled and shook her head, brushing off the spots of mashed potato. “Nee, it’s okay. You should be happy!”
“Well, I can be happy and not make a mess of the kitchen I just cleaned,” Mary laughed. Mary then paused, and was ready to ask Samantha a question. "So..." Samantha knew Mary was curious about the relationship that was developing between her and Joshua. She was also curious to know Mary's thoughts about the now obvious attraction she and her brother felt towards each other.
At that moment, Joshua had just come in with Andrew, and they were shaking their coats off before hanging them on the coat rack.
“Grohs-mammi couldn’t make it today?” Joshua asked Mary. Whenever Joshua was around his children, he referred to his mamm as Grohs-mammi.
“Nee, she wasn’t feeling well,” Mary said. “Just a little cold, but she wanted to stay home.”
“Okay.” Joshua bowed his head and they folded their hands. “Gott, we ask for Your blessing on this food and on the hands that prepared it. Danke for our guest. We also ask for Your healing hand on Grohs-mammi. Amen.”
“Amen,” Samantha said along with Mary and the children. They started dishing out food, everyone eager to eat.
Dinner was excellent, and Samantha’s time at the Woods’ was sweet and fun, as it had been every night she’d visited. Once she assured Mary that she would take care of the dishes, Mary headed out early to take care of her mamm.
“It was gut to see you again,” Mary said to Samantha. “Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Jah, I hope so. Have a gut evening!”
“You too!” Mary paused to give the children a kiss on their heads and waved at Joshua as she left the house.
After Samantha had cleaned up the dishes with Melissa chatting to her the entire time, Joshua stepped into the kitchen doorway and paused, watching her. She gave him a small smile and tried to continue what she was doing, but she could feel his eyes lingering on her, and eventually she turned around, afraid she might start blushing.
“I have something to show you when you’re done,” Joshua said. He smiled warmly at her, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed in a relaxed manner.
“Okay,” Samantha said as she hurried to finish. She wiped her hands on her apron and followed Joshua out to the front door.
“We do have to go to my workshop,” Joshua said apologetically.
“That's not a problem.” She put on her bonnet and cloak and then helped Melissa, while Joshua helped Andrew into his coat. The four of them hurried over to the barn, the children giggling as they ran. They shook off the rain by the front doors of the barn, and then Joshua lit the lamps in the workshop.
Samantha had spent a little bit of time in the workshop over the last two weeks, and she had seen enough to know that Joshua had completed a set of chairs, which were set to one side. But Joshua beckoned her over to something covered with a cloth, and then swept the cloth off. Samantha gasped. Melissa and Andrew, who had been waiting excitedly nearby, jumped up and down, clapping their hands.
There, standing on the cement floor, was a beautiful oak desk. Samantha walked around it, inspecting the intricate details along the edges and the sides. It had dark brass handles, and the drawers slid smoothly out and in, the hinges on the cabinet on both sides opening with a small click and then closing easily again.
“It’s not stained and sealed yet,” Joshua said. “But I couldn’t wait to show you.”
“This is lovely...it's beautiful!” Samantha said. “You truly have great talent!”
“It’s for you.”
Samantha’s breath escaped her, and she looked up to see Joshua smiling at her. “Really?”
“Jah. I saw your desk at the school, and thought you could use this instead,” Joshua said with a big grin.
“Danke, Joshua!” Samantha exclaimed. "But..."
Joshua came over and clasped her hands into his, and they shared a smile. “You have been a gut friend,” Joshua said. He dropped her hands and turned to his children. “Andrew, would you take Melissa to the house for a bit?”
“Jah.” Andrew took Melissa’s hand and they ran back to the house. Joshua and Samantha peered out of the barn for a moment to make sure that they made it back safely. Then Joshua turned back to Samantha and took her hands again, and Samantha felt her heart speed up.
“Samantha, I would really like you to stay,” Joshua said.
Samantha was starting to feel dizzy. “Stay?” she whispered.
“Jah. With the kinner and I.” Joshua took a breath. “I’m not going to lie that I don’t miss Jessica. I probably always will. But you’ve been a blessing from Gott in our lives. In my life. And I know it hasn’t been long, but I want you to know that…that I love you, Samantha.”
The barn spun a little, and Samantha inhaled deeply to stay present. “I...I love you too.”
Joshua relaxed into a warm smile again, and Samantha thought her heart might flutter out of her chest. “I want to give the kinner time to grieve their mamm. But would you consider…would you….” Joshua paused, his handsome green eyes watching her face. “Would you marry me, Samantha Miller?”
Tears sprang into Samantha’s eyes, and she felt a conflict deep within her. “I…I want to…but I just took the teaching job. It's been my dream ever since I can remember to be a teacher.”
Joshua blinked at her, and then he smiled. “I wasn’t thinking of asking you to stop teaching.”
Samantha stared up at him. “Nee? But how...
“Nee, Samantha. It is Gott’s blessing to you and to the school kinner, and as long as He sees fit that you should teach, I won’t be the one to stop you. I've already been thinking and praying about this. Andrew’s already in school, and with your income from teaching, we could hire a nanny for Melissa and you could continue to teach until…until there was a bobli.”
Now Samantha started to giggle, mostly out of joy. I can have both my dreams? “That would be wonderful,” Samantha whispered.
“So…?” Joshua said slowly, hesitantly.
“Jah, Jah, I will marry you!”
Joshua’s face split into a grin, and he kissed her hands.
“Daed?” Andrew said.
Joshua and Samantha turned in surprise. Andrew stood by the barn doors, staring from his daed to Samantha and back again.
“Andrew, I asked you to take Melissa to the house. Go back and stay there with her.” Joshua said.
"She can't find her dolly. Did you…are you marrying Samantha?” Andrew asked.
Joshua and Samantha stepped apart. “Andrew,” Joshua said evenly, “please go back to the house, and I'll be there in just a little bit. And Melissa didn't bring her dolly out here.”
“Are you going to replace Mamm?”
“What? Nee. Andrew, do as I said,” Joshua said.
Andrew’s eyes narrowed onto his daed. “How could you marry her?”
“Andrew—”
“You want to forget about Mamm!” Andrew shouted. His little hands balled up into fists, and Samantha put her hands over her mouth as tears came to Andrew’s eyes. “How could you forget her?”
“Andrew
!” Joshua said sharply. “Stop this, right now.”
“Samantha isn’t Mamm!”
“That's right, Samantha isn't Mamm. Mamm is not here anymore,” Joshua said.
Andrew burst into a sob. “You don’t love Mamm anymore!” With that, Andrew turned and fled to the house, slamming the front door shut behind him.
There was a long pause as Joshua and Samantha stared at the house. Then Joshua sighed and turned to Samantha. “I’m sorry,” Joshua said quietly. His voice sounded broken. “I’d hoped to talk to them about it after our discussion. Not Andrew being surprised by it.”
“I understand.” Samantha glanced out at the house and Joshua followed her gaze. They listened to the rain fall for a long while.
"Joshua, I'm sorry, but I don't think the time is right for us to marry. I...I need to leave now," she stammered.
Samantha began to run home in tears.
"Samantha! Samantha, please stop!" Joshua called to her, to no avail.
The children are just not ready. They are heart-broken enough as it is, Samantha determined. She kept re-playing Andrew's words over and over again in her mind.
Samantha dear, what is wrong? Her mother ran to her seeing how visibly upset her daughter was as she ran inside her house.
"Mamm, Joshua asked me tonight if I would marry him. I truly love him and his kinner. I told him Jah, I would. Joshua was going to talk to the kinner afterwards. We were in the barn and thought Andrew was in the haus with Melissa, but he had come back to the barn and we didn't realize it. He heard the conversation, and didn't take it well at all. He was very distraught, yelling at Joshua, thinking Joshua wanted to forget about Jessica, and upset about me replacing his mamm. Mother, we cannot hurt the kinner any more. They are still grieving for Jessica. I love Joshua so very much, but it just isn't fair to the little ones for us to marry."
"Samantha dear; yes, Joshua and his kinner are still grieving, but I know Gott has a plan. Gott knows exactly what the kinner need, and what Joshua needs in his life as well. He has a plan for them as well as for you...and for Joshua. I saw Mary, Joshua's sister, in town the other day. She said she has not seen Joshua and the kinner happier since before Jessica passed. She has noticed the healing that has taken place in their hearts, and she is so thankful that Gott brought you into their lives. Do not let the kinner's immediate reaction determine your decision to marry Joshua. Please let Gott have a chance to work if this is His will. Place your trust in Gott, Samantha. Let's offer a prayer to Gott now."
"Dear Gott", Samantha's mother prayed, "Please reveal Your will to Samantha and bring her peace. And if Your will is for Samantha and Joshua to be together, please also bring comfort to Andrew and his sister in Your way. And we thank You for the healing you have already done in Joshua and the little ones' hearts regarding the loss of Jessica. You are so gut, Gott, and You have a wonderful plan for Samantha's life, and for Joshua and his family. Amen."
* * *
Chapter 4
This is not how this was supposed to go, Joshua thought. He was sitting at the dining table by himself, a cup of black kaffi in his hands. Andrew would not speak to him the rest of the evening. Joshua stayed up late and had been awake for a long while early that morning. He’d prayed most of the night, but there were no answers yet.
I don’t know what to do, Gott. Joshua sighed heavily. I want to marry Samantha. But Andrew was so upset. Was I wrong to ask Samantha so soon? And now Samantha is upset.
Joshua heard footsteps on the stairs, and he braced himself emotionally and mentally, wondering if it was his son, and how upset he might be. Andrew appeared in the doorway, dressed in his slightly too-large white cloth shirt. In one hand he was carrying a brown, stuffed teddy bear that Jessica had made for him while she was pregnant with Andrew. Jessica had told Andrew it was his praying bear, his special "friend" to pray with. Wordlessly, his face long and sad, Andrew padded over to Joshua, who pushed his seat back a little and held out his hands. Andrew clambered into his lap, and Joshua held him, and the praying bear, close. Joshua ran his hands through his son’s hair, and Andrew pressed his face into Joshua’s chest.
Joshua had no idea what to say, and five minutes passed before Joshua sighed, deciding to break the silence.“I’m sorry for upsetting you, Andrew, and not taking the time to explain what was going on.”
Andrew’s hands tightened around Joshua, but the boy didn’t say anything.
Joshua listened to the grandfather clock in the dining room tick by for another two minutes before he spoke again. “I want you to know that I miss your mamm,” Joshua said.“I always will. No one will ever replace your mamm, and that’s not why I want to marry Samantha.”
“So, you haven’t forgotten about Mamm?” Andrew asked.
“Nee.” Joshua blinked his eyes furiously as tears started to drip down. “I could never forget her. She was a wonderful woman that Gott blessed us with for a little while. I don’t know why it was only a little while.” Joshua cleared his throat. “But I do know that Samantha is another blessing from Gott. You like Samantha, don’t you?”
“Jah,” Andrew said.“Samantha is really nice.”
“I like Samantha too. I like Samantha so much that I want her to be a part of this family. She will not be your mamm, but she will add to our family. Do you understand?”
Andrew nodded his head. “So I don't have to call Samantha Mamm?” he asked quietly.
“Nee,” Joshua said. “And we’re not getting married right away. It will be a few months. This means we have time to talk about this and get used to the idea.”
Andrew leaned back and looked up at Joshua, his face brighter. “Does that mean that Samantha will come home with me every day after school?”
Joshua chuckled. “Jah, as long as she wants to keep teaching.”
And if she still wants to marry me, he pondered.
Andrew put his hand to his chin, as if thinking. Then he held up his praying bear and closed his eyes. “Dear Gott, please let Samantha keep teaching and be my second Mamm. Amen.”
Tears came to Joshua’s eyes again, and he quickly wiped his face against his sleeve. “I still need to talk to Melissa about this, so don’t say anything to her just yet.”
“Can we get Melissa up now?” Andrew said.
“Nee, let your little sister sleep,” Joshua said.
“But we’re supposed to go to Samantha’s house today,” Andrew said. He stuck out his lower lip. “And we can’t leave until Melissa is up.”
That quick, and all was well with Andrew. Joshua smiled and tousled his son’s hair. “Don’t worry. I’m sure Melissa will be awake soon. Besides, we will not be leaving till afternoon.”
Danke, Gott. Danke, for Your many blessings, and Your quick work! And Gott, please bring peace to Samantha's heart.
Samantha was trying to make the batter for the shoofly pie, but she kept losing track of what she was doing, and eventually her mamm stepped in when Samantha started to add too much flour. Samantha felt badly about the words she spoke last night and the way she ran off. She needed to apologize to Joshua.
“Why don’t you go sit on the porch for a little while?” her mamm said gently.
“Okay,” Samantha said. She tried to smile at her mamm as she walked out, but had a hard time bringing one to her face.
Samantha wrapped herself with her cloak, put her bonnet on, and went out onto the porch. It was still raining softly but the temperature was pleasant, so she sat on the rocking chair that was set under a covering, staring out across the plains.
Samantha had prayed all night for an answer, and for peace. She wasn’t even sure the Woods were still coming over to visit and for dinner, although her parents had decided to assume that they still were. Folding her hands together, Samantha bowed her head.
Gott, please grant Your wisdom to Joshua and to myself, Samantha prayed. I want to do the right thing, and I know Joshua does too.
Maybe Samantha wasn’t meant to have a family of her own just yet. Mayb
e Gott had truly called her to teach, and that was going to be all she did, at least for some years. It hurt to think about that, however, especially when Samantha had felt so close to having both of her dreams realized. She’d never thought that she could have a family and marry someone who would allow her to teach at the same time. And now that she had found this special "someone" that wanted to marry her, it didn’t look like his children were going to be okay with it. Her heart ached so badly that she began to cry, and then used the corner of her apron to dab her eyes. Oh, Gott, help me to trust You.
Hearing the sound of a horse whiney, Samantha lifted her head up. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognized the Woods' buggy heading down the road to her family's house. But then Samantha began to worry – were they coming to visit, or was it Joshua coming to tell her that he agreed with her and they would have to put their relationship on hold?
Samantha stood up and held her breath, staring as the buggy came to a stop. Joshua stepped out and wrapped the horse's reins around the fence post. He waved once at her, and then he walked around to the other side of the buggy, reaching in. When Joshua stepped back, Andrew and Melissa were in his arms. Samantha smiled tentatively.
“Samantha!” Andrew and Melissa exclaimed. Joshua set them down and they ran up to the porch, tackling Samantha with hugs, and she held them close to her, surprised.
Andrew stepped back and looked up into Samantha’s face. “I’m sorry about getting angry and yelling last night,” Andrew apologized.
It took Samantha a moment to catch her breath in relief, and she gave the boy a smile. “It’s okay, Andrew, you have nothing to apologize for.”
“I really do want you to join our family,” Andrew said.
Samantha beamed at Andrew. “Really?”
“Jah.”
“Me too!” Melissa said. She hadn’t let go of Samantha yet, and Samantha lifted the girl up into her arms. “Then you never have to leave!”
Samantha turned her attention to Joshua, trying not to cry in front of the children. “I would like that.”
“As would I,” Joshua said.
"Joshua, I'm so sorry for running off last night and..."
AMISH ROMANCE: Amish Dreams Box Set: Books 1-3 Page 3
