by Dawn Ryder
His heart was thumping just as fast as hers.
They’d had each other before.
This was different.
Bram stroked her. Petting her as though he was trying to memorize her body. He lingered over her shoulders before slipping his hands down to cup her breasts.
“God, I love these…” He was cradling her mounds, gently squeezing them before he leaned down and licked one nipple.
She drew in a soft sound that had him lifting his head. In the low light, he was just a shadow.
“I like the sounds you make, too.”
“That makes two of us,” she answered as she teased the length of his cock.
He stayed on his side, allowing her to see his face as she drew her fingers across his length and rubbed the spot on the underside of the head.
His jaw was tight and the sound that rumbled through his chest was low and deep.
And perfect.
She wanted to go slow but realized she just didn’t have the self-discipline to stay separated from him. She rolled over, pushing him onto his back so that she could straddle him.
“I don’t want to rush, Jaelyn.”
He’d caught her waist, holding her above him. His cock rose up between them, slipping into the fluid already coating her slit.
“I’m shameless when it comes to you.”
He let out a groan and then she was free to sink down onto his cock.
“So … damned … rotten…,” Bram said.
She sheathed him. Leaning down to brace her hands on his shoulders before using her thighs to rise up all the way, until only the head of his member was still inside her.
She rose and lowered, the feeling of their flesh moving against each other amazing. “No one ever made me want to get naked with them before.” She opened her eyes and settled on his cock, holding still as she locked gazes with him. “And there were offers, don’t think there weren’t.”
He sat up, proving his strength as he rolled right over and pinned her onto the surface of the bed.
“You’re mine, Jaelyn…” He thrust hard against her, sending a jolt of sensation through her insides.
“Mine…”
“Oh really?” she questioned before she lifted her leg and twisted it right over his head. She managed to climb to her knees before he was grasping her hips and thrusting back into her.
“Believe it, baby…” He grunted. “Now…” The bed hit the wall as he thrust into her once more. “Or later…” Another thump against the wall. “Let’s debate it all night … it works for me.”
And she’d be a liar if she claimed it was any different for her. The need and hunger were twisting through her. She was pushing back, arching to take his thrusts. The grip he had on her hips seemed to intensify the moment somehow, driving her excitement up another notch as she lost the ability to keep her lips sealed shut.
They were encased in the moment. Jaelyn had no idea how long it lasted, only that she didn’t care.
No, there was only Bram and the fact that he was with her. If tomorrow she landed right back in the claws of despair, she wouldn’t regret inviting him into her bed tonight.
It wasn’t really a choice.
He was her addiction.
* * *
His balls ached.
It was a crass observation but true nonetheless. Bram shifted as Jaelyn moved. She was restless, turning away from him. He eased her back toward him.
He needed her against him.
And that was a first.
The ache in his balls was something he’d enjoyed feeling before. To put it bluntly, he’d liked finding partners who would keep up with his appetite.
There had never been any holding afterward, though.
Now, he’d have shot the man who tried to separate him from Jaelyn.
He was in deep. His emotions overflowing the place he’d banished them to. It was no longer a matter of logical thinking. Analyzing the situation was useless.
There was only Jaelyn and the way she watered the dried-out parts of his soul.
* * *
An alarm was starting to chime.
Jaelyn groaned and cracked one eye.
“It is definitely a coffee sort of morning.”
She opened her eyes as Bram spoke from the foot of the bed. He was tucking the laces of one boot in before he reached for his gun that was lying on the dresser. He checked it before securing it in the holster.
“See you after work, honey.”
He winked at her while she was hugging a pillow against her chest and trying to jump-start her brain.
“Will I?”
It was more of a challenge than a question and she didn’t regret her tone of voice. Bram stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned to look back at her.
“You will,” he assured her. “We have a wedding to plan.”
The mobile unit wasn’t as sturdy as a house. The wall shook as he opened and shut the door.
But Jaelyn felt like it was the foundation of her life that shuddered.
Did she know what she was doing?
Hell no.
Then again, there was an instinct at work. Something she’d never realized lived inside of her. Bram had awakened it.
So no, she wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing but the best adventures were the ones that included surprises.
* * *
“We need to talk.”
LeAnn had been waiting for him. Bram felt a twinge of heat creeping along his nape as he closed the door of Jaelyn’s room behind him. While he’d been focused on what his actions had cost Jaelyn, he’d avoided the fact that LeAnn was suffering a loss as well.
“I owe you an apology. Gideon found the picture I had of you.” Bram came down the steps and faced her. “I know better than to bring personal items with me on missions since I’d been working with a Shodow opps team. It was a fatal mistake. I know the squad was important to you.”
She smiled. It wasn’t the practiced one he knew so well. This was something different. The truth was, he’d been avoiding noticing just how changed LeAnn was. It was like her shell had cracked, allowing something to hatch that was overdue in emerging.
“That’s not what I wanted to talk about.” She was suddenly moving toward him and the mobile housing unit. “You doubt my sister.”
“Not really.”
She smiled at him. Bram ended up staring at her because there was more sincerity in the expression than he realized he’d ever seen from her before.
LeAnn shook her head. “It’s my fault she didn’t answer your letters.”
She went past him and knocked on Jaelyn’s door.
“Back already?” Jaelyn was speaking before she looked to see who was on the other side of the door. Bram watched her slap a hand over her mouth as her cheeks darkened.
“I need to confess something,” LeAnn began. “I’m a horrible sister.”
She reached inside her sweatshirt jacket and pulled something out. “These are for you.”
LeAnn held up something and waiting until Jaelyn took them from her. Bram stepped closer, looking over LeAnn’s shoulder.
“What the fuck?” The words just got past his lips.
Jaelyn looked at him, then at the bundle in her hand as she tried to make sense of his exclamation.
“Yeah,” LeAnn said as she came down the steps. “I’m that rotten. So let’s call it even on the picture-and-Gideon thing. I think I got a dose of what was coming to me.”
Bram caught her upper arm as she tried to take off.
“No one deserved what he did to your family.”
She pulled away from him. “This isn’t about me, it’s about the fact that you don’t trust my sister’s feelings for you because I stole your letters.”
“His what?” Jaelyn asked in a horrified whisper.
“Letters,” LeAnn answered. “And I didn’t do it out of love. I was jealous and being childishly vindictive. A real girlfriend wouldn’t have done it, even if she was heartbroken.
So, I’m sorry.”
The shocked look on Jaelyn’s face wasn’t for her sister. She aimed it straight at Bram. LeAnn left, but honestly, Bram didn’t notice just where she went.
No, his attention was on Jaelyn. She clutched the letters to her chest, like a treasure she was being reunited with.
“That’s why…” she whispered, “why you’re trying to talk me out of marrying you.”
“Only part of the reason.”
Jaelyn slowly smiled at him. “See you tonight … dear.”
She winked at him before she pulled the door shut.
Damn if he didn’t enjoy her sass.
* * *
He’d written her.
Jaelyn sat on her bed, spreading the letters out so that she might see every last one of them. Their smudged envelopes only endeared them to her more.
So many …
There were so many!
She fingered them, arranging them in order of postmark. Fat, hot tears dropped from her eyes as she stared at them while her heart felt like it was going to burst.
And then, it threatened to tear in half.
How could he have doubts?
The horrible truth dawned on her. Bram was everything she always thought of him.
The best.
And it was the reason he didn’t want to commit to her. The letters in front of her proved he’d wanted everything she did.
Only that was before Gideon.
Before Bram thought he was putting her and her family in danger. She really was rotten because she wanted to tell him it didn’t matter.
Bram was putting other people’s safety before his own happiness.
She didn’t even come close to measuring up to him.
Her door suddenly opened. Bram came in, the scent of coffee along with him.
“It’s a coffee sort of morning,” he said as he offered her one of the mugs he was holding.
“Sure is,” she agreed.
The coffee was strong and hot. It burned past the bliss she’d woken up enjoying, leaving her staring at cold, hard reality.
“You’re right,” she said. Her damn voice was almost a squeak. That pissed her off because she wasn’t going to cry over something that came so second nature to Bram.
He was better than her.
Better than she deserved.
“We can’t get married.”
There. The words were out. It hurt. So deeply and acutely, the only balm was the knowledge that she was doing something important for her grandfather.
“Why do you say that?” Bram demanded.
Jaelyn flipped around to stare at him. “Because you’re right. I have to think about how my actions affect my family. Just like you are.”
Bram was furious. She watched his temper heat up as he slammed the coffee mug down on the dresser. “You said you would marry me, Jaelyn.”
“And you’ve told me again and again just what a bad idea it is.”
He was shaking his head. “So now it bothers you what I do?”
“No.” She was on her feet facing him down. “It sucks that my choices could hurt those I love. You’re just looking out for LeAnn and Gramps. I’m a selfish bitch to not catch on to that. I wasn’t listening, just reaching for what I wanted. Thinking only of myself.”
She wiped her hand across her face, forbidding herself any further tears.
Adult choices meant adult responsibility.
“We can’t get married.”
* * *
“We sure as hell are.”
Jaelyn turned on Bram. She was a mess of emotions and even knowing it, she couldn’t stop herself from letting it all out.
“Oh, now you want to change your tune?”
“I changed it last night, baby,” he informed her. “After your grandfather gave me a few pearls of wisdom.”
“He doesn’t understand the risk,” Jaelyn said, looking back toward the letters.
Bram grunted. “I made that same mistake.”
He was suddenly on his knees, his arms wrapped around her lower body.
“Nothing is certain, Jaelyn, except for the fact that I can’t keep my distance from you.” He released her but kept hold of her hand. “So take the leap and marry me.”
He simply was her choice.
And the glitter in his eyes told her that she was his.
“Let’s go see this church my grandfather thinks is good.”
* * *
LeAnn turned and sent Dare Servant a hard look.
Most men recoiled under it or at least tried to soothe her temper.
Dare Servant came closer.
“I don’t need company, thanks.” She was getting better at tempering her tone. Or maybe just recognizing when she had slipped into bitch mode.
“Sure about that?” Dare inquired. He was wearing his shades, watching her from behind their mirrored surface.
“So?” LeAnn took a breath and dialed down her temper. “Like I said, karma came calling. I’m a big girl. Jaelyn needs more help than I do. I needed to come clean, so those letters wouldn’t be a problem between them. It’s time I started helping my family out.”
“I have an idea about that.”
LeAnn had intended to walk away. Okay, she had nowhere to go, had done more walking around the rusted-out shells of the automotive graveyard than her grandfather had. Dare’s tone hooked her attention. Truth was, she was bored.
“This way.” He jerked his head toward the off-limits area beyond the boulder fence.
The huge nets that were strung up over the area to hide the construction trucks from satellites made for a speckled shade. Dare kept going until they came to an area that had large shipping containers lined up. She’d watched forklifts emptying one the day before. The doors were still open.
“Back here.”
Dare pulled a flashlight off a table and used it to illuminate the inside of the cargo container.
“Right there.”
Dare shone the light on something black.
“Our hot shop!” LeAnn exclaimed.
Sitting in the container were the ovens that had once been her and Jaelyn’s dream studio. She reached out and stroked one, the surface was coated with dust.
“Gramps got this for us,” she whispered. “Must have cost him a small fortune, too. That was before Grandma got sick. Jaelyn went and got a job with benefits to ease the financial load on the family. She really loves spinning glass.”
“I heard a rumor about it,” Dare replied. “Really want to help your sister move forward? She needs to keep busy.”
LeAnn smiled and she realized she was more genuinely happy than she had been in … well, a really long time.
Then reality intruded with a very large helping of facts. “Yes, I’d love to but the gas bill will be way out of my budget.”
A hot shop could easily run a six-figure gas bill.
“Got a plan for that, too.” Dare started walking toward the open doors of the container.
LeAnn followed him, relief bathing her when she made it beyond the steel walls.
“So, what’s the idea?”
“We need a cover for this place and a glass studio, well, that’s not a bad one. Milton will make a great little old man tinkering in his scrap pile, at least as far as the rest of the area is concerned. You’ll be the struggling artist grandchildren he dotes on, feeding your hippie-era fantasy.”
It was too good to be true.
Or at least, better than she deserved. Jaelyn was worthy alright. Her? Well, she needed to work on it.
“Are you shitting me?” LeAnn asked.
Dare wasn’t put off by her mouth. His lips twitched, which she admitted she enjoyed knowing she’d caused.
“No, ma’am.”
LeAnn slowly smiled. She realized Dare was watching her and looked away. “Thanks,” she muttered but realized how flustered she was and forced herself to face him. “It would be really great to blow glass again, and Gramps loves this place.”
“It was
mostly Bram’s idea.”
LeAnn turned and walked away.
“It was yours,” Thais said from the other side of the door. “The idea.”
Dare shrugged. “Bram is a team member.”
Thais nodded. “Team members are always supported. I know.”
Thais was hiding her feelings, which suited Dare. He liked the professional wall between them. He also enjoyed knowing she’d have his back covered no matter what it required her to do.
Fine, he was no gentleman because the honest truth was, Thais did some of her assignments in bed.
So did he.
Shadow Ops wasn’t for the weak or easily offended. Bram’s own sister had been targeted by them and had an agent slipped into her bed. It was a proven method of loosening tongues and to his way of thinking, better than torture.
And he had no plans to retire anytime soon.
If ever.
* * *
“Sure you know what you’re doing?” Dare asked as he slapped Bram on the shoulder.
“Clear as a bell,” Bram shot back. “So dust off your civilian suit. This wedding is happening.”
The church was small. It had a chill to it, the sort that lingered in stone buildings from centuries past. The pews were solid oak and the pipe organ ran on foot pedals.
“Jaelyn deserves a wedding.” He kept his tone low because the acoustics in the place were amazing.
“Who am I to argue against a perfectly valid excuse to drink?” Dare replied. “On someone else’s tab, that is. Hope you got a credit increase because I’m planning on ordering the expensive stuff.”
“Careful,” Bram warned. “My memory is pretty good, buddy. Your turn will come.”
Dare sent him a raised eyebrow. “Know something? I took off to help you find Jaelyn because there was far too much settling down going on around me. Count me out of that one, buddy. You are welcome to the marital bliss.”
Dare clamped his mouth shut when the reverend cleared his throat. The man was coming toward them to discuss details.
Milton stepped forward. “It’s been a long time. Your father married me to my wife in this church way back in sixty-eight. You were fresh out of high school.”
The reverend squinted at Milton through thick glasses before he patted the top of Milton’s hand.
“My granddaughter is ready to make a happy man out of this fellow, with your help…”
