Sadie felt the tears burn in her eyes. “It wasn’t a man. It was my parents.” The words tumbled from her brain and out her mouth. She couldn’t take them back now. “I was born to provide my brother with bone marrow. He was sick.”
Her words hung in the air between the three women. Becca shook her head. “I don’t understand. You donated bone marrow to your brother?”
“Yes. I was conceived for that purpose alone.” Sadie’s heart twisted in her chest. It was painful to talk about. She thought she’d moved away from it, but it was always there in the background, waiting to pounce.
Sami jumped up and went to the coffee pot, bringing it back and warming up their cups. “I’ve read stories about that. Did you always know that’s why they had you?”
“Trust me, I knew,” Sadie answered bitterly. “They made sure I knew every single day. I was ‘spare parts’ in our home. Alan was the only one who really mattered.”
Tears glittered in Becca’s eyes and she cuddled Noah closer. “That’s horrible. They should have been grateful to you. You saved your brother.”
A lump formed in Sadie’s throat. “That’s the thing. I didn’t. Alan died anyway. I failed at the one thing I was born to do.”
“That’s not all you were born to do,” protested Sami. “I’m sorry your brother died, but it wasn’t your fault. Did your parents blame you?”
Sadie nodded, remembering the expressions of anger and even hate on her parent’s faces when they looked at her. They’d never love her and in the end they’d hated her because she hadn’t saved Alan.
Becca slapped the table causing all of them to jump and Noah’s eyes to go wide. “Well, that just sucks big ones. When was this? What do your parents say now?”
“Ten years ago. I left home right after I graduated high school. I couldn’t take it anymore at home. Those years after Alan died were terrible. They didn’t want anything to do with me. They wanted me to stay in my room and out of sight as much as possible. They said I reminded me of their loss.”
Sami’s face was bright red. “That’s just shitty. I’d like five minutes with them. Just five minutes.” She folded and refolded the kitchen towel. “Please tell me they treated you decently before your brother died. That they weren’t completely worthless as parents.”
Sadie shifted uncomfortably in her chair. This was a subject she didn’t like ruminating on. “They treated me okay, I guess. They bought me things and were reasonably nice to me. I donated marrow when I was two years old. Alan lived for several years but eventually died. He was never really well. He had multiple health issues that bone marrow couldn’t solve.”
“So you prolonged his life?” Becca asked. “They weren’t grateful for that? Was your brother grateful?”
Sadie felt the knife in her heart. Her brother had been spoiled by their parents and took her efforts as his due. He was the one who called her spare parts. “He had health issues he was dealing with. He wasn’t really thinking about anyone else at the time. He was simply trying to survive. And I can’t say whether my donation prolonged his life. I wasn’t privy to those medical discussions.”
She’d always been kept out of those talks.
“In other words, no.” Sami’s lip was curled with distaste. “No wonder you don’t like taking care of people. I wouldn’t either if my family was like that.”
Tears slipped down Sadie’s cheeks. “There’s a part of me that wants to give and help. Truly. Then there’s the part that tells me people only take, never give. At the end, they wanted my kidney for Alan, but he died before I could donate it.” She wiped at her wet cheeks, sick to death of crying over this. She could float a Navy with the tears she’d shed. “I just don’t have anything left inside. I’m empty, a shell. I don’t have anything to give anyone. I wish I did.”
“You have lots to give.” Becca reached over and hugged her. It wasn’t easy with Noah in her arms but Sadie hugged her back as best she could. “You’re not empty. Not even close. You just need to find men who will give to you. I bet Meyer and Logan are givers. They seem the type.”
“They think I’m normal.” Sadie shook her head. “I don’t think I’m capable of having a normal relationship with a man or men, for that matter. I can’t give or nurture the way other women can.”
Sami threw the kitchen towel down in disgust. “That’s bull. You were always caring and nurturing with Trisha and I. You have it inside you. You’re just scared. Scared with a good reason, but still scared.”
“Now you know why I don’t want to go. I know how this will go. I’ll take care of Logan and yes, maybe I’ll even enjoy it. But in the end, I’ll end up empty, with nothing.”
Becca shook her head. “No way. We’ll make sure you won’t.”
“How can you do that? You can’t control people. Not even you, Becca.” Sadie tried to smile.
“I don’t know how, but some way we are going to prove to you that you have a lot to give. And we’re going to prove to you if you give it, you won’t end up empty.”
“I’ve already learned my lesson.” Sadie gave up trying to eat and stood up, taking her plate to the sink. “I need to get going. Meyer said he’d come get me, but it’s just a few blocks. My suitcase is on wheels. I can get there on my own. I’ll call you later today.”
Sami shook her finger at Sadie. “You better. Call or text us and let us know how things are going. Promise?”
Sadie raised her hand. “I promise.” She grabbed her purse and keys. “Thanks for listening and not judging me. You’re the only people I’ve ever actually told.”
Sami stood and gave her a big hug. “I’m glad you finally shared it. Getting rid of the burden is the first step.”
“The first step to what?”
“Why getting better, of course,” Sami exclaimed. “You want to be happy, don’t you?”
“I am happy. I’m, well, content.” Sadie was basically a happy, grateful person but she didn’t expect to be ecstatic. That wasn’t in the cards for her.
“That’s pathetic,” Becca declared. “Operation Sadie has begun.” She waved her hand as Sadie started to protest. “Our minds are made up. Your new life begins today. Get used to it. We’re going to wrap you in love and care. We’ll practically smother you with it.”
More tears welled up in her eyes and she scraped them away. She couldn’t be weeping when she saw Meyer and Logan. “I can’t believe how lucky I am since I came to Plenty. Everyone here is so wonderful.”
“Get used to it.” Sami laughed.
Sadie nodded in agreement but inside she knew she couldn’t get used to it. When things started to get better, something always happened to ruin it. Even Plenty couldn’t fix that. She wished things were different, but she’d learned a long time ago that didn’t get you anywhere. She’d wished for so many things to be different. The only time things changed were when they got worse.
It was best to deal with reality. Cold, harsh reality.
* * * *
Sadie pressed the doorbell of the large, old Victorian home Meyer and Logan had purchased when they moved to Plenty. It was easily twice as large as the house Sami, Jason, and Gabe lived in, and more than ten times the size of the crappy apartment she’d shared with Sami and Trisha in Orlando. Sadie loved the large front porch that wrapped around all the way to the back of the house and the warm, inviting feel of the decor. Logan and Meyer had decorated it with overstuffed couches and chairs alongside beautifully made two-toned wood furniture.
The door swung open and an older woman stood on the other side with a big smile on her face. She looked to be in her sixties with long salt-and-pepper hair. She was dressed in blue jeans and a Grateful Dead T-shirt.
“Hello! Can I help you? Are you here to see Logan?”
“I’m Sadie. I’m here—” Sadie didn’t get any further. She was enveloped in a hug from the woman.
“Come in, come in. Meyer told us he was going to get you this morning. I’m Brenda Smith, Meyer’s mother.” Brenda grabbed
the handle of Sadie’s suitcase and rolled it over the threshold and into the house before Sadie could protest she would get it herself. “I’ve heard so much about you. Come in and meet my husband, Carl.”
Sadie couldn’t imagine what Brenda had heard but dutifully followed her into the large kitchen. Meyer and an older man who must be Carl were sitting at the island eating breakfast. Sadie could see the resemblance between them. The face shape and chin were identical, although Meyer had Brenda’s blue eyes. Sadie felt the familiar rush of arousal whenever Logan or Meyer were around. They were sinfully sexy and her poor heart almost couldn’t take it. Today Meyer looked casual, but handsome, in blue jeans and a red T-shirt.
Before Brenda could introduce her husband, Meyer frowned. “How did you get here? I was going to come pick you up.”
“It’s two blocks. I walked. It’s a beautiful day and the suitcase is on wheels.”
“It is a beautiful day, and it’s good to save fossil fuel when you can.” Brenda scowled playfully at Meyer. “That’s something my son doesn’t seem to understand. In LA, they would drive to the mailbox, I swear. Would you like some coffee?”
Meyer didn’t appear happy she’d walked but he didn’t argue with his mother. “No, thank you. I limit myself to one cup a day, and I’m at my limit. If you’ll just tell me which room I’ll be in, I’ll take my things.”
This time Meyer stood up. “I’ll take your things upstairs. You’ll be in the room at the end of the hall. Follow me.”
Brenda put her hands on her hips and sighed. “Sit down, finish your breakfast, and stop ordering her around like a servant.” She turned to Sadie. “Please forgive my son. He sometimes lacks social skills the rest of us take for granted. Sadie, I’d like you to meet my husband, Carl. Carl, this is Sadie, the one we’ve heard so much about.”
Red streaked Meyer’s cheeks but he sat down and picked up his fork again. She and Carl shook hands, his eyes twinkling. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Can we get you some breakfast?”
Sadie shook her head. “No, thank you. I’ve eaten. Is Logan still asleep?”
“He’s awake and I was just about to take a tray to him. You can go with me. He’s been anxious for you to get here,” Brenda replied. It didn’t look like Meyer or Carl could get a word in edgewise with this woman around. Sadie liked her immediately.
Sadie was anxious to see Logan as well. He’d been sleeping when she’d visited him yesterday. “Sounds good. Can I help you with anything?”
“It’s all on this tray. Let’s go feed the patient.” Sadie followed Brenda to the master bedroom off the home office. Logan was sitting up in bed looking more alert than previously. His chest was bare and Sadie gulped at the expanse of tanned flesh and muscle exposed to her hungry gaze. She couldn’t stop her mind wandering to what he might be wearing or not wearing under the sheet that was pulled up to his waist. The television was on and Logan reached for the remote to lower the volume when he saw them, wincing as he did so.
“Those ribs giving you a time, aren’t they, sweetie? I brought you breakfast and a visitor. You can take another pain pill since you’re eating.”
Logan grinned. “If you weren’t already taken, Brenda, I’d marry you in a minute. Carl is a lucky man.”
Brenda snorted but blushed. “You’re already married to my son.”
“Not legally. I’d leave him in a minute, I swear.” Logan laughed and his hand flew to his ribs. “Shit.” He grimaced. “New rule. No laughing until these get better.”
Brenda waved and headed for the bedroom door. “Good rule. Make sure he takes his pill and eats some breakfast, Sadie. He’s a difficult patient.”
Brenda shut the door behind her and now Sadie was face-to-face and alone with Logan. And he was half-naked. In bed. She could feel the warmth rushing under her skin. He beckoned to her, patting the bed next to him. “Come here and talk to me. I didn’t get to see you yesterday.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I heard I was a little out of it when I saw you on Saturday.”
Sadie slowly walked forward and settled herself on the very edge of the mattress as far away from his body as she could. “You were asleep when I stopped by yesterday. Are you feeling better? You should take your pain pill.” Great, she was blathering nervously. Sadie reached for the prescription bottle on the nightstand but Logan’s fingers wrapped around her wrist, sending tingles to parts due south.
“They make me tired and dizzy. Can you hand me a couple of the ibuprofen? I’m going to take those during the day and the pain pills at night so I can sleep.”
She handed him the pills and he tossed them back with some orange juice. Sadie pleated the sheet between her fingers. “I guess I should go and get to work. There’s probably an inbox full of work for me to do.” L&M Investigations was extremely successful and there was always more work than time. Their extensive and meticulous background checks alone would have paid the bills for years, but they also helped federal law enforcement, foreign governments, the rich and famous, and even politicians.
Logan laced his fingers through hers, the heat streaking up her arm. His thumb brushed her wrist and she had to concentrate hard to be able to comprehend the words he was saying. “What’s the rush? I’m lonely here all by myself.” He nodded to the door. “Aren’t Meyer’s mom and dad great? As soon as Meyer called them they packed up and came to help out. They’re the best.”
Sadie felt a little ashamed she’d thought Meyer asked her here to help with Logan. It was clear now he’d never expected anything of the kind. It had been her past experience coloring her current situation. “They seem wonderful. Are your mom and dad coming out?”
Logan’s relaxed expression immediately grew hard, his eyes lifeless. “No. They aren’t. They don’t approve of me or the life I’ve chosen to live.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” She really was sorry she’d brought it up.
Logan smiled slightly. “It’s not your fault. Let’s talk about something more pleasant. Have Sami, Gabe, and Jason made any wedding plans yet? You’re going to be in the wedding, right?”
Sami had asked Sadie to be her maid of honor, and of course, she had said yes. She’d never been close enough friends with anyone to be in a wedding and now she was asked to be maid of honor. It was overwhelming.
“Yes, I am. They’re talking about a Christmas wedding.” Sadie grinned. “Do you really want to hear about the wedding details? I thought men tuned things like this out.”
“How about if I simply smile and nod? I just like hearing your voice. It’s very soothing and pleasant.”
She’d never been described as soothing before. Maybe she was like a walking sleeping pill.
“How about I go look at your e-mail and read them to you? Would you like that?”
Logan was a workaholic, right along with Meyer. Logan was going to go crazy being stuck in bed recuperating. It might help if she brought the office to him even if it was only for a short period.
Logan smiled. “That’s a great idea. Tell the man to join us and we’ll go through them together.”
“Then you’ll nap and rest.” Meyer’s deep voice startled Sadie. She hadn’t heard the door open. She’d been so focused on Logan.
“And there’s the man. I promise I’ll nap and rest, boss.” Logan smiled and Sadie felt distinctly not needed as the two men looked at each other with such love it made her heart ache. No one would ever love her that much.
“You better. Dr. Mark was adamant about not overdoing it.” Meyer came up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. The heat from his skin seeped into hers and made it hard to breath. “Sadie was a witness if you don’t believe me.”
Sadie swallowed hard and nodded. “It’s true. I heard him.”
Logan shifted in the bed and grimaced. “Two against one. I don’t stand a chance. Bring my laptop up here and we can go through the mail, okay?” Logan squeezed her hand. “After that we can all lie down here and take a nap. There’s room for all of us.”
Sadie’s
eyes went wide at Logan’s flirting. First Meyer, and now this. They’d been sweet, gentle, kind, and friendly. They hadn’t been flirtatious. She pulled her hand away and stood on shaking legs. “You know what they say. Two’s company, three’s a crowd.”
Meyer didn’t remove his hands from her shoulders. He simply let them slide down her arms, leaving a trail of tingling warmth. “Whoever said that never lived in Plenty. We moved here specifically because it was a ménage town.”
Huh?
She spun around to look into Meyer’s eyes, sure he must be kidding. He looked completely serious. “I didn’t know that. You moved here to be in a ménage? I thought…”
Logan quirked an eyebrow. “You thought what, honey?”
“Aren’t you—I mean, if you were in a ménage, wouldn’t it be with—oh hell, I thought you were gay.”
She was a blithering idiot. Definitely the idiot part anyway.
Both men were grinning and Logan was holding his ribs trying not to laugh. “Honey, we are gay. Kind of.”
Her brows came together. “How can you be kind of gay? Isn’t that like being kind of pregnant?”
Meyer held up his hands in surrender. “I don’t know anything about pregnancy. We like men. We like women, too. We have specific tastes in both.”
Sadie chewed on this for a minute. Becca’s husbands had been together before they married Becca so the idea wasn’t completely foreign. It was strange, though.
What the hell? Just ask. All they can do is fire you.
“Are you looking for a guy-third or a girl-third?”
Logan and Meyer exchanged a look. “A girl-third,” Meyer replied.
“Oh.” Sadie didn’t know what to say. She’d filed them safely in the “gay guys” category and now she had to refile them. “What if you met a guy you liked?”
“That’d be okay.” Logan shrugged. “But that’s not what we’re looking for. We’re looking for a female. We miss being with a woman.”
“You’ve been with women?” She hadn’t expected that.
Plenty to Give [Plenty, FL 7] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 3
