She nodded, and he extended his arm toward her and smiled when she accepted. They walked back into the room and returned to the seats they vacated several minutes before. She glanced at him, and when he gripped her hand in his and brushed a quick kiss against her lips, she sighed and turned to her parents.
“How are you both?” she asked.
“It’s nice of you to ask, Ellie. We are fine. A little bored now that we’ve retired, but we’re content,” her mother said.
“I thought you were guest lecturing in England?”
“We missed Colorado, and we wanted to have the opportunity to see you once in a while,” her father said.
She stared at both of her parents, and it was obvious to everyone that she didn’t understand why they would want to see her. Her eyes were wide, and he spotted the confusion in them that threatened to overwhelm her. “I’m…I…” she stuttered.
“I know it’s disconcerting, coming from the two of us, but we have missed you. It took us several years to realize it, but we regret how we treated you, as though you weren’t our daughter. You need time, and we understand that, since we treated you so atrociously throughout your life, but we would like to try.”
Ellie wiped the tears that had started to fall and nodded emphatically. “I would like that,” she whispered. She squeezed his hand for reassurance, and he brought her closer to his side.
He stared at her in awe. She hadn’t even hesitated—she’d given them a chance despite the years of neglect—and his chest swelled as he realized how proud he was of her. He kissed the top of her head, and looked over to see tears in her parents’ eyes as well. He knew that nothing would change overnight, but it was a start.
The rest of the evening was stilted, worried about stepping past a boundary that they had yet to establish, but they tried. It was more than he ever thought could happen. He kept her close, even when they parted. Her parents weren’t used to affection of any type, but when Ellie reached for their hands and squeezed, they returned her affection.
She was alone with her thoughts as they drove home, but by the time they had undressed for bed, the silence overwhelmed him.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I’m just confused. One minute they looked as though they hated me, and yet they said that they missed me. I don’t know what to believe.”
He nodded his understanding. “You don’t have to figure it out tonight. Only time will tell if they’ve truly changed, and we’ll deal with it together.”
When he glanced at her face and noticed tears in her eyes, he snagged her against him and squeezed her for comfort. He hated when she cried—he felt helpless and bereft—but he understood.
“I think the hope they gave me tonight is worse than ignoring me.”
Her statement rendered him mute as the anger stirred in his chest. He was the one who had talked to her on her parents’ behalf. If they hurt her again, he wouldn’t be able to do anything about her pain. He cursed himself as he held her, unable to do anything but be there for her. No matter what the outcome, he would stand by her.
Chapter Twenty-One
As the days counted down closer to Christmas, Ellie found that she was happier than she’d ever been with Lucian, but they hadn’t talked about a future, or their feelings, and it was starting to wear on her. Everything in her life was up in the air. She knew that their relationship was strong, but she wanted something more. She wanted the words.
She had been staring at the blank canvas for hours, thinking about her life over the past few months, and finding herself unable to paint with so many emotions swirling inside her. The light in the room had started to fade, and she knew that soon he would be home and her heart raced in her excitement to see him. Normally, her emotions would be exposed in her paintings and drawings, but in her studio and the familiar supplies in front of her, nothing came to mind.
Lucian had gone back to work a week after Thanksgiving, but she needed more time to think about what she wanted for her future. She had filed a leave of absence for another four more months to figure out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. The idea of starting her own business had taken root in her mind, and she had started to research ways to open her own graphic design business. After crunching the numbers and putting together a solid business plan, she found the idea of going back to work less appealing every day. She knew that she would have to decide soon.
Over the last month, she’d spoken to her parents a couple of times, but the strain that had been a constant part of their relationship was still present. She had tried to act happy whenever they spoke, but she couldn’t help replay their words to Lucian at the wedding. They criticized her choice of profession as well as telling him that they found her difficult. But the ultimate hurt came when they called her a liar, and she felt a pierce of pain through her chest. She had learned to deal with her parents’ criticism, but with Lucian in her life, she wanted to make a relationship work. He was more than she could have dreamed of, and he showed her in small ways and large ones that he cared for her.
She heard the vehemence in their voices as they told Lucian that they didn’t believe him, which led her to believe that her parents thought her crass enough to sleep with another woman’s boyfriend. She wasn’t worried that he might believe her parents’ opinion of her, but she was afraid that the vehemence of their opinions would plant doubt about her in his mind, and he would choose to move on from their relationship. She wanted to fight for him, but if he changed his mind and didn’t want a relationship with her, she would have to accept it.
Nothing had changed between them since he’d met her parents, but something inside her felt different. There was almost a desperation in her to get closer to him each time they made love, or even when he kissed her. Their kisses soon grew into more, and she clung to him as they made love, not letting go when they were both breathless and spent. He had to have noticed her desperation, each and every time they were together, but he hadn’t said anything. He would talk to her until she calmed, but he wouldn’t let her go. He held her in his arms—they reached for each other whenever they were together—but the desperation still gnawed at her.
One of the reasons for the desperation was because Lucian hadn’t spoken of his feelings, and she didn’t need the words, when his presence in her life told her all that she needed to know. She wished that she could shake the feeling that something would change between them, but until it happened, she would have to wait.
She had never been in love, didn’t understand what love was, until she met Lucian. He didn’t allow her to run away, or fight her attraction to him, and because of that, she was grateful that she’d met him. He made her smile, made her feel loved, a genuine love for the first time in her life. The more she thought about him, the more determined she became to tell him how she felt. There would be no hiding anymore. She knew their relationship would change, and she hoped that the tension in her chest would fade as she revealed her love for him.
Rebecca had been encouraging whenever they spoke on the phone, and although she came close to admitting to the other woman that she loved her brother, she wanted Lucian to be the first to hear it from her. His sister had heard about the wedding, and told her that she should have been there to see Amanda’s face when Ellie laughed at her assessment of Lucian. She called the day before to remind Ellie that her parents and her older brother and his family were coming into town for Christmas, and they wanted to meet her, which made the dread pull tighter against her chest.
“Ellie, love, are you home?” Lucian’s voice called out.
Her heart beat faster in her chest as she rose from her stool. She removed her smock and practically ran to the front door. Her eyes perused him; today his suit was dark blue with pinstripes, with a crisp white shirt, and a blue tie with an intricate square design. When she ran her eyes up to meet his, his hot gaze made her body flush and her breathing accelerate.
“Hey,” she whispered.
“Hey, yo
urself.” He walked toward her while he loosened his tie, his eyes never leaving her as he came closer. When she could feel the heat radiating from his body, she felt the tug of a smile at the corner of her lips as he tossed the tie behind him, not caring where it landed. She held her breath as he cupped her face, a split second before his lips met hers. A deep, drugging kiss pulled her under his spell for several minutes, before he pulled back and smiled at her.
“What’ve you been up to today?” he asked.
“Thinking, mostly.” Her eyes caressed his face, but she’d already memorized every aspect of his face, from his full lower lip, to the indention right above his thin upper one, his square jaw, and the sparkle of his eyes whenever he looked at her. She loved him, and it was about time that she tell him.
He shrugged out of his jacket before tossing it aside, taking the time to unbutton the top button of his shirt. He pulled her into his arms, and she laid her head on his chest, listening to the slow, steady beat of his heart. She closed her eyes and shivered as his scent reached her. She needed him, more than she needed anyone in her life.
“Lucian—”
His cell rang, and she recognized the ring tone. He had programmed the specific tone for when Rebecca went into labor, but as she calculated the time in her head, she realized that the baby was a month early. She didn’t let the fear show in her eyes when she watched as he hit the Answer button and pressed it to his ear.
“Yeah,” he said, clipped.
He listened, and she thought she heard Gabriel’s voice on the other end of the line. It was a quick conversation, and when he hung up, there was fear in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“They arrived at the hospital about an hour ago. She had contractions that were three minutes apart, and after examining her, the baby is breach and they are worried about the umbilical cord around the baby’s neck. Gabriel wants—”
“Let’s go,” she rushed out.
She grabbed her bag and coat, snagging his coat when he hadn’t reached for it, and sped out the door with Lucian close behind her. She jammed the elevator button several times, sending up a silent prayer that the baby and Rebecca were going to be fine. The next half hour was a blur of traffic and people as they hurried to Lenox Hill Hospital. When they rushed into the maternity ward, Lucian vibrated with the tension that radiated off of him in waves and made her heart clench in her chest.
She never had family to worry about—her parents wouldn’t have mentioned it if they were sick—and she had no siblings to worry about, but at that moment, her heart almost broke as she stared up into Lucian’s face as she saw the utter fear that he displayed in his eyes. She did the one thing she could. She reached for his hand and interlaced their fingers.
“Rebecca and the baby will be fine, I know it. Your sister is a fighter,” she said.
She watched as he closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. After a few deep, cleansing breaths, he looked into her eyes and nodded. Again, she squeezed his hand to let him know that she was with him every step of the way.
When things settled down, she would tell him how much she loved him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The panic that had been a constant since Gabriel’s call had him storming through the maternity ward, frantic for word about his sister. He had Ellie tucked into his side and walked straight to the admitting nurse, who smiled at him. For a moment, he couldn’t push the question from his throat, so he blew out a relieved breath when Ellie spoke up.
“Can you tell us anything about Rebecca Kane? This is her brother, Lucian.”
The nurse typed into her computer, and he gripped Ellie closer when her mouth turned down into a frown. “It looks as she’s in labor, but they are worried about the baby because he’s breach, so they are monitoring the situation. If he doesn’t turn on his own, they will have to perform a C-section, but they will both be fine.”
He rose to his full height and was about to argue that he wanted to see her, but Ellie reached for his hand and squeezed.
“Thank you. If you have any news, can you let us know?” Ellie asked.
The nurse nodded with a smile, and Ellie turned them toward the lounge. There was nothing to do but wait. The rational part of his mind told him so, but he couldn’t quell the panic that surged through him.
She walked toward a private corner, before she stood aside and indicated that he should take a seat. He glared at her, but she smiled and waited until he sat down before she took a seat next to him.
He pulled her close.
As much as he wanted to demand to see his sister, he knew that there was nothing he could do about it.
Gabriel was with her.
He knew that if anything happened, his best friend would call, but he’d never been a patient man. He gripped Ellie closer to him, grateful that she was beside him when he thought that he might lose his mind, but fear stole his voice.
“Rebecca and the baby will be fine. The doctors here are the best in the world, and trust me, Gabriel will protect her with everything in his power.”
She placed her hand on his back and rubbed imaginary circles on his back in an effort to relax him. If he could speak, he would tell her that her presence alone made him feel whole. Up until this point, he’d thought about what he wanted from her, and he’d steamrolled her into this relationship with him. She had jumped in with both feet and was with him every step of the way, but the way he wedged his way into her life had started to fill him with guilt. He hadn’t even asked her to marry him. He just slipped the ring on her finger and promised to ask her when the time was right.
“I’ve screwed up,” he groaned, sliding his hand down his face.
He noticed that the worry on her face changed to confusion at his statement.
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t give you a choice in this relationship with me. I took over. I moved myself into your apartment, and I, shit, I didn’t even ask you to marry me. I just promised I would propose properly later. I’m such an ass,” he groaned.
She took him by surprise when she giggled and cupped his face. “Lucian, I have been attracted to you since you stormed into your sister’s office and started demanding that she take it easy. Every moment with you has been…well, I don’t remember my life without you in it, and I don’t want to find out.”
Her lips met his, and her soft, reassuring kiss went straight to his heart, and it kicked, hard, in his chest.
“I want a future with you,” he said.
“I want that, too.”
Some of the panic in his chest started to recede at her words. He wanted to give her some time after the wedding to process the changes in her life, and to see whether her feelings for him might have grown stronger. But he should have realized from the beginning that she hadn’t been anything but honest with him since he’d met her. She told him her worries, and he should have known that it was to protect herself from the possibility of getting hurt. She was essential to his life, ingrained so deep that he felt as though she was a part of him, and him a part of her. He glanced down at his Ellie, and knew he was a moron for waiting even this long to tell her everything.
“Mr. Cole,” the nurse called from the reception area, “Mr. Kane has requested that you join them in their private room. The birth went well, and they are all resting.”
Lucian nodded as he rose from the chair, his fingers gripping hers. She gave him another reassuring squeeze and tried to disengage their hands, but he held on and strode forward. The nurse didn’t question Ellie’s presence as she showed them down the long, quiet hall, until they reached the last room on the right. The nurse knocked, and he heard Gabriel’s call for them to enter. The nurse pushed the door open and stood aside for them, and what he noticed had him stand motionless near the door.
“Twins.” Bec sighed when she glanced up at his startled face. She was holding a girl, if the pink blanket was any indication, and next to the bed on the chair, Gabriel held hi
s son, his eyes never leaving the small infant’s face.
Ellie beamed at both of them, but he stood, speechless, as he glanced at his new niece and nephew. Then he remembered the complications Gabriel told him about, and that moved him forward into the room to stand next to his sister.
“How are you feeling? How are the babies? Are they healthy?” He shot the questions in succession, without waiting for an answer.
Gabriel laughed, and he could’ve sworn that he heard the baby in his arms laugh along with his dad.
“I’m fine. We had a little scare when our baby boy, Daniel Gabriel Lucian Kane, decided he wanted to come out feet first, but the doctor turned him and he slipped right out.” Bec looked down at her daughter and the smile for the little girl was so tender, he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. “But Grace Elizabeth was a complete surprise. It turns out, her brother protected her and kept her from view.”
Bec smiled at both of them as the love for her new babies was evident in her tone and the way she looked at them. He took note that his sister had used Ellie’s middle name as her daughter’s middle name. He smiled down at his sister, grateful for his family.
He smiled down at his little Grace, and noticed Bec’s emerald eyes shining back at him. It looked as though she smiled at him and he was unable to keep the awe from his face, if Bec’s smile was any indication. He looked over at Daniel; the baby was reaching for his dad’s face. In a sight that he never thought he would see, Gabriel leaned forward and made cooing sounds at his son, encouraging him to explore.
“I’m proud of you, Bec. They are beautiful,” he choked out.
Ellie slid her arm around his middle and squeezed, another reassurance that everything was fine. He pictured their own baby, with sky-blue eyes, dark hair, and a quick smile. Their daughter or son.
As he looked at the two new parents, exhaustion etched on their faces, he knew they needed rest. He rounded the edge of the bed and kissed his sister on the forehead, before he turned his attention to the little girl. She gurgled when he ran his thumb over her cheek, and he couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face.
The Mistaken Escort's Pleasure: A Liaison Novel Page 14
