by West, Jade
“I mean it,” Amy said. “I see a big white dress, and a couple of beautiful babies, and a home worthy of Living Perfect magazine.”
“Urgh,” Kate added. “Why don’t we ever meet the nice guys?”
My belly was ripe with nerves again. Churning over and over.
“You really think I should up sticks and start over in London?” I asked them. “Honestly? You really think I should tell Rob I’m planning on making a move and start the wheels turning?” I let out a sigh. “Freddie doesn’t even know Ollie all that well as Mum’s friend yet.”
“He’ll come around to it, though,” Kate said. “He’s such a confident little guy, and you could have months and months before a house sale would really go through.”
She had a point.
It really could be months.
But still my belly was tumbling.
“I’ll keep thinking about it for now,” I told them. “There’s a lot for me to process.”
Kate nudged Amy, and grinned over. “You really are a sweet little girl in her regular little world, Maisie Moore. Your whole family tree is still in this five-mile radius, aren’t they?”
I gave her a tut. “It’s not my fault if my genetics have me fixed in Much Arlock. I like it here.”
“Yeah, well you might like it even better in London when you’re settled there,” Kate argued, and finished up her coffee. “Honestly, let us know when you’ve decided. I can’t wait to see which home you choose.”
“Me neither,” Amy said, and I got up to walk them to the front door.
“Thanks, guys,” I said when they were on the doorstep. “I really appreciate you being my sounding board.”
“We’ll really appreciate the spare bedroom when we’re checking out Harrods,” Kate laughed, and they both waved their goodbyes.
I watched them away with a grin.
Maybe they were right. Maybe London really would be a good place for Freddie and I to build a new world.
Maybe I’d have really thought so if Robbie Sawyer hadn’t caught wind of some streak of London relocation gossip and come calling.
Oh, Hell be damned, he really did come calling.
Chapter Forty
Oliver
“I could do with talking to you before the weekender next week,” Devon Kent said, as he stared down at my laptop. “Get you fully primed.”
I gestured to the empty seat next to me, pleased Naomi had fucked off back to our own offices for the afternoon. “Please go ahead,” I told him. “I’m all ears.”
His stare was an intense one as he focused in on me. I opted to close my laptop and eased a bit to face him, my brain churning over the potentials.
“We’ve been working together a long time,” he said, and I nodded.
“We really have. I’m very appreciative of your business. I know you’ve been very instrumental in our rollout throughout the organisation on the testing front.”
His smile was a strange one. I’d known him quite well over the years, and this one wasn’t overly familiar. Whatever was coming was quite a big deal.
I wasn’t wrong with that observation.
“Europe are planning a system overhaul,” he said. “Right across the network. Not only that, but they want radical changes to tie in with the US operation too. I’ve recommended you as the test systems provider. It’ll be a long process, but a serious one. Bespoke as well as current systems.”
Fuck, how my senses blew wild.
Hadley and Mason UK had been a seriously impressive client of ours. Hadley and Mason Global would be a whole other ballgame. So much to run with that the world would be our whole fucking oyster at the end of it, rollout all over the globe.
If only Sean was still on my fucking bandwidth, I’d have appreciated his expertise on this score.
“Jesus, Devon, thanks,” I said, and held out my hand for a shake.
“My pleasure,” he replied and took it solid. “I just wanted you to know before the social afternoon that’s coming up. The European team are going to be here, they’ll be hoping to meet you. Just wanted you to be aware what was on the cards.”
I nodded. “I’ll be well aware of what’s on the cards. We’re talking quite an opportunity ahead for me to get involved with your company shift.”
“Quite an opportunity indeed,” he said. “They’ll need you on site for so much of it, Ollie. For the next eighteen months at least. Then you’ve got the US. I hope you like to travel.”
Under regular circumstances I’d have absolutely loved to travel. I’d have been performing cartwheels around the office at the very thought of it.
It was a strange sensation to find that excitement lacking just a little.
I could barely keep my thoughts steady as I made my way back to my hotel room that night. The prospects were incredible, working with so many technical teams across so many locations. I’d be flying all over the place, jetting here and there from week to week just to coordinate our systems efforts.
I’d need a team all around me. People who understood what was needed.
People like Naomi and fucking Sean. Their people skills and rollout experience would be just fucking perfect alongside me.
I fought back the urge to ping the snidey bitch and bring her into the picture, because I couldn’t. Not if I wanted to take their shares back over. Filling her in on this opportunity was the last thing I should be thinking about.
I was brimming with potentials when I picked up the video call to Maisie that night. She looked quite nervous considering she was wrapped up in bed and all ready for lights out. She twisted a stray strand of hair around her fingers like a sweet little cutie, her lip pinched tight between her teeth.
Every bit a filthy little minx without trying, just to be a temptress. Only she wasn’t. It wasn’t intentional at all tonight.
“I’ve been thinking about London,” she said, and my gut lurched.
“Go on,” I said, and she twisted her hair all the faster.
“Rumour has been getting around the place apparently. Apparently Robbie’s been losing his shit, and is now reaching out to me and demanding we meet up and get our facts straight. I’m going to have to bring things up with him, a proper conversation.” She took a breath. “I’m going to be honest with him and tell him what might be looming. He’ll need the chance to adjust too. If we’re doing it, that is. If I’m really planning on moving to London.”
Oh, the fucking sigh I let out.
“That’s amazing fucking news,” I said. “Amazing. Bringing Sawyer into the loop is definitely on the essentials list. He’s going to need to prepare.”
Her eyes focused on mine, and must have clocked my uncertainty.
“What is it?” she said. “I thought you’d be super happy, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
And I knew I had to be honest. Really truly fucking honest.
“Devon Hadley wanted to speak to me today,” I told her, and she sat more upright in bed.
“About the new project stuff the company might have coming in or whatever?”
I nodded. “Yeah, that’s it in a nutshell. Only it’s a whole other ballgame than I was expecting.”
“Go on,” she pushed, and her own uncertainty looked to be spiking right back at mine.
“He’s talking a whole new bespoke consultancy gig taking part across the continent,” I told her. “Then the US to follow.”
“Oh wow,” she said, gauging the scale. “That’s a really big deal, right? I mean, the biggest you’ve had in the business?”
“Definitely the biggest I’ve had in the business,” I said. “They’re talking months and months of development time, and the rollout of our system in more locations than we’ve ever tried to manage. I mean we’ve made our millions but this is a whole new doorway…”
Her fingers kept twisting in her hair. “A whole new doorway to where?”
And that’s when it hit me. That’s when it truly hit me what the future looked like.
�
�A new doorway all over the world for the next few years,” I said, and her eyes turned to saucers. “I mean it doesn’t matter, sweetheart. London City could turn into a travel plan for you as well as me, and Freddie too. We could see the sights, fly all over, make sure he’s fully set up with a decent tutor.”
But her cheeks were far from pink on my handset. She was white. Pale and nervous and totally out of her depth, and I hated it. How I fucking hated it.
But how I didn’t have any fucking choice with my business opportunities burning up bright like this.
“We could do this together,” I said. “You could tell Sawyer this is bigger than a move down to London. It’s showing Freddie the world.”
“He doesn’t want to see the world,” she whispered. “Not like this. He wants to see his schoolfriends and his name on a football league trophy. He wants to see Saturday night gameshows with my mum and dad, and how Rob likes to watch the game on a Sunday afternoon.”
“And he’ll like so much more of what we have to show him,” I argued, but I knew she had a point.
I knew this was a universe away from the life sweet little Freddie was used to right now.
“This is such a huge opportunity,” I said. “Seriously, Maisie, it’s massive.”
“And you should do it,” she told me, with a smile every scrap as genuine as it always was from her. “I’m so happy for you and you should do it. Honestly.”
“And you should truly come with me,” I said. “Honestly, Maisie, it’s an amazing world out there. You, me and Freddie, and who knows who else in our family as time goes on.”
Her saucer eyes got even bigger. “We can’t make plans like that, Ollie. Not yet. Please not yet. I’m only just trying to get used to the thought of a house in London. I can’t imagine travelling all over the world and having another baby. As much as I might want to create a new life with you.” She sighed, and looked away from the screen. “You think it’ll be a few years?”
“Maybe three,” I said. “Probably more, when push comes to shove. And then there’ll be rollouts, and new organisations coming onboard.”
She nodded. “That’s a long time. Maybe you could still visit. Quite often, I mean. Maybe we could keep up the video calls and make the most of our time together.”
But I didn’t want that and neither did she. It was buzzing through us with every breath, the truth of it.
“We need to talk about this some more,” I said. “It’s too early days to be thinking about any of this. We’ve still got plans to make for London. I’m still absolutely determined we’re going to be together.”
She kept on nodding, but her heart was fading to quiet.
I could feel it.
And I hated how this should have been such an incredible opportunity but was turning out to be a huge thorn in the side of a potential dream of a lifetime.
“Still talk to Sawyer,” I said. “I’ll be over this weekend, and we’ll work things out. I’m already booked in at the Three Feathers. We’ll have a great time of it.”
“I’ll make sure we’ve got time together,” she said, her smile so bright with love.
And so bright with fucking sadness.
“I love you, Maisie,” I said. “Believe me, this could be an amazing dream coming to life.”
“I love you too, Ollie,” she said. “It’s a lot for me to digest. I need to get my head clear.”
I nodded. Knowing what those words always mean in this world.
Space.
She needed space.
“We’ll make the future work,” I told her. “We’re absolutely supposed to be together, no matter where that is.”
“But it’ll be all over the world,” she said. “Because that’s what your company is cut out for, and so are you. But me? Me and Freddie?” She looked away from me. “I’m not really sure we’re meant to be there with you. Maybe we’ll make it work another way.”
But how could we?
How would we juggle this for years to come across a video call screen, especially when I had a whole new family I wanted to build with her?
I guess it happened. It must sometimes have to happen. I mean people live apart all over the place, travelling all over the world.
But could it happen for us? Would we ever make it that way?
“I’m going to get some sleep,” she said. “Goodnight, Mr Gorgeous.”
“Goodnight, beautiful,” I said, but she was already gone.
Chapter Forty-One
Maisie
How I wished my next meet up with Robbie Sawyer wasn’t at the side of the Much Arlock Primary School football pitch on league try-out afternoon.
I had my smile at full brightness, grinning like the proudest mum as Freddie ran onto the field in his blue and white sports kit, praying that Rob would keep some semblance of social acceptability around us as he headed in my direction.
His face spoke volumes as he came to my side, but it wasn’t his usual hot headed bravado that greeted me as I offered him a hello.
He pulled a cigarette out, then remembered where he was and cursed under his breath as he slipped it back in its packet.
“Tell me I’m hearing fucking bullshit,” he hissed. “For the sake of fucking Christ, tell me it’s all fucking bullshit.”
I hated the shiver inside at the thought that some crazy rumour had really reached him. Surely not from Kate or Amy. Surely Ryan Neil hadn’t been spouting anything from any whisper Ollie had filled him in on.
“What have you been hearing?” I asked, and his eyes were savage on mine.
“London,” he said, being sure to keep his voice down for once. “Please tell me you won’t be taking my boy to fucking London.”
“Nothing’s decided on any front,” I said, and I wasn’t lying. My tiny steps forward towards the potential of city life had been blown out of the water well and truly by Ollie’s crazy opportunity.
Rob’s posture changed in a flash, his whole body angled into mine as his eyes fixed all the harder. “So it’s true? You really might be fucking considering it?”
“This isn’t for here,” I whispered. “Please, Rob, this isn’t for here.”
I clapped and let out a whoop as Freddie jogged past us, and there was a rise of something so powerful, so absolutely beautiful in my chest as he waved at the two of us, his face beaming so bright with the both of us present.
I was expecting Rob to be his regular asshole and wreck the experience for all of us, but there was nothing, just silence from his mouth as he clapped along to the procession of kids in front of us.
“Don’t do it,” he said after, and I barely recognised his tone. “Please, don’t fucking do it, Maisie. I’ll fucking beg you if I have to, just please don’t take my boy away from me.”
The thickness in his voice was enough to knock me back, and the defensiveness I’d counted on spilling out of me was killed in a heartbeat.
This wasn’t me hissing back or cursing and demanding he be acceptable. This wasn’t me shaking my head about how utterly unreasonable he was when speaking with me, or how he hadn’t even taken a few seconds to hear me out.
This was him asking me not to ruin him. Not to take his Freddie away from his world. And I got it. Of course I got it. Because there’s no way in this world I’d be able to cope with having my boy away from me for days on end, let alone watching him move away to a brand new life without me.
“I haven’t worked anything out…” I whispered. “Honestly, Rob, the rumours you’ve been hearing aren’t based on anything concrete. I don’t have any answers to any questions, just hopes to create the best I can for everyone. I’m trying…”
“The best for everyone is right here,” he said. “For us to be right here. For you, me and Fred, and your parents and my parents. For all the people he fucking knows, the places he knows. Having us all around him all the fucking time.”
I kept my stare on Freddie, watching every move he made around that football pitch, but I was reeling. Absolutely reeling.
“It’s early days,” I said. “And like I said, I don’t have any answers to any questions, I’m only just asking them myself.”
He cleared his throat and let out a cheer to the team before he leaned in for more words. The breeze picked up as he did so, and so suddenly he smelled like him. Just like him. He smelled like him and looked like him, with the same high cheekbones as the boy of ours on the field, and the same rich mop of dark hair blowing in the wind.
“This isn’t you,” he said, and I couldn’t help turn my head to him. “I mean I know you always had a thing about that prick Kent and what a prime fucking catch he was and how his fucking brains were top of the whole fucking tree, but this isn’t you, Maisie. It never was.”
“Sorry?” I asked, and my heart was thumping.
“I mean it,” he said, and his eyes were the kind of honest I’d forgotten he was capable of. “When we got together you were fresh out of his big brain fucking bullshit. You’ve glossed over it now, sure, but that doesn’t change the shit that was. When I first snared you you were still fresh out of the Kent crap and how full on he was.”
There was another zip of uneasiness in my belly.
“That was a long time ago…” I began, but he shook his head.
“Doesn’t make any difference,” he said. “You’re no more cut out for his chasing the fucking highlife now than you were back then. He was charging off, possessed by his own almightiness, and you were still here, wanting to be here. Wanting to be where you fucking belonged.”
“Stop,” I said. “This isn’t for here. We shouldn’t be discussing this now.”
But he didn’t listen. He leaned in close and he wouldn’t listen.
His voice was too thick. His eyes too honest.
“You belong here,” he said. “Freddie belongs here. Look at him, Maisie.” I couldn’t stop myself looking at him, and the pride was right there again as he came racing down the pitch with the ball at his feet. “This is his home, Maisie, it’s his fucking home. With his fucking friends, and his fucking school, and his fucking family. With us.”
