by West, Jade
That behind the swell of pride that a global opportunity could be on the cards for me, I’d been genuinely more excited by building a robot with Freddie out of whizz sticks and seeing how well it ran forward across Maisie’s living room rug.
I was still running on mute as I stepped out of Hadley’s offices that evening and found Sean pacing around the corner with a cigarette in his mouth.
I shot him a glance but kept quiet, just carried on by him towards my car, expecting nothing after all the bull crap we’d barked at each other through months and months, but his footsteps sounded loud behind me. Loud enough that I spun to face him before I was back to my parking space.
“What?” I said, but there wasn’t the usual venom in it.
His hands were held up, his cigarette gone, his eyes unusually gracious. “Just wanted to catch up for a minute,” he said. “We were friends once, you know. I may have fucked you over by getting it on with Naomi, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still give a shit on some level.”
“Trust me, you don’t have to give a shit about me,” I said, and made to leave, but he grabbed hold of my shoulder and pulled me back.
“Seriously, mate,” he said, and the familiarity in his tone smacked me in the gut. “You look like you’re fucking broken right the way through this week. I don’t get it. I really don’t get it. You’ve seemed so on fire for ages.”
“Forget it,” I said, but he shook his head.
“I know you think I’m a cunt, and I am. I fucked you over, and I’m sorry, but I really fucking love Naomi. She’s my fucking world. I can’t make apologies for that, no matter how much of a prick that makes me.”
“Good for you,” I said, and there was a tiny sliver of me that really did actually feel glad for him. Glad that the both of them could do alright on the togetherness front.
They may as well make the most of the outcome.
“Honestly,” he said. “We’re really trying to make this work, both with us and with the business. I’m so fucking sorry things are so shit between us, but we’re trying. We’re really trying to keep our efforts up to the max with business, you must see that? Surely you must see that?”
All I’d seen was Naomi being a bitch and Sean being a backhanded little prick, but my sight felt considerably more focused as I weighed it up afresh at the thought.
I’d hurt her for years. Really hurt her.
It may have been unintentional, but that didn’t matter shit, it was what it was.
I’d hurt her and put business ahead of her every day in forever, and there he was, a man standing before me. A man who was genuinely besotted with her. It was written all over his face.
“Naomi said you’re back with Maisie Moore from high school,” he said. “I’m glad you managed to get another shot. Hope it’s going well, I really do.”
My smirk couldn’t help itself. “Yes, well, sometimes business doesn’t allow for love to flow that easily. You should know that well enough yourself. Business comes first, or so it should do.”
He had a smirk of his own right back as he shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think so. Business is pretty high up there, sure, but not first before love. You maybe want to give yourself a bit of a shake if you’re carrying that bullshit belief set around with you.”
I laughed.
I actually fucking laughed.
I laughed at the prick giving me advice about any kind of business setups.
Until I didn’t.
Until my gut churned to a whole fresh bout of pain and I realised I had nothing worth shit without Maisie Moore on my arm, wherever that arm might be trying to drag her along to.
“You think we don’t know about the Hadley and Mason European rollout looming, don’t you?” he said, and took out another cigarette.
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” I pushed, but he waved it away.
“You think we haven’t heard plenty on the grapevine, don’t you? Believe me, there’s plenty of gossip running rife through this place.”
I let out another smirk, accepting another whole host of gossip in another small town populous, only this one was London-office based it seemed.
“You really still want us out of the business?” he pushed. “You really want us out for good and only you left to step up and handle the whole expansion? The whole development rollout? The whole new teams you’ll need to get in place?”
“Like I’ve got any choice what I rely on in this fucking place,” I snapped, and he held up his hands again.
“Fine,” he said. “But I’m just telling you, we may have fucked you over by getting together, but we’ve never fucked you over in business.”
“Stay the fuck out of everything I’m involved with,” I spat, and turned my back on him.
He was still puffing on his cigarette as I threw myself in my car and sped on out of there.
I hated the way there was some fucking truth in his words, in Naomi’s words, in the whole sorry situation I’d been a part of.
And the whole sorry situation I’d driven away from in Much Arlock last weekend.
I was so black and white. So focused. So structured and so ambitious. Always putting those aspects so far forward, beyond love, and compassion and acceptance.
Beyond people.
Beyond people’s truth and their fears and their mistakes and successes.
Beyond everything.
I hated how regimented I was that night, pacing around my hotel room and trying to bring myself back to some order. I hated how my pride burned bright at the prospect of pushing my business to a whole new level, a new level of handshakes and bringing in the money from every angle.
What about the free flowing imagination and the inventions I’d sketched out? What about the prospect of letting my brain run free to come to its own new ideas? Just like I’d been getting used to enjoying?
It was gone midnight by the time I dialled out on my next video call, my breaths pretty ragged as I watched the name flash up on screen, waiting for the connection.
But it wasn’t Maisie this time who’s smile greeted me at the answer.
It was Naomi’s nervous scowl, her eyes searching mine on the screen, clearly not having the slightest idea what the hell I’d be calling for, just that it must be something pretty fucking divisive.
“I think it’s time we had a conversation,” I said.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Maisie
It took everything I had to keep my mood bright and my smile on my face on the run up to Mum and Dad’s anniversary party.
Thirty years of awesome marriage, and I was absolutely determined to celebrate with them, even though my heart was in pieces. Kate and Amy had been to help me set up the community centre with banners and balloons, and Freddie had joined us, full of laughs and scoots around the dance floor as we did our best to make the place look like a winner.
I felt anything like a winner after a week of barely even sharing a text message with Ollie at night, but that was to be expected. The whole slam of heartbreak was to be expected. Of course it was to be expected.
Oliver Kent the high flier, all set to jet off for worldwide success, and me, sweet little Maisie Moore, pottering around in her small-town life just like she always had been.
I only wished there had been better cards on the table than this sad little disaster of us not working out.
Amy and Kate had been giving me the side eye all afternoon, coaxing me to drink up a sneaky glass of prosecco with them, but I didn’t want one. I didn’t want anything.
My belly was still churning up every five seconds and my heart was still aching, and I wasn’t hungry in the slightest, nor thirsty for any fizz. I just wanted him. Like I always wanted him.
But no.
It was never meant to be. Not permanently, anyway.
“Your mum and dad are going to love the party tonight,” Kate said as we reached mine again after locking up the community centre for later.
“They sure will,” I agreed and
let us on into my kitchen for a mug of tea.
It was Freddie who barged in alongside me and stared up with a sigh. “Shame Ollie isn’t coming,” he said. “Being in London sucks. He could’ve been finishing up the robot sidekick with me.”
Oh, how I wished he was.
I ruffled his hair, a fresh wave of upset strumming deep.
“We’ll have a good time,” I said. “You can dance around the place with Nan and Grandad, show them your moves.”
His grin was a beam. “Dad’s gonna be there too, right? He said so.”
I nodded. “I’m pretty sure he’s had an invite. You can dance around the place with him too.”
At least there was some tiny sliver of silver lining at the fact Ollie wouldn’t be with us. At least Rob’s invitation wouldn’t turn out to be a total minefield. I clung onto small gratitudes as best I could, but I let out a fresh sigh as I joined the girls at the kitchen table with the tea.
Freddie charged on through to the living room to start back up with the whizz sticks and I let my fake smile down a notch.
“Chin up,” Amy said. “It’s not completely wrecked yet. You’re still texting him, right?”
“Barely,” I replied. “He’s going to have loads on his plate with this new project stuff, keeping things going is just going to be stringing out the inevitable heartbreak.”
“Such a pity,” Kate said. “I really thought you two were going all the way this time. London visits here we came.”
I shrugged. “I don’t think London would have worked out all that great, not after months and months of me getting homesick for back here.” I sighed. “I’m not cut out for it, never was. My whole family tree stretches back here forever.”
The girls laughed. They’d heard it before. They’d always heard it before.
“Maybe we’ll have a round three in another decade,” I spoke aloud. “Maybe that’s going to be our final shot, when Freddie’s old enough to set up wherever he wants, and I’m free to chase Ollie wherever he wants me to chase him to.”
“You’re free to do that now,” Amy said. “You just don’t want to.”
She was right on that front. It really was my choice.
My choice to keep us amongst family and friends, deep in the heart of small-town life. My choice to keep me smiling at the locals over the checkout counter, and watching Freddie on the school sports field.
“It wouldn’t sit right with me,” I told them again. “Not in my heart. Not to take Freddie away from here.”
They nodded, but I wasn’t sure for a second they agreed. I could imagine both of them tutting away as they discussed how crazy I was turning down such a high flier lifestyle, but it was about so much more than that. It really was.
It was about me feeling right at home where we belonged.
I was just utterly devastated that once again Oliver Kent didn’t seem to belong here with me. Just as I didn’t seem to belong there with him.
Amy and Kate left me to it after we were done with teas, heading on back to their own places to get made up for the evening. I got Freddie suited up in his own little smart outfit, then left him watching a round of cartoons while I headed upstairs to freshen up myself.
I picked out one of my favourite dresses – a tasteful poppy patterned one to the knee, then gave myself a quick shower to freshen up, being sure to blow dry my hair nice and neatly.
The mirror was being pretty kind to me when I finished a dab of makeup, and I was ready to go, as ready as I’d ever be, another round of big, fake smiles on my face as I got Freddie into his coat and had us heading back over to the party.
Slowly but surely the community centre filled up just so. The buffet was out and looked just right, the disco booming loud with DJ Damian. The bar was all loaded up and ready to roll, and I was flitting about the place, kisses and hugs and handshakes at the ready, welcoming everyone along.
Amy and Kate showed up in good time, and Robbie skulked on in before Mum and Dad arrived, a few of his friends in tow as he settled himself down on one of the corner tables by the buffet.
Regular life. The whole place was bursting with regular life.
But it was a good life.
It really was a good life.
Especially when Mum and Dad arrived looking absolutely amazing, their grins incredible as they walked on in through the main doors.
Mum looked a picture in her light blue dress, her hair swept up beautifully. Dad was smart in one of his finest shirts, beaming as they stepped onto the main dance floor where all the cheers and party poppers were going off in celebration.
I joined in with cheers, so many cheers, and Freddie was jumping right beside me, cheering at the top of his lungs.
Yes. It was ok. Life really was ok.
The event was amazing. Mum and Dad’s happiness was amazing. Being here with so many close friends and family was amazing.
That’s what I told myself right the way through the buffet, and through dancing with Amy and Kate on the dance floor. That’s what I told myself as Robbie presented me with a glass of prosecco and told me it was a fucking good party.
I only wished it could have been a whole load better.
Mum grabbed me for a dance as the evening swept on, and I laughed and joked and smiled with her. I forced down the pang in my heart as DJ Damian’s music choice slowed down a bit, and couples took to the floor, gazing eye to eye as their hands wrapped tight around each other.
And I felt so alone.
So totally and utterly alone.
I had mixed tears springing, and wiped them aside with my smile still bright. Half of them bursting in love and pride at my parents’ love and happiness. Half of them pining over the love I’d been craving with all my soul.
I swayed to the music, and pushed myself into the shadows at the side of the dance floor, and hoped I was invisible to the bulk of the room, not wanting anyone to see me.
That worked just fine until the ripple of people’s attention swept me up. Faces fixed on me, nudging each other. People smiling and whispering, and gesturing in my direction, and I felt so exposed, so on display, with no idea truly why.
Until he was there.
My gorgeous man in a gorgeous suit, with the same trademark tuft of messy hair rising up on his head.
He was approaching through the gathered crowd of people, the disco lights dancing all around him, and my jaw dropped open, not quite believing it. Not until he was right there in front of me, with a huge bunch of roses in his arms.
“Sometimes people can be real idiots,” he said, and his smirk was at full radiance as he handed me the flowers. “Luckily I worked out what a real idiot I could be before the party was over. I’d hate to have missed out on a dance.”
“What?” I asked, still smiling dumb and trying to make sense of what was happening.
“I’m here for you,” he said. “In Much Arlock with the girl who belongs here, it appears I really must belong here too. I got here as soon as I could, I just had some things I needed to juggle.”
I couldn’t stop myself trembling, my eyes not quite believing it, and tears were springing up, my breath catching in my throat.
“You belong in Much Arlock? With me?” I asked, my voice shuddery.
His nod was as strong as his smirk. “Oh yes,” he said. “I belong wherever you are, Maisie Moore, and I’ve made all the provisions already. It would appear you’re now stuck with me, I just hope you’re ready to have me around.”
I couldn’t stop nodding. Couldn’t stop smiling. Couldn’t stop crying as I handed Amy my roses and threw myself into Oliver Kent’s arms.
“I love you,” I sobbed. “I really, really love you. I’m ready to have you around forever, no matter what.”
My lips pressed to his, and a whole fresh round of cheers started up, and one of those was Freddie’s, I heard it loud and clear.
Ollie was grinning super bright as I held him tight, not wanting to ever let him go, not for a single heartbeat.
; “I can’t believe this is happening,” I whispered as people turned their attention back to the dance floor. “I really can’t believe this is happening.”
“You’d better believe it,” he said. “It’s taken me some doing to get back down here so quick sharp, I promise.”
“I’m so glad you could make it,” I said. “The night’s going to be amazing now. Really amazing.”
He kissed my forehead before snaking a hand down to my side and taking hold of my fingers.
“Let’s dance,” he said.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Oliver
I was still reeling from my massive turnaround, my whole system still stirred up like crazy over all the changes I’d been making, but there was no doubt about it. I was absolutely, wholeheartedly, without any doubt making the right steps forward.
Having Maisie Moore in my arms, her eyes welled up with tears of utter joy, was every dream of mine in one.
She was my world, my temptress, my sweetheart. My inspiration, my love, my everything.
Being here with her, at her parents’ pearl wedding anniversary at the heart of Much Arlock life was every scrap of fulfilling within my soul. I spun her around that dance floor, holding her tight, my smile matching hers with every sway.
And just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, that awesome young lad of hers charged on up and threw his arms around the pair of us.
“I knew you’d be here!” he called up to me, and I pulled him close. “This is better than London, right?”
“That sure is right,” I said to him, but my eyes were burning on Maisie’s. “This is definitely better than London.”
Maisie used the opportunity to lean down to him just a little, her arms holding him tight too. “You’re pleased Ollie is here with us?” she asked. “I hope you are, because he’s going to be with us a lot more from now on. Is that ok?”
Fred’s nod was a relief. “Yeah,” he said. “Whizz sticks are cool. We’ve got loads to be making.”
