*** *** ***
After he rashly drove all the way to Norfolk from Falls Church, Ben had to concede he had underestimated the effect seeing the infamous Dr. Logan again would have on him. He peeked in the conference room where her morning seminar was already in session and saw her talking to at least three or four hundred of her professional peers.
To avoid attracting attention, Ben filled out a nametag from the table outside the door, hastily adding Dr. to his last name on the tag. He entered quietly and took a seat in the last row.
Regina was wearing a bright blue suit today, a deeper blue than her eyes. Both sides of her long red hair were pulled back and tamed by a single clip. She wore black reading glasses, peering at the audience over them each time she glanced up from her notes.
Her speech was certainly no country club comedy routine about sex and aging. Today she was talking about the benefits of self-gratification for women who had suffered sexual violence or abuse. Ben listened somberly to Regina’s very graphic but poetic explanation of the value of self-love when you couldn’t bring yourself to let someone else love you.
He noticed no one in the room checked email or looked at their phones or did anything else but listen while Regina was speaking. Some people murmured in clusters, while others nodded in agreement with what she was saying. Not only did Regina see the truth for what it was, she verbally insisted everyone else wake up and see it. In one way or another, all the people in the room were affected by what she was sharing.
While Ben didn’t have the credentials of the others in the room, he wasn’t stupid either. On some level, he was just as enthralled as everyone else by her astounding belief in herself and the value of what she was sharing. Seeing her speaking professionally produced the same effect seeing her always had on him, just for a different reason. As he listened, he was forming some new conclusions about Regina.
Regina was not someone who touched a person’s life like a hummingbird looking for nectar as nourishment before flying away. No, she was more like a honeybee seeking nectar for a higher purpose, and one not afraid to use her stinger if something or someone got in the way of what she wanted.
Ben sighed deeply as he studied Regina’s earnest face. Lust and respect warred inside him, unlikely combatants in the war he was having with himself about the wisdom of wanting to be with her.
“I feel for you,” a man at his right whispered. “I used to have a giant crush on Dr. Logan myself.”
Ben looked at the man. The young doctor talking about Regina couldn’t be more than thirty-five. Ben blinked a few times as he processed the comments. His face was probably as revealing today as it had been in the picture taken last evening. He supposed there was no disguising what he truly felt about Regina, especially not to experts trained in looking for such things.
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” the young man continued, “but Dr. Logan doesn’t date men from any profession related to hers. I think she had a bad experience in her thirties with a guy who stole her research. She sued him for a printed professional apology, and then wrote a bestseller with the material. Dr. Logan’s a got a reputation for having brass balls.”
Ben wanted to laugh at the man’s seriousness, but didn’t.
“Yes,” Ben said agreeably, “I did hear she had quite a pair.”
He just didn’t add he’d heard it from Regina herself. He thought it might break the man’s heart further.
After the speech was over, Ben floated in the large crowd for the rest of the morning and again all afternoon, keeping his distance so Regina wouldn’t see him. He learned a lot about her professionally just by talking and listening to others.
Eventually, Ben ended up in a room where he even purchased one of her books. Maybe he’d work up the nerve someday to actually read it. Finally, Ben decided it was time to let her know he was there. He found her in the hall talking animatedly to two people.
Regina stopped talking when he walked up.
Ben grinned at her shock. “Dr. Logan? Hello, I’m Ben Kaiser. So nice to finally meet you,” he said, extending his hand and smiling into her eyes.
Regina shook his hand automatically, which made his grin even wider. Ben was momentarily tempted to say gotcha, but feared she might actually take a swing at him for it, onlookers or not.
“Did you have a question for me, Dr. Kaiser?” Regina asked Ben, her gaze dropping to his name tag.
Regina hoped her expression was challenging, because that was all the defense she had left. She was happy to see Ben standing here smiling at her, but at the same time she didn’t trust his sudden appearance either. When Ben kept Regina’s hand instead of letting it drop, she gently yanked to free herself, but he didn’t let go. The two other people looked nervous at the less than cordial exchange.
Ben just smiled, his body priming itself with energy as it tightened for the fight. When the inevitable anger at being controlled lit Regina’s eyes again, it pretty much sealed the deal for him. He would just have to figure out the rest of the issues as they went along.
Regina watched Ben’s eyes darken from chips of emeralds to the color of a stormy sea. Some instinct warned her that Ben in this strange mood might not be someone she wanted to antagonize.
“Will you have dinner with me later?” Ben finally asked, using a thumb to stroke her now passive hand in his.
Regina felt panic first, but it was followed rapidly by acceptance. Resisting only made him more determined, she knew. She had already discovered Ben wouldn’t run from a fight.
“Fine,” she agreed, snatching her hand away as Ben finally eased his grip.
“I’ll just wait while you finish your conversation. Sorry I interrupted,” Ben said, apologizing to her companions.
Walking a short distance away, he stayed near enough to hear them talking. He could feel Regina’s stare the whole time. Finally, Ben felt Regina’s hand touch his back.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Regina demanded.
Her mouth was cursing him, Ben decided, but her eyes were pleading with him to be kind.
“I’m trying to make peace with your professional side,” Ben told her, using Lauren’s words, which he had concluded aptly described the situation.
Ben waited patiently while Regina seemed to absorb the idea for a few moments.
“Well, is it working?” Regina demanded finally.
Ben heard some hurt in the question, and a bit of anger below it. It didn’t put him off at all.
“I’m impressed so far,” he told Regina sincerely. “I have also been diagnosed with a crush on you and warned off.”
“Warned off?” Regina asked, surprised. “From doing what?”
“Asking you out—I’m told you don’t date men in your profession,” Ben said sadly, trying to sound regretful, like he knew he’d missed his chance.
“Well—it’s true, I guess,” Regina admitted cautiously, but she hadn’t realized it was a well-known fact.
Ben peeled off his fake nametag and stuck it on Regina’s front instead, making a big production out of patting her chest in the process, deliberating sliding his hand down across her breast while she watched. Maybe he had a little game left in him even at fifty. He sighed dramatically as Regina laughed at his ruse.
“If that’s true,” Ben said quietly so only Regina could hear, “then I’m really glad I’m not a doctor. I chased you to Norfolk hoping like hell to get laid tonight.”
Regina looked at the Dr. Kaiser nametag stuck on her suit front, and then back at Ben. He was charming, fun, and lethally handsome. As afraid of getting hurt as she was, Regina wasn’t dumb enough to send Ben Kaiser away after he’d come all the way to Norfolk to see her. His persistence alone made Ben worth the emotional risk.
“Well then, looks like we’re both going to get lucky tonight,” Regina told him, her gaze dancing with her decision as she hooked her arm through his.
People all around them stared openly, some in blatant open-mouthed shock. Ben could only sm
ile at the possessiveness of Regina’s hand on his arm.
Chapter 3
In the hotel restaurant, Regina felt her system settle down some once drinks were on the table. She lifted her glass and took a third of it in one big gulp. Then she noticed Ben was watching her very closely.
“I know. Every time you see me, I’m drinking. I swear I’m not a lush. I’ve just had a stressful few months.” Regina pushed her glass away slightly to prove her point.
“I wasn’t judging,” Ben denied, smiling. “Just wondering if you did everything with the same level of enthusiasm.”
“Pretty much,” she replied easily, relieved by his smile and downing another third of the drink. She laughed even more when Ben motioned to the server to bring another round.
“You should probably know I’m a desperate man after two weeks. I’m not above getting you drunk and taking advantage,” Ben said, liking the way she laughed at his teasing.
“Wait until I tell Lauren how wrong she was about you being a nice guy,” Regina said on a laugh.
“Oh, I am a nice guy,” Ben explained. “Even nice guys get desperate now and again.”
Regina waved a hand and laughed. “Plying me with alcohol is totally unnecessary, though I do appreciate it. I don’t play coy. However, I am going to make you buy me dinner first. Just because I want you in my bed doesn’t mean you’re allowed to think I’m easy. Truth is I’m picky as hell.”
Ben raised an eyebrow. He figured they’d have to have this conversation. It had just come up sooner than he’d anticipated.
“Picky, huh? Can I ask how many men you’ve been picky about?” Ben asked lightly, steeling his nerves for the answer.
“Five,” Regina said starkly without counting. She finished the last of her drink, winking at Ben over the rim of her empty glass. “Hello, number six.”
The shock was too great for Ben to hide his stunned reaction from her, and he suddenly felt better about his masculinity for getting this far.
Regina wasn’t offended by Ben’s shock. Countless dates not ending in bed had taught her to laugh in the face of disbelief. This also wasn’t the first time she’d had this conversation with a potential lover. No man had truly believed her so far. Why should Ben be any different?
“Okay. Now it’s your turn, Ben. How many women have graced your bed?” Regina asked in return, eyes daring him to answer honestly.
Ben looked at the ceiling and pretended to count to a large number, until he heard her laugh. “Four,” he said at last, meeting her gaze directly. “Hello, number five.”
Regina set her empty glass down, mouth agape as she stared at him. “Four? Don’t you have any mirrors in your house? Have you seen yourself?” she asked.
Ben shrugged, pleased to know Regina considered him attractive. He was also very pleased with the way he had lived his life.
“I was married and faithful for twenty-five years. Catherine’s only been dead for six months. The others before her were the typical high school and college stuff,” Ben explained. “At fifty, I’m not interested in sowing any more wild oats, and I’ve never been into one night stands. I think the best sexual relationships take a little time to perfect.”
“Wow. You were married and faithful for twenty-five years? I hope your wife appreciated you,” Regina said reverently, twisting the stem of her empty glass. “Do you still miss her?”
Ben looked at Regina, wondering what to say. Regina reached out and put a hand over his. “Nothing you say will make me change my mind about being with you tonight. I envy you your long-term relationship. My marriage only lasted seven years.”
Ben placed a hand over Regina’s, amazed to find comfort in the touch. “Yes. Sometimes I miss her. We were together a very long time. I lost her little by little to a terrible illness over a period of several years. The worst of my grief was over long before she died.”
Ben paused. “Would it seem hard and cold of me to say the woman I buried was not the one I married? I prefer to remember the happier times of our life.”
Regina shook her head. “No, Ben. It doesn’t make you cold at all. I think it just makes you human. I imagine your wife would rather be remembered that way herself.”
“I absolutely know she would,” Ben said firmly.
Regina smiled and pulled her hand from his. “Well, you’re good then. My first two lovers were wonderful experiences, but lousy timing. Then in my mid-thirties I married lover number three and my sex life took a serious nosedive.”
Regina twirled her glass as she talked. “After getting married, I only had sex five times over the following seven years. All five were in the first year and half. My ex-husband made me the woman you see today because everything I did for many, many years was to try and figure out what was wrong with us. By the time I gave up and divorced Gerald, I was over forty and outspoken enough about sex to scare most men away.”
She paused for dramatic effect and to make sure Ben was paying attention before delivering the last bit of information.
“The last two men both ran screaming from my bed, one during and one after. The last time I tried to be intimate with someone was probably a year ago. Stop me if I’m scaring you, Ben.”
Ben looked at Regina and laughed out loud, drawing the attention of the other diners. The only thing he was scared about was keeping up with her. If Regina Logan followed through on even half of the desire he felt radiating from her, he’d be too exhausted to run from the bed. There, Ben thought with another laugh, one problem solved as far as he was concerned.
“You’re laughing at me now Ben, but I carry condoms all the time and have no problems recommending male enhancement drugs if I feel they are needed,” Regina said more gently.
Ben laughed more softly and just shook his head. How could he explain his reaction to her? Maybe it was his whole history with Catherine. He knew what it took to have a good sex life. He didn’t for a moment doubt his ability to please her in bed. What had come before he touched Regina simply wasn’t going to be an issue for him. He wasn’t quite sure how it would work, but being with her still felt like the right thing. For Ben, instinct was enough to build on.
Reaching out, he took Regina’s hand when her second drink arrived. He waited until she had the drink to her lips before speaking. He smiled and winked, delighted when she choked a bit. He absolutely loved knowing he could unnerve her.
“Okay. I’m not laughing anymore,” Ben said, still smiling. “I heard your lectures today and realize how straightforward you are about sex. So let’s get some things settled. First, I’ll buy my own condoms because you probably don’t have the right size to fit me. That’s not bragging, just a fact—but it probably needs to be said up front.”
Ben fought not to laugh at the excitement in her gaze.
“Next, I’m going to be very bold and suggest—given both our limited sexual histories and the last time we had partners—that we don’t even need to use the condoms unless it’s important to you or you could still get pregnant. Quite frankly, I want to take the intimacy risk with you. I think it’s going to communicate very clearly that I believe everything you have ever said to me about who you are and what you have and have not done,” Ben told her. “I want to trust you and I want you to trust me, Regina.”
He picked up her hand with the ugly watch attached to the wrist, and sucked a finger into his mouth. Ben watched her eyes grow dark as midnight as he tasted the flavor of her drink and her. They both shivered when he groaned.
Ben let her finger go reluctantly, and then let her hand rest alone again on the table as well. Regina whimpered then, saying his name so softly Ben could barely hear it, but his erection answered the whispered plea. By now, he was getting used to being semi-hard around Regina most of the time, so he was able to pick up the dinner menu and start looking over it.
“The last and most important thing I need to say is that I want you more than any woman I’ve ever known. But seriously, Dr. Logan, if I take a drug that keeps me going for ho
urs and hours, I may damage us both trying to get my fill of you in one night. I’ll try to keep an open mind about it if you insist,” Ben said, calling her bluff, pretending he was more interested in ordering food. “Do you know if the steak is good?”
Regina’s hand trembled as she raised the drink to her lips and sipped. Ben had to work extremely hard at not laughing at Regina’s melted form. He couldn’t help feeling damn proud of himself for managing to destroy her impressive composure at last.
“I don’t know about the steak,” Regina said, clearing her throat and looking for her dignity. “I’m mostly a vegetarian, but meat doesn’t offend me. Please eat what you like.”
“Mostly vegetarian, huh? Looks like I’m learning all kinds of things about you today,” Ben said companionably, smiling at her again.
After dinner, they walked to the hotel lobby together. Regina excused herself and went to the front desk. She came back and pressed a room key card into Ben’s hand. “I have to attend a late workshop panel I promised to mediate. If you still want to stay, I should be finished by ten.”
“Are you sure?” Ben asked, eyes serious even if his tone was teasing. “I wouldn’t blame you for having some doubts. I know I get traumatized about having to commit to a new toothbrush. I hadn’t really thought about what would happen if you actually said yes and let me stay.”
“Well, this is me saying yes. I want you to stay,” she told him, laughing at his teasing. She reached out to kiss him quickly. Ben leaned into her to return the kiss, but pulled back quickly as well.
Later, he promised himself. Later. Then he was going to have all he wanted of her.
Regina dashed off smiling, while Ben stared for long moments at the key card in his hand. He bought toothpaste, a toothbrush, condoms, and a change of underwear from the lobby store before heading up.
In Regina’s room, he lay down on her bed, using the side not containing the clothes she had obviously shed from the night before. Picking them up, Ben inhaled the scent of her. It made him both restless and brought him peace. He folded and laid them next to his head on the pillow, turned his face into them, and fell straight to sleep.
Dating Dr Notorious Page 5
