by K. T Fisher
She types away on her phone and then holds it to her ear.
"Jess?..... Have you heard from Kendal?..... I can't get hold of her......No he hasn't.....Is she OK?.......Can I come round?.......OK then, I'll see you then, bye"
She sits down on a huff.
"So?"
Rhys scowls at me.
"She's over at Sam and Jess's house. There taking her home, Sam had her phone just encase you had her number but I told her you haven't. All the girls are going over at 7:00 tomorrow night to have a drink together."
"Why that late?"
"She has work all day and then she has Finley."
Sophie shrugs her shoulders like it's obvious. Finley? Is this her new boyfriend? Well I will see to that, Kendal's mine and nobody else is having her.
"Is it OK if I stay here tonight?"
Sophie looks u to me and smiles, her tears are now gone.
"Of course Jax, your room is always ready for you."
"Thanks, I'm going up now. Could you let her know I want to see her tomorrow?"
She nods and looks away, Rhys gives me a head nod and I go to the room that Sophie calls mine. I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight but I suddenly feel worn out.
Chapter 16
~Kendal~
Jessica and Sam brought me back home and I'm now on my own, lying in my bed thanks to Jessica. I don't know why I stopped in front of their house but when I did I just sat there in shock. It took ten minutes for a worried Sam to carry me out the car. I couldn't even tell them for a while, I just sat there in silence ignoring them but then I realized I was scaring them and causing them to worry about me so I came clean with everything.
When my phone rings it makes me jump in the bed. I see it's Sophie and I think about rejecting her call but then I've already missed three calls from her and it makes me feel like a shit friend. Sophie wasn't to know about me and Jax, I kept it from her and she understandably kept Rhys from all of us. We did it for the same reasons, to keep our loved ones safe, with that in mind I answer her call.
"Kendal thank god, I've been so worried. Are you mad? I totally understand, I'm so sorry. I didn't know Rhys told Jax to come until after I asked you to come. I'm so sorry Kendal."
I decide to stop Sophie ranting.
"Sophie, it's fine. There's nothing to worry about, I'm just shocked that's all."
"I can understand that. Look I don't want to tell you this but Jax told me to ask you if you will see him tomorrow. He wants to meet you before the wedding."
Well I can understand that but it's still allot to get my had around at the minute, I tell Sophie and she says she understands but I get the feeling she thinks I should meet him. I respect her for not telling Jax the road me and Jess live on, even though she knew Jax first she still holds our special sister bond.
"Ya know, he still loves you Kendal. He talks to me about you all the time. His never gotten over you, I love him like a brother so I feel a little protective of him. I know he wants you back, just don't break his heart again please. I know you have this bond with Finley's dad and then there's Harley."
I feel a little angry at what she has just said but who can blame her? If that was one of my guys I would be exactly the same. He has spoken to Sophie about me? He hasn't forgotten all about me? It that true? I feel guilty that Sophie doesn't know that Finley's dad is Jax. I think I will have to tell her tomorrow. Not over the phone.
"Are you coming with the girls tomorrow?"
"Of course , I will definitely be there. Will I finally get to meet the gorgeous Finley?"
"Yes you can finally meet him and I might as well start on your nails for Saturday."
We say our goodbyes and I lay in bed waiting for sleep to finally overtake me.
*~*~*
My phone alarm wakes me up at 7:00 the next morning and I jump up despite my tiredness. Today I'm going to see my gorgeous little boy! I am so excited I feel like jumping around and screaming. I quickly get ready in my work gear, black leggings and purple vest top
a black maxi dress and shove my hair up in a messy ponytail. Basic make-up and I'm good to go, I groan in frustration when I realize my car is still outside Jessica's so I quick walk to her house and hurry to my parents. I arrive at 7:15 and walk straight into their house. All thoughts of last night are long forgotten right now. When I enter the house the first words I hear are,
"Mama juice pleeese."
"Okie Finley."
"And biscuits."
I hear my dad laughing.
"I thought you wanted ceriel Fin?"
"Kay Grandad, Mama ceriel too pleeese."
Oh my god I've missed that so much. I quickly sneak past the stairs so Finley can't see me and sit at my parents kitchen table. I hear them come downstairs and I'm practically bouncing in my chair. Finley is the first one to walk into the kitchen and his eyes quickly scan the kitchen and then jump back to me realizing I'm sat here with a huge grin plastered on my face. I start to cry at the look on his face, I have missed my son so much!
"Mummy!"
He screams at the top of his voice and runs towards me, I open my arms and wrap them tightly around him. I'm sobbing when his tucked in my arms. I've not seen him for four nights, it feels like I haven't been breathing without him because now I feel so relieved to have him in my arms.
"Oh god Finley I missed you so much."
"I miss you mummy."
I pull him back so I can look at his perfect little face. He has tears in his eyes and my heart brakes.
"Oh honey whats the matter?"
"I miss you mummy."
His voice breaks and he buries his face back into my neck and holds on tight to me. My heart just broke a little more.
"Oh baby! I missed you so much. Your sleeping in my bed tonight because I want to cuddle you all night."
He pulls away and wipes at his eyes. His face lights up in a big smile.
"I like your bed."
"I no you do gorgeous."
He sits on my knee and eats his breakfast, not wanting to be away from me. I didn't think he would cry when he saw me, my mum told me he was fine all the time. He probably was but then seeing me now made him realize how much he missed me. I help him get dressed after he has picked his clothes and when we go back downstairs his back to his usual self. He watches cartoons for fifteen minutes before we leave for his school and then my work.
"Kendal I'm so jealous of you tan. Were you only there two nights?"
"I know, we've all caught the sun. It was so hot there but a lot of fun."
On that note my mum wants to know everything so I give her an edited version knowing my dad is listening in even though he looks like his not bothered in the conversation.
*~*~*
Today at work was such a drag and Tanya kept staring at me like I was going to break down at any minute. But on the plus side my last booking canceled so I got one of the nail girls to do my nails for me so mine were all done already and I can show the girls what there going to look like. They fit in with the sparkle theme from our dresses and shoes. There a navy glitter polish and the nail next to the little finger is white and silver glitter that twinkles in the light. Very pretty. I shout 'see you later' to Tanya and leave to go and fetch Finley from school. Were going to spend a few hours on our own before the girls come over. I have been thinking about what Sophie had said on the phone all day. Should I meet Jax, I do think it's a good idea but I can't imagine seeing him again. Do I tell him about Finley tonight , if I met him or do I wait until after the wedding? I can't take Finley to the wedding because of this, it will take everything away from Sophie and Rhys' big day. So my mum has already agreed to spend the night at my house with Finley seeing as his spent a while from his house so far.
Chapter 17
Me and Finley spend the rest of the afternoon playing and catching with on our cuddles.
"Finley is it OK if you stay at home with mama instead of the wedding tomorrow?"
"Yes, I want to st
ay home mummy. Logan said weddings are boring and people kiss."
He makes a disgusted look on his face. Appalled with the thought of people kissing. Well that was easy.
"The girls are coming tonight Fin, I have to do there nails."
He looses interest and nods as he look back to the TV. I decide to text Sophie.
ME: Soph, what did Jax have in mind?
SOPHIE: Dinner? Or would u rather just meet and talk?
This is tricky, could I eat in front of him? I would be nervous as hell, what if I was sick? Meet up and talk? That means it's just us two, talking. That could be awkward, I know dinner could be awkward to but at least I could eat to fill silences and we wouldn't be alone.
ME: Dinner, if thats OK? What time?
It's about fifteen minutes before I get a text back.
SOPHIE: He will pick you up at 9.30, wear a nice dress and
heels, I have a feeling his booked to impress u honey. I need ur address x
I text her back to tell her Tanya is picking her up at 6:00 because I want them to come sooner now I'm meeting Jax. His taking me somewhere to impress me? He doesn't need to impress me, I loved him before he had anything. I hope he hasn't changed and become a male diva. I think about how I'm going to tell Sophie, I do need to tell her. She's going to see Finley tonight, when she looks at him she's going to see.
An hour later I get Finley ready for bed, his bedtime is 7:00 because it's a school night. At 6:00 there's a knock on the door and I know it's going to be Jessica. When I open she door I'm swallowed by tiny arms and held tight.
"Oh Kendal how are you?"
"Fine."
"I'm been worried all day."
"Jess I'm fine."
She holds me back and narrows her eyes at me.
"You're fine?"
"Yea, I've had time to get used to it and I'm meeting Jax at 9:30."
Before she can say anything Finley runs up to Jessica and we move into the living room. Not long after Maisy shows and then I see Tanya's car pull up. When I see Sophie I get all nervous. I have already told the girls we need to tell Sophie so we all decided if she says anything about Finley looking like Jax then I will come clean. If not I will tell her in the morning. I jumped in the shower once Jessica turned up and then blow dried it so I'm nearly ready for Jax. Tanya just walks straight in like what she normally does and I see Sophie behind her. She looks a little awkward so I walk straight up to her and grab her in a hug. I hear her sniff a few times, I know she has shed a few tears. I give her a smile and kiss her on her forehead. She giggles and I know everything is fine but I don't know for how long. I hear Finley laugh in the living room and Sophie looks in the direction, I know she's dying to meet him. I've denied her this long so I take her by the hand and lead her into the living room. I notice when we step into the living room Sophies body goes stiff a little. Finley is laughing at Jessica, his wearing his gray pajamas, there gray with red and black guitars all over. I get Finley's attention and he walks over a little shyly because he doesn't know Sophie.
"Finley this is my friend Sophie I told you about."
He looks to think for a minute and then he smiles his mega wat smile at Sophie.
"Hi Sophie."
"Hi Finley."
Her voice sounds high pitched and croaky. Finley runs back to Maisy and Jessica so I look back over my shoulder at Sophie. Her eyes are wide and look like they have tears in them and her mouth is hanging open a little. Yep, she knows. How could she not when he gave her the typical charming Jax smile.
"Soph?"
She tears her eyes away from Finley and looks at me.
"Kendal?"
I look over to Maisy and Jessica who have both stood up. Maisy takes hold of Finley's hand.
"Come on biddy, lets go and play in your room."
"Okay, I show you my guitar!"
She gives me a wink as she passes and I lead Sophie onto the sofa in the middle of me and Jessica. Tanya sits on the chair closest to me and pats my hand in support.
"W-when did you leave Jax?"
I swallow hard, she's piecing it together.
"Four years ago."
She nods.
"And how old is Finley?"
I clear my throat.
"His four next month."
She nods her head and then slowly looks at me dead in the eye.
"How could you that Kendal? This is what his wanted all these years. His been lost without you."
I hang my head in shame, I feel like shit. This is making me feel like shit and it's only going to be worse when I finally tell Jax. I tell Sophie every feeling in detail, my thoughts on why I did this and every memory I remember from when I saw those two lines on that test and then to now, where I know I have made a mistake and I do regret it but I still stand by my decision. I don't think Jax would have reached his dream if I would have told him I was pregnant four years ago. When I have finished talking everyone's quiet apart from Finley shouting and laughing from his bedroom upstairs. I have been looking down at the floor while I have been talking and I know I a tear stained face but I look up anyway. Jessica is looking sadly at me with tears in her eyes and Tanya is looking at Sophie but I see Tanya has shed a few tears. I finally look at Sophie, scared at what I will see but what I see surprises me. She's looking at me with such pity in her eyes, her face is wet with her tears and her hand is clutching her heart.
"Oh my god Kendal, I'm so sorry honey! Come here."
She wraps her arms around me and when she does I cry in her arms and then I hear Sophie crying too. When we have stopped and are tear free we smile at each other and Sophie smooths my hair.
"Are you going to tell him tonight?"
"I don't know, I was thinking maybe meeting him after your wedding and telling him. I don't want there to be an atmosphere for Saturday."
"True, as much as I don't like it I won't say anything until you do. Only if you promise to tell him by Tuesday the latest. Or I will tell him."
"I promise."
"I'm happy you have told me though. He looks exactly like him, it's unreal."
We talk about Finley and then I realize it's time for Finley to go to bed. So I shout him down and Sophie looks a little nervous. Finley strolls in like nothing has happened and sits on my knee.
"It's time to say goodnight to everyone buddy."
"Ohhhhh"
He pouts his sad face and I see Sophie copy his facial expression.
"Say night to the girls."
We both stand and he gives Jessica, Maisy and Tanya a hug and a kiss and then he gets to Sophie. There both looking a little awkward, not knowing what to do.
"Give Sophie a hug and a kiss Finley."
He does and I see Sophie close her eyes and smile. This makes me a little excited to tell Jax. I get my nail kit out in the kitchen and Tanya starts Sophie's nails while I go and read Finley his bed time story. As soon as his asleep I look in my wardrobe, I don't know what to wear and I'm starting to freak out. I'm seeing Jax in about two hours! I go downstairs and Sophie frowns at me when I reach the bottom of the stairs. I'm still in my black leggings and black best top.
"Where's your dress?"
"I don't know what to wear."
I sit down opposite Jessica and start to do her nails identical to mine. When I've finished Tanya has started on Maisy's nails so I go and fetch my make-up and mirror so I can have a drink with my girls downstairs while I'm getting ready. At 8:30 my make-up is looking flawless, my eyes are looking the best I have done them in a long time. Probably because I'm not rushing to do my favourite cat eyeliner flick. Tanya is straightening my hair now, poor Tan is the only one who hasn't had her nails done but I can do them at work tomorrow so no panic. I feel guilty that I'm skanking them to go and meet Jax but they all give me devilish smiles.
"What?"
Jessica claps softly.
"I can't believe you're going to see him Kendal."
"I'm so happy for you Kendal."
Tanya frowns at Mais
y.
"Why? She's a nervous wreck, she hasn't seen him for four years and she has his secret child. She's going to clear the air with him for Sophie's sake. Even if she does still love him s-"
Sophie gasps..
"You still love him?"
Well I thought that was obvious wasn't it? I just nod instead, I don't know what to say. Sophie looks like she's going to cry.
