by Lily Zante
“See you around,” she said instead.
“Bye,” was Matt’s only response and Melissa prayed that Ethan hadn’t noticed anything untoward in this exchange.
Matt took Melissa’s hand as they waited silently for the elevator.
“It would be nice, going out with them,” said Melissa.
“Who’s he?” Matt asked once they were in the elevator going down.
“Nadine’s boyfriend, I just introduced you.” Her body tensed in preparation for his onslaught. He was in a mood for it, she could tell, could almost pick up on his negative vibe. It was odd how she’d suddenly become so in tune with Matt’s mood swings.
“You seemed very friendly with him.”
She jerked her head towards him. Up until now she’d been staring miserably at the closed doors, waiting for him to start something. “He’s a friend.”
“A little too friendly for my liking.”
“He’s Nadine’s boyfriend. He’s someone I know through her.” A shot of anger sparked through her, yet fear kept her response neutral.
When the doors opened, they walked out, hands apart. Melissa gave the security guard a friendly nod of her head on her way out.
“Do you have to be so friendly with everyone?” They stood in the dark, outside the gleaming, shiny, lit-up office building, which looked like a beacon reaching towards the midnight blue sky.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she shot back, unable to keep her anger down. She was part liquid, part fire with him, most times. She’d analyzed things between them enough to come to this conclusion. She was fluid, doing, going, bending to his will, without even being conscious that she was doing so. He’d find a way to always get what he wanted. And occasionally, the part of her true to herself, the essence of who she was, wouldn’t lie still. And she’d bite back.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” he warned.
“And don’t you talk to me like that.” It was the first time she’d ever challenged him so directly and with such vehemence. Fighting to dull her anger, her mind raced ahead to the remainder of their evening.
More hours of misery loomed.
Not a good way to start if they were meeting Heather at Zoot, a new bar a few blocks away. She attempted peace, and placed her hand tenderly on his arm. “Ethan is with Nadine. We were only talking. You’re the guy I’m dating.” He tugged his crossed arm away from her touch and looked out on the road. But she was desperate for this evening to go well. His immediate agreement had been a total shock when she’d made the suggestion to him that they meet her roommate.
“I’m sorry.”
She attempted to gently uncross his arm. He turned to her slowly, with an empty stare. “I don’t want to lose you, Mel. But sometimes, you make me so mad.”
She slipped her hand down until she met his and held it.
“I don’t want to be jealous, but I can’t stand to see you with someone else.” His voice was flat.
“It’s okay.” She couldn’t give him any reassurances when she didn’t feel them herself. But it touched her to see him, someone so arrogant and so sure of himself, crumple as he had before her. Why was he so insecure?
“I’m crazy about you,” he told her.
“Me too,” she replied, because there were no other words she could pull out of the air at this moment that would sound genuine. He moved his head toward her, and she closed her eyes, letting him kiss her. She pulled back first and looked deep into his eyes.
“Let’s go and meet Heather. She’s looking forward to it.”
Chapter 8
They sat across the monochrome table in uncomfortable silence waiting for Heather.
Zoot was filling up quickly with sharp-dressed, happy people looking for a liquid buzz at the end of a work day.
“How much longer are we going to wait?” Irritated, Matt threw back his coke. He didn’t drink during the weekdays owing to his strict diet and fitness routine during the week. He let up a little on Friday and Saturday nights. He’d looked at her with disapproval when she’d ordered her a daiquiri.
Scratching her neck, she looked around yet again. Come on Heather. Melissa swore in her head. No sign of her.
“She’ll be here soon. She’s got farther to come,” Melissa reminded him. She let her fingers trail around the tip of her glass. She’d been looking forward to going out tonight, until the encounter with Ethan. Now she wished she hadn’t arranged this evening at all. It would have been easier to go home alone.
She had a lot of things to think about and quiet time at home would help clear her head.
Because sometimes, lately, single life appealed.
She couldn’t take on another person’s mood swings; it had been far easier to handle her own low points. But Matt was something else. She wasn’t used to dealing with behavior so menacing, so crass, so cruel.
What had once seemed wild and daring now threatened her.
She glanced at her watch again, letting out a sigh. So far she was only about half an hour late, something that shouldn’t be too much of a problem, not for two people who were supposed to enjoy each other’s company and would have ordinarily relished the time they had alone together.
“I can’t stay long. I’m missing out on my run.” He made it sound as though she’d asked him to do some painful chore instead of meet a friend for a social drink.
“Are you coming to the gym tomorrow?” he asked her, his frown indicating that he didn’t expect her to. The gym wasn’t too bad, she realized suddenly—it was his presence that she had begun to dread. His sullen voice started to annoy her, like an itchy scab that needed to be picked: hard to ignore but there.
She shook her head. “I’ve got heaps of stuff to do for Nadine.”
“Shouldn’t it be calmer now that she’s back?” he asked, for once expressing a bit of interest and losing the miserable face for a change.
“You’d have thought.” She tried to smile, but his expression turned cold and pissed off again, wiping what little smile had begun to form. So she gave him only the facts. “She’s in charge of a lot of high-profile accounts here.” Things in the department had been getting busier. It wasn’t only Nadine who felt it, or Mitchell and Sandra, who also felt the pressure. Lower down, the administrative staff were starting to become overwhelmed too.
And with all that was going on, Mr. Zimmerman was spending more time in Europe. Rumors had it that the company was going to downsize in the US and expand further into Europe. She’d need to speak to Nadine to get the lowdown.
Matt’s glass of diet coke was almost finished and she herself needed another drink. She’d guzzled the first one down fast. As she looked over to the crowded bar, she saw the shock of tousled blonde hair that stood out a mile away. She’d arrived. Turning, her friend found her. Their eyes met and Melissa waved. Relief settled in.
Matt looked over his shoulder. “About time, too.”
“Sorry.” Heather gaped, looking first at Melissa, then at Matt. She beamed a wide smile, and Melissa watched, analyzing her friend’s reaction.
“Hey,” Matt managed a smile.
“At last, we finally meet!” Heather took off her navy woolen coat and settled into her chair, making herself comfortable. She gave Melissa a quick knowing wink, signifying Matt’s hotness and her seal of approval.
“Let me get some more drinks. What would you like, Heather?”
Her friend giggled, then flicked her hair back over her shoulder. “Whatever Melissa had,” she said, looking at her iced long-stemmed cocktail glass.
“Same again,” Melissa said, when he looked her way and thankfully he didn’t bat an eyelid. He was on his best behavior now.
“I busted a gut to get here. Sorry, I didn’t think it was going to take this long. There was so much traffic.”
Melissa wasn’t interested in traffic conditions. “What do you think?”
Her friend propped her arms up on the table and steepled her fingers, grinning at Melissa. “He’s hot!” Heath
er ducked her head down, close to Melissa’s. “And he looks pretty fit, too. Great body.” Luckily the noise in the background damped down their conversation. She nudged her friend. “I totally get why you’re always over at his place. Heck, if I had a guy who looked so hot, I’d spend most of the day in bed, too.”
“We do not do that,” replied Melissa, embarrassed.
“Don’t be shy, hon.” Heather slapped her playfully. “You don’t have to apologize for it.”
Melissa’s cheeks heated. She didn’t want to discuss any of this—and yet she wondered how Heather would react if she were in Melissa’s shoes, when he filmed her half undressed.
Maybe Heather would rise to the occasion.
Maybe Heather would consider it foreplay.
Maybe Melissa was the one with the problem.
“I bet he’s great in bed. He is, isn’t he?” Heather asked as Matt started to walk back with their drinks.
“Stop it,” Melissa hissed, seeing Matt return.
“So you’re the friend I keep hearing about?” Matt said, as he placed their drinks on the table and sat down.
“I am that friend,” replied Heather. “Thanks for the drink.”
Matt shrugged. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“All good, I hope.” Heather twirled an unruly bleached lock of curls around her finger.
“I told him we’ve known each other for years,” said Melissa.
“Yeah, so you keep saying.” He barely glanced at her.
Heather looked at Melissa for an unsure moment. “We went to college together and then we ended up wanting to work in the city and we were lucky enough to find Diana and her beautiful condo.”
“Lucky? How’s that?” Matt shuffled his body closer towards Melissa.
“She’s hardly ever there,” replied Melissa, and then wondered if she’d already told him that before. “It feels as though the place is ours.” And Diana didn’t charge them sky high rent either. They put it down to her taking them on because they were two girls, and they seemed decent by her standards, no mad parties or a different boyfriend coming over each week.
“We’re near to downtown,” said Heather.
“So there is no excuse for you not to get to the gym each morning, is there?” he said, turning to Melissa.
The bloody gym. They always ended up talking about the gym and his workouts. Matt leaned in and squeezed her thigh. She couldn’t tell if he’d meant that in his usual snide, sarcastic way or if he was being nice to her.
She felt the heat of Heather’s quick glance at her. “She’s loving the workouts,” said Heather, and Melissa knew exactly which types of workouts she was talking about. She looked daggers at her friend.
“Hard to tell with her. She rolls through the doors late most days,” said Matt tightly.
“Don’t talk about me as if I’m not here.” Melissa sipped her drink and gave him a hard stare.
“She’s a new and improved Mel. We’ll get there yet,” Matt announced smugly, not reacting to her comment. He seemed to be taking credit for her results.
Heather came to her rescue. “Melissa doesn’t need any improvement. She’s perfect exactly the way she is.”
“I never said she wasn’t perfect. All things can be improved.”
“And you’re saying that because you’ve done a lot of improvement work on yourself, have you?” Heather stared him down.
“Come on, guys.” Melissa tried to intervene, to nip it in the bud, before it became any bigger.
“Nothing wrong with working out. You should try it sometime.” His expression was cool as he glared back at Heather.
“I like breaking out in a sweat every now and then, but using the gym isn’t my preferred route.” Heather welcomed the challenge, and Melissa could see by the way her friend’s eyes flashed and the slight wobble in her voice that she was getting angrier the longer she spoke to Matt.
“Do you guys want to hang out here or shall we get something to eat?” Melissa said, though she knew Matt would want to go home and cook his carefully constructed dietary protein meal.
But they ignored her, and continued to lock horns. Melissa tuned out of the conversation and left them to their verbal sparring. She tuned into the noise around them instead. Casting her glance around the bar, she wondered what it would be like to meet that coffee shop guy—for she had no other way to label him—in a place like this. What would they talk about?
“You know what, hon?” Heather touched Melissa on the wrist. “Finn wanted to meet up tonight, and I might catch him if I leave now.” Heather’s face was tight and she’d already made up her mind, with one of her arms through her coat sleeve. Beside her, Matt sat quietly, not even offering the apology Melissa wanted him so desperately to make. But, knowing him as well as she did now, she didn’t expect an apology, or anything else from him.
Knowing that the brunt of Heather’s rage was directed at Matt, Melissa couldn’t ask her friend to stay. “Okay, I’ll see you later. Shall I wait up?”
“It’s not going to be a late night.” Heather stopped, and Melissa got the impression that she’d have asked her along if Matt weren’t here.
Heather stood up, grabbed her bag and looked straight at Matt. “It’s been interesting meeting you. We must do it again sometime.” She gave him a plastic smile, so forced that her cheeks rose upwards.
“Definitely,” Matt replied, in a completely put-on voice.
Heather vanished and she and Matt faced each other miserably again. For a moment they sat in subdued silence. Melissa didn’t even want to look at him, let alone make conversation.
“I never thought your friend would be so awkward,” he said.
And she probably never thought you would be such a pigheaded moron, Melissa thought but she couldn’t bring herself to say it, knowing it would only lead to further trouble.
Suddenly, she craved solitude. She wanted to go home, by herself, to a quiet apartment and spend the evening doing nothing. The idea of staring at nothing and listening to the sound of silence beckoned. She got up and started putting on her coat.
“What are you doing?” he asked, jerking up from a semi-slouched position. “Don’t you want to hang around a bit more?”
She picked up her bag, hung it from her shoulder. “No. I need to get back. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“What’s the matter?” he asked, puzzled. It pissed her off even more that he seemed totally ignorant as to why she was angry. The guy had no idea.
“I’ll see you at the gym then.”
She stopped and stared at him with contempt. “I’m not coming to the gym.” How could he be so insensitive?
“Have it your way.” He turned back to his drink and she closed her eyes, taking a breath in before she stepped away. It was a good thing Heather had gone off to meet her friend. It meant she wouldn’t be at home to grill her about this “gorgeous” guy she was dating.
Chapter 9
She felt the tears well up in her eyes as she stormed out.
“Mel. Mel.” She heard his strangled voice behind her but she carried on walking faster, hoping he’d give up and disappear. Then an arm tugged at hers and anchored her. “Mel, I’m sorry.”
She hoped the dark of the night would hide her watery eyes. Saying nothing, she dragged her gaze to meet his.
“I’m sorry. I am. Your friend brushed me the wrong way—her making out like I was putting you down.”
You were putting me down. But Melissa said nothing as he clamped his hands on either side of her shoulders and slowly slid them down to her elbows.
“I guess I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. What with seeing you with that guy earlier.”
“Which guy?”
He huffed out loudly, as if he couldn’t remember his name. “Your boss’s boyfriend.”
Her neck muscles tightened. “Ethan? Why would that make you angry? He’s Nadine’s boyfriend.”
Matt shook his head; the words weren’t coming easy and she could see he
was desperate for her to hear him out. “It makes me mad. I can’t explain it. I’m trying.”
She let out her breath slowly. “I can’t get used to your…to your…your moods.” She had to choose her words carefully even now, fearful that she’d set him off again.
To her surprise, he agreed. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m trying to get better at it.”
“Try harder.” She had dared to say it.
“I will.” He still held her hand, and in an instant he seemed to have calmed down.
“Sometimes you say things that hurt and I don’t think you realize how hurtful your words can be.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, inching closer. “Sometimes I feel you don’t take my training seriously enough.”
She clenched her lips together. It’s only a workout.
“You know I’m crazy about you, don’t you, Mel?” He slid his hands down to meet her hands. But Melissa kept her hands tight, not easily melding with his. Though she was reluctantly acknowledging the thaw that was coming over her.
“Do you feel like watching a movie?” he asked.
She stiffened. A minute ago she’d have been totally against it, but he always did this to her. Mixed up her feelings. At a time when she should have been annoyed with him, he somehow managed to pull her guard down.
“We could watch one of those mushy romances you like,” he suggested, trying, but failing to hide his thinly veiled contempt. He took her hand as they slowly started to amble down the street.
She knew he wouldn’t want to do that—but if he was offering, and he seemed to be determined to give up his run tonight. Maybe this time would be different. It was still early evening and this was kind of spontaneous for them. For him. Usually, depending on his regime, all their dates had to be planned with military precision. He was trying his best; she had to give him that.
“You’d watch a romantic film?” She glanced sideways at him, looking at him unobstructed, as he kept his eyes fixed ahead.
“Anything, for you.” He turned his head to look at her.
