by KB Winters
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the pain of the memories of that night.
“I’m sorry,” Lucas said.
I forced my eyes back open and exhaled long and slow. “I appreciate that. I mean, really, it turned out to be for the best. It took me a while, but I eventually learned that Samuel was not the best guy…”
I bit my lower lip, wondering how much more I should say.
There were parts of the story that even my parents didn’t know. I hadn’t wanted to tell them the full, ugly truth. At the time that it had all happened there had been a part of me that held on to the hope that things would change. That somehow, someway, Samuel would change. And when he did, I didn’t want other people to continue holding onto the past.
“We met at a party. He was a friend of a friend’s boyfriend. Anyways, we hit it off, and were pretty much inseparable from that moment on. I was dancing, with the indoor football team in Miami, and that lifestyle could get pretty crazy at times. He was pretty heavy into partying and going out every night. It wasn’t really my thing, but I wanted to be with him, and it was what a lot of my friends were doing too, so I got caught up in it.
“But, I always kept my eye on the bigger picture, which, for me was auditioning and making the Miami Heat dance team. I did cheer and dance team and anything like that since I was little. Like I said last night, when I found out I was pregnant, I was forced to quit my dance job and I couldn’t audition for the Heat either. So, when that ended, Samuel proposed, I moved in with him, and threw myself into planning a wedding. I was going to be a stay at home mom. He was going to work. It wasn’t what I’d originally planned, but it felt like everything was falling into place. You know, like it was going to be okay.”
The memory of those days could still knock me over. Half the time, I couldn’t believe I was ever that naive, and the other half, I wondered what might have been. If Samuel had kept his promises and we’d actually been a family. Every fragment of my life would be different. Would I only see my parents a few times a year for the holidays? Would I have ever gone back to school? Where would we live? What would it have been like to stay home full time and only worry about Lily when she was an infant? Instead, my life had turned into a careful balancing act to make sure my bills were paid and that my work schedule allowed me some time with my daughter. I worried about student loans, health insurance, and whether the tips from bartending would add up fast enough to make a difference.
“So, what changed?” Lucas asked, drawing me back from the edge of my thoughts.
“When I was four months along, I had an appointment to go to the sonogram where I’d find out whether the baby was a boy or a girl. I was really excited about it. I swear, it was all I could talk about,” I laughed, remembering how insane I’d made everyone around me. The smile faded from my lips as the rest of the memory returned to me. “I waited for an hour, and Samuel never showed up. I was so upset, just in tears, completely devastated that he’d missed it, and I left the doctors. I didn’t even do the appointment. When I got back to our apartment, he was there, playing video games with his buddies after work. He’d forgotten about the whole thing.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. I was completely at a loss.” I shook my head, still baffled over it. “Anyways, the next day, when he asked me why I was all pissed off. Being a bitch, was I believe his exact phrase…” I growled. “Well, it went downhill from there. Rapidly. We got into a huge fight. Yelling. Screaming. It was a mess.”
Lucas blew out a puff of air, as though he were at a loss for word. For a moment, I wondered if I’d said too much, gone on about the past for too long.
Finally, he spoke, “God, Isla, I’m so sorry.”
“It was pretty terrible. He ended up forcing me out of the apartment, and I had to couch hop for a few weeks before I decided it was time to call my parents and see if I could move home. So, that’s what I did. I packed up my clothes and the few baby things I’d bought, and moved across the country and I’ve been there ever since.”
“And that was it? He never even tried to see you? Or see Lily?”
I shook my head. “There were a few phone calls after the breakup, but I ignored them.”
“I see.”
“I don’t mean to sound heartless, or like I didn’t care. I did. Deeply. But, he—hurt me, really bad, Lucas.”
“He hit you?” Lucas’ anger roared through the phone, and I sat up straight at the intensity in his voice.
“No, although he came close…” I answered quickly. “He’d been drinking and sometimes he could be a real asshole when he was like that. I think he probably kicked me out of the house because he knew he was getting close to hurting me.”
Lucas was quiet, but I could feel his rage still humming over the line.
“I wasn’t scared of him…not necessarily. But…I knew if I picked up the phone, he’d find a way to get me back. It was better to just move on before things got worse. I didn’t want to put myself through that and I knew my baby deserved better.”
“You did the right thing,” he said it without hesitation, and his confidence came through the phone and bolstered my own. “Isla, I want to be there when he meets Lily. I know I haven’t even met Lily myself, and that probably wasn’t something you were planning to do anytime soon, but I can’t stand the idea of you meeting up with him all by yourself.”
His concern warmed through me and wrapped me in an envelope of safety. I hadn’t given a lot of thought to the actual logistics of taking Lily to meet Samuel, but Lucas’ suggestion of him being by my side was easy to wrap my mind around.
“Would that be okay? Obviously it’s your call, but I’d like to be there, for you.”
I smiled. “Well, you are my fiancé after all…”
Lucas laughed and the tension from the heavy conversation started to lift. “Guess I better get to the jewelry store, huh?”
I giggled at his joke but my stomach swooped at the idea of him getting down on one knee, offering me a gorgeous ring, and when the butterflies swirled away, I was left with a longing I’d never experienced before.
Regardless of how easygoing Lucas was being about it, I knew that expecting him to stick around through my drama was unlikely.
It was up to me to keep my feet on the ground.
Chapter Thirteen
Isla
Even with Lucas’ offer to accompany me for the first meeting between Samuel and Lily, I dreaded picking up the phone and making the arrangements. Every day I pushed it to the next day and by Thursday, I still hadn’t called the number on the business card he’d given me that Monday.
It didn’t help matters that I was still sludging through the post-Thanksgiving pile-up at work, and finding the new assistant, Lacey, to be more or less helpful that a pet rock. Sure, she was nice and polite, but she spent most of her day, waiting for the next opportunity to throw herself at Kevin’s feet.
She might as well have stamped “Professional Sugar Baby” on her resume, because it was rapidly becoming clear to me that was the only thing she was truly interested in being.
On Thursday, I ended up working three hours past closing, and headed home, hoping to see Lily before bedtime. Since I’d been stuck at work, my mom had been the one to pick her up from preschool. My only stop was to grab a sandwich and soup combo from a cafe on the way. I sloppily devoured the sandwich on the way home like a bear coming out of hibernation, and when I walked into the house, I made a beeline for the kitchen sink to wash the remnants off my hands and stash the soup in the fridge for the following day’s lunch.
When I shut off the tap, the sound of voices perked my ear. I dried my hands off on a kitchen towel, which I promptly dropped, when I realized whose voice I was hearing.
I raced out to the formal living room, and bit back a string of curses when I came face to face with Samuel. He was sitting on one of the two couches in the living room, and my parents sat on the other.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
I hissed through bared teeth.
Finding my place of employment was one thing. Showing up at my parents’ home—where my daughter lived—was an entirely different level of invasion. And I wouldn’t let it stand.
My parents turned at my charged entrance, but I didn’t meet their gazes, keeping my glare trained on the smarmy man sitting across from them like it was some kind of cocktail hour.
“Hello, Isla. I was just catching up with your folks,” Samuel said, shooting a deceptively charming smile across to my parents.
Only then did I shift my gaze to the couch where my parents were both turned in their seats to face me. Their expressions were calm, polite, but when they met my eyes, I could see they were thrown off. “Where’s Lily?” I asked, still looking at them. I figured my voice sounded like I was negotiating a hostage situation, and in some ways, it felt that way too. My blood pressure was up, my pulse thrumming in my ears, all the while trying to keep from hurling myself at Samuel to scream in his face.
“Lily’s asleep,” my dad answered. My mom nodded in agreement. “Samuel just got here a few minutes ago.”
So, he hadn’t met Lily? My panic was knocked down a hair.
I flicked my stare back to Samuel. “You have no right to be here. I told you I’d call you when I was ready to arrange a meeting.”
My heart wrenched, thinking that I hadn’t even told my parents about Samuel showing up at my office. This situation was a blindside to me, but in some ways, even more so to them. God, what must they have thought when they answered the door to find him waiting on the other side?
With the way he was dressed, in a navy blue suit and a crisp white shirt, they probably thought he was some kind of salesman. He certainly hadn’t dressed that way when we’d been together.
They’d met Samuel a handful of times during the course of our relationship, as they had made frequent trips out to Miami to see me. They’d always been supportive of our relationship, and even after we broke up, they never said a bad thing about Samuel.
Granted, they didn’t know the full story.
All I’d been able to tell them was that Samuel wasn’t ready to be a parent and had decided it would be best for us to part ways before the baby arrived and made things even more complicated.
Thinking back, I’m sure they had their opinions about what he’d done, but they’d made a point to never bash him around me, and especially not around Lily.
Samuel cleared his throat. “Well, I’m only in town for a week, Isla. So, I was hoping to expedite things.”
“Angie, let’s give these two some space,” my dad said, tugging my mom’s elbow as he stood from the couch.
I didn’t want them to go, but I also knew the longer they stayed the more of the truth they would uncover, and I knew they would be hurt if they found out how much I’d been holding back from them. They shuffled out and I took their place on the couch opposite Samuel.
“This is stalking, or harassment, or something. I will call the cops if you don’t get out of here. Right. Now.”
Mama bear was out, and she wasn’t going down without a fight.
Samuel stretched his arms over his head as though he didn’t have a care in the world. “Where’s your fiancé?”
I bared my teeth. “Get out. Now.”
He leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. “When can I meet Lily? Tell me that, and I’ll leave.”
I dug my nails into my thighs. “Sunday.”
He popped up, a self-satisfied look on his face. “When and where?”
“One o’clock. There’s a park Lily likes, it’s called Hillside Park, right up the road from here.”
“I’ll be there.” Samuel led himself to the front door, and my parents—who’d obviously been listening—came back as if on cue. “Goodnight Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins. Apologies for the drop in.”
I ushered him out before they had a chance to reply. As soon as his feet were both on the front porch, I slammed the door and locked the deadbolt as loudly as possible.
“Isla, what on earth is going on?” My mom asked.
I spun around on my heel to face my parents, who were obviously bewildered. I exhaled a shaky sigh, my body had flooded with adrenaline at the sight of him in my parents living room, and the crash hit me the moment he was gone. “What did he tell you?” I asked, looking from my mom to my dad.
My dad wrapped an arm around my mom’s shoulders, looking from her, back to me. “Well, not much. He said that you two had met up, and that he was in town to meet Lily. That was about as far as we got.”
My mom nodded in agreement. “I’m sorry, pumpkin. I thought—well, he said you’d seen each other, and I thought he was the one you’d gone out with the other night…” She looked at me like she was waiting for me to brush it off and say it was all going to be okay.
Instead, I burst into tears.
Both of them rushed to wrap me in a tight embrace. My mom stroked my hair. “I’m so sorry, Isla. We didn’t know.”
I nodded into her shoulder and sucked in a ragged breath. “I—I know.” I sniffled. “It’s not your fault. I should have told you. I just…I was hoping it would all go away…”
When I got myself under control, they released me, but led me to the couches. I refused to sit in the place where Samuel had sat, and took the space between my parents. I leaned back against the cushions and sucked in a breath before explaining what had happened.
“So, he just showed up?” My dad asked as soon as I recapped our encounter on Monday.
I nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know how he found me. He said something about a friend finding me on social media. I’ve tried to be so careful to not leave a trail. I didn’t want this to happen.”
“Well, honey, you had to know there was a chance this would happen,” my mom said, her voice soft, as though she knew what thin ice her words were treading on.
I shook my head. “No, I didn’t. I mean, honestly. I never thought I would see him again. It’s taken me forever to come to grips with that. Of course it would happen now that I’ve met Lucas.”
“Lucas?” My dad repeated, an innate fatherly protection creeping into his voice.
“Her date,” my mom said. “Right?”
“Yeah. He’s this amazing guy and I really think…well,” I looked between the two of them. “I think he could be someone I could be with. You know. Long term.”
My mom smiled, but my dad didn’t so much as blink. “You’ve gone on one date?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. But we’ve known each other for a while.”
I explained about the forum. Once I started coming clean, I figured I might as well unpack all the little things I’d been keeping to myself. When I was done, my mom was even more excited. My dad remained skeptical.
“I’m just glad Lily wasn’t awake,” I said with a sigh after the conversation about Lucas had died off. The thought of her meeting Samuel still turned my stomach inside out. But to have that initial meeting without me by her side? It was incomprehensible.
“So, you’re meeting him, with Lily, on Sunday?” My dad asked.
“I guess so.”
My mom wrapped an arm around me and held me tight. “It will be okay, sweetie. Do you want us to come with you?”
“Lucas is going to come with me.”
My dad’s eyes went wide. “Has he met Lily?”
I shook my head and pulled out of my mom’s grip. “No, but he wants to be there to support me, and I want to let him. He makes me feel safe.”
My mom gave another happy chirp.
“Angie,” my dad chided. “Let’s not get too carried away.”
She scoffed. “I’m not! I’m just happy that Isla has found someone special. That’s all.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I looked over at my dad, who still looked unconvinced. “It’s okay, Dad. I promise, he’s a good guy.” I pushed off the couch. “I’m going to check on Lily. Thanks for listening, guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
They
said their goodnights as I wandered from the living room to the stairs that took me down to the basement bedrooms. I tiptoed to Lily’s bedside and perched on the edge so I could watch her sleeping. She was still and peaceful, her full ruby lips pursed as she dreamed.
“Sleep good, my princess. Mama will always take care of you,” I whispered, before pressing a kiss to her brow.
I would always fight for her, and if Samuel thought he was going to try and take her away from me, he was going to have the war of a lifetime on his hands.
Chapter Fourteen
Lucas
“Hey fiancé,” I teased, as soon as I had Isla back in my arms again.
We’d met at Cuppa to go over the ground rules before she took me back to her parents’ house to meet them and Lily for the first time. It was a big day. Monumental. And yet, I didn’t have even a quiver of nerves running through me. I’d been so eager to see Isla again, that once she was in my arms, the rest of it just faded from my mind.
She giggled up at me, her golden brown eyes dancing. “Cute.”
“I thought so,” I replied, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips. Every fiber wanted more, and it took a mountain of self-control to keep from lifting her off the floor and pressing her against the nearest wall—or car—to pick up where we’d left off on our previous date.
It felt as though it had been much longer than a week. She looked just as good as I remembered—maybe better, as I’d been so eager to see her. She was dressed casually in jeans and a thick sweater. Her hair was back in a ponytail, tucked under a white ball cap on her head.
“How are you feeling?” I ran my hands up and down her arms, cursing the Washington winter for making thick layers a necessity. I wanted my fingertips on her skin.
She gave a nod. “I’m all right. I think…As good as I can be.”
“You want a coffee?” I asked, as the line at the register dwindled.
She shook her head. “No, but go ahead if you do.”
I didn’t want to leave her side, but I also didn’t want to be the asshole that didn’t order anything. In the end, I pulled on her hand and brought her along with me in line, and when we got to the register, she ordered a tea for herself. Something with chamomile in it, which, was probably a smart move. She couldn’t hold still. Even in line, she was fidgeting with our interlocked hands, looking around the room every few minutes, and when stationary, tapping her foot on the laminate wood flooring.
