“Unless I somehow manage to fall in love again and ignore the screaming sirens in my head long enough to get remarried. Then, I guess, if she wanted to, I’d have more. I like kids.”
“I do, too. If I ever get married, I’d want some.” She picked up her shirt and pulled it on, knowing this conversation was going into dangerous territory. Just like their friendship was. “Ginny is beautiful, by the way.”
“She is.” He smiled, lighting up. “In every way. She takes after her mother.”
“And her father,” Daisy said, locking eyes with him. “He’s pretty amazing, too.”
He swallowed, not moving. “Nah. He’s pretty ordinary, but he’s doing his best not to fuck up her life, regardless.”
“Seems to me like you’re doing a pretty good job at it,” she said, pulling her jeans on. Once she zipped them up, she fluffed her hair out. “You’re putting her first, and that’s a good start. Just make sure you don’t forget about you, too. If you find someone who can make you happy, who isn’t a cop like me, grab her. Give that happiness a chance.”
“I’m pretty good where I am right now,” he said slowly, staring at her in a way that told her he included her in that statement. “I have everything I need right here.”
This thing between them, no matter what they called it, it was real.
And it was something that made her heart skip a beat when he texted her, or laughed, or ran his hands down her back. What they had was…was…more than friends.
If he didn’t realize that, he would soon, and then he’d run, if she didn’t run first. But for now, it worked. For now, it was enough. She just had to remember to keep her heart safe. Their whole relationship, if it could be called that, was an intense round of ring around the roses, and she had to make sure she wasn’t collateral damage when it all fell down.
“Do you want to be the type of cop you are forever?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Like, patrol. Just like with Shillings, there are different types of police officers. Patrol. Crime scene. Murder. Vice.” He shot her a short look. “Or, you know, office work. Like you’re doing now. Something not so…out there.”
She stood, feeling nauseous, because if she wasn’t mistaken, he was covertly asking her to take a “safer” job in the police force. And that was a big hell no. “I need to go.”
“But—”
She waved over her shoulder and ran for it. He’d asked her to give him a chance and she had, but the second she said yes to him, she couldn’t shake the feeling that trusting him had been the worst mistake she’d ever made. That one way or another, he was eventually going to prove her right. That he was going to be unable to accept her as she was, dangerous job and all. That he was going to leave her, just like all the other men in her life had, and he was going to crush her…
And she was going to let him.
Chapter Twelve
The clicking of the keyboard keys as Mark typed was the only sound in his otherwise silent office, and in a way, that constant click was comforting. It kept his mind off other things.
Things like Daisy, and the way she made him feel, and how he should be distancing himself from her because she wasn’t what he wanted in a partner, if he even wanted a partner, and how the two of them together made no sense. And as if all that weren’t enough of a dose of cold, hard reality there was the fact that she was constantly running from him.
And he kept chasing her.
There was no doubt she was a runner, and no matter what happened between them, or how far they took this thing they had going between them, her first instinct would be to run…and he would always be the one chasing her. Over and over again.
Ever since Tina died, he’d been sure to make every decision based on what was in Ginny’s best interests. To not let his heart rule him, like it had with Tina. Cold, hard logic was his friend when it came to his judgment. Logic dictated he take the few nights he’d had with her and let them be a happy memory. It also said he should stop chasing her when she clearly didn’t want to be caught. She wasn’t the woman for him because the woman he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with was dead. All he had now was Ginny, and his logic. His smart choices.
Being with Daisy? It wasn’t smart.
It was catastrophic.
His phone rang, and he glanced down at it. It was his mother. She’d been an angel ever since he’d been widowed. She watched Ginny for him so he didn’t have to pay for childcare, and was 100 percent supportive of whatever he needed. Her only fault was she kept pushing him to date again. To find Ginny a new mom. She didn’t need a new mom. She had him. And he had her. Bringing in someone else would only mess up their dynamic…
And break their hearts when it ended.
He picked up the phone, slid the answer icon to the right, and rested it on his ear. “Hello?”
“Hello, dear. How’s work going?”
“Good. I’m almost finished. Should only be another half hour or so.” He hit enter and stared at the report on the Walker case he’d just wrapped up. It was the last thing he had to do, and then he was out of here. Sighing, he clicked on the Amazon window he’d had open in the background. As he stared at the book he’d been checking out, he could hear Elsa in the background, singing about letting go. He knew that damn song by heart. Maybe Elsa had a point. Maybe he needed to let it go a little bit. “Is everything okay with Ginny?”
“Yes, but she wants to go see that movie with the birds. It’s showing soon, so I was wondering if you’d mind me taking her?” She paused. “It’ll give you a chance to do something fun for yourself. Maybe go to dinner with the guys from work?”
He glanced out into the hallway. Steven walked by, his attention on a folder, and Jake spoke quietly with Tara, as he went down the hallway, limping slightly. Holt was on the phone, more than likely with Lydia, and Cooper was on his honeymoon with Kayla. If he were to go anywhere, it would probably be to Daisy’s place, and he wasn’t sure that was a good idea after last night. “I don’t know. Maybe I could join you guys a little later at the theater.”
“No. It’s girl time.”
Mark rolled his eyes. She was trying to force him to be social, since that upped his chances of meeting a girl. Problem was, he’d already met her. He just couldn’t be with her. “Mom.”
“All work and no play makes Mark a dull boy,” she said.
“Quoting Stephen King won’t change anything.” He swirled his finger over the track pad, watching the arrow circle the book he’d been looking at. “I’m not going out tonight. I want to come to the movie with you guys.”
“Girls only, so unless you’re bringing one along…?”
“You know I’m not,” he said between clenched teeth.
“Then sorry, but we have to go. We might go get manicures after the movie, and dinner, too. Come get her once you’re done with your friends at dinner. No rush. Maybe you can go to a movie, too. I know there’s a new superhero one out. You always liked those.”
“But—” he started, but he cut off, because the line went dead.
His mother had hung up on him.
He set the phone down, glaring at it. He could find them. It wouldn’t be too hard to figure out. But his mother did so much for him that he felt the need to respect her wishes and let them have their fun alone.
But that left him with an unexpectedly free evening. Earlier today, he’d texted Daisy and told her he was going to be unavailable, and now here he was.
Available.
Rolling his shoulders, he minimized the window he’d had open and focused on his report. By the time he hit send on the document, his shoulders ached and his fingers were numb. Leaning back in his chair, he glanced out the window. The sun was starting to go down, and above the buildings across the street the sky was painted in pretty hues of oranges and pinks.
A police car went by, sirens blazing, and he stiffened.
Crime wasn’t bad around here, but it still happened. There was al
ways violence in the world, and where there was violence, there was danger. He still didn’t like Daisy’s profession, or what it meant to him, but he was fooling himself if he thought his refusal to date her would affect his feelings toward her. “Only friends” was a pathetic cover up for what they were really doing. They were dating and not telling anyone.
End of story.
And right now?
That didn’t feel like enough.
Yet it was all it would ever be…because of her job.
A job she loved very much.
Say he and Daisy decided to call this thing between them what it was. Say he introduced her to his daughter, and his daughter, in turn, fell for Daisy as hard as he had. Perhaps she latched on to Daisy as the mother figure she’d secretly craved all this time. Maybe they made a happy little family, and they moved in together, and maybe they even got married. Hell, maybe they even had another kid.
Then a year, or two, or ten down the road…
The cops knock on the door.
And history repeats itself.
A real, not imaginary, knock on his office door broke him out of his morose thoughts. “Come in,” he called out.
“You all finished up in here?” Holt asked, popping his head in. He wore his usual square framed glasses and a Doctor Who tie. Mark had no clue who this Doctor guy was, but Holt was obsessed with him.
“Yeah, just.”
“You heading home?” Holt asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Yeah, I guess so. Mom has Ginny, so I might just go home and catch a basketball game, maybe order some pizza and drink a cold one.” Actually, that sounded pretty damn good. With everything going on in his head, it might be best to avoid company until he got his shit figured out. “What are you up to? Going home to Lydia and your daughter?”
“We’re going to dinner, actually, with a group of people at the sports bar downtown.” He hesitated. “Want to come along? The game will probably be on there, too, and they have beer.”
He heard his mother’s voice in his head, urging him to stop being a hermit. Holt invited him out fairly often, but he always turned him down, preferring to go home to his baby girl instead. But she wasn’t home. Maybe he could use a night out after all. He didn’t get them very often. He should take advantage of his freedom for the night and go out for dinner. Besides, it would keep his mind off Daisy. “You know what? Sure. If you don’t mind.”
“Of course not, man.” Holt grinned. “Come on.”
Mark cast one last look at the link he’d minimized to the taskbar and shut his computer. Grabbing his keys and his phone, he followed his friend down the hallway. When they reached the elevator, Steven stood there, texting on his phone. He glanced up when he saw them coming and frowned when he noticed Mark was with Holt. “You ready?”
Of course Steven was going with Holt. He should have known. And if Lauren was coming, too, what were the chances that Daisy would tag along? Would they be stuck in another awkward dinner where they had to pretend they hadn’t seen each other naked? Shit.
He should have stuck with the original plan.
Solitude was always his best choice.
“Yep,” Holt said. “Are Lauren and Lydia waiting for us?”
“Yeah. With Daisy and a few other people.” Steven eyed Mark. “You coming along with us this time?”
“If you don’t mind,” he said quickly, hoping Steven’s dislike would give him a way out of this mess. If he suddenly backed out because he’d mentioned Daisy’s name, then they would suspect something was up. These men weren’t idiots. One mistake and the whole group of friends would know he and Daisy were up to something. And he’d promised no one would ever know. “If you do, I can just head home instead—”
“I don’t mind,” Steven interjected, pushing the down button on the elevator. “Why would I?”
Maybe because Steven hated him and thought he was after his girl. “I don’t know.”
“Then come on.” He walked into the open elevator, shooting Mark a challenging stare. “Unless you don’t want to come along for some reason? You stiffened up when I mentioned Daisy.”
Mark laughed. “What? No I didn’t.”
“Sure you did.” Steven rose his brows. “Do you have something against her? Because last time we were together, she certainly seemed to have something against you.”
Mark forced a calm expression to his face, trying to hide his true thoughts from the other man. “No, of course not. Why would I have a problem with Daisy?”
“I don’t know. She’s pretty damn likeable.”
Holt watched them both, his eyes narrow. “What did I miss?”
“Last time we all went out, Daisy ripped him a new one. Interrogated him on the spot.” Steven grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets. “And when he fought back? She ran.”
Holt rubbed his jaw. “Interesting.”
“There’s nothing interesting about me and Daisy,” Mark said, keeping his voice perfectly level. “I barely know her. She was probably just having a bad day, is all. I was an easy target.”
Steven said nothing. Just smirked.
Holt nodded. “Yeah. Maybe.”
“She seems nice, though.” Mark cleared his throat, watching the floors descend on the LED screen. It would look weird if he didn’t say something else, so he wracked his brain for something, anything, to say. “What’s her story?”
“She’s single, keeps to herself a lot, kind of like you. She and her partner are really close, and he’s pretty protective of her.”
Mark tugged on his collar again. “Her partner is a man?”
“Yeah,” Steven said distractedly. He checked his phone, then tucked it into his pocket. “He’s huge. Like the Rock.”
Mark swallowed. “Awesome.”
“Lauren thinks he’s secretly in love with her.” The doors opened, and Steven walked out first, continuing to talk. Mark and Holt followed him. Holt was still texting, but Mark was 100 percent focused on Steven’s words. “But then, she’s always trying to hook people up.”
Yeah. I know. “So her partner’s huge, protective, and maybe in love with her.”
“Yep,” Steven said, stopping at his truck. Mark’s Mustang was in the next space.
Well, shit.
Was Lauren right? And if so, was Daisy unaware of this crush, or was she pretending not to notice because she wasn’t ready for something that could be real?
Maybe she was fucking around with Mark because she was too scared to face something with her partner that could actually pan out. Maybe Mark was a distraction, and the second she got over her fear, she’d fall in love with her partner. And hell, maybe that would be better for her. If they were to have a relationship, at least her partner would accept what he was buying because he would be selling the same thing.
“Was he ever in the military?” Mark asked.
“No.” Steven opened his car door. “You know where we’re going? Flannigan’s?”
Yep, and now that he’d found out Daisy was there, and she had this unrequited love story going on with her partner, he couldn’t wait to see her. He had a few questions, and he’d get his answers, one way or another, tonight.
“See you there.”
Chapter Thirteen
I’m too tired for this.
That’s all Daisy could think as she sat there with her friends, trying to put on a good face but failing because her mind was a million miles away, dwelling on Mark and what had happened last night. Had he actually been asking her if she’d consider taking a safer desk job, or had she just jumped to conclusions and run for nothing? Although, it hadn’t been for nothing, because for a second, just a second…
She found herself considering it.
Debating whether she’d give up her career for a chance to be with him.
That was unacceptable on so many levels. If, for some crazy reason, they decided to be a couple—a real couple—it had to be because he wanted to be with her.
The real her.
Not some version of herself she became for him.
Laughter surrounded her, and music played in the background, while five different types of games and sports were on the TVs surrounding them. An untouched beer sat in front of her, and everyone else at the table was in high spirits. Everyone but her. And there was one reason for that. She felt bad for running out on Mark last night…again.
It was becoming a thing, her doing that.
Instinctively, she was looking for a way to shake him off because she was scared he was going to hurt her. So all he had to do was sneeze in the wrong direction, and she’d run for it. And she’d keep doing it until she finally pushed him away, or until it stuck. Judging from the complete silence she’d gotten from him since yesterday, besides the text that he would be unavailable tonight…she might have succeeded.
That should fill her with relief. If it was over, then she was safe. He couldn’t hurt her, and she certainly wouldn’t hurt him. And that was a good thing, or so she kept telling herself.
Tim elbowed her, turning his back to the rest of the group so he could talk to her, and her alone. His brown hair was combed to the side neatly, and his blue eyes were locked on her. They were always locked on her. He had a thing about eye contact, and he never let go. A lot of people mistook it for attraction or interest, but he was just an intense guy. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly, shifting away from his huge bicep so she could see him more easily. She always teased him that he should be in the ring for WWE instead of on the force. He was ridiculously huge—and his heart was just as big as his muscles. He was a good guy. A great guy. She often joked that they should just get married and enjoy the tax benefits, since they already lived together, and he’d always smile softly and say she’d find someone better someday, but he was there for her if she didn’t. “Why?”
“You’re quiet.” He stared at her cast. “Are you still pouting at missing out on the action today?”
He’d chased down a drug dealer and tackled him in the alley off Fifth Street. If not for her arm, she would have been there, too. And she always ran faster than him, so it would have been her tackling that perp, not him. That wasn’t what had her pouting…but it was a good excuse. “Yeah. I’m just ready to get back in action, you know?”
His Best Mistake (Shillings Agency) Page 10
