by Yvonne Heidt
“But that’s not who attacked you.”
“No, it isn’t. But I’d like to know what did. It feels like it wants to harm me and keep me from Jordan.” Sunny paused. “And don’t tell me to back away from her. I’m not going to. Tell me how to deal with it.”
“Your father and I wanted to protect you. We never wanted you to deal with the dark energies.”
“I do know that, Mom. But I can’t depend on you to protect me all the time. It’s not fair to either of us. This entity actually struck me physically, and for a second, I felt an unfamiliar energy. It felt odd but powerful at the same time. I could clearly see the color purple intertwining with my light, but then a dark cloud obliterated the lights.”
“Sex energy,” her mother said. “Jordan’s shadows meeting with your energy. That worries me.”
“Mom, how come that never happened with Shade? I mean, we had some powerful experiences and I don’t ever recall this feeling.”
Her mother sighed. “Shade soaked it up for you, keeping your light separate from her darkness.” She smiled sadly. “It’s one of the reasons you wouldn’t work as a couple. It was so taxing on her.”
“I didn’t ask her to protect me.”
“I know you didn’t, honey. But the people who love us can’t help but do so. We were so apt in naming you Sunny. It’s your nature and personality. The light simply radiates from you, sending out a beacon for miles around.”
Sunny closed her eyes. Had she really been that ignorant? That the people around her took care of all the dirty work for her? She was appalled. “I have to learn how to take care of myself. We’ll start with this. What is in the darkness that threatens me?”
Her mother was quiet, but Sunny waited patiently for the answer.
“Jordan’s nightmares.”
*
The ride to her apartment had taken less than five minutes, and Jordan was still waiting for Shade to talk. The fog hadn’t lifted and still surrounded the city, making it seem much later than it actually was. Irritation nibbled at her nerves. “Listen—”
“No,” Shade said and turned sideways to face her. “You listen. Sunny’s special.”
Jordan felt a stab of jealousy just hearing the words and was uncomfortable. It wasn’t an emotion she was familiar with and she ground her teeth. “And?”
“We protect her.”
“I’m not trying to hurt her. And isn’t who Sunny chooses to spend time with, I don’t know, maybe her business?”
“Look. I’m not saying that you mean to, but I’m telling you that you are causing her pain. She has an amazing gift, one that makes people feel better just for being in the same room with her, you know?”
Jordan didn’t know about others; she only knew that she was drawn to her. She mentally switched herself into work mode as if she were listening to a confession. She was good at that, shutting her feelings down into a tiny compartment so she could see a situation clearly. Jordan nodded shortly to signal Shade to continue but had already made up her mind that her reasons to keep Jordan away were entirely personal and nothing to do with any woo-woo excuses.
“You’re only partially right,” Shade said.
Jordan shifted in her seat. She hadn’t said anything out loud.
“I’ve known Sunny since we were eleven years old. When I met her and her family, they changed my life.” She paused. “I was almost exactly where you were at that age.”
Jordan was immediately suspicious. How could she know where she’d been at any age? “You don’t know anything about me.” She tried to stare Shade down. “Nothing at all.”
“You see? That’s the problem with you. You don’t get it. You don’t understand.”
Jordan had no clue what she was talking about. The conversation made no sense whatsoever to her. Nothing had seemed normal since she moved to Bremerton. Her emotions were all messed up, and she couldn’t think of the questions she wanted to ask. That never happened. Where was the cop in her and where were all her questions?
Shade continued. “You have yourself shut up in this black-and-white world and refuse to acknowledge there’s shit you don’t know about. Stuff is going on all around you, Jordan, that you don’t perceive, and you’re held prisoner by your skepticism because of it.”
“This conversation is so fucking off the wall. I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here.”
“I know. And until you do? Until you admit you know nothing about what we do and get rid of this garbage you carry around with you, you need to stay away from Sunny. She doesn’t work with the dark energy, and you just keep shoving her against it, where she’s blind.”
“I—” Jordan found herself still at a loss for words, and comprehension stayed just out of her reach.
“Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.”
Jordan twitched hearing the phrase for the second time. Steve had told her the same thing.
“Look, I have to go,” Shade said.
Jordan stood at the curb while the van drove away. She startled and turned when a man laughed in her ear, but there was no one else around. She was alone in front of the building.
The hair rose on the back of her neck. She really hated all this creepy shit.
Chapter Twelve
Jordan got to work early and plopped down at her desk where she began typing commands into the computer. When she found what she was looking for, she studied the screen then laughed out loud when she read the name at the top. Lacey Stewart. It conjured an image of a frilly girly-girl, and Shade’s persona couldn’t be any further from it if she tried.
She felt a small twinge of guilt. Shade hadn’t done anything to break the law, that she knew of anyway, and nothing that would warrant the background check. No, Jordan’s motive was pure jealousy and she knew it.
She’d tossed and turned for most of the night and argued with herself. She remembered her resolve to walk away from Sunny because of how very different they were, but that thought was pushed aside by the sight of her glorious naked body on the stairs and her taste against her lips. She tried to find explanations for what Sunny called paranormal activity, both from the basement and in Sunny’s bedroom, but her mind refused to come up with any. Shade’s strange behavior and warnings rang in her ears right before the disembodied laughter in her ear. Then the whole process would start over again, looping and replaying from the beginning.
It left her awake half the night. Jordan had been unable to shut her mind off and go to sleep.
The plumbing in the walls banging at odd intervals didn’t help either.
When she woke, she was groggy but determined to find answers. She was insanely curious to find out what Shade meant last night when she said she’d been where Jordan had. How could she possibly know anything? Jordan’s own record wasn’t available to the public, and there were no references about her childhood that could be found in her online history that Shade would have access to.
Jordan skimmed the report, finding no major arrests or warrants except a criminal trespassing charge that was dismissed three years ago. She had to smile when she saw Sunny’s name as a known accomplice. She was sure this was the result from one of their investigations.
A few clicks opened the sealed juvenile record. Jordan didn’t know why people thought that sealing the record would have any bearing at all, since they were easily accessed and the information openly available to be used against someone in the right circumstances.
Runaway, petty shoplifting, loitering. Wait. Here was a stint in Western State Mental Hospital, where her mother left her at the age of sixteen. She cross-checked Shade’s mother and found several arrests for solicitation and drug dealing. Crap, thought Jordan, she didn’t want to sympathize with her.
“What are you doing?” Vince came up behind her and Jordan quickly closed the file.
“Nothing.”
He raised an eyebrow but, thankfully, didn’t ask any further questions. “Let’s go to work.”
*
Sunny stared at the phone in reception willing it to ring when Tiffany walked in. The closer she got, the worse she looked, and Sunny felt pulses of frustration laced with sadness. For being such an amazing healer, Tiffany had a difficult time applying her gift to herself.
“Oh, honey,” Sunny said. “Rough day yesterday?” She rose to go to her, but Tiffany held out a hand to stop her.
“Not right now, please. If I get sympathy, I’ll start all over again.”
“What happened?”
“Two words,” Tiffany said over her shoulder on her way to the kitchen. “My mother.”
Sunny debated whether she should leave her alone as she had asked or follow her. After two seconds, she hurried after her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
Sunny hated that she looked so defeated but said nothing while she stood next to her.
“You got laid.” Tiffany smirked at her, changing the subject.
“God, Tiff. Way to get the attention off you.”
“You also had another panic attack.” She put a gentle hand on Sunny’s shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment. “There’s just a tiny imbalance left.”
“Mom stayed with me.”
“What I wouldn’t give for a mother like yours. No, wait. I don’t want to get started. Let’s get back to the sex.”
Sunny smiled. “Love to, Tiff. But I have a client in about—” She was going say two minutes, but the bell on the door interrupted her. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I will be. Now go. You can throw me a bone later, okay?”
“Deal.”
The woman waiting at the front desk stood ramrod straight, her arms held closely to her sides, her shoulders back. Sunny felt the dark defensive wall before she even reached her. Great, that’s just what she needed, a skeptical client who would fight her at every turn. Readings were so much easier when clients were open. She forced a smile. “Good morning. I’m Sunny. Can I get you anything? Coffee, tea, water?”
The woman looked at her and stuck out her hand. “Hannah, and no, I’m good. Let’s get this over with.”
Sunny fought the urge to wipe her palm on her skirt. Awesome, she’s mean too. “Okay. The reading room is on the second floor. Follow me, please.” She felt the woman’s eyes boring holes between her shoulder blades, so instead she directed her attention to the staircase, flashing on the image of Jordan between her legs. No, don’t go there. Now’s not the time to think about it.
She directed Hannah to the door and took water for herself before sitting across from her at the small round table her client chose. No comfort for Hannah, she thought. Sunny would have preferred to curl up on the soft chairs, but it was always the client’s choice.
The agitation bubbling in the air across from her was seeping into her system already. Sunny took a deep breath to center herself and put on her fake smile. “Shall we get started?”
“I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t believe in this crap.”
Sunny paused and heard a male voice. Ah, she thought. The woman’s husband.
I don’t know why she’s here either because I don’t want to talk to the bitch.
Sunny kept her face neutral but showed her amusement to the spirit telepathically.
I couldn’t stand talking to her when I was alive. Why the hell would I want to talk to her now?
Sunny did something she’d never done in her career. Instead of beginning the reading and asking the man’s spirit for details to give to her client for validation, she stood up for herself. “Then why are you here?”
Hannah pulled back in her chair, looking shocked at the retort.
Ha! That’s it, Blondie, give it to her. She’s desperate for details on the money accounts that I hid from her. I wouldn’t tell her anyway, even if she begged.
Sunny waited for Hannah to answer. She wasn’t going to justify what she did for this woman, or try to convince her. When Hannah narrowed her eyes, her anger came through clearly, almost striking Sunny like a poisoned dart. And that was the tipping point for her. She didn’t have time for people like this anymore. She’d had enough. “Look, I’m not going to waste your time or mine.” Or your husband’s. That felt good. “I’ll be happy to refund your money downstairs.” She stood then walked to the door. “I’ll just show you out.”
Hannah’s face turned red, but she gathered her coat and purse before stalking past her into the hallway.
The man’s spirit showed her a dozen roses, but Sunny knew they weren’t for his wife; they were for her. She could hear his hooting laughter follow her to reception where Sunny handed the woman a check.
“I’m telling all my friends and acquaintances about what a farce this is.”
“Oh, please do,” Sunny said sweetly. “I wouldn’t want to waste their time either. Have a nice day.”
After she left, Sunny checked her schedule and saw she had a couple of hours before her next appointment. Her mother probably wouldn’t come in today after staying up so late with her last night. She knew she would have stayed awake and watched over her even while she slept.
Although she should have felt a kind of hangover from the previous day’s events, she wasn’t tired at all. In fact, she felt energized. She returned to the second floor to cleanse it of Hannah’s negative energy. She felt taller somehow after shutting her down the way she did. It felt so good; she made a decision to do it more often.
Another hour passed and the phone still hadn’t rung. Why wasn’t Jordan calling her? Her newfound confidence slipped a little, then reasserted itself. Why was she waiting for her to call anyway? She punched in Jordan’s number, happily anticipating hearing her voice. When it went to voice mail, she remembered, in great detail, the psychic and panic attacks she’d had in front of Jordan, and, deeply embarrassed, she didn’t leave a message. She didn’t feel quite so invincible. No wonder she wasn’t calling her.
Jordan had clearly said she hadn’t wanted anything to do with the paranormal. Sunny had nothing in her past to gauge this experience by. She wasn’t innocent by any means when it came to sex. She’d had lovers. But always, she’d been able to discern their feelings for her and was able to act accordingly to keep from being hurt. There was always that little part of her that observed instead of engaged. Sunny knew the difference between the women who wanted her for the way she looked, and the groupies who wanted her to be all psychic, all the time. Like the stockbroker she’d dated who wanted predictions for her portfolio two weeks after they started dating.
The detached part of her always knew when to walk away. She felt completely different with Jordan. Not being able to read her emotionally left Sunny open to her own feelings. There were no protective barriers between them, and she felt vulnerable in a way she’d never been before.
The bell rang and Shade walked in. “How are you feeling?”
“Better, thank you. How was Jordan last night? What did she say when you took her home?” Does she want to see me anymore?
Shade hesitated and Sunny jumped in. “Truth, please. Don’t mollycoddle me.”
Shade took off her coat. “Sunny, you have to be careful, she—”
“No, don’t warn me off. Let’s talk about this.” Sunny noted Shade’s stiff shoulders but steeled her nerve before softening her voice. “Honey, we’ve both dated other people over the last seven years.”
“I know.”
“Shade, look at me.” Sunny would give anything in the world to take away the pain that radiated from her. “You have to let this go.”
“But I love you.” Shade sat across from her.
“I know you do. And I love you too.”
“But—”
“But you’re my very best friend in the world.”
Shade winced and Sunny’s heart cracked. It was almost like breaking up with her all over again. “Why does Jordan feel so different for you compared to the other women I’ve dated? Why are your walls up again?”
“Because you’re different with
her, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“How am I different with her, Shade? I don’t get the feeling she wants to hurt me.” Sunny thought of the way Jordan kissed her, then stopped before she put the image in Shade’s mind.
“I’ve already seen the two of you together. Jordan’s an open book, and she doesn’t have your blocks.”
“Oh. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
“I guess there’s that part of me that always hoped you’d come back to me.”
“Shade.” Sunny didn’t want to feel responsible for her feelings.
“Let me finish, please. The dancer, the stockbroker, the librarian, the schoolteacher, they were all just company, you know?”
“Hey, you make it sound…” Sunny felt her face flush with heat.
“You didn’t love them, Sunny. I could see you with them, and it hurt, but they weren’t any real threat to me.”
“I don’t love Jordan,” Sunny said automatically. Did she?
“You’re this close. I know.” Shade held her fingers an inch apart. “She lives in the dark, a place I know well because I live there too. But she didn’t just fall into it; she grew up there, and she doesn’t understand it yet, not the way I do. Jordan has things attached to her that want to destroy you.”
Sunny remembered the psychic attack, but the fear was negated by the image of being in Jordan’s arms. “But—”
“You can’t fix her. You should stop trying to.”
“But that’s the thing, Shade. I can’t read her. When I’m around her, all I perceive are my own feelings. That’s never happened before.”
“Which is how you got attacked, and that’s even worse. I can still hear you screaming in my dreams, and it’s killing me.”
“That’s not fair. You know I would never do that to you on purpose. You have to pull back, for both of our sakes.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Please try.” Sunny knelt in front of her. “I can’t stand to see you hurting and know that I’m responsible for it. I feel your pain.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
