But the instant his lips touched Meg’s, he knew nothing would be simple with her. Her caring, her kindness, the quiver in her body when his heat met hers told him they were dangerous together. She was understanding and softness, loveliness and intelligence—a woman who could bring richness to his life.
He pushed his tongue between her lips, hungry for her, yearning for something he couldn’t name. He thought she might resist. Maybe he even hoped she’d pull away so he wouldn’t have to decide between fair and right, restraint or abandon. But she didn’t pull away. She let him taste her, and she tasted him.
This kiss wasn’t a thank-you. It was passion as complex as his life. His body surged toward hers. He shuddered as their hips met and he felt her breasts against his chest. The scent of her was as intoxicating as her taste. His fingers closed over tendrils of her hair, sliding into its silkiness. He heard her moan and he caressed her back, stopping at her waist, rocking his hips against hers.
Part of him waited for a protest. Shelley had been a practical lover. She’d taken and given what was necessary, nothing more. But Meg didn’t protest. Her hands moved from his shoulders to his neck. She stroked his jaw, and his passion burned even stronger with her touch. He ached to lay her down on the grass and—
Travis was home. Logan had to find out what his son needed and give it to him. He wasn’t free to start a relationship with anyone—not when Travis was so unsettled, not when Logan wasn’t sure of his abilities as a father, let alone a husband. Shelley’s decision to continue to use birth-control pills without telling him had left him wondering what kind of husband he’d been. How many nights when sleep was beyond his grasp had he analyzed their marriage, analyzed his career, his actions, his words, looking for the answer to what he’d done wrong?
He’d married Shelley because it had been the right thing to do. He’d moved his family to Willow Valley so Travis could grow up in the right atmosphere—without danger lurking on every corner. And now…
Travis wanted to run, and Logan couldn’t seem to fit the pieces back together again. What business did he have kissing Meg Dawson as if he’d never kiss again? What business did he have involving her in his life when involvement would only bring them both chaos?
She had a life in Washington, D.C. Willow Valley was only a stopping-over point for her. It wasn’t home.
As much as his blood raged with the desire to kiss more deeply, touch more intimately, make love with her until confusion was only a memory, he knew better. He was stronger than his desire, more reasonable than a drive that could only cause them both a pack of trouble. He had enough of that already.
He pulled away and opened his eyes. He’d been lost in Meg, lost, for a few minutes, to the reality around him. She opened her eyes, too. He saw the passion still lingering, her surprise that the kiss was over and vulnerability he had no right to see.
But she was quick—quicker than he was. Dropping her hands to her sides, she took a deep breath, then said, “It’s been an emotional day, and we’re both tired.”
As if that explained it all. Could she dismiss the kiss so easily? Could he? He had no choice. “I have to go to Travis.”
She nodded. “I know.”
Worried about Travis all day, he’d forgotten why Meg had come to him in the first place. “Earlier today, you said you wanted my perspective on Costa Rica. We never got to it.”
She shrugged. “I’ll work it out.”
He clasped her shoulder. “You don’t have to work it out alone.”
“I always work out my problems alone.”
The frustration of the day and the potency of their kiss made him swear. “Dammit, Meg. You don’t have to. You gave me moral support today. Can’t you see I’d like to do the same for you?”
She took a step back. “You don’t owe me anything. And I don’t need moral support. Just forget I mentioned Costa Rica.”
Maybe she was acting defensive and remote because the kiss had shaken her, too. “The same way I should forget about that kiss?” he pressed.
She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
He touched the back of his hand to her cheek. “You’re still flushed. I don’t think you can forget it so easily.”
Her voice trembled slightly as she asked, “Can you?”
He shook his head. “No. But like you, I’m going to try. If you decide you do need moral support, call me. I’ll be glad to listen.”
As she stepped away, he knew she wouldn’t call. That kiss had changed everything between them. That kiss had pulled them closer together, yet pushed them further away. When she got into her car, he found he was angry at himself, angry with her, but most of all angry at fate. Timing was everything. And the timing for him and Meg was all wrong.
Chapter 5
Pulling a chocolate cake out of the oven Wednesday afternoon, Meg took an appreciative whiff as she set it on a cooling rack. Her uncle loved chocolate cake, and Lily baked one once a week. But today her aunt had complained about feeling tired. Meg had convinced her to nap while she baked the cake. Carmen and the baby were sitting in the backyard under the shade of a maple, watching her husband mow the plot of grass on the side of the house.
When Meg looked out the kitchen window, she caught a glimpse of her uncle as he disappeared inside the garage. She couldn’t help but smile. Just this morning, he’d patted her head as if she were twelve and told her to enjoy her day. He and her aunt took pleasure from such small things, like their vegetable garden, taking walks by the stream, sitting together on the front porch, talking with Carmen and Manuel. Meg sighed. It was a life she might never know.
The doorbell interrupted her reverie. She placed the pot holders on the counter and went to the living room. To her surprise, Travis stood at the door, looking unsure. He wore jeans, an oversize T-shirt and a baseball cap. His face was flushed, and he looked hot.
“Hi, Travis. It’s good to see you.” She opened the wooden screen door.
He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You said to stop by sometime if I wanted to look at your pictures.”
“Sure. Come on in.”
He looked agitated as he removed his hands from his pockets and shifted on his worn sneakers. “I didn’t know if you meant it. I mean, if you’re busy or something…”
“I’m not busy. The photographs are on my laptop on the coffee table. Would you like some lemonade?”
“Yeah. That’d be great. I walked over, and it’s kinda hot.”
She gestured to the sofa. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
Meg poured two glasses of lemonade and glanced at the cake. Crossing to the archway, she asked, “Would you like a piece of chocolate cake? It’s still warm, and I didn’t ice it yet….”
“I don’t care about icing. But…” As he trailed off, his gaze was probing. “Why are you being so nice to me? Because you’re after my dad?”
So that was the real reason for this visit. Meg picked up the lemonade and went to the couch. She set one glass on the coffee table for him and took the other with her to the rocker across from it. “I told you I’ve only known your dad for a short while.”
Travis sat on the edge of the sofa. “That’s all it takes.”
Meg couldn’t lie to Travis. She certainly wasn’t “after” Logan, but she couldn’t deny the attraction between them that Travis probably sensed. “I admire your dad. We were thrown into an unusual situation together. Did he tell you about Manuel and Carmen?”
Travis shook his head. “He only lectures me. He doesn’t talk to me.”
Briefly Meg told Travis about the birth of the baby.
The teenager still seemed wary. “But you came with him to get me.”
“For moral support.”
“Dad doesn’t need moral support,” Travis argued. “He’s a rock.” Travis sounded almost sorry, as if he wished Logan weren’t so strong.
“He was worried about you, relieved he knew where you were, but concerned about your injuries.”
The boy stared at her laptop on the coffee table. “Yeah, so concerned he’s making me go to school tomorrow.”
It was obvious Travis needed someone to talk to, someone who wouldn’t either judge or dismiss him. “You feel you need more time? Are your ribs still bothering you?”
He flushed. “No. It’s just…it’s going to be hard seeing everyone after being gone. But dad told me if I get decent grades this year, he’ll buy me a used car next summer. He called it a contract, and if I screw up I don’t get the car. I know it’s a bribe to get me to do what he wants.”
“What do you want?”
Travis met her gaze directly with the same honesty she’d found in Logan. “I don’t know. I feel trapped here.”
Somehow she wanted to help him see his options so he could start living life instead of running away from it. “Can you look at getting your diploma as the key to freedom?”
He looked puzzled for a moment. “You really believe that?”
“Yes. Without it, you will be trapped. With it, new worlds will open up to you, and you can choose whichever one you want. You mentioned backpacking in Spain. Did you ever consider becoming an exchange student for a semester?”
“No. I never even thought I could.”
Smiling, she suggested casually, “I bet if you ask Mr. Holden, he’ll find information for you. But it would depend on your grades whether you’re eligible or not.”
Travis picked up his glass and took some long swallows. Then he set it down with a click. “So, if you’re not after my dad, why do you care? I’m nothing to you.”
“I guess because I relate to how you feel. I know it makes a difference if you have a goal, if you’re heading toward something rather than running away from something, whether it be your parents or a small town or a life you don’t want.”
Travis turned his lemonade glass around on the table. “So, what was your goal? If you like it here, why don’t you stay?”
Meg had thought about that ever since she’d graduated from college. “Because I traveled so much as a child, I had a talent for languages. I knew what it was like to stand face-to-face with someone in a strange place and not be able to communicate even simple things. I wanted to help people understand each other. That was more important to me than anything else.”
“So if I want to get out of Willow Valley, I should find the fastest way out. If that’s a diploma, then that should be my goal.”
“That’s one way of looking at it. But you don’t have to hate where you are while you’re accomplishing your goal. Don’t you think you can have some fun at the same time?”
He flipped off the baseball cap. “With Dad breathing down my neck?”
“Why do you think he does that?”
Travis ran the bill of the cap through his fingers. After some hesitation, he blurted out, “Because he feels responsible for me.”
“I think it’s more than that. He loves you.”
“Like you said, you haven’t known him very long.”
“I get thrown into situations with people, and I’m pretty good at seeing what’s below the surface. Your dad loves you and wants to protect you. He wants what’s best for you. Do you ever try to talk about all this with him?”
Travis snapped his cap down on the sofa beside him. “He doesn’t want to listen to what I have to say.”
Forgetting she’d ever been thirsty, Meg sat forward in her chair and set her lemonade glass on the coffee table. “Travis, try to talk to him, tell him what you want, what you feel. It will help you both.”
Travis shook his head. “It’ll just stir up trouble. I know it.”
She couldn’t give up that easily, and she didn’t want Travis to give up that easily. “Will you think about it?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.” After a pause, he said, “You never really answered me about you and Dad.”
“I’m going back to Washington soon, Travis. So nothing can happen with me and your dad.”
He didn’t look quite satisfied with her answer. She wasn’t satisfied herself, but she didn’t know what else to tell him. Closing the topic for now, she asked, “Do you still want that cake?”
He looked at the laptop again, then he looked back at her. “Sure. Chocolate’s my favorite.”
Meg went to the kitchen. She didn’t mind talking about Travis’s feelings, but she didn’t want to analyze hers too closely. Cake and pictures would distract them both.
Since Travis had walked to Ned and Lily’s, Meg asked if he’d like a ride home. He accepted, the conversation between them flowing smoothly about the places she’d been. She couldn’t tell him about her work since much of it was classified, but she could tell him about the sights she’d seen.
He was enthralled.
When Meg pulled up in front of Logan’s house, both the sheriff’s car and the sedan were parked in the driveway. “It looks as if your dad’s here now.”
“Yeah. I wonder why. Unless he came home to check up on me.”
Meg heard the anger in Travis’s voice. Before they could get out of the car, Logan stepped out onto the porch and strode toward them. When Travis opened his door, Logan demanded, “Where were you? I called and you weren’t here.”
“Don’t worry. If I take off again, I’ll leave a note,” Travis said sarcastically.
Logan rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Travis, it would help if you’d try to work with me on this.”
“If you mean telling you minute by minute where I’ll be, forget it. For four months, I took care of myself. I can do it now, too.”
“You took such good care of yourself I had to pick you up at a hospital!”
Travis climbed out and slammed the door, then took off for the house without another look at Logan.
“Travis, I’m not finished talking to you….”
Travis ignored his father and went inside.
Logan came around to Meg’s open window. “Where did you find him?”
“I didn’t find him anywhere. He came to see me—to look at the photographs I mentioned. Logan, he’s sixteen. He wants to be treated like an adult, not a child.”
Anger creased Logan’s brow and was evident in his words. “When he starts behaving like an adult, I’ll treat him like one.”
She remembered everything Travis had said, the sense that he wanted to get closer to his father but didn’t know how. “You’ll lose him if you keep this up.”
Logan tightened his hands into fists, his body rigid. “I didn’t ask for your advice.”
“No, you didn’t. But I’m telling you what I see. Like any boy Travis’s age, he wants his father’s approval. But for some reason, he doesn’t think he can get it.”
“You see Travis twice and you think you know him. I’ve spent sixteen years with him.”
“Do you know him?” she asked softly.
Logan’s face was etched with pain. “Thanks, Meg. I really need another guilt trip. He’s wild and out of control, and nothing I say or do settles him down. He doesn’t want to spend time with me. Can’t you see that? Adults and their authority are taboo right now. Especially mine.”
Meg had chosen a different route to rebel against her parents. She’d never felt she could earn their love. But instead of acting out to get their attention, she’d decided to go toward the love she knew she could get. She’d decided to live with Lily and Ned. And she’d thrown herself into her life’s mission—helping people understand each other.
Travis was acting out. Something was definitely bothering him. For some reason, there was a wall between Logan and his son. Because of guilt, hurt, something else?
Silence fell between Meg and Logan, and distance grew though neither of them moved.
Logan finally said, his voice cold, “Maybe you should stay out of this.”
Hurt stabbed deep, and she responded automatically, “Maybe I should.” When she turned the key in the ignition, Logan stepped away from the car. He was granite-still, his expression hard. Nothing she could say would c
hange his attitude; more than being angry with her, he was angry with himself because he couldn’t find a solution. For that, he’d have to look into his heart.
Meg pulled away from the curb. Although she was tempted to look into her rearview mirror, she kept her gaze straight ahead. She was just a bystander. She didn’t have a good reason to get involved. And she’d better remember that.
The next evening, Meg rocked Tomás on the front porch, a yearning in her heart as she did. He was so adorable with his black hair and beautiful dark eyes. He waved his arms, and she took one tiny fist in her hand. Already he’d grown.
She always felt excited when Carmen let her hold Tomás. Meg indulged herself a moment, fantasizing. A picture of Logan appeared in her mind. She tried to block out his face. She was thinking about motherhood, not about him.
Tires on the gravel lane made her look up. Logan’s car. Had she conjured him up? Sure, and she could make everything right between him and Travis, too, she thought wryly. She wished she could stop thinking about Logan and his son. No one could do anything about their relationship but them. If she knew what was good for her, she’d stay out of it. Logan had said as much.
She thought about hiding out in her room. She thought about leaving.
As Logan walked toward the front porch, he remembered his last conversation with Meg. He’d caught a glimpse of her as he’d driven down the lane. Still, he wasn’t prepared for her sitting on the swing like a beautiful madonna, holding Tomás in her arms. A need inside him, so basic it hurt, urged him closer to her while self-preservation shouted he should get back in his car and drive away as fast as he could.
But he wanted to say goodbye to Manuel and Carmen.
Meg looked up as he approached, her expression wary. No wonder. His attitude yesterday had been anything but pleasant. Not knowing where to start, he just said, “Lily invited me to supper.”
“I see.”
The invitation was obviously a surprise to Meg. It was also obvious that she was going to let him carry the ball. “She said Manuel and Carmen are leaving in the morning.”
The Sheriff’s Proposal Page 6
