I swallowed around the lump forming in my throat, hating to hear him say that word. They were separated, and supposed to be getting a divorce. They had married straight out of high school, young and in love, but things weren’t going to work out. How stupid was I to believe that? It wasn’t like I even liked Tanner when we first met; Monroe and Miller forced us together. He irked the hell out of me, grated on every single one of my nerves, and he knew it. He liked to push me right to the very edge, but I seemed to like the challenge, oddly enough.
I wouldn’t say we were seeing each other, but something was starting. I hadn’t told Monroe because I wasn’t even sure what was happening between Tanner and me at the time. Then, he helped me move into my apartment. I was a mess when my parents kicked me out and Tanner was there for me, helping me every step of the way. I started to look at him differently. When he kissed me, things really started to change between us, and when he slipped my tank top up and over my head, I was done for. I couldn’t fight the growing sexual tension between us any longer.
I wouldn’t say we had been sneaking around—there wasn’t a need to—but we were keeping things quiet. Then he suddenly stopped calling, stopped showing up. It confused the hell out of me and there was no one I could talk to about it.
I didn’t see him again until we were in Monroe’s hospital room after she suffered a ruptured ovarian cyst. Marissa was there with her hands all over him, and he refused to look in my direction.
It hurt more than I thought it would. I had no idea how I was able to maintain my composure that day when I was completely falling apart on the inside.
And now, he just showed up tonight like nothing ever happened between us—like he wasn’t here with his wife and he wanted to just talk casually like old friends or something.
“Great, then go find your wife.”
He sighed loudly, shaking his head back and forth. The twinkling lights wrapped around the tree played off his eyes, but I tried to ignore it. “Marissa was in a bad place. She had some shit going on that she didn’t tell me about. We’re working through it. I’m sorry. I’m always thinking about you, Amelia. No matter how hard I try not to.”
“Don’t,” I interrupted. I poked a finger into his chest and he backed up a step. “I don’t want to hear it, Tanner. I really don’t. You and I both know we were just having fun, things weren’t ever serious between us, and they weren’t going to be. So, erase our relationship from your head and quit thinking about me.” I was lying to him and myself, but I needed to. It was completely necessary, even though it couldn’t be true. It would be impossible now.
I pushed past him, his face unreadable as I went by. “Oh, by the way,” I threw over my shoulder, “I’m pregnant.”
***
Tanner
“Do I look alright?” Marissa smoothed a hand through her hair, pursing her lips at me from the mirror.
“Yes, baby. You look gorgeous.”
“Are you sure?” She pinched her cheek. “God,” she laughed dryly, “don’t you remember how much I used to whine about wanting to be skinny like all of the other girls in school?”
I did, but I shook my head, finishing up the buttons on my dress shirt. “Those girls were skinny bitches. You were perfect.”
“And now, I’m rail thin and look like a cancer patient.” She frowned at her reflection and I wrapped my arms around her waist.
“You look fine. I promise. You’re probably the only one who notices.”
“Damn drugs,” she muttered and I stiffened, running a hand through my hair before placing a kiss on her cheek. I hated that word and the effect it has had on our lives.
Marissa and I had been together since our sophomore year of high school. It just felt right to get married as soon as we graduated. We were in love, and it didn’t seem to be dwindling until I was knocked on my ass and caught her in bed with some douchebag. To say that it shocked the hell out of me was an understatement. Her betrayal threw my whole world off its axel.
I was pissed, hurt, confused—the pain was indescribable. I was prepared to divorce her, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind, but then I found out the real root of the problem. Somehow she had gotten involved with the wrong people, who in turn, introduced her to drugs. I could see her going down a path that she wouldn’t be able to turn around from, and I had to help her. I couldn’t look the other way.
But by that time, Amelia had wormed her way right into my heart. I never saw it coming. Really, I couldn’t stand the girl the first time I met her. I could tell she was high maintenance with her manicured nails, perfect hair, always in a dress. I was pretty sure she woke up in a dress every morning with her makeup on. She was so sweet to other people, it was almost sickening—but there was something hiding behind all of that, an attitude that seemed to come out only when I was around. I loved it.
My head was telling me to not give Marissa another chance, to explore what was happening with Amelia, but my heart wouldn’t let me. There was too much history between Marissa and I. She was still my wife, and I needed to help her. She came to me for help—everyone else had turned their backs on her. I had to help her when no one else would.
The drive over to Miller’s place was quiet. Marissa didn’t know about the relationship I had with Amelia—at least I hadn’t told her—but I had a feeling she knew something had happened between us. She never asked though, so I didn’t feel it was necessary to talk about it. Marissa was probably more worried about being around Miller. The three of us had been friends growing up, but when Marissa and I got together, Miller started to back off. Then he got busy opening up the club and his construction business. Marissa always wanted me home with her, so I didn’t get out much. Miller liked to say it was because I was ‘pussy whipped’.
I snorted as we pulled up near the pond, seeing exactly how ‘pussy whipped’ he was now, but I couldn’t have been happier for him. “Alright,” I rubbed my hands together, grinning, “let’s go see Miller step out of his comfort zone. I can’t believe he’s willingly doing this.”
Marissa giggled, shutting her door. “Who knew Mr. Dark and Brooding would do something like this? I think it’s pretty romantic, though. Monroe must be special.”
“She’s a great girl. Maybe you two can get to know each other a little bit better.” As soon as I said it, I wanted to take it back. Monroe was Amelia’s best friend; she had to have known something was going on between us. Monroe probably hated me now for cutting Amelia out of my life without even a blink—at least that’s how I assumed she saw it. No one except me knew that it was eating me alive.
Marissa said something as we made our way around to the front of the tent, but I didn’t hear a word of it because I immediately spotted Amelia. Her back was turned to me, her golden blonde hair flowing down her back as she carefully set out desserts that she must have made. My mouth watered at the sight for two reasons: one because of her long tan legs that seemed to go on for miles, playing against the white lace of her dress that was cut dangerously high and made me want to carry her out of here before any other asshole could see her; and two, because of the pieces of heaven she was laying out on the table. That woman knew how to bake, and was scary as hell when she was doing it.
Mamaw spotted us as soon as we walked in, giving me a big hug and Marissa a hesitant one. Mamaw was Miller’s grandma that had raised him after his mom took off, and she had been like a grandma to all of Miller’s friends growing up. The mess that Marissa had gotten herself into, though, seemed to rub Mamaw the wrong way, and she hadn’t quite warmed up to her again.
I slipped away once Mamaw and Marissa broke the ice a bit and started talking about Marissa getting back into school. I needed to talk to Amelia. The guilt of showing up with Marissa, totally blindsiding Amelia, was eating me up. I needed to explain myself.
I could tell Amelia was ignoring me as soon as I stepped into the tent. Her whole body stiffened and she was being stubborn as hell by not turning around to look at me. I could smell her perfume fr
om here and I inhaled the peach scent—my southern peach. I never knew how much I loved peaches until the scent was on her skin and my mouth wanted to be everywhere all at once. I shook my head, knocking those thoughts straight out of it. I was an asshole for being back with Marissa but still thinking about Amelia in that way. I couldn’t help myself.
I cleared my throat and she finally twisted her body around, placing a hand on her jutted out hip. “Tanner.” Her nose was pointed in the air, avoiding my eyes. I bit back a grin at seeing her like this. I loved her sassy spitfire attitude but I knew the real Amelia underneath all the show. She tried to scoot past me but I was quicker than her. She tried to go the opposite way but I was already there, blocking her. She puffed out a breath of air, her feet freezing. “What do you want?” She stomped a heel into the grass, placing both hands on her hips. It’s fucking adorable.
“Did you really just stomp your foot?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and I swallowed a groan. All she was doing was making the swell of her tits bubble up even more, causing me to lick my lips and imagine her naked. “And why would you care?”
“I don’t, I just thought it was kind of se—”
“Don’t. Stop. Right. There.” She held up a hand to stop me, which was probably a good thing. I was acting like a complete dumbass when Marissa wasn’t more than a hundred feet away. I just wanted to explain myself to Amelia. She finally looked at me, bringing those mesmerizing eyes to mine and I saw her whole face soften as her eyes darted up and down the length of my body, taking me in like a tall glass of water in the middle of the Sahara Desert. Damn straight. Right here is where I would add something cocky in about her checking me out, but this time I kept my mouth shut. Things had changed. “Amelia, don’t do this. I’m sorry, I just…I don’t know what to do.”
“Really? Because it seems like you’re doing just fine. Now, excuse me. I’m going to go watch my best friend get her happily ever after. At least someone gets one,” she muttered as she pushed past me. This time I decided not to follow her.
***
“They are so adorable,” Marissa whispered into my ear as Miller twirled Monroe around in a circle while everyone clapped for the happy couple. I couldn’t stop grinning because I was happy for my best friend; he was someone who definitely deserved it and Monroe was the perfect girl for him. She had brought him out of his shell and now he wasn’t such an asshole. “I need to pee. Think Miller will care if I go back up to his house to use the bathroom? You know I’m not a fan of port a potties.” Her nose wrinkled and I laughed, nodding my head towards the golf cart. “Nah, he won’t mind. Just take that up.”
“Alright.” She pecked me on the cheek and as soon as she was off, I went to find Amelia. I wasn’t going to leave things like that. I found her quickly. I figured she would be hiding from me so I looked for somewhere away from the crowd. She was sitting on a chair underneath a tree, shoving cookies into her mouth, which surprised the shit out of me. Amelia doesn’t really eat sweets, even though she makes them all the time. It was kind of weird, but uniquely Amelia.
She popped another cookie in her mouth and I lifted an eyebrow. “So, I finally found you.”
She groaned when her eyes locked with mine. “Yup, you found me.” And then she took another big bite of her cookie to avoid talking to me, but I wasn’t giving up this time.
“Amelia,” I sighed, taking a step forward and she pushed back into her seat. “Shit, I didn’t ever mean for things to end up like this.” She remained silent, so I kept going, hoping she would hear me out. “You know, I’ve been with the same girl for what seems like forever. When I met you… things were different.”
A dot of frosting had landed on her lips and her tongue darted out, licking it off slowly. I didn’t know if she was doing it on purpose or what but she was driving me insane. It was taking all of my will power not to lean over and lick the frosting straight off her sweet lips, but there was no way in hell I would stop there.
“Why? Because I became your mistress?” she asked, pulling me back to the reality of the situation.
“My mistress? Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I snapped, pressing the tips of my fingers against my temple. Is that really how she saw things? I couldn’t believe she thought that’s what was going on between us and it pissed me off.
“You showed up with her tonight, Tanner. Rubbing it in my face.” Her lips turned down and I looked away. I couldn’t let myself break, no matter how much everything in me was screaming to do so. I looked at the sky, hoping there was some kind of answer there. “What was I supposed to do, Amelia?”
“Whatever, it doesn’t even matter.” I glanced back to see her moving in her seat, preparing to run. “There wasn’t anything even between us anyway. I was just something to pass the time.”
“No, you weren’t. I thought things were over between Marissa and me. They should’ve been but I can’t do that to her now.”
“But it was okay for her to cheat on you? For you to walk in on her? And now what? You just forgive her? Sorry, I didn’t think The Cox let people just walk all over him. Only weak douche bags would do something like that.”
“I’m trying to forgive her,” I muttered, trying to believe it myself. I knew from someone looking in that they probably did think I was a complete idiot. But they weren’t the ones married to Marissa; I was and I refused to turn my back on her.
She hesitated before straightening up and then throwing her attitude right into my face. “Great, then go find your wife.”
I sighed, frustration at this situation eating me up before shaking my head. “Marissa was in a bad place. She had some shit going on that she didn’t tell me about. So we’re working through it. I’m sorry. I’m always thinking about you, Amelia. No matter how hard I try not to.”
“Don’t,” she snapped. She poked a finger into my chest and my entire body hummed in response. I had missed her touch. “I don’t want to hear it, Tanner. I really don’t. You and I both know we were just having fun, things weren’t ever serious and they weren’t going to be. So, erase our relationship from your head.” She was lying; we both knew it. Things were fun between us, but there was a possibility of something more. But now, I had to let that go. I explained myself to Amelia as much as I could and now I was with Marissa. I just hoped she could move on and find someone that deserved her, no matter how hard that would be for me to watch. She pushed past me and I didn’t stop her. But then she turned, pursing her lips at me as a million different emotions fluttered across her face. “Oh by the way.” She paused and I waited for her to say something smart, but then I caught her lips quivering and knew that there was something coming, something that I didn’t think I was going to be prepared for. “I’m pregnant.”
And then she walked away.
Chapter 1
Two years later
“I can’t believe the big day is here! It’s flown by.”
“Are you serious right now? It’s been two years since he proposed. Why did you two take so long to get here?”
“These things take time, Amelia.” Monroe pats her dark curls, looking at the mirror once more before turning towards me with a satisfied smile on her face. “Miller and I were both busy with work and I had to find time to plan. But none of that matters because the day is here. I’m getting married!”
She squeals and I grab her in a hug, careful to watch both of our faces so our makeup doesn’t smear. “I’m so happy for you, Roe-Roe. This is going to be the best day ever.”
She looks gorgeous in a snow white lace dress that’s cut high in the front but has a long flowing train in the back; her cowboy boots really make the whole look. When Monroe said she wanted a country wedding she meant it. I pull on the straps of the flowered dress I have on with boots that match hers. “Couldn’t you have picked something a little more… modest?” I scrunch my nose, hating that I sound like a grandma but I feel self-conscious about my body and this dress seems to be showing off a lot more skin t
han I like to nowadays.
“You look amazing.” Monroe gives me a pointed look. “You’re seriously delusional. You know that, right?” A tiny squeal stops me from answering and my legs are tackled and squeezed and I look down, smiling at the beautiful sight at my feet. “Look at my baby girl! Don’t you look so pretty? Are you ready to throw lots and lots of flowers for Aunt Roe-Roe?”
She smiles wide, showing off her tiny teeth and jabbers something but I catch Mommy in there and my heart swoons.
“Paisley Grace, if you walk down that aisle like a good little girl, I’ll have cookies waiting for you on the other side.” Monroe pats her soft blonde curls and I narrow my eyes at her.
“Don’t listen to her lies, Paisley. Even if Aunt Roe had those cookies stashed in her wedding dress, she would probably have ‘em in her tummy before you got down there. Where’s Grandma?”
She points to the door, running out it to find Grandma and I sigh heavily when she’s gone.
“Are you going to be alright today?” She looks at me, her face full of concern and I shake it off. She doesn’t need to worry about me. I’m completely fine. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Oh, I don’t know…maybe because you have to see Tanner?”
“Monroe, I see him every other weekend and once a week. I think I can handle it.” She looks doubtful and I feel the same way but I’m not telling her that. I don’t want to ruin her big day.
I knew we would have to see each other and spend most of the day together since I was the maid of honor and he was the best man—pictures, the ceremony, the reception. Just thinking of all of that was making me break out into a cold sweat. Tanner was a good dad but he wasn’t easy to be around—at least for me. I think because I couldn’t stop thinking about what could’ve been. I had this idea in my head that when I told Tanner I was pregnant, he would forget about Marissa and we would be a happy family. I never dreamed of getting pregnant, and definitely not having my daughter be part of a broken family before she was even born. But that was life.
Southern Sweets (Midnight) Page 2
