“I said I don’t think this is going to work,” I respond quietly.
“Tell me why,” he demands, pulling my chin upwards so I can no longer avoid his eyes.
“Because it’s not.” I laugh dryly. “And we were stupid to think it would. Too much has happened between us to go back—too much hurt.”
“Amelia.” His voice is full of pain and his eyes are glossed over. The agony that I’m feeling inside is evident upon his face. Why does life have to be so confusing? “I thought we put this behind us. I know I can’t undo what I did, but I’m trying like hell to make up for it. I’m trying so God damn hard. Is it not enough?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, my voice catching, and I blink furiously to keep the tears at bay.
“Did someone say something to change your mind?” His voice is hard and low, laced with rage.
I don’t answer him; I think my silence is enough and he groans, slamming his palm against the wall. “When are you gonna stop caring what people think? You might say you don’t, but you do. All that matters is us and our family, and I want that. I want to be a family so badly—the three of us. But even if Paisley hadn’t come along I know I would’ve still fallen so completely and utterly hard for you, there was no way I would’ve been able to help myself. There’s no denying what’s between us is a hundred percent real. Can you stop doubting that? Please?” he pleads, cradling my cheek with one of his warm calloused hands.
I bob my head slowly up and down, the reality of his words and the meaning behind them sinking in. He’s completely right. I need to put my fears behind and not let other people’s opinions affect me.
A smile spreads across my face, the doubt that was running through me being washed away by the feelings that he had just poured out. “I think I can. No more doubting how you feel about me. Promise. I just… you’re right. I need to stop thinking about what other people say or think about us. Plus, how can I resist Tanner Cox?”
“That’s more like it, yeah?” He grins, closing the distance between us and pulls on my hips. He presses a light kiss to my forehead—sometimes my favorite kind of kiss from him: simple, yet so tender. “Because I need you, Amelia. So damn much. Even though you haven’t been a part of my life for that long, I can’t imagine it without you and I don’t want to.” He moves his lips to each of my eyelids and my whole body hums in response.
I kiss the side of his face, slipping my hands underneath his t-shirt, sliding them across his back to pull him closer. He complies, pushing me harder into the wall and attacking my mouth with a sweet roughness that I don’t know how I could live without now that I’ve had it again. That’s a scary feeling though—to desperately want someone so bad and you already know how it is not to have them in your life. I don’t want to lose him again.
Tanner’s lips on mine are exactly what I need, but I forget all about that when his lips unlatch and he returns them to my tingling skin, trailing a path down my neck and onto my collarbone. He stops at the swell of my breasts, pushing down at the top of my dress and I gasp when he pinches one of my already painfully hard nipples. “Tanner,” I moan, squeezing my eyes shut when his warm mouth dips down and begins to suck.
Hot and heavy make out sessions like this one are the furthest Tanner’s let things go—besides that one amazingly mind blowing time in my office. Even then we never got to the actual deed, even though it was probably one of the hottest things. But I’m greedy. I want more. I grab a hold of his hand resting on my side and push it downwards, settling it on the hem of my dress. Pushing my hips towards him so he will hopefully read my mind. I move my lips to feather across his neck before grazing the sensitive skin with my teeth. “Tanner, please. I want more.”
“You want me to fuck you in the middle of our daughters’ birthday party?” He peels his mouth away, his laughter vibrating through my whole body. He fixes my dress before kissing my bare shoulder, his scruff rubbing against the skin and driving my body into a frenzied need. “Because that’s exactly what it would be—fucking. I won’t be able to do sweet and slow with you the first time, Amelia.”
I sigh, thinking that I’m being denied once again, but then he growls low, “Fuck it,” and his hands start tugging at the bottom of my dress and a throaty moan escapes from my throat as my body sags in relief. Finally.
But then the door is swinging open and Paisley is running in, shouting at the top of her lungs for me in an excited voice. Her tiny feet freeze when she spots us and the grin that spreads across her face is blinding before she slaps a hand over her mouth and starts to giggle. Then she runs back out into the living room and before I can even process what just happened, I hear Paisley announce to all of her party guests in a very cheerful voice, “Mommy and Daddy are kissing!”
“Well, guess that cat’s out of the bag,” Tanner quips before I smack him in the chest.
Chapter 18
Our outing to our family and friends went easier than I expected. The only person I really had to deal with that seemed unhappy—well, unhappy is putting it lightly–was my mother, which was no surprise. So, today Tanner is trying to get on her good side.
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” I grumble, straightening my pencil skirt and pulling a cherry red sleeveless blouse out of the closet along with a pair of leopard print heels with tiny red bows. I seriously need more closet space for my shoe obsession. I know I didn’t have any more room, but I just can’t help myself when I walk past a pair that is calling my name—they need a good home where they would be appreciated and loved. My shoe babies get the attention they deserve.
“Hey, if this will make your parents like me, I’ll do anything, even go to a stuffy-ass country club.”
“Ugh, I haven’t been there in years. I’m sure the gossip mill will be running rampant when I show up with my baby daddy.”
I walk past him, pointing at the white button up versus the black one he’s deciding on and he slaps my ass. “Hey, that’s Mr. Baby Daddy to you. It can’t be that bad. I’ll be right there with you, holding your hand and your mom can be shooting her daggers at me the whole time. I might even kiss you if you’re lucky. Then she might literally kill me.”
I giggle, picking up my curler to add a few loose curls to my hair. “I’m game, Mr. Baby Daddy.”
“I bet you are,” he mutters under his breath, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. “But seriously, I get why she hates me. I do. If I put myself in her shoes and Paisley was in the same situation, I would hate the guy too. Hell, I probably would’ve taken care of his ass with my shotgun by now.”
“Oh, really? I wasn’t aware you had a shotgun.”
“Yup, got it the day Paisley was born.”
“Ah, thinking ahead.” I tap him on the head as I pass by to slide into my heels. “I like it.”
I watch as he pulls on his shirt, licking my lips as my eyes travel down his smooth, tan stomach. He’s been spending the night more often and it seems like we’ve just clicked, falling into an easy routine. Paisley loves it; I didn’t think she could be a happier kid, but I was quickly proven wrong. The part I love the most is at night when the three of us are curled up on the couch, eating snacks, and watching movies together. Then when it’s time for bed, we both tuck her and I watch from the door as he reads her a bedtime story—a new one every night. We finish off the night curled up in bed, and fall asleep together. Nothing more, though. To say I’m sexually frustrated is an understatement.
“I need to stop by my house and grab my belt.”
“Okay. You know you should probably just pack a bag and bring it over here. Stay a few days, you know, if you want to.”
“Oh, really?” He grabs onto my hips and pulls me against him. “Or,” he presses a kiss to my forehead and then one to my cheek, “you could just move in to my place.” He steps back and his words sink in as he watches me closely. I don’t know what to say to that. I’m honestly speechless; moving in together is a super big step. Am I ready for that? I think after that th
ere would be no going back.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek until it’s raw and then take a deep breath. “Let me think about it, okay?”
“Yup, take all the time you need, but right now we need to get going. I don’t need your mom to hate me even more because we show up late.”
***
I know when we get to the club that this isn’t going to be fun. My mom is in full blown ice queen mode, so I guess I’m going to have to be the ice princess today and give her a taste of her own medicine. “Amelia,” she greets me, her nose in the air and her arms crossed tightly over her cream chiffon dress. She turns her head, completely ignoring Tanner.
“And Tanner, here,” I point out, and Tanner wraps an arm around my waist after shaking my dad’s hand, who is at least attempting to be friendly. He’s never really given much of an opinion on Tanner. He tends to let my mom run rampant with that.
“Well, yes, Tanner.” Her face sours. “How could I forget about you? Unlike my daughter though, I choose not to forget about you and your ways.”
“Yes ma’am,” Tanner answers quietly, looking down at his feet before looking her square in the eye. “I know I’ve made a mess, but I’m fixing things now. Can I at least have a chance?”
“A chance? Hmph. Be lucky that I’m even allowing you to be here.”
“C’mon now, no need to be rude to the boy,” my dad interrupts. “Ah, it looks as if they have our table ready. Shall we?”
“Oh we shall. This seems as if it’s going to be a grand time,” I mutter and my mom turns around to scold me.
“Quit slouching, Amelia. I know I taught you better than that.”
I straighten my shoulders and roll my eyes, glancing at Tanner who at least is smiling slightly. Good, he’s not quite ready to run straight out of here. We order drinks once we’re seated, and then my dad clears his throat after a glare from my mom.
“So, Tanner, we would like to know what your intentions are with our daughter.”
“What?” I choke on my water and Tanner pats me on the back until I’m able to clear my airway. “Listen, I’m not a child. You don’t need to know what his intentions are with me. As far as you’re concerned, all we could be doing is screwing and it would be none of your damn business.”
“Well, I would hope not,” my mom gasps loudly, her eyes wide. “We all know how that turned out the first time.”
“Oh and how was that exactly? Giving you a beautiful granddaughter that you adore and love more than anything or anyone in this world?” I counter with an arched brow.
My mom purses her lips and my dad sighs. “That’s not what your mother and I meant. We love Paisley and all we want is for our daughter to be happy.” He glances towards Tanner. “Are you prepared to do that? Amelia can be a little… much.”
Tanner chokes out a laugh. “Oh trust me, I’m well aware of that.” I elbow him in the side but he ignores me. “But I can handle Amelia and give her everything that she needs and deserves. I can promise you that.”
“Can you now?” my dad counters. “What do you plan on doing with your life? Can you really support a family?”
“Dad, Tanner has a great job and he’s supported Paisley thus far. I don’t think asking him that is very appropriate. Did you expect him to bring along his pay stubs? I mean for—”
“It’s all right, Amelia,” Tanner interrupts. “My job might be a little bit different than yours, sir, and I might get my hands dirty, but it’s the kind of work I love and the kind of work I’ve always imagined myself doing. I might not be in charge of the whole company, but I am Miller’s right hand man and I can assure you my paycheck proves that. Amelia wouldn’t have to work another day in her life and we’d get by just fine, but I’m pretty sure she’s more than happy with her bakery, seeing as that’s been one of her lifelong dreams and she obviously can support herself just fine. Don’t you think someone should be doing what makes them happy?” Tanner squeezes my leg and we’re interrupted by the waitress, who picks that moment to bring our drinks over and a basket of rolls.
“Well,” my dad unfolds his napkin before setting it on his lap, “I think we’ve questioned you enough and it seems as if you two have figured things out. I just hope it all works.”
“And if doesn’t work out,” my mom picks up her butter knife and waves it at Tanner, “I will find you and cut off your dick.”
Well I didn’t exactly see things going in that direction. Maybe my mom and I are more alike than I thought.
Chapter 19
“You sure you don’t mind?”
“Whatever makes you happy, Amelia. I’ll do anything.” Those words mean the world to me. It isn’t as if I’m going to hold the past over him forever. No, we’ve moved past that. But still, I can’t move into Tanner’s house; it would just be too weird. That was the house he and Marissa had shared. I don’t want our new life together to be tainted by their old memories. We need to have our own. So, Tanner is staying here about ninety percent of the time and has moved a majority of his clothes and other necessities into my apartment.
Monroe says I’m spoiled, but I like the way Tanner takes care of me, even though I know I could do it all on my own if I needed to—I had, and would again. I might be with Tanner, but I would never want to have to completely rely on him. I’m an independent girl.
“Tired, babe?” He drops down onto the couch next to me, setting a glass of wine and a bottle of beer down on the coffee table. We’d been making multiple trips back and forth to his house throughout the day, not to mention a few orders that I had gone into the bakery to fill, even though it was closed on Sundays.
“Very.” I throw my legs over his and he lays his head in my lap. “You aren’t scared to live with me now that you’ve officially seen all of my junk, are you?” I scratch my fingers against his scalp and he snickers against my leg.
“No, I’m a brave boy. Although I think I’m gonna have to build you your own closet someday. How can one girl have so many clothes and shoes?”
“Did you really just ask me that question?” I ask dryly, looking at him like a crazy person. “And by the way, your daughter is following in my heeled footsteps, so you might as well plan on building her a bigger closet too,” I tease, even though it’s the plain and simple truth. “And now, you can cook for us since I can’t cook shit.”
“Then how the hell did you learn to bake like a fucking magician?”
I shrug. “I guess I needed a release for all of my built up frustration. You know, my mom wasn’t easy growing up with. I was always trying to be perfect, but it never seemed like I was good enough.”
“See? I have a reason for not getting along with her,” he mutters before sitting up and patting my thigh.
“We get along better now, you know that. So, please, just be nice.”
“I’ll try for you.”
“Alright, well I think I’m ready to go to bed.” I stretch, faking a yawn. “Don’t you think we need to christen it since you’re kind of moved in now?”
Tanner laughs and shakes his head. “Amelia.”
“What?” I pout out my lip, sliding onto his lap. “You don’t think we need to?” I circle my hips and press myself down to tease him. He groans and I smile, knowing that I’m having some kind of affect on him, which is a good thing. I’ve started to think a couple of times that there’s something wrong with me. Monroe likes to think I’m oozing with confidence and I guess I must put on a good show, but I’m just like ninety percent of girls out there—in my eyes, my flaws are magnified.
Why the hell won’t he have sex with me? But on the other hand, I always feel his erection against me and he has to take plenty of cold showers, so I know that’s not the problem. He pushes on my hips to still them and I stick my bottom lip out even farther. “Tanner, please. I want you.” I drop my head down, placing my lips on his neck, brushing and sucking, nipping and licking. “Don’t you want me?” I murmur against his skin.
“Fuck yes, I do,” he hisses,
but moves to pull me off of his lap, putting space between us on the couch.
I cross my arms over my chest. “Then what’s the problem?”
“I want to do things right by you, Amelia.”
“You are, Tanner, but we’re adults. We have a child together. I want this. Isn’t that enough?”
“No, it’s not.”
I groan, throwing myself backwards. “Then can you please explain to me what would be enough to get inside of your pants? Way to hurt a girl’s ego.” He laughs, and I pop one eye open. “It’s not funny.”
“Yes, it is.” He slides over, dropping down to sit in front of me on the floor. “I just… I want to be married before we… before we do the deed.”
“What?” I shoot straight up, slapping a hand over my mouth to quiet my outburst so I don’t wake Paisley. “Seriously?”
“Serious as a heart attack,” he says with a straight face, and I sit back against the couch in shock.
“Tanner, we have a child. You do realize that, right?”
“Yeah, I didn’t forget about her. It would be pretty hard to.” He cocks a brow. “I just want things right this time.”
“We’re practically living together,” I challenge. “And we’re not married.”
He huffs out a breath. “Will you just be quiet for a minute? I’m trying to ask you something important here.”
My mouth gapes open as he pulls a box out of his pants pocket and then opens it. “Amelia,” he licks his lips and my entire body goes numb, “this has been a long time coming. It should’ve happened a whole lot sooner, but life got in the way. I won’t let that happen anymore. Will you be my wife? Can we be a family?” He moves to drop down on his knee in front of me and my heart stops when I look at the box again. No, not because of the contents—which by the way is sparkly, totally gorgeous, and simply perfect—but because never in a million years did I expect Tanner and I to make it to this point.
Southern Sweets (Midnight) Page 12
