He held his up and inspected it dubiously. “No. I’m happy to keep my streak going. How about if you have both of these and I get a regular hot dog?”
Lainie shook her head briskly and walked over to the condiments. “Take a chance, J.J. Slap some mustard on and try it. If you hate it, I’ll eat yours.” She squeezed a line of mustard onto the corn dog she held and traded him, then stood watching expectantly.
Grumbling, he took a bite and chewed. And tilted his head consideringly.
“So?” she asked.
“Not bad,” he admitted.
“It’s better than ‘not bad,’ and you know it.” Lainie pumped mustard onto her corn dog. “God, I look forward to this every year.”
“They always have them?”
She looked at him like he had two heads. “Of course. I make sure of it.”
“The perks of coordinating the festival?”
“Exactly.” She licked some mustard off her dog and caught J.J. watching her. Taking her time, she ran her tongue up the length of the dog and swirled it around the tip. She gave him a bawdy leer. “There are other benefits, as well. Did I mention that corn dogs have a well-known aphrodisiacal effect?”
“It’s working on me,” he said.
“Who knew there were so many kids in Salem?” J.J. marveled, looking across the festival grounds at all the costumes.
“You might as well start studying up on what’s out there for the costume parade. You’ve got your basic store-bought model.” She pointed at a passing PowerPuff girl. “Or the rentals.” She pointed out a boy dressed as SpongeBob, complete with oversize cartoony-looking shoes. “The ones that are really great, though, are the homemade ones.” A broad grin spread over her face as she scanned the crowd. “Like this.”
“Lainie! J.J.!” Kisha and Latrice ran up with Tyjah.
Tyjah wore a plastic ghoul mask and a diminutive cape. Latrice was dressed as Pocahontas. Kisha, though, was a sight to behold. She wore miniature long underwear, dyed blue-black, with a white bib tied over the top. Dangling around her neck was a ribbon with a circle of cardboard, spray-painted gold.
“Great costume,” J.J. said, grinning broadly.
“I’m you.” Kisha proclaimed.
J.J. handed the stuffed animal to Lainie and swept Kisha up. “You’re better than me.”
“Elsie, you outdid yourself,” Lainie said.
“Girl wouldn’t stop talking about it. Been driving me out of my skull for weeks.”
Tyjah pulled at Elsie’s hand. “Rocket,” he begged, looking beyond the midway to the resplendent bouncy rocket ship.
J.J. glanced at Lainie and let Kisha down. “Looks like it’s a hit after all.”
“I guess so,” Lainie said.
“I wanna go on a ride,” Kisha pleaded.
Elsie looked at the midway and shook her head. “Crazy children. Well, take your brother to that rocket thing first. Then you can each go on two rides apiece.” She rummaged in her purse for her wallet.
J.J. pulled the long strip of tickets from his pocket. “Or you could take these.”
Kisha and Latrice went round-eyed at the prospect, and Tyjah reached out. “Hold on, you three,” Elsie ordered. “Those are their tickets.”
“We’ve gone on all the rides we’re going to,” J.J. said. “They’re just going to go to waste.” He tightened his arm around Lainie. “I’d rather walk around with my girl.”
A corner of Elsie’s mouth twitched. “I can see that. Well, thank you.”
“Thank you, J.J.,” the children chorused.
“Now listen, you three, I don’t want you going on any rides alone,” Elsie ordered.
Kisha bounced up and down. “I wanna go on the Zipper.”
Latrice stared at the colorful fluorescent tubes outlining the narrow cars that spent nearly as much time upside down as right way up and shook her head. “Uh-uh.”
“Please?” Kisha wheedled.
“No way.”
“But I wanna go,” she said again.
On impulse, Lainie stepped forward. “I’ll go with you.”
J.J. raised his eyebrows. “You know what you’re in for?”
“Come with us,” she invited with a smile. “Now’s your chance to live life on the edge, Speed.”
The children ran off ahead, and Elsie gave them a resigned look. “Those children will be the death of me yet,” she said resignedly, but her eyes were fond and her voice soft as she followed them.
The ride was just the kind that Lainie loved. Clanking and noisy, pulse pounding, it scared her silly and left her grinning.
Then again, Elsie and her family always left her grinning.
“You’ve got a fan club,” J.J. told her as they walked away from an adoring Kisha.
“I think you’re the one with the fan club, judging by Kisha’s costume.”
J.J. looked embarrassed, she was delighted to see. “She’s just at that age.”
Lainie snorted. “Are you kidding? Around you, every female’s at that age.”
J.J. caught her fingers in his, and they walked hand in hand down the bazaar. A group of teenagers pushed by, laughing hysterically. In the bandstand, a live group played a cover of “Monster Mash.” Moonlight streamed down around them. From the picnic tables, George and his family waved.
And suddenly it hit her. This would be the last time she’d be at the Halloween Festival in her town. Manhattan probably had street fairs, but not like this. This was the last one she’d be able to look at and have the satisfaction of knowing she’d brought it to life. It would be the last one where she’d know half the people there.
It would be the last one where she belonged.
Lainie stopped. “What’s wrong?” J.J. asked, but she shook her head blindly, unable to talk. In a year she’d be in New York, at a party or a restaurant, or perhaps just sitting home in her living room—with her two or three dozen roommates, judging by Manhattan rental prices.
A wave of sadness hit her and for a moment she just leaned against J.J., pressing her face to his shoulder. “I don’t know how I’m going to leave this,” she said in a low voice, not trusting herself to say more.
J.J. pressed his lips to her hair. “You never really leave any place. The places you’ve been, the places you’ve cared about stick with you.” It was something he knew better than most.
“It won’t be the same.”
“Nothing ever is.” Suddenly J.J. loosened his arms. “Come here a sec.” He took her hand and led her over to a nearby jewelry booth.
“What?”
“This.” He reached out and picked up a necklace of moonstone and silver. The stone glowed white and mysterious, as though lit from within. Fluid and somehow warm, the silver chased around it. He pointed to the full moon, shining above them. “To remember tonight, always.”
Something twisted inside her.
She didn’t want to leave, she realized with sudden clarity. What she wanted was there, in Salem. With the museum. With J.J.
And in a blinding flash of emotion, she knew.
She was in love with him.
When it had happened, she couldn’t say. Somehow, even as she’d been doing her damnedest to keep him at a distance, he’d managed to work his way into her heart. In the end, all her strategies, all her plans meant nothing. She’d fallen for him completely.
She watched him pay for the necklace, trying to understand what had happened, fighting the impulse to start knocking her head against the trunk of a nearby tree. She couldn’t help thinking it had all the earmarks of disaster.
What’s wrong with just seeing what happens? She raised her hand to the moonstone.
What had happened was that she’d fallen in love.
Two months ago she’d have seriously considered getting a lobotomy before letting herself fall for J. J. Cooper. Two months before, she’d have been certain how things would inevitably play out. Now, though, she was no longer sure. The J.J. she’d come to know was a different person than she
’d always thought. He was caring, romantic and unfailingly generous.
This J.J. was someone special. This J.J. was worth taking a chance for.
But this kind of chance? Being in love with him? Telling him she was in love with him? Her stomach roiled at the thought. She had to be out of her mind to even think of it. She knew better than to do it, she so knew better.
She’d never had any patience with foolish women. But she’d never had any patience with people who were afraid to live, either. Whether it was riding the Zipper or being the first out on an empty dance floor, she’d always believed in taking chances. She’d always believed in trying. Why, now, was she so afraid?
Because it was her heart at stake.
“You’re awfully quiet,” J.J. said as he walked up, sliding his wallet in his pocket.
“Just admiring my necklace.”
He studied her until she flushed. “What?”
“Just admiring your necklace, too,” he said. “So what do you think, have we done the festival?”
Lainie kissed him. “I think we should go home.”
There was moonlight there, too, streaming in through the windows as they undressed. There was the soft whisper of the wind outside. And there was that breathless moment of pure pleasure when J.J. pressed her down into the soft mattress, his body stretched along hers.
They came together in heat, in passion. In tenderness. Naked except for the moonstone, she leaned over him and stared into the face that had imperceptibly become an essential part of her life. The knowledge beat in her heart and pulsed through her veins. And hovered at the back of her throat.
Strokes and caresses, the whisper of skin on skin. Whatever might happen in the future, there was the now, when their mouths were so close they inhaled each other’s breath. Wherever this thing went, there was this moment, when the barriers were all but gone. It wasn’t about need, somehow, but some final connection, like the last piece being added to a puzzle. When he slid inside her, it felt so exquisite that she wanted to weep.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“For what?” he asked, his eyes silvered by the light.
“For the necklace.” She kissed him. “For giving me surprises.” She kissed him again. “For making me feel like this.”
“You’re beautiful,” he said softly. With deep, powerful strokes, he quickened inside her, drawing her deep and hard against him, bringing her up slowly and taking her over with him.
And somehow the words she’d resolved not to say just spilled out.
“I love you, J.J.”
The sound seemed to echo in the quiet of the room. At first, he thought he must have imagined the whisper as his body clenched against hers in the final throes of passion. In the next heartbeat, though, he realized he hadn’t.
And in the one after that, he wondered what the hell to do.
It wasn’t the first time he’d heard the words from a lover. None had ever heard him say them in return, though. He didn’t believe in “I love you” as a rote call and response. The way he figured it, those words were too important to say unless you felt them through and through, unless you were absolutely sure you meant them.
And J. J. Cooper had never been in love. Like, sure. Lust, definitely.
But never love. At least, he didn’t think so.
The thoughts flicked through his mind in seconds. Then he saw Lainie staring down at him, horrified.
“Wow. That’s…amazing,” he said uncomfortably.
The horror gave way to embarrassment and annoyance. And hurt, he realized. She slid off him and moved to rise, but he caught her.
“Let me go.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” he said. “Let me finish.”
“You don’t have to, J.J. Forget you heard it. It was a dumb thing to say. I just…got caught up.”
“No.” He felt the little flick of anger. “Don’t pull back on me.”
“I don’t think I’m the one pulling back.” Her voice was cool.
“Dammit, Lainie, you can’t just drop something like that on me out of the blue and then get ticked because I don’t have an immediate response.”
“Pardon me for not giving you more time to prepare,” she said tartly, sitting up. “It wasn’t like I planned to say it.”
J.J. reached out to turn on the light. “Look at me.” He sat on the edge of the bed beside her, his gaze unwavering. “That’s a wonderful thing for you to say. And…yeah, I wasn’t ready for it.”
“Let it go, J.J.,” she said impatiently, and moved to rise again.
He pulled her back. “Just hold on, okay? You owe me that.”
Unwillingly she turned. The flush that still stained her cheekbones added guilt to the uncertainty and tension that had settled in his gut. She was hurting. He had to get this right.
And he had to figure it out in a hurry.
He swallowed and took both of her hands in his. “Lainie, I care about you, more than I’ve ever cared for any woman, ever. But I’ve never said ‘I love you’ to anyone.” He studied their tangled fingers. “I do not want to screw this up. I want to get it right. And part of that is not just saying the words because I think you want to hear them.” He raised his chin and met her gaze, his eyes unwavering. “I’ve got to be sure about it. Just give me some time. All right?”
He held his breath and after a long moment, she reached out and turned off the light. “All right,” she said in the dimness and lay down silently.
J.J. lay down beside her and gathered her to him, inhaling her scent, feeling her breath sigh out.
But he didn’t think either of them was going to get much sleep that night.
Chapter Seventeen
The shrilling phone dragged J.J. into consciousness. Only moments before, it seemed, he’d drifted off. He had a second to register that Lainie was already up before he dug out his cell phone and flipped it open to silence it.
“Yeah?” he said bad temperedly.
“Hey, man, you awake?”
It was Kurt Madsen, calling from Innsbruck. And there wasn’t even the remotest ghost of humor in his voice.
“What’s going on?”
“Doug’s looking for your hide, that’s what’s going on. He got back last night from his trip to headquarters and he was seriously pissed that you weren’t here.”
“He’ll get over it,” J.J. mumbled, lying back down on the bed.
“No, he won’t get over it, J.J. Get working on a story for him, because you’re going to need a good one.”
“Can I use your cousin and the kidney?”
Madsen blew out a breath of frustration. “It’s not a joke this time. He can suspend you, you know. And I know you don’t need the money but you’re going to need the races or your sponsors will drop you flat.”
“Look, Doug went to Aspen, I went to Massachusetts. I’m just taking a couple of days. I’ll be back.”
“If you’re lucky,” Madsen said quietly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just be careful, J.J. I know you won at Sölden, but that didn’t buy you any more rope—it’s starting to look like you’re all out of it. Watch out.”
“All right.” Even he could hear the irritation in his voice.
“I don’t know why I bother,” Madsen said with a sigh.
J.J. closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. Look, thanks for the heads up, Kurt. I mean it.”
He ended the call and put the handset down thoughtfully. So Doug was on the warpath. It wasn’t that unusual a situation—so why was Kurt concerned enough to call?
The phone rang again, this time with the digits that he knew meant the head coach of the ski team was on the line. J.J. swore under his breath and pressed the receive button. “Hello?”
“Two-tenths of a second, Cooper.”
“What?”
“Two-tenths of a second. Less time than it takes your heart to beat. That’s how much Rob Munro missed winning by, last week.”
J.J. frowned. �
��Rob Munro…isn’t he that kid who came up last year?”
“Listen to the smart guy. Yeah, he came up last year on the C-team. This year he’s on the A-team, and his practice times are as good as yours. Better, in some cases.”
“Doug, listen—”
“No, you listen,” Doug snapped. “I told you to stay in Sölden for two weeks after the race to do speed runs. You remember that conversation, Cooper?”
“Yeah.”
“You want to tell me why I came back here and found you gone?”
“You never asked me whether I could stay. And I never said I’d do it.”
“Oh, I forgot. Classic J.J.—just keep your mouth shut and go off and do whatever the hell you want.”
“Doing whatever the hell I want won me the opener,” J.J. reminded him, an edge in his voice.
“I don’t give a damn what you won. Because Munro’s going to win, too. And so is Peter Hardesty. While you’ve been partying, they’ve been coming up and working hard, and they’re standing by to replace you, Cooper.”
J.J. swung up and sat on the edge of the bed. His behavior wasn’t that unusual. So why was Doug so bent out of shape? “Look, I’m not trying to be a pain, Doug. I just had something I needed to do stateside for a couple of days. I’ll be back Wednesday and do all the speed runs you want.”
“The hell you will. You’ll be back tomorrow morning.”
“I can’t. I’ve got something I’ve got to be here for.”
“Yeah, and you’ve got something you’ve got to be here for. It’s called a job.”
“I’m going to—”
“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do,” Hoover interrupted. “You want to stay on this team, you’re going to get your butt down to the airport and get on the first flight to Innsbruck you can find. And when you get here, you’re going to drive to Sölden and get your butt on that slope. Capisce?”
Mentally J.J. gauged his chances. There was a time he’d have just said to hell with it and done what he wanted. That time wasn’t now, though.
He sighed. “Capisce,” he said.
“Morning.” Lainie smiled as J.J. walked into the kitchen and tried to relax. He’d dressed, she realized. Then again, she had, too, when she’d gotten up. Somehow she’d needed that little extra bit of confidence. “Want some coffee? I’ve got scones, too.”
Under His Spell (Holiday Hearts #4) Page 18
