by Lia Lee
For a moment, it looked as if he wanted to argue with her. During their long separation, she had wondered if he thought about her. Now she knew that he had.
"I can agree to that," he said with a nod.
She was just getting ready to nod, even if there was a little disappointment there, when his hand tightened around her back, pulling her forward into a close embrace.
"She's not looking right now," Philip whispered softly.
Her soft cry was silenced as his mouth came down over hers, and instead of protesting, she found her hands coming up to grab him and bring him closer. Even if her mind wasn't sure what to think about him and his intentions, her body remembered him with a clarity that was almost shocking. She remembered how strong he was, and how powerfully he was built. She remembered the way his lips felt sliding over hers, and she remembered how good it felt to take his tongue into her mouth, suckling on it lightly.
They were in public, so it never went anywhere terribly intimate, but with that single kiss, he reminded her of why she had fallen for him the way that she had. He reminded her how good it had been between them and how they had lit each other on fire once upon a time.
Finally, she pushed him away, aware that her lips were red and her cheeks were flushed.
"Point made," she said, glancing around. No one seemed interested in them in the least, so she figured it was less graphic than it had felt for her.
"Are you truly all right with this?" Philip asked. "With me here with Victoria, with you?"
Marnie nodded immediately. "Believe me when I say that I don't really do maybes with Victoria. If something is making me think twice or worry about how it is going to affect her … I don't let it happen. I know you. I cared about you very much."
He tilted his head to one side. "Cared, past tense?"
She made herself nod. "I don't know you now, not really," she said, even though her body and her heart claimed that they knew him very well indeed. "I remember who you were. I look at you now, and I see a man who wants nothing but good for my daughter. That's what matters. For me now? Well, it's going to take some time."
Philip nodded, and it was just then that Victoria came up. She was a little dirty and a little grubby and entirely endearing as she held up her closed hands for Philip and Marnie to see.
"Look," she demanded. "Look at this!"
"The last time she did that, she was holding a stink bug," Marnie commented, but when they leaned down to see, Victoria opened her hands to reveal a golden beetle the size of a ladybug inside.
"Handsome bug," Philip commented, and Victoria flashed a small shy smile at him. She was more used to people shouting or telling her to throw away her insects, and Marnie could already feel her daughter warming to Philip.
"Can I keep him?" Victoria asked hopefully, and Marnie shook her head.
"No, he's going to be happier here where he can go where he likes," she said. "But how about if we find the best flower to leave him on before we go off to grab some food ourselves?"
Victoria brightened at that, and together, the three of them found a lovely pot of pansies where Victoria could leave her new friend.
They mutually decided that such a good day called for delicious burgers, and since there was an excellent burger place just a few blocks away, that it should be lunch time.
If Victoria wondered why Philip came to lunch with them and insisted on paying for all the food, she didn't say. She wasn't quite over her shyness with the man yet, but more than once, Marnie caught her looking at Philip with frank curiosity.
She wondered if her daughter sensed that there was something different about Philip. Marnie hadn't dated since she was born, but she had a few male friends and colleagues. With them, Victoria was polite but more reserved. Here, within a short time of meeting Philip, she was already less guarded, more lively and animated.
It doesn't mean anything, Marnie told herself. She's probably just picking up on how relaxed I am with him.
It was a good thought, but as they ate their burgers, Marnie couldn't help but notice that it was more than that. Victoria preferred sitting closer to her mother, but she reached out to share her fries with Philip, something that she only reserved for Marnie and Cassie. Seeing them together, it could not be denied that their dark eyes were nearly the same shade. Marnie wondered what other similarities they would uncover as they spent more time together.
After lunch, they came out onto the pavement to see one of the city's horse-drawn carriages discharge its passengers across the street. It only took a brief wistful look and sigh from Victoria before Philip was striding across the street, waving down the carriage.
Before Marnie quite knew what was happening, they were taking the carriage tour of the area, Philip on one side, Marnie on the other, and Victoria sandwiched between them and looking out over it all.
"I have to admit, this is nice," Marnie said. "I was born and raised here, and I never thought that anything so touristy could be a great idea …"
Philip winked at her. "Well, they do say to make the familiar strange and the strange familiar. All I know is that Victoria looked like she was curious. Back home, sometimes for the historical festivals, the noble ladies are carried on actual litters, on the shoulders of strong men."
"Litters?" asked Victoria in confusion. "Like garbage?"
Marnie then had to explain human-borne litters, and how some people were considered so important that they would be lifted up as high as possible by the people below.
"Does that sound like something that you might want to try?" teased Marnie. "Sure that the horse carriage isn't enough?"
Victoria gave the idea the serious thought it was due before shaking her head firmly. "I think I prefer the horse and carriage," she said firmly. "I like the horse a lot."
"Well, there you have it," said Marnie with a smile. "My daughter strikes a blow for equal rights for all people …"
Philip snorted. "She hasn't figured out how comfortable a litter is," he said loftily.
"Have you ever ridden in one?"
"No, just my mother, and for some reason, she won't give in and let it be the only way she travels …"
When the coachman came to let them down, he smiled broadly at them.
"Beautiful little family you have, sir," he said, and Marnie thought that Philip would deny it.
Instead, he shrugged with a slight smile. "They're both beautiful," he said.
He said it so softly that Marnie only barely managed to catch it. She could feel her face turn pink at his flattery. When they were together, he had called her pretty, he had certainly called her hot, but beautiful was one that she couldn't remember. She knew that she had changed, but apparently so had he.
"Mama, why is your face all red?" asked Victoria, her voice concerned, and Marnie turned so that Philip couldn't see how hot she was blushing.
"Just feeling a little warm, sweetie, I'm fine. Oh look, there's a candy making machine in that window, shall we go look?"
The day passed in a blur, but Marnie would always remember a few specific sensations, a few wonderful moments. There was the moment when Victoria solemnly explained photosynthesis to Philip, though he had to help her pronounce the word. There was the moment when Philip had snapped a picture of her and Victoria, hand in hand and petting a large dog. There was the look of surprise and peace in Philip's face when they heard a distant steel drum playing and Victoria started to dance to the bright rhythm.
Finally, though, the day had to end. Victoria was tired and starting to get grumpy, so when they got home, Marnie sent her to get her things together for her bath.
"We both bathe, and then we hang out for the rest of the evening in our pajamas," Marnie explained. "We do it as often as we can, it makes getting to bed a lot easier."
They could both hear the water running and then there was Victoria yelling about how she was getting in to get clean now.
Marnie hadn't realized how much Victoria had taken up space that day. Now that she was gone,
it felt as if there was too much air in the room. Now there was just her and Philip.
"It was an amazing day," Philip said softly, his hands in his pockets. For some reason, that comforted her. If his hands were in his pockets, they couldn't reach for her, couldn't draw her close. She wasn't sure what she would do if he did.
"It was a really good day," Marnie said. "I hope you don't get the wrong idea. Not every day is as good at that. There are plenty of times when she's crabby or I am. There are days where she loses her temper and has to be in a time-out or when one or the both of us are sick …"
Philip laughed a little. "I may be a prince, but I do know a little bit about real life," he said with a grin. "I know that not every day was good, but today … well, something about today was perfect."
When she thought about it, he was right. It wasn't a day without mishap, but it was three people being together, sharing, and taking care of each other. When it came right down to it, it was perfect, in its own way.
She realized he was coming closer, and after a moment, he took his hands out of his pockets. Marnie knew that she should step back, tell him to back off. But no matter how bad an idea she knew this was, her body couldn't seem to agree, nor could her heart. With every step that he took towards her, her body only wanted him closer. When he wrapped his arms around her, she found her arms resting around his narrow waist.
"Do you know you have only grown more lovely since I left?" he asked, looking down at her.
"You called me beautiful earlier," she murmured, unsure of what she was saying. "You … never did that before."
"Then I was an idiot when were together," he said firmly. "When I look at you, I see a woman who will be beautiful all her life. You were beautiful when you took your first breath and your first steps. You will be beautiful when you are old and need a cane to walk about. You are beautiful right now."
"Why are you saying this?" Marnie asked. All she wanted was to breathe in the good, clean scent of him, to be as close to him as she could.
"Because I never said it before, and because a woman like you deserves to be told she is beautiful. And shown."
She opened her mouth to ask him what he meant, and his mouth came down over hers. The kiss that they had shared before was delicious, but it was a furtive thing, quick and fast. This one, oh, this one was the one she felt as if she had been waiting for years. It took its time, taking care to wake up each and every one of her nerves. When his tongue pressed between her lips, she gave herself up to it, letting him explore her mouth in the way that he knew best. It was and wasn't like what they had had together before. Her body knew his, but it didn't. The only thing that she was sure hadn't changed was that she wanted him like a woman dying of thirst wanted water.
Somehow, they ended up half-lying on her small couch, his large body pressing her to the cushions. When he rose over her, he blocked out the dim light of her lamp. Marnie could feel how strong he was, and she pressed herself up against him until she could feel his arousal as well.
"I remember you," she found herself whispering.
"I remember you," he responded.
When he leaned down to kiss her this time, he started at the tender cup of her ear, nibbling around the edge until she whimpered. When he took her ear lobe between his teeth, she stopped herself from crying out, but just barely. The slight sliver of pain only made the sweetness of his tongue and his lips more intense. His hands roamed her body, sliding over her curves with the ease of familiarity. Her thin dress felt like it was barely there, and then his hand was sliding up along her bare thigh …
"Okay, I'm getting out now!" Victoria shouted from the bathroom, and for a moment both Marnie and Philip froze. The thought of being caught in the act was simultaneously hilarious and frustrating, and fortunately, both of them decided to laugh it off.
"That's good, honey. Go get your pajamas on."
"Okay!"
Marnie pressed against Philip's shoulder, and after a moment, he sat up with a sigh.
"So this is what being a parent is like," he joked, and she shook her head with a giggle.
"Really, this is the easy version. But it's probably just as well she stopped us. I mean … I don't know about you, but I'm really not sure where we're going with this …"
"Oh, I have a good idea," Philip quipped, but he nodded. "You're not wrong. There's a lot going on, and if we're going to make the best choices for ourselves and for Victoria, well, we shouldn't rush into things."
"That sounds about right …"
"What does?" asked Victoria, who had come out in her rabbit pajamas.
"Nothing to worry about, sweetie," Marnie said affectionately. "But you're just in time to say good night to Philip, who's leaving."
Was that a flash of disappointment across her daughter's face? It seemed far too soon for Victoria to get attached.
"Goodbye," she said, hiding her face in her mother's thigh.
Philip looked as if he longed to say more, but he only nodded. "It was wonderful getting to spend the day with you both," he said softly. "Thank you for having me."
Marnie reached down to touch her daughter's dark hair. It was still soaked, and in a bit, she would go towel it off for her a little better.
"Don't worry, Victoria, Philip will be back. He's visiting for a little while, so we'll see him soon."
Victoria looked up, dark eyes suspicious. "Really?" she asked.
"Really," Philip answered.
For just a moment, it looked like Victoria might rush over to give him a hug. Then she remembered herself and clung a little harder to her mother.
"Yeah, that's our cue that it's time to wrap things up," Marnie said with a sigh. "Someone's getting a little too tired to stay up."
Philip sighed, a soft regretful sound, but he nodded. "I definitely will be back," he said. "But for now, good night, and I hope you have sweet dreams, Victoria."
He waited for a moment, but Victoria only clung to Marnie's leg.
" 'Good night, Marnie."
"Night, Philip."
For one mad moment, she thought that she was going to reach out and kiss him. It would have been ridiculous. It would have been too many things to explain at once and far too much to fit into that day. Instead she thought of it, imagined the soft brush of his lips and the gentleness of his hand as it brushed over her cheek.
Then he nodded, and the door clicked shut behind him. After a moment, she locked the door and threw the bolt, turning down to her small daughter.
"Did you have a good day, baby?" she asked softly.
"Yeah," said Victoria, pulling back a little. "Tired now, though."
"Okay, well, why don't we heat up some soup and have some quiet time, all right? Does that sound good? "
Victoria nodded, and Marnie breathed a silent sigh of relief. Quiet time was time spent together with no need for words or interruptions, and it was one of her favorite times to be with her daughter. However, today, more than just being a silent and strong connection between them, there was a sense of recovery and thoughtfulness as she heated up their soup.
Her mind was buzzing with everything that had happened, and at the bottom of it all was Philip. She had never expected him to come back in her life, and she had certainly never expected him to come back like this. However, now he had, and her heart beat faster just thinking about it.
She wasn't a headstrong girl anymore, however. She couldn't be that reckless graduate throwing herself after the man she wanted like breathing. She was an adult now, with all of an adult's responsibilities. She had a daughter to look after.
Still, when she was settled down with Victoria sprawled across the other end of the couch, she wondered what it would be like to have a third person there, a man with black hair and black eyes who looked at her and her daughter as if they were the most precious beings on earth …
***
The cab driver was mercifully silent as he drove Philip back to his hotel room. Philip was so distracted that he wasn't sure he coul
d have answered the man at all.
That was my daughter.
The thought echoed in his mind over and over again, like a bell that would not stop tolling. The reality of it was inescapable in a way that it hadn't been before. It was one thing to see the little girl at the bookstore, another thing to see her and to know for sure.
No … not the little girl. Victoria. A tiny person in her own right, one who was half him. It was something that his brain still struggled with. He couldn't believe that she was a part of him, and in that moment, no matter what else happened, he knew that she always would be. No matter what happened between himself and Marnie, a part of his heart would always belong to Victoria.
It was exalting. It was terrifying.
And Marnie …
He wasn't lying when he said he had thought of her often. As time had gone by and Philip had taken over more of the tasks that his family set before him, his thoughts often drifted back to his time in New York, and Marnie was a part of that. Sometimes, he had wondered if he had conflated her with a time of freedom in his life, when he had had fewer responsibilities and could do as he liked.
Upon seeing her again, however, he had learned that that was definitely not the case. She had grown from being a promising girl to a powerful woman. When he had heard that she was a novelist, he had been unsurprised to realize how good she was. When she looked at him with that small smile on her face, her eyes slightly narrowed as if she were prepared to see right through him, he had felt his heart beat faster.
She was magnificent, and regardless of what might happen, he wanted her as well.
However, as the recent weeks had taught him, what he wanted and what he could have were two different things. With a flinch of wariness, he turned on his phone to see several messages from his family there.
They came from both his mother and his father, and they read about like what he expected. They were disappointed with him and the choices he had made. They were furious that he left when things were going so well with the princess. They were covering for him now, but they would not do so forever.
