"Could be," Ponar shrugged, evidently not buying the faown was to blame. "I'd still feel better about it if you'd share with me what happened back there at the lake."
"Fine, fine. If it'll make you happy." Rai ran fingers through her hair, catching them in the knotted curls.
Just then Guardian Graeber rode up to them, his horse covered with a thin sheet of sweat. "We'll be stopping at the crest of the next hill. Rest the horses for one hour, then we will resume our pace." Without waiting for a reply, he shook the reins, a single, slight motion, and his mount spun off towards Laan's wagon behind them.
"He's chatty today," Rai said. "How about I tell you everything after lunch, so I'm not worried he's listening in?"
"Of course." Ponar refocused on the road ahead, affording Rai a brief respite.
Her commitment to discuss the details of yesterday appeared to satisfy his curiosity, at least for the moment. They traveled up the next hill to the designated stopping point in silence.
Ponar pulled his wagon alongside Meik's as there was plenty of room. Meik was already prepping feed bags for his horses. Rai marveled at the view from this rise, which stretched for miles over the dense forest. She watched Laan pull his wagon up close behind Meik and Ponar's wagons.
"I spied a stream down the hill a bit," Ponar said as he climbed down from his perch to the ground. "You interested in helping me fill these water bottles?"
"Sure, it'd be nice to move around a bit." Rai climbed down the wagon and joined Ponar.
"Hey Meik," Ponar asked, "Could you and Laan get my horses fed and watered while Rai and I go and fill the last of the water jugs?"
"We'll do that. I'm quite happy to let someone else help you lug those around," Meik replied.
As Ponar dug out the last four water jugs that still needed filling, Rai watched Guardian Graeber, who hadn't yet dismounted, sit and fiddle with one of his devices. As they set out towards the stream, he met her gaze.
"Don't go far, you two."
"Is something wrong?" Ponar asked.
"I don't think so. My scanner was working fine just a few minutes ago, but now it's behaving inconsistently."
"Huh?" Ponar prompted.
"The topology of the area reports per usual, but no life signs, not even ours, are registering ..." Guardian Graeber shrugged it off and placed the scanner back into one of his vest pockets. "I'm going to patrol the perimeter and make sure there's nothing out of the ordinary out there. Be prepared to leave within the hour." He leaned forward into the stirrups and his horse surged forward as if responding to his urgency.
"That's what happens when you rely too much on technology," Meik called after the Guardian, who paid no heed as he disappeared into the tree line. "At least now he's doing his job proper."
Rai moved closer to Ponar. "Let's get moving," Rai whispered, not wanting to listen to another of Meik's rants.
Ponar dipped his head in agreement. "We'll be back," he called out to Laan and Meik. Rai followed him down the hill towards the stream.
The sunny day held not a cloud in the sky, the crystalline horizon a rare, but breathtaking sight in the distance. "It's sure beautiful out here in the northern forests, so different from the foggy coastlines. You can see all the way to the horizon," Rai said.
"I'd have to agree with you on that one. For instance, from this vantage, I can see even more clearly how good you are at dodging questions and avoiding talking about what's on your mind," Ponar replied.
Anxiety gripped her abdomen, churning her stomach contents. "What, I can't admire the scenery?"
"Sure you can," he replied. "But now we're alone, so I figured you could get back to telling me all about what happened at the lake yesterday."
"All right, I will. Let's see, I'll start from where you left when the Guardian led you back to the camp yesterday. Naturally, I bathed first."
They reached the stream. "It's too shallow here to fill the jugs. Let's walk down the bank a little way and see if we can find a better spot," Ponar said.
"Are you sure that's wise?" Rai asked, looking back up the hill towards the Durmah wagons. "We've already gone so far I can't see the wagons."
"The Guardian said the area was safe, and we can't fill them here. It's just too shallow. I'm sure we won't have to go much farther."
"Okay," Rai replied.
Ponar led the way downstream. "Every so often as the stream hits obstacles in the terrain it tends to form small but deep pools. See, right up there, you can see how the stream widens slightly before cascading over those rocks?" he pointed.
"Yes, I can."
"Well, it's also deepest at those locations," he explained.
"I didn't realize you were so well-versed in forestry," Rai said.
"When you're on the road all the time, you have to be. Actually, if you pay attention you can pick up on a lot of useful information from the Guardians," Ponar replied. They arrived at the spot he'd pointed to a minute ago. "Here we go, see how much deeper it is here?"
He didn't know how right he was regarding the Guardians, Rai thought to herself. "Yes, it seems obvious now that you've pointed it out, I just never thought of it that way."
Ponar crouched at the side of the stream and submerged the first of his jugs. "What happened after you cleaned up at the lake?"
Rai followed his lead with her containers. The ice-cold water made holding the jug opening underwater difficult. "Well, I searched the area of the mound, and didn't find anything out of the ordinary," she lied. "The Guardian returned while I was digging around in the dirt. When he asked, I told him I'd seen something shiny under there. I don't think he believed me. All the way back to camp he lectured me on the dangers of sticking my nose into places it didn't belong." That was what, the third lie she'd told today so far?
Ponar hefted the full container from the stream and closed the lid tightly before sliding the next one under the water to fill. "That's all that happened?"
"Yeah," Rai replied. "I guess I was just so disappointed over not finding anything that I haven't felt like talking about it."
Ponar's brow furrowed. "So how come I don't believe you?"
Rai finished filling her first container and started on the second one, her numb fingers aching. "What else can I say?"
Ponar finished filling his second jug and tightened the lid shut. He carried both jugs away from the stream, setting them down on the loamy earth. Ponar wiped his hands dry on his tunic, watching Rai as she finished filling her containers and then carried them over, setting them down next to his.
"I don't believe you," he murmured. "You're not telling me everything."
"How can I convince you?" Rai asked. She too wiped her hands dry on her trousers and then rubbed them together for warmth.
"It's not what you're saying, it's how you're acting. Something just isn't ringing true to me, but I can't quite put my finger on it," Ponar replied. "Here, give me your hands." He held out his hands to take hers.
"No," Rai said, remembering what Guardian Graeber had said about not touching others. She took a step backward.
"Let me warm them up," he insisted, a confused look on his face. "I don't bite."
Rai sensed her reaction had offended him and heightened his suspicions of her story. She didn't want to risk alienating her friend and ally. She didn't have enough of those to spare right now.
And then Rai had a thought. Graeber had said that physical touch intensified what she could sense from others, but he hadn't stated that it was only one-way. What if she could push an emotion or thought to Ponar through that same contact, to reassure him that indeed nothing happened at the lake?
She held out her hands to him. "Sorry, I guess I just remembered Jesse asking us to keep our distance, and I don't want to disappoint her."
"I doubt Jesse would disapprove of me warming up your hands. Besides, it's not like there's anyone around watching us right now," he replied.
Ponar stepped forward and took her hands in his, rubbing them gently. Rai fel
t the warmth of his hands as the shades of his emotions washed over her. His concern for her was palpable, intertwined with his disbelief. Sifting through the layers, Rai recognized that he was still attracted to her but worked to hide it every time they were together. She felt guilty and began to withdraw, knowing her intrusion into his thoughts for the violation it was.
"There!" he exclaimed. "You keep looking almost, what? Guilty? Yes, that's it! Every time you say nothing happened at the lake you get this guilty look on your face."
Rai took a deep breath. "It's just that I'm so disappointed. And I do feel guilty for making you think that we'd find something out there that could answer why I keep having these nightmares." Rai focused on an image of her sitting by the lake, disappointed and pouting because she hadn't found anything. And then she gently pushed the image towards him.
Rai watched his eyes glaze over for a moment. When his eyes refocused, Rai realized she'd made a huge mistake. "What in the world was that?" he demanded, now gripping her hands tightly.
Rai mentally kicked herself for her botched attempt. Graeber was right. She had no idea what she was doing with her abilities, and she had been a fool to expose herself in this way to Ponar. "I don't know," Rai lied again. She could just imagine how angry Graeber would be when he inevitably found out about this. "Shouldn't we be getting back now?" She tried to pull her hands away, but Ponar wouldn't let go.
"Who is Graeber, and what does he want you to keep secret?" Ponar demanded.
Panicking, Rai yanked her hands away, desperately hoping it would break the mental connection she'd opened. Guardian Graeber was not going to be amused.
"What just happened?" Ponar asked, rubbing his forehead with his hands, his expression pained.
"You started spouting some crazy talk," Rai replied. "Why don't you explain to me what happened?"
"No, no, I'm NOT crazy," Ponar asserted. "I can't explain how that just happened, but I know it was something real. Someone called Graeber warned you to keep quiet, am I right? Wait a moment! The Guardian's name is Graeber, isn't it?" Waves of anger radiated from him.
Crap, crap, crap! Rai had no idea how to dig herself out from this one. In trying to reassure Ponar, she'd instead managed to open up a two-way conduit between their thoughts. At least it seemed breaking physical contact had broken their connection.
"You can't even answer me, can you?" he asked. Rai stared up at him, at a total loss for words.
"You must be so scared of him," Ponar continued. Waves of sympathy overrode his anger. "And I don't blame you for that. But you don't have to be afraid of him or allow him to threaten you into silence. You have to know that your family will protect you, even from him."
Rai shook her head, eyes watering. "That's just it: you can't. No one can." Rai felt a hot tear break free and run down her cheek. She turned and picked up her water containers by the handles, one in each hand. "You see, it's not Guardian Graeber who's the problem. It's me. It's who I am, and who I've been. And as much as I try and work it out in my head, I can't figure out a way to stop being me!" Rai replied, her voice building to a crescendo. It felt good to express how she felt, Graeber's warnings be damned.
"You don't have to do it alone. I'm here for you. Jesse's here for you. The entire Durmah Sept stands with you," he replied softly.
"But you won't be," Rai replied, a sad, resigned smile reinforced her argument. Rai then brushed past him and headed back towards the wagons. Back to her life of lies.
She heard him hurry to catch up with her. "You don't know that, Rai. Durmah will stand by you, regardless of who you were before you were adopted."
"You say that now," Rai muttered, walking even faster.
"Hey, slow down!" he called. "We need to talk about this!"
Rai stopped and rounded on him, ready to begin a new tirade.
That's when she saw it, across the stream from them. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end as she took in the shiny, black, hulking carapace poised motionless. It was no more than, what? Five meters away from them? Less?
Rai felt the water jug from her left-hand land on her foot as she reflexively reached for the dart gun she generally kept hidden in her pants pocket. She felt the color drain from her face as she realized that the weapon was still in Laan's wagon. She'd been too sleepy this morning to remember to take it with her. Not that it would have mattered, the thing was undoubtedly impervious to such a small-caliber weapon. Wait, what was she thinking? It's not like she could attack a Juggernaut, lest the Hegemony decide to eliminate their colony in retaliation.
Ponar stopped, facing her. "What's wrong?"
Rai didn't dare take her eyes off of it. "Juggernaut," she whispered, not a doubt in her mind.
Ponar stared at her in disbelief, shaking his head. "But that's impossible. Where ... ?" he asked. Rai pointed, and he turned around until his eyes fixed on the alien creature. "It's not moving," he whispered, his face white as a bleached sheet. "Are you sure...?"
Surely it saw them, she reasoned. At this distance, it also heard everything they'd said. Yet it sat there motionless, all two arms, four legs, and three hulking segments encased in a glossy, black, spiny exoskeleton. She couldn't detect any movement in the eyes, which were like large, multifaceted black gems. It reminded her vaguely of a beetle. A very, very large beetle. The wind kicked up, and Rai watched the highest branches brush the shoulder and back of the creature. Rai estimated the trees stood at least twenty-five feet tall.
"Yes. I recommend we move away, slowly," Rai whispered.
Moving with deliberate caution, Rai picked up her water bottles and started walking back up the stream. Ponar followed, matching her pace. Neither one took their eyes off of the black behemoth. Every step seemed to take forever. What was it doing? Thinking? After they'd doubled their distance to the creature, Rai hoped they might even escape. Perhaps it hadn't noticed them, after all? Maybe it slept?
Stop / Cease retreat / I am ... curious.
Rai froze, taking a yet closer look at the Juggernaut. Nothing had changed, and yet Rai felt the undeniable, itchy presence of the Juggernaut lurking in her mind. The images and feelings came all at once from the hulk, but the meaning was clear to Rai. For some reason, it found her fascinating.
Ponar looked at her in confusion, and then back at the Juggernaut, and then back at her. "What is it?" he whispered.
"Keep going, and get the others on the road. I'll catch up in a minute," Rai replied, dropping the whisper.
"That's out of the question. I'm not leaving you here with that. Besides, it could be asleep," Ponar whispered back.
Rai met his gaze. "It's not asleep. It wants to talk."
"That's ridiculous. For all we know it could have been dead for a hundred years now," Ponar replied. "We might be staring at a mummified corpse."
Rai felt the Juggernaut pushing, nudging her again. "No," she pushed back, suddenly reminded of Graeber reading her yesterday. "Whatever you want to know, you come out and ask nicely." She said this out loud and clearly within her mind to the alien.
Ponar looked at her like she'd lost her mind. Maybe I have, Rai considered. The surreal nature of the past day had continued to slip into dream time potential.
A loud exhalation, which Rai interpreted as irritation, was the first definitive sign of life from the Juggernaut. Abruptly the creature moved towards them, with what seemed an impossible speed for such a mass carried upon its four hind legs. As it crossed the stream with no seeming effort, water splashed everywhere, and Rai could have sworn a few fish leaped out of its path. Ponar fled backward, recoiling from the unspoken might of the creature, falling back over a large rock. Rai did her best to hold her ground, guessing that if it wanted her dead, there wasn't a damned thing she could do about it.
The Juggernaut came to a stop a few feet from them, half in and half out of the water. Rai guessed they were within easy reach of its long arms. If it took any notice of Ponar, she couldn't tell.
Do not challenge the might of th
e Hegemony, worthless primate child! / I will ask as I deem fit / You will fulfill my curiosity.
Rai was amazed that the images and words could be so clear and yet happen all at once. "How do you do that?" she asked out loud. The ideas all at once and without speech were woven into her meaning.
The Juggernaut lowered his head even with hers, bringing them face to face. Curiosity had gotten the better of them both. From this angle, Rai could see a brilliant sigil in orange and purple tones which was somehow imprinted into the spike-rimmed carapace behind its head. Whether it pulsed in time with its heart or temper, Rai could not tell.
Without speech? The appalling ethnocentric universe-view of your species never ceases to amaze! / Sufficient intellects, unlike yours, are not limited to single lines of communication / There is a larger question / I have observed you here with the other / Fulfill my curiosity.
The length and intensity of his message left Rai feeling a tad nauseated. She suspected allowing a Juggernaut to watch her clumsily attempt to use her enhanced abilities was also on Graeber's list of what not to do? "What are you even asking?" she yelled into its face.
I had examined many specimens of your species / Never before was this talent found / You will explain to me how it is that you are unique in this way?
His question drove home all of her frustrations. It was unfortunate enough not to know who she was, and to know she had bizarre untapped abilities she wasn't supposed to be using, but to have this alien Juggernaut demand an explanation was the last straw.
If sanity was a thing one could feel snap, would this brittle wildness be how it felt?
"How the fuck should I know? You're my superior in every way, so why don't you tell me? And besides, why in the entire universe would you ever stoop to asking for my lowly assistance?" Rai screamed.
How terribly amusing / You don't know, do you? / Quite insecure about it too / Possibly ridiculed--tormented--shunned by your own kind, yes? / So curious.
"And you apparently love to be right all of the time. Can our analysis end here?" Rai shouted at the alien, who stood motionless.
She sensed the Juggernaut grin.
Dreams Manifest (The Depths of Memory Book 2) Page 6
