by Loris James
When we got to her room we sat side by side on her bed and she produced a document.
“We said we wanted to make it legal. I had this drawn up.” She gave the document to me to read and lit a cigarette. It was the first time I had seen her smoke. I was suddenly unpleasantly reminded of Katherine and wondered if she had been with Katherine while she was away. I noticed that it was the same brand of cigarette that Katherine smoked.
I shrugged the thought from my mind and began to read. It was an incredible document.
CONTRACT OF SUBMISSION the heading on the first page read.
It listed Saskia as the “Owner-Mistress”, and me as her property and “slave”. It stated that the contract was legal and binding, and laid out the terms of the total ownership, dominance and control by the Owner-Mistress over her Slave.
Upon signing this Contract, the Owner-Mistress could bestow any physical marks upon her slave to serve as visible proof of ownership of, and absolute servitude by the Slave.
It further stated that my duty as a Slave was to please my owner and mistress at all times. I would be expected to fulfil all the physical and emotional needs of my mistress, and would submit myself as a sexual object for the amusement of my mistress. Furthermore, I would be obedient to my mistress in all things and at all times.
I would be expected to address Saskia as “Mistress” at all times and would only be permitted to speak when spoken to by my mistress. Any deviation from this rule would result in immediate and severe physical punishment, i.e. whipping with a cat-o-nine-tails or other suitable punishment to be determined by my mistress.
I would only be permitted to sit, stand, sleep, eat, walk, lay and kneel where when and how my mistress desired and allowed.
I would only dress in a manner desired by my mistress, and would instantly undress and get completely naked at the command of my mistress.
Upon arising each day I would be expected to kneel naked on the floor with my forehead touching the ground, eyes closed, arms stretched out behind me in the “Devotion” position. In this position I would recite the slave’s Mantra 3 times as follows:
“I am a slave to my owner and mistress. The only purpose of my entire existence is to obey, worship and serve my mistress. I am nothing in the presence of this goddess. Every wish of my mistress is my immediate command. I will submit to the will and authority of my mistress and will submit myself to her punishment at all times. My mistress’s every desire is absolute.”
After this, I would go to my mistress and serve her. My first greeting to my mistress would be as follows: “Mistress, your wretched slave is ready to serve and obey your supreme magnificence. Thank you, Mistress, for casting your divine radiance upon this worthless, insignificant and despicable being. I eagerly await your command and your punishment.”
Failure to comply with any of the above would result in immediate and severe physical chastisement.
There was a whole section devoted to punishment and discipline training.
As Saskia’s slave, I was always to be unquestionably submissive to my mistress, and to consider her every word or gesture towards me as an extraordinary mercy.
At my mistress’s pleasure, forms of discipline would be administered and may include any of the following: bondage, restraint, whipping, leash training, and the use of varies instruments of discipline. Special training activities would include but not be limited to: humiliation techniques, physical discipline of various design, caging, bondage, restraint, gags, hoods, blindfolds etc.
Punishments would be at the sole discretion of my mistress, and may include but would not be restricted to: slapping, nipple pinching, kicking, whipping, falaqi, ball-busting, genital pinching, genital confinement, intense bondage time, mummification, clamps and weights attached to sensitive parts of my body, i.e. nipples, penis and testicles; ball gags, chains and/or handcuffs may also be used as well as severe electrical shocks administered to the genitals.
There was also a paragraph devoted to Orgasm Control. As a slave I would only be permitted to achieve orgasm with the express permission of my mistress. My orgasms would be controlled in order to exhibit absolute obedience and to generate sexual excitement for the pleasure and gratification of my mistress.
The duration of the Contract was ad infinitum - unless revoked and cancelled by my mistress.
By signing the contract, I would bind myself to my mistress for life, or until such time that she herself decides to set me free – if ever.
I finished reading and sat staring at the paper for a long time. My hands were trembling. I hadn’t expected our new partnership to be so cruel and coldbloodedly one-sided. Reading the words on paper phrased in cold legal terms made it seem all the more brutal and merciless.
Had I totally misread Saskia? Is this who she really was – cold and ruthlessly cruel? If so, I was in a lot of trouble.
My heart was pounding and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
Finally I looked up at Saskia.
“This is rather one-sided,” I said carefully.
“Of course,” she replied, shrugging. “It’s simple really - you will cease to be my lover and become my slave with immediate effect. From now on you will look upon any favor I may choose to bestow on you as pure benevolence. You no longer have any access to my body. This document is crystal clear - there will be no limit to my power over you. By signing this you will become mine - my possession, my sex object, my plaything - whom I can break to pieces anytime I wish. You are nothing and I am everything. Do you understand?” She laughed and kissed my cheek, and a cold shiver ran through me.
“Won’t you allow me just a few conditions of my own—?” I began.
“Conditions?” She frowned. “Ah! We haven’t started yet and you’re already asking for escape clauses. Perhaps you’re regretting your promise of earlier and want to back out? Well, it’s too late now. You gave me your word.”
“I’m not backing out. I would just like to add a few things to our contract. For example, that you will never leave me—”
Saskia smiled through half shut eyelids. “Is that all you’re worried about? There may come a day when you’ll beg me to leave you. You seem to be forgetting the most important thing,” she whispered, eye flashing. “I intend be very cruel to you, do you understand?”
“I understand,” I said softly. “Do you want me to sign the contract?”
“Not yet. The actual signing will occur at a time and place of my choosing. We’ll make something of a ritual out of it.”
I thought of something suddenly. “If we are going to begin this new life together we can’t stay here. Besides, Mrs Wilson is already beginning to look at us askance. I think we may have been a little too loud in our lovemaking of late.”
Saskia smiled. “What do you expect when you’re always attacking me like a rampant bull?”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. Not entirely. You’re haven’t yet learnt the art of restraint. Sometimes a lady wants to be wooed a little, flirted with, before being fucked repeatedly. I love your stamina and your passion but you must learn self-control in future. That is something I will teach you when you’re my fully-fledged slave.”
She took my hand and smiled. “You’re right about what you said earlier. We certainly can’t stay here. While I’ve been away I’ve been thinking things over. What I want out of our relationship in future is to have a slave who submits completely to my power. The thought of that excites me tremendously. And to that end I have decided that we will live in the country where we are not known. I have been looking at a few places while I was away and there are a few possibilities, but I haven’t quite made my mind up yet. The kind of place we need must be isolated and secluded – far away from prying eyes.”
I could see that she was very excited. Her dark red hair was loose and fell like a lion’s mane down her back and her green eyes blazed brilliantly with delicious anticipation at the prospect of having me completely in her power.
“I want to be absolutely in your power!” I murmured fervently, seized by a sudden frenzy of passion. I could scarcely think clearly. “I want to put myself unconditionally at your mercy - without any limits to your power over me!” I looked at her with delirious eyes. She was my love, my mistress, my beautiful temptress and seductress – my everything.
She ran her fingers tenderly through my hair. “How beautiful you are at this moment, Julian,” she said softly. “You look so angelic and vulnerable. Your eyes are feverish with ecstasy yet I can’t help thinking how wonderful you would look if you were being cruelly beaten, or in the extreme agony of some physical torture. Is that very evil of me to think such things? I’m not entirely to blame, though - you possess air of a true martyr. You’re the kind of man that is capable of corrupting the soul of any woman. I fear that you have already ruined me.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Most welcome, bondage, for thou art a way, I think, to liberty.” - William Shakespeare
In the dead of night, lying alone in my bed, I am awake and unable to sleep. I have become uneasy about placing myself so absolutely, so unconditionally into Saskia’s hands. Suppose she did abuse my passion and her newfound power over me? I was only too familiar with unspeakable cruelties at the hands of ruthless, self-serving women.
But if that is to be the case, then wouldn’t I be fulfilling the dark dreams that have haunted me since childhood? Dark fantasies that filled me with fear, yet at the same time offering excruciating tormented pleasure.
Surely this will be just a sexual game that we will be playing and nothing more? She loves me, I’m sure of it. I can see it in her eyes, in the way that she looks at me. I can feel it in the tenderness of her touch. She is my love. She is beautiful and good and kind - incapable of gross depravity and cruelty.
But the power lies in her hands — in future, if she wants to be cruel towards me, she can.
But I love her with a love that is obsessive and overpowering. I must have her no matter what the cost. Love can be a sweet and tender, and yet at the same time it can be violent and insane - an illogical power that drives us to commit unspeakable deeds in its name. And yet also a force capable of the most amazing, tender kindnesses towards the objects of our desire. Love robs us of all judgement and reason. We cease to think clearly, and we carelessly allow ourselves to be swept away by it without knowing where it will lead and where it will eventually end.
With that thought in mind, I finally close my eyes and drift off into a fitful sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“Sex without pain is like food without taste.” ― Marquis de Sade
A new guest booked into the hotel yesterday. He arrived in the dead of night and asked for the best room. Today we came across him walking out in the woods. He has a tall, athletic figure, magnificent rugged features, and a splendid bearing. He looks like a man in his mid-forties, with the kind of craggy handsome features that women find appealing.
Our paths crossed and he seemed lost in his own thoughts, eyes staring at some distant horizon, hands clasped behind his back. Suddenly he saw Saskia and stopped. He fixed a curious, piercing look on her. As we passed by he turned his head after her and stood perfectly still, following her with his eyes, devouring her with his gaze.
She returned his gaze openly. There was an immediate change in her demeanor - the brazen flirtatiousness with which she walked and looked at him appalled me.
On the way back to the hotel I remarked about it and she frowned disapprovingly.
“Don’t start playing the jealous lover, Julian,” she said. “That would really irritate me. Our new guest looks like the kind of man I might like. He is obviously good looking and confident - and alone. And I am a free woman. I can do as I please.”
I was suddenly frightened. “What do you mean you’re free? What about us?”
“What about us?” she challenged irritably. “Just because you and I were lovers it doesn’t mean I can’t look at another man. I am interested in our mysterious new guest. Perhaps I shall have a fling with him. A short, intense, sexual encounter of some sort. Perhaps I’ll go to his room tonight and seduce him. Or take him out to the woods and let him fuck me there.”
She saw the downcast look on my face and was angered by it. “Aren’t you my slave? Am I not your owner and mistress and goddess? Have you forgotten that as my slave you live to serve me alone, that your sole purpose in life is to secure my happiness?”
I was silent. Her words crushed me; her cutting look was like a dagger through my heart. Just because we were lovers – she had said it in the past tense. And indeed, she had not allowed me to make love to her since her return. She had responded to my passionate kisses and had allowed me to suckle at her naked breasts, but as soon as my hand wondered down to her luscious thighs and dug between her legs she would push my hand away and keep her thighs firmly clamped shut.
“Find out that man’s name and what room number he’s in,” Saskia said. “I shall pay him a visit tonight.”
“But—”
“No argument!” she said sternly. “As my slave you are to obey my every command. Go now! And don’t you dare enter my sight again until you have the information.”
I obtained the information by going through the hotel’s register when Mrs Wilson’s back was turned, and went up to Saskia’s room. She made me stand before her like a servant, while she leaned back in her armchair. “So? Have you got his name and room number?”
I nodded and gave the information to her. When I had finished, she nodded, seeming satisfied.
“How will this end?” I said finally, wretchedly.
She laughed playfully. “How will it end? Why, things haven’t even begun yet, you silly boy!”
“You are more heartless than I imagined. Why are you tormenting me like this?”
“Julian,” she said suddenly serious. “I haven’t done anything yet! Not the slightest thing! And here you are, already accusing me of being heartless! What will happen when we begin to live out your fantasies of slavehood? What will happen when I actually begin to fulfil your dreams and treat you badly?”
“Perhaps you are taking my fantasies too seriously,” I mumbled almost inaudibly.
“Too seriously? We can’t stop the roles you have chosen for us once we begin! May I remind you that you’re the one who wanted this. Was it my idea or yours? Did I persuade you, or were you the one who planted the idea in my head? How dare you blame me now for taking it seriously?”
“Saskia,” I replied, uncertainly, “listen to me. I love you infinitely. Aren’t we happy together just as we are? Do you want to sacrifice our entire future for a fantasy?”
“It has become much more than a fantasy,” she retorted angrily.
“What has it become, then?” I asked.
“You have awoken something that has lain dormant in me, Julian. Perhaps these feelings would never have emerged if you had not come into my life and brought them out of me. The thought of our unique future together has become a powerful force within me. It fills my thoughts day and night – I can think of little else. I am beginning to enjoy this perverted and exciting power I have over you – with all its shades of wickedness and depravity. Are you saying that you want to back out of our agreement before we have even begun? Katherine was right – you are nothing but a shallow man who does not even have the courage of his convictions.”
For the first time in our relationship I could see that she was extremely angry with me.
“My love!” I began, and tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away sharply.
“Don’t touch me! You are not a man, you’re a child! I may not have your raving corrupt imagination, but when I make
up my mind to do something I carry it through! Now you can go! Leave me!”
She pushed me away and got up.
“Saskia!” I moaned pleadingly, frightened by her anger and rejection.
Her green eyes blazed. “You have your own free choice! I am certainly not forcing you to be my slave!”
My eyes grew moist. “Saskia,” I said emotionally, “don’t you know how much I love you?”
Her lips curled down contemptuously. “Decide now, Julian! Will you submit yourself to me unconditionally as we planned – or not?” She stood before me, cold and disdainful. As she stood there, hands on her hips, an evil smile played about her lips. Her expression was hard, her eyes merciless.
“Well—?” she said at last.
“Don’t be angry with me. Punish me if you like.”
“Punish you? Oh no!” she replied, “I shall let you go, that’s what I’ll do! You are free. There’s the door! Don’t let me hold you back!”
“Saskia, I love you —”
“Yes, you love and adore me,” she said sneeringly. “So you keep saying! But what is your supposed love really worth? You are nothing but a coward and a liar - a breaker of promises. Leave me! Go!”
“Saskia —”
“Go!”
“Oh my God!” I cried, beside myself. “I will do whatever you want! I will be your slave, I will be submissive! I will be a mere object with which you can do with as you like. Please! Please, I beg you, don’t send me away!” I fell to my knees before her in supplication and threw my arms around her.
“Yes, you must be a slave,” she said, calm suddenly. “You deserve to be lashed and beaten because you’re duplicitous. Now that I know your cowardly nature, you deserve to be maltreated. I know you now, and you shall certainly come to know me.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desire?” - William Shakespeare
Lately, I am in a permanent state of anxiety. I feel as though I am standing on quicksand. I know that I am sinking but I make no move to save myself. It’s as if I welcome my own destruction. The thought of being constantly subjected to pain excites me immeasurably and yet, makes me afraid.
