by Lucinda John
"You also told me that as soon as Cray had the baby you were leaving her," I cut my eyes at him.
"Why you tryna complicate our relationship." He handed me a towel.
"I'm not, I just don't believe in abortions," I lied.
I was all for abortions, but I was madly in love with Bobby. I was hoping that this baby would be the motivation he needed to leave Cray. He has been feeding me that bullshit for that past few months and I was starting to get sick of it.
"Beamer, our relationship is still fresh. Let's enjoy each other before we have a baby."
"I know but I can't do that to an innocent baby."
Something told me not to trust Bobby. I was going to need this baby to get what I wanted so I decided to go through with this pregnancy. If I couldn't have him to myself then Cray and I would just have to share him until both of our kids turned eighteen. There was no way Bobby was going to leave me high and dry while I carried his child.
"Fuck man," he cursed storming out of the bathroom.
"What's the big deal?" I asked following behind him.
"I'm not tryna have another baby right now man."
"You should've thought of that while you were raw dogging me," I smirked.
"You think this shit is funny?” he seethed grabbing me by the neck.
"It is what it is," I shrugged unfazed by him.
Bobby was nothing like Zoe, so I didn't fear him. Zoe was a boss nigga; when he spoke you jumped. Bobby on the other hand was chill and laid back. He didn't put his hands on women and he had a sweet side, that's what really drew me into him. With Zoe, everything was just so rough but with Bobby it was more sensual.
"Hit me up when you get back." He pushed me to the wall and dropped me. I heard my door slam and his car start.
"Nigga you my baby daddy, I want all your money, I want child support, nigga you fucked up," I sang and danced as I got dressed for my flight.
****
When I made it to Sarasota, I headed to the car rental place that was connected to the airport, and rented a car to get me around. After checking into my hotel room, I grabbed something to eat and took a quick nap. Between that flight and this baby I was dog tired and all I wanted to do was sleep.
The next morning I showered, dressed myself in a navy blue halter-top high-low dress, gold Guess thong sandals, and accessorized it with my gold locket necklace with the matching charm bracelet, and was ready to go. Checking my phone, I frowned when I noticed Bobby didn't try to get in contact with me. He was really starting to piss me off with that going missing shit. If he didn't get it together quick, I was going to help his ass. Stopping in the dining area I sat and ate breakfast before heading to my mother's house.
I took my time driving through my old hood as I scoped everything out. Nothing new in this small town; the same old nosey Haitians still sat outside of their house minding everybody's business but their own. I pulled into my Mom's driveway and was hit with a for sale sign. Confused, I got out of my car to inspect what was going on.
"Who are you looking for?" an old man asked me.
"My mother, she used to live here with a little boy."
"That was your mother?" he asked with a look of disgust.
"Yes, do you know where she is?" I rolled my eyes.
"Yes, she's in the cemetery."
"The cemetery?" I repeated.
"Child you are a disgrace," he huffed.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me right. Where were you when she started to struggle? Where were you when she was sleeping house from house, under trees, and in shelters? She was caring for your son, and you never came by and checked up on them. You're a little too late because that poor lady passed away." He cut his eyes at me.
"My mother died?"
"Your mother? Humph! Good thing that guy came by and took care of your mother's funeral arrangements or they would have cremated her."
"What guy?"
"The father of your child, or did you forget you had one of those," he said before walking off.
I walked back to the car feeling like shit. I loved my mother. She was always in my corner and I felt bad for the way I treated her. She struggled because I didn't want anything to do with a child I carried. I sat in the car and cried because I missed out on time that I couldn't get back.
Starting the car, I head to the cemetery to pay my mother respect. There was a flower shop next to the graveyard so I grabbed my mother a bunch of purple and yellow flowers.
"How may I help you?" the white guy behind the desk asked.
"Yes, I'm looking for my mother I'm not too sure when she was buried."
"You can go over to those quick search computers, put in her name and it's going to give you a location," he smiled.
"Thank you."
I walked over to the computer and punched in my mother's name and her information came up. I wrote down the lot number and walked over to where she was buried. I had to give Zoe his props. He did make sure she had the best locations and tombstone. Seeing the picture of her and my son on her tombstone brought tears to my eyes. This was my first time seeing him since I walked out on him, and he was handsome. He was Zoe all the way, from the hair down to his smile.
"Mama mwen menm se konsa regrèt pou pa ke yo te isit la pou ou. Mwen ta dwe nan koute ou lè ou te rele m 'pou èd. Mwen regrèt ke mwen pa t 'kappab pase moman dènye mwen avèk ou oswa menm swete w orevwa. Mwen te twò okipe yo te egoyis pou m 'pa t' sispann epi reflechi sou ou menm ak pitit gason m '. Mwen swete ke ou ta padonnen m 'e mwen vle fè w konnen mwen renmen ou anpil. Mèsi pou fè tankou yon gwo travay ak pitit gason m 'yo, pouvwa ou jwenn repo ak kè poze. Jiskaske nou rankontre ankò, jis konnen mwen ap toujou pote ou nan kè m '."
(Mama I am so sorry for not being here for you. I should've listened to you when you was calling me for help. I regret that I wasn't able to spend your last moments with you or even wish you goodbye. I was too busy being selfish that I didn't stop and think about you and my son. I wish that you would forgive me and I want to let you know I love you very much. Thank you for doing such a great job with my son. May you rest in peace. Until we meet again, just know I will always carry you in my heart.)
I wiped my tears and placed the flowers down.
Reciting a quick prayer, I sat down in the grass and cried. I wished I could go back in time and just answer one of my mother's calls. I should have come down when she said she needed me, instead of changing my number. It took me losing my mother to realize that I had to do better. Zoe was probably going to kill me, but I had to meet my son and get to know him.
Chapter 11
Cookie
"Ehhhhhhhhhhhh."
The sound of this baby being vacuumed out of me pierced my ears. I slipped up and got pregnant by one of my mother's side pieces, resulting in me laying in this cold ass room on my back, getting remains sucked out of my pussy. I couldn't wait for this doctor to hurry the fuck up so that I could return to my extracurricular activities. I loved being young, wild, and free, I wasn't tryna have a baby fuck up my vibe. Natasha fucked around and got pregnant, now she was living a boing life in the mountains somewhere. Hell, she should have listened to me when I told her to get rid of it, her fault.
"Cookie, how are you feeling?" the doctor asked me.
"I'm feeling fine," I replied.
"Ok, on the count of three I'm going to help you up so that I can get you to recovery."
"Ok."
"1..2..3.. up."
The moment I stood up a pain shot through my pelvis causing me to double over. The doctor helped me to an even colder room that was accompanied by two nursed and women that just got their coochies sucked out.
The nurse came over to me and handed me two pills, some crackers, water, and a warm blanket. Tossing the pills in my mouth, I washed it down with some water and reached for my phone that was in my bag. I sent Brooklyn a text letting her know that as soon as I finished up I was going to swing by and pick her up.
Brooklyn met some
ballers that we were going to chill with tonight. Although I was supposed to be resting, time is money. I was sick of fucking with these low class niggas that couldn't support my lifestyle. All I needed was one mega baller to fuck with so that I could milk every red cent out of his ass. Putting my phone down, I surveyed the room and read through the signs that were basically saying 'Don't beat yourself up about your decision.' Blah Blah Blah.
My eyes fell on a girl that looked no older than thirteen years old. She held this smirk on her face, as if getting an abortion that young was cute. The way the nurses were referring to her by name made it evident that this wasn't her first time being here.
"Fast ass little girl," I scoffed making myself comfortable.
Whatever pills the nurses gave me was starting to have an effect on my body. I felt myself relax and sleep began to knock at my front door. I felt my phone vibrate. As soon as I swiped my finger to read Brooklyn’s text, my eyes got heavy and I allowed them to close.
****
"Cookie sweetie, wake up." I felt myself being gently shaken.
I wiped my drool with the back of my hand and sat up. I allowed my eyes to adjust to the light of the room before gathering my things. I looked around the room and everyone was gone. A cleaning lady was present, wiping down the chairs and placing clean mats for the new patients that will need to recover.
"Hello Cookie, how are you feeling?" the doctor asked again.
"I'm feeling better."
"Good, I just want to go over your discharge instructions with you. No sex or nothing in the vagina for a week. If you start to experience heavy bleeding with clots, excruciating pain, or a high fever, please call our twenty-four hour hotline. I want to see you back here in a week. Make sure you rest and here are some pills for the pain." He smiled handing me a baggie of condoms, a pill bottle, and a folder. "Nurse Oz will be here in a few to wheel you to the car. Is your ride here."
"Yes."
"Good, take care of yourself."
The nurse came in and assisted me with getting into the wheelchair. She wheeled me to Jean's car, who was on the phone smiling. I didn't give a fuck though because he wasn't my man. The protesters outside was giving me a headache with all the hooting and hollering there were doing. If God was the only one that could judge, why were they out here yelling at folks telling them they were going to hell? If I wasn't still drowsy from the pills I would have told them a thing or two.
"Are you ok?" Jean asked helping me in the car.
"I'm fine."
"Are you hungry?"
"No." I sucked my teeth annoyed with his ass. "Can you take me on fifth to pick up my friend?"
"Ok."
I texted Brooklyn to let her know that I was on my way, then sat back with my head against the headrest. When we got to Brooklyn's house, I texted and told her to come out. Watching her walk to the car, my heart pumped with envy. Brooklyn was very pretty and she had her own place. I on the other hand was a bad bitch, but I was a bad bitch still living with her mother. I really had to step up my pussy game because I needed to be staying in my own spot.
"Hello," Brooklyn greeted everyone as she got in the car.
The drive back to my house was a quiet one. Brooklyn was in the back
texting somebody who kept a smile on her face, while I watched her through the rearview mirror. When we made it to my house, I tossed Brooklyn the keys so that she could go in while I picked Jean's pockets.
"Where is your mom?" he asked.
"Out of town," I replied. "I need some money."
Jean pushed his chair back, and pulled out his dick. Jean was working with a fucking monster and he knew how to slang that motherfucker. If it wasn't for the blood that was between my legs, I would have jumped on it. Jean was hard on the eyes, but had good dick and money so that made up for his bad looks.
Lowering my head down to his crotch, I licked my lips before taking all of him in my mouth. The way I sucked his dick determined how much bread he broke off so I made sure to slurp that shit real good. Jean's dick was knocking back my tonsils as my tongue flicked across his balls. He slipped his hands in my panties and fingered my ass while I
sucked him off.
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg!!" Jean called out as his unloaded in my mouth.
Showing him his seeds, I swallowed them and held my hand out. I must have gave him that supa head because he handed me six big face hundreds. Satisfied I kissed him on the cheeks and exited the car with plans on getting my hair done.
When I walked inside, Brooklyn was still making those goofy eyes while she texted.
"Damn bitch, that nigga saying some sweet shit to ya," I smirked.
"I'm feeling him," she shrugged.
"You feeling him or his pockets?" I quizzed.
"Both," she giggled. "How we getting to his house?"
"I'm about to drive ma dukes car."
"Where she at anyways?"
"She went on vacation with that married white man."
"Damn I'm tryna get like her."
"I'm tryna tell you," I cosigned. "Roll up, I'm about to hit the shower," I said tossing her a bag of Crip.
I walked through my mother's room and rummaged through her closet. I settled on a green and red Gucci jumper and the matching sandals. Grabbing a bottle of her Mariah Carey perfume, I walked into my room and laid the things on my bed. Stripping down, I threw away the diaper they had me wearing and jumped in the shower. Lathering some Vagisil in the palm of my hands, I washed between my legs and rinsed with hot water.
"You sure you good?" Brooklyn asked walking into my room.
"Yeah I'm fine," I replied pulling my jumper over my ass. "It was just an abortion, you acting like I got surgery or some shit." I smacked my lips.
"Whatever, it's your body," she replied passing me the blunt.
Taking a few puffs, I passed it back to her and flat ironed my hair. After making sure every strand was bone straight, I applied some gloss to my lips and sprayed my body down with the perfume. I noticed that Brooklyn had changed into some body’s shorts that her displayed her fat ass, and a crop baseball shirt. I rolled my eyes at her; she always had to outdo me.
"You ready?" I asked.
"Yes, let’s go," she smiled.
We got in my mother's BMW and Brooklyn directed me where to go. A big smile spread against my face when I realized I was on the East Side Boys turf. If the boys Brooklyn was talking about rolled with Zoe, then them niggas was paid.
I pulled in front of the trap house and we got out. A big guy was standing in front of the door, smoking a blunt with a mug on his face.
"I'm here to see Rich," Brooklyn said.
"Who are you?" he licked his lips, looking Brooklyn up and down.
"Brooklyn," she smiled.
The big guy went in the house and a few minutes later he was accompanied by Rich’s sexy ass. That motherfucker was so fine I wanted to get on my knees and start sucking his dick.
"Hey boo," Brooklyn gushed reaching for a hug.
"What's good ma," he hugged her back.
The way he was acting towards her, he ain't look like he was really that much into her. I had to laugh at Brooklyn’s dumbass for thinking this fine ass nigga was feeling her like that. The most Brooklyn would probably get out of his ass was dick. A nigga of his caliber ain't wifing no hoe.
"Y'all come in." He motioned for us to come inside.
The trap house was bumping. Bitches were walking around naked, bagging up work. Blunts were being passed around, and security guards were in every section of the place. Choppa’s sexy ass came in from the back room and I swear I thought I died and went to heaven. All I kept hearing was ching, ching.
"Y'all come to the back let me holla at y'all real quick," Choppa said.
We followed Choppa and Rich to a back room that was filled with guns.
I started to get nervous, but excited at the same time.
"Sit down," Choppa said.
Brooklyn and I took a seat on the sofa. I looked
over to her to see what the fuck was going on, but all she could do was shrug her shoulders. If this bitch set me up for some shit, I swear I was going to fuck her up.
"I hear y'all interested in making money," Choppa spoke.
Hearing him talk about money eased my mind a little bit.
"Yeah we with it," Brooklyn spoke for us.
"I got a simple job for y'all. I want y'all to be my transporter. The job is fairly simple. I just need y'all to drive vehicles from one location to another. Every job you do, I break y'all off five grand each."
