I made it to the kitchen without seeing anyone. A part of me was relieved that no one jumped out and said, “Hey, what are you doing in my house, stranger?” The other part of me was disappointed that I had not run into any of the guys I knew.
I was rummaging through the fridge when someone came into the kitchen. I closed the fridge door so I could introduce myself. The newcomer was about my height with chestnut brown hair and warm brown eyes. He was wearing jeans and a long sleeved tee. He looked lean and not as heavily muscled as the other guys in the pack.
I smiled at him. “Hi, I’m Anna.”
He flicked his eyes down to my feet and back up to my eyes. “Caleb. Austin mentioned there was going to be a girl here, but I expected you to be more…” He waved a hand in my direction.
I narrowed my eyes at him. More what? I thought to myself. More pretty? More petite? More well-dressed?
He realized that wasn’t the best way to start out and backpedaled. “That is to say, I’m happy to meet you.”
Mmmmhmmmmm…I decided not to let it bother me; he could think whatever he wanted.
“What do you guys usually eat for breakfast?”
He smiled. “Breakfast is usually every man for himself. The twins have the tendency to only visit the meat and deli departments when they go to the grocery store. The rest of us pick up food occasionally to go along with all the meat, but no one really wants to cook breakfast.”
“Ahhh,” I said. “Will anyone care if I start cooking with the food you guys do have here?”
“You’re going to cook?” He looked at me incredulously.
“Why does everyone look so shocked when I say I’m going to cook?” I was curious but also a little irritated.
“Because you’re hot. Everyone knows beautiful girls don’t cook; they just lounge around and wait for people to bring them things,” he stated bluntly.
My jaw dropped. Hot? Beautiful? Did this guy need to put on his glasses? Also, I was a little offended that he thought so poorly of women but I thought about the Kelseys of the world. If the only girls he had ever met were like her, then he might not know any better.
This made me determined to show these guys that not all women were awful. I walked back over to the fridge and started to pull things out. They had bacon, eggs, and cheese in the fridge. I was a little surprised that the pantry had flour and other baking necessities in addition to snacks.
“Where are all the other guys?”
Caleb watched me gather up items from around the kitchen. “James is out of town, Austin should be down for work in a half hour or so. He will probably drag the twins down with him. Cody is still out on his morning run.”
I started pulling out pans, bowls, and measuring utensils. I decided I had everything I needed for bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches on biscuits. With an extra side of bacon, of course.
Caleb watched me measuring out ingredients dubiously but took a seat at the counter. “You’re not going to use a recipe?”
“Trust me, once you have made something ten thousand times, you don’t need a recipe,” I told him confidently. “Do you have to go to work this morning, too?” I asked him, trying to make some light conversation.
“I do, but I work from home.”
I smiled at him. “That sounds cool. What do you do?”
“Oh, I’m the tech guy for the pack.” He grinned ruefully at me. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not great with people.”
I laughed a little and shrugged. “I get nervous around new people.” I gestured toward the mess I was making as I formed and then placed biscuits onto a baking tray. “It helps me to keep moving and focus on physical tasks so I don’t worry so much about what other people think about me.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “I can see that. So that’s why you like to cook?”
I shrugged. “Part of it was necessity; I have to cook if I want to eat. But the other part of it means I have something to keep me occupied when I go to gatherings. If I’m busy with food, I’m not standing awkwardly in the corner, trying to think of things to say to people or being too nervous to walk up to them and start a conversation.”
He looked really surprised. “You don’t look like the type of girl who would have a difficult time socially.”
“What type of girl do I look like?”
He tilted his head. “You look like the girl who everyone else would be too intimidated to talk to.”
I gave him a weird look. “You mean because I’m freakishly tall or something?”
“Nah, you look like a model.”
Was he just messing with me? I looked in his eyes, but it didn’t look like he was mocking me. With the biscuits baking in the oven, I started putting the bacon on another baking sheet that I had found.
“You’re going to put that in the oven? I thought you were supposed to cook it on the stove?”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Trust me, this is going to be good.”
I could tell he wasn’t a believer. The bacon was going in the oven once I popped out the biscuits in another couple minutes, but I needed something else to keep me busy, so I started cracking eggs.
I started opening and closing all the cupboards, looking for something round I could use to make the eggs into the right shape for a sandwich. I eventually found several of those metal rings used to make hamburger patties and figured I could make it work.
Caleb watched me curiously as I put a pan on the stove to heat up. I finished making my egg mixture and looked around for their spice rack. I found what I needed just as the timer went off for the biscuits. I switched the biscuits out for the bacon and reset the timer.
“Jason and Mason have both eaten my food and lived to tell the tale,” I assured him. “I’m pretty sure I hear them coming now.”
I started cooking the eggs and slicing biscuits as I went along. Austin was the first one in the kitchen, and he raised an eyebrow at me standing at the stove. The twins were right behind him.
“Good morning!” I chirped out.
“Anna!” Jason exclaimed. “I checked your room this morning, and you were gone. Why are your things packed?” he asked worriedly.
I glanced at Austin. “Well, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be staying there or…” My voice trailed off, and I was interrupted by the timer.
“I think that room is the best choice,” Austin answered. “Cody and I can keep an eye on you.”
I nodded and pulled the bacon out of the oven.
“All right, bacon!” Mason exclaimed. He was picking up a cup of coffee he had just made from the Keurig. Austin took it out of his hands. “Pack-master gets the first cup.”
Jason snatched a piece of bacon off the tray and tossed it from hand to hand, trying to blow on it and cool it off.
I finished assembling the first two sandwiches and handed them to Austin on a plate. “I’m guessing that goes for sandwiches, too?”
He grinned. “You learn fast.”
I started on the next batch of eggs I needed for more sandwiches. Mason and Jason took turns making coffee and stealing bacon.
Eventually, all of us had sandwiches and coffee. Austin clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention. “Caleb, you already have your assignments for today?” Caleb nodded in confirmation.
“Anna, I need you to work with Caleb at some point today. He needs some info from you for the investigation you are helping with.” It was my turn to nod.
“Mason and Jason, you are going to class as per usual, but I want you back before dinner and to stick with Anna while you are home.”
“We can’t skip class today to take care of Anna?” Mason asked.
“No,” Austin answered sternly.
Caleb cleared his throat. “Don’t you guys only have class from one to four today anyway?”
They both mumbled an assent.
“That gives all three of you plenty of time to clean the pool and take Anna shopping for anything she needs. I’m guessing she can’t live on meat alone
,” Austin told them.
I smiled; it sounded like Caleb wasn’t the only one with complaints about the guys’ shopping habits.
Mason got a glint in his eye. “So, we can shop the way Anna usually does?”
Austin glanced at me. “Within reason, and stick to the budget.”
All of us nodded. Everyone turned to look as the glass door out to the back patio opened and Cody stepped through. He was shirtless and sweaty.
Oh my god, that man was built. I tried not to stare or drool in his direction.
“Cody, excellent. I need you in my office by 10 this morning. We have some things to go over before contract negotiations.”
Cody nodded and looked at the remnants of breakfast. “It looks like I came in a little late.”
“We still have eggs. I can make you an omelet,” I offered shyly.
“You cook?” he asked in surprise.
I groaned. “Why does everyone keep asking that?”
“She’s an awesome cook,” Jason told him enthusiastically.
Mason chimed in and told him about the Mexican dinner they had helped me prepare the previous day. All the guys looked impressed.
“I vote we put Anna in charge of food procurement,” Caleb suggested.
Austin looked at me thoughtfully. “We haven’t decided what Anna’s responsibilities are going to be for the pack yet. I need some more time to get to know her.”
The twins groaned in disappointment.
“You two didn’t think it was going to be that easy to pawn your duties off, did you?” Cody teased them.
“All right, everyone, time to get started on the day. I need to go debrief the night guards unless anyone else has something they needed to bring up?”
Everyone shook their heads no. Austin put his dishes in the sink and headed upstairs. Caleb hesitated after he stood, looking in my direction. “We will bring you Anna when we need to leave for class,” Mason assured him. Caleb nodded and headed after Austin.
Cody wiped his sweaty face with the shirt he had thrown over his shoulder before heading to the fridge. “I already made myself a protein shake for this morning, Anna, but thank you for the offer.”
I smiled at him. “Sure.”
He took his protein shake and a bottle of water back upstairs with him. I was guessing he needed to rush to get ready for the day of meetings with Austin.
It was just me and the twins left standing in the kitchen. “Help me clean up here before we go out to clean the pool?” I asked them. They grumbled a little bit but agreed once I asked them where they planned to get dinner tonight.
We spent the morning cleaning the giant pool. To my surprise, the twins stayed on task and all three of us stayed relatively clean and dry. Once we were finished, we all plopped down in the cushioned chairs.
“We only have one task done for the day, Anna,” Jason told me.
Mason added, “We need you to do your magic grocery trick so we can be free to do fun stuff for the rest of the day.”
“Yeah, we need something good for lunch.”
“My iPad is upstairs.” I laughed.
They both groaned.
I decided to take advantage of the fact that neither of them wanted to move right now. “So, what is it that your pack does for money? It seems like whatever it is, you do it well.”
Mason opened one eye to look at me from where he was lying. “Mainly, we get contracts from the military for ‘security’. You know, like Blackwater.”
I nodded in understanding, and he took it as a sign to continue. “We do really well with that, because almost everyone in our pack is prior military. We also have a lot of ex-special forces like rangers and SEALs to take on projects that no one talks about.”
I looked at him doubtfully. The bars around Seaside were packed with “special forces” on Friday nights. Everyone and his brother claimed to be a Navy SEAL when it came time to impress girls like Kelsey.
“If you’re not deployed overseas or busy with training, you can work for one of the companies Austin has here. He has a construction company and is a part-owner of an engineering firm and some kind of financial company that does investments,” Jason added.
Mason looked at him. “Don’t forget about the bar.”
Jason nodded. “Yeah, so everyone in our pack can always get a good job through Austin’s connections.”
“You guys go to school?”
They both nodded. “We are using our GI bill to get a degree in business.”
I thought it was a little odd that Mason made it sound like the two of them together were earning the same degree and using the same GI bill. I had noticed both of them speaking like that before but had just brushed it off. I decided to delicately bring it up this time.
“So, you guys do everything together?” I asked softly, avoiding their eyes.
They both nodded. “I can tell by your face you think it’s a little weird,” Jason said with a soft smile.
Mason changed the subject. “You know, you’re a little weird, too.”
“Believe me, I know.” They both laughed at my response, but Mason continued. “I didn’t notice it at first, but I can tell that you think of your wolf form as a separate person.”
I gave him a confused look. “Isn’t it, though? I’m a person, and she’s a wolf. I have different thoughts and ways of thinking than she does.”
Jason shook his head. “You’re Anna. Sometimes you look human, and sometimes you look like a wolf, but you are still always Anna.”
Mason frowned. “What do you mean, you ‘have different thoughts’ from her?”
I struggled a little to explain. “You know, when I’m human-Anna, I might feel insecure or nervous, and I am always thinking about how my actions will be interpreted by other people or what they might think about me. My wolf - I mean, I guess when I’m in my wolf form, she - I mean, I act more on instinct. I feel more free, and I just want to run and play and explore.”
They both exchanged glances as I struggled to speak.
“Do you think it might be because you were raised by humans?” Mason asked.
Jason chimed in, “You probably felt like you had to separate your wolf form and hide it from everyone. That made all those aspects of yourself more repressed and must have seemed almost like another person was emerging once you finally let it all out.”
I was a little shocked at how smart they were. They were a lot more than just fun pranksters.
“So how do I…recombine myself?” I felt like an idiot for not being able to find the right words, but they both understood why I was trying to say.
“You need to stop repressing everything that makes you a wolf while you are in human form. You can relax around us; we’re pack.”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure that I could do that. I didn’t even realize I had been repressing myself. Mason scooted over and patted the seat next to him. “I’ll help you practice.”
Jason looked over at us curiously while I moved over to Mason’s cushion.
“I noticed you don’t even try to pick up on scents while you are in human form,” Mason told me.
I blushed. “I didn’t realize I could.”
I think Jason realized what Mason was planning, because he nodded approvingly.
“Close your eyes,” Mason told me. I hesitated.
“You can trust us,” Jason murmured softly as he came over to sit on my other side and nudged me closer to Mason so he could have enough room to sit. I was now wedged between the two twins. I have never felt small before, but being squeezed between these two big guys made me feel petite. I imagined this was what Kelsey felt like all the time.
I tried to relax and closed my eyes. I knew the twins did not intend me any harm; they were trying to help. But despite my best efforts, my body was still tense, as if waiting for a blow to fall.
I felt Mason pick up my right hand and hold it in his. He gently caressed my wrist with his thumb. Jason did the same with my left hand.
“Concentrat
e on what you are feeling right now,” Mason coaxed me quietly.
I first focused on the feel of their hands on mine. Their hands felt callous, as though they spent a lot of time working with their hands. I idly wondered if they spent time at the construction company they mentioned; they definitely had the physiques for it.
I expanded my senses from my hands. I could feel the warm of their bodies pressed against each of my sides. Their thighs against mine…I started to flush with the heat of embarrassment in addition to the heat their bodies were giving me. I decided to abruptly move on because my thoughts were definitely going in the wrong direction.
I decided to focus on the cool breeze I could feel across my face and ruffling my hair.
“You’re doing great,” Mason encouraged me. “Now, reach deep inside yourself where ‘your wolf’ resides. Instead of just letting go and giving that part of yourself complete control, try to use that part of yourself to extend your sense of smell. Try to identify us by smell alone, as if you had no idea who we were.”
I struggled with this part. I reached down and connected with that part of myself that yearned for freedom. I felt ‘her’ trying to emerge, and I clamped down to prevent myself from changing.
I opened my eyes, filled with disappointment and a little bit of shame. “I tried, but…” The words came out in a whisper, and I tried to hold back tears that were threatening to fall.
“It’s OK” Mason patted my thigh encouragingly.
“That was just your first try,” Jason added and released my hand.
“You should keep working on exercises like that, though. Keep trying to expand your senses and draw in that other part of yourself,” Mason told me.
They exchanged glances. “We can try letting her human side have more fun,” Jason suggested.
Mason nodded, his eyes lighting up.
“We are banned from using paintball guns on the property, for reasons I’m sure you don’t need an explanation.”
I rolled my eyes. “I can imagine.”
“We are not even allowed to use them outside,” Jason told me mournfully.
Finding Somewhere to Belong Page 12
