by Kacey Shea
She laughed. “Well, I would have understood, that’s for sure. I mean, the man is walking sex, but my advice probably wouldn’t have been much help. Hell, I would have jumped him the first day if I knew that was an option!”
I tried to smile but her words brought back the guilt for what I had done. She noticed the change in my face immediately, “Okay, enough chit chat for now, it’s time to get up. We’re going out!”
“I’m not going out. I feel like shit, Kate.”
“Don’t worry, we aren’t clubbing. I just want to get coffee with my girl.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew from her track record that she wouldn’t leave my room until I obliged her wishes.
Kate had stopped by every day since then, making me leave the apartment, even if it was only for a short walk through the neighborhood. She was a good friend who never once complained about wasting her free time to keep me from falling into a deep pit of depression.
Tonight was different because it was our monthly girls’ night in. Part of me just wanted to stay holed up in my room, but another part knew that wouldn’t lead me back to a happy and healthy life. And I desperately wanted to believe I could be happy again.
It was Kate’s turn to host and I was getting ready to head over. She had texted me a few minutes earlier, asking me to please pick up food on the way because she was running late. She only kept wine fully stocked in her home. I called in an order to Joe’s and, as every other Friday evening, was told it would be about an hour before my order was ready.
I dressed in a simple black tank, light denim jeans and gray Converse. I had styled my hair back into a low twisted bun and even put on a pair of silver hoop earrings. I thought about wearing my sweatpants and college tee since we weren’t really going out, but the grief Kate and Melissa would give me was not worth the comfort. Even though I was broken inside I was tired of their looks of pity and concern. Fake it until you make it was my motto for the night. I was determined to not be Debbie Downer.
I headed out to the living room, where Jon was stuffing his face with a giant steak and a plate of grilled veggies while watching some action film on Netflix.
“I’m outta here. Is this what you have planned for your evening?”
He grinned, still chewing a big bite of food. “Mm hmph.”
I just rolled my eyes. “Okay, then. Don’t jump in front of any gunmen while I’m out! I may stay over at Kate’s, depending on how much we drink and how late it is.”
He swallowed his food. “Okay. Text me either way so I know you’re safe.” Jon resumed his focus on the food and movie. I grabbed my bag and keys and headed out to my car. I turned on the local radio station and was feeling pretty good by the time I pulled into Joe’s. The parking lot was more packed than usual and I had to drive around before a spot opened up.
I walked inside the restaurant and Abby looked up from the phone, where she was currently taking orders. Her face lit up with a smile. She mouthed five minutes and held up one hand of fingers, then pointed to an empty space at the bar counter. I nodded and took a seat.
I was zoned out, caught up in the cacophony of kitchen prep that could be heard through the thin walls. Joe’s voice bellowed every so often with his deep laughter.
“Evie?”
I turned at the sound of my name to see Carly, smiling timidly, still dressed in her scrubs standing a few feet away. Running into her here was a shock. I looked around to see if Tate or the boys were here as well. I stood from my chair and managed a smile, both relieved and frustrated to see she was alone.
“Hey, Carly. How are you?”
She moved forward to wrap me in an unexpected hug before stepping back. “It’s so good to see you, Evie. We’ve missed you around the house.” She sounded genuine, but I couldn’t help but expect she was just being polite.
“How are the boys?”
Her smile widened at that. “Oh, they’re just great. Keeping me on my toes but I love every minute of it. They keep asking about you. You really made an impression.”
“Well, they’re great boys, and they certainly won me over. You’re doing a great job raising them, Carly.” She blushed at the compliment.
“Thank you for saying that. I honestly do my best.”
“How is he?” I blurted out, and then wished I could reverse time and take the words back. “I’m sorry, that was unfair. I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
“You can ask me about Tate.” She paused before adding. “He isn’t well. He misses you. He’d probably kill me if he knew I told you that, but it’s true.”
“I never wanted to hurt him, but I know I did.” She nodded sympathetically.
“How are you really, Evie?” She acted as though she was sincerely concerned about my welfare. I remembered why I had fallen not only for Tate, but his family as well.
“I only want him to be happy. I wish nothing but the best for him, even if that doesn’t include me. I will make peace with that. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Joe interrupted our conversation. “Evie! My dear! It’s so good to see you. It’s been a while, no? Your order is ready; you paying cash or card tonight?” He stacked the containers of wings and fried zucchini, and a box of pizza on the counter, and I handed him the cash I had readied in my pocket. “Thanks, Joe.” I smiled warmly and he smiled back before bustling back to work.
“Well, it looks like you’re having a party!” Carly laughed lightly before adding, “It was good to see you, Evie.”
“Oh, this.” I pointed to the pile of food. “My sister and bestie and I all get together for a girls’ night once a month. It’s basically an excuse to drink wine, overload on carbs, and laugh about stupid stuff.”
“That sounds nice.”
She stepped forward and hugged me good-bye, but before she stepped away she looked into my eyes, “For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen my brother as happy as when he was with you. And I’ve never seen him as sad as he is now. I’m probably overstepping, but is there any chance you two can repair what broke?
“I’m sorry, we don’t know each other well and it’s not my place, but I know what it’s like to lose something really special. Love doesn’t come around every day. You’ve got to hold onto it with everything you’ve got. He’s a good man, Evie.”
I nodded at her words and blinked back tears. “I know he is.”
“Okay, I’ll let you get to your girls’ night. Have fun, Evie.”
“Bye, Carly.” I grabbed the food off the counter and faltered my way to my car. Tears threatened to spill as I drove but I held them in. I was determined to not cry any more. I would have thought I’d be dehydrated and out of tears by now with all the crying I’d done.
I pulled into the parking garage at Kate’s, rode the elevator to her floor, and let myself in. Melissa and Kate giggled on the oversized sofa, wine glasses in hand. Their heads turned upon hearing me enter the open loft space and their smiles dropped.
“Oh my god, Evie, what happened?”
“What?” I asked. Were they mind readers now? I thought I had schooled my features well before entering the room. I moved to set the food on the glass top coffee table and took a seat on the floor. I proceeded to open the food containers.
“Kate do you have any paper plates?”
“Evie, you’ve been crying.”
I pressed my hands to my face, found wetness under my eyes and wiped it away. Giant smudges of black charcoal came away on my fingers. I hadn’t even realized I was crying.
“Damn mascara! See, this is why I hate makeup. You can’t even cry without everyone noticing.” I tried to joke but Kate and Melissa weren’t having it.
“What happened?” my sister demanded.
“I ran into Tate’s sister at the pizza parlor.”
“Was she mean to you? That bitch! Let me at her. I’ll give her a piece of my mind!” Kate started to work herself up and I laughed sadly.
“No, nothing like that. She was totally nice. Sincere and sweet; just made m
e realize even more how much I screwed up.” I looked at their faces before adding, “I miss him.”
“I know you do, sweetie.”
“I’m sure he misses you too,” my sister stated, and it was my turn to nod.
“That’s what Carly said.”
“Wait! She told you he missed you? What else did she say?” Kate seemed staggered.
“Something about love not being easy to find and that if there was any chance to fix things I should try. I don’t want this whole night to be about me and my pathetic life, though. Can we please just talk about something else? I’m so sick and tired of being sad.”
My sister poured me a glass of wine and Kate brought over plates.
“So, don’t be sad anymore,” my sister challenged, piling her plate full of greasy food.
“That’s easy to say, hard to do.”
“No, it’s not really. Stop being so pathetically passive about this. I mean it, sis. You know I don’t like to offer unsolicited advice, but stop standing on the sidelines and get in the game. Get mad. Get angry. Fight for what you want. Have you even tried calling him? Talking to him?” She was really worked up and I was starting to get pissed.
“So what, it’s my fault again because I don’t go chase him down? I’m not going to beg, if he doesn’t want me, I’ll move on!”
“Yeah, but you’re not moving on. You’re existing; that’s not the same thing. And he’s miserable too, which means he’s not moving on, either. You’re telling me if you had a chance to fix things you’d pass it by because you were too proud to go after what you wanted? For what? The fear you might look pathetic in the process?”
Her words hit me like a punch in the gut. I set my food down.
“You’re right,” I grumbled.
She smirked at me. “I know. I’m always right. Can I get a recording of you admitting it for future reference?”
I laughed. A real laugh, not forced or fake, and it felt good. An energy of excitement bubbled inside me. “Okay, what do I do? I want him back. I’m not going to accept it’s over. I’m going to fight for the man I love.”
Kate and Melissa grinned from across the table. “That’s my girl. Now we need to make a plan. I’m sure with my endless supply of wine we can come up with something. It’s a good thing I’m always prepared.” Kate winked and I smiled. Yes, with my girls we would come up with a plan and tomorrow I would get my Tate back.
“YOU’RE SURE THIS ISN’T STUPID?”
Kate was on the phone calming my nerves and reassuring me of the plan we had devised the night before. I had stopped by the dollar store earlier this morning and was quickly losing my nerve as I drove towards Tate’s house. I hoped he was working his usual Saturday schedule so I’d have plenty of time to prepare. I also hoped Carly would hold to last night’s promise and welcome my impromptu appearance at her doorstep.
“Just breathe, okay. It’s a great plan. I have no doubt it will work. You’ve got this, Evie. I’m here for you one hundred percent!”
“Thank you, Kate. I just needed to hear your voice. I’m pulling up now, so I’ll let you go. I’ll keep you posted.”
“Love you, Evie.”
“Love you too.”
I pulled onto the curb, took a deep breath, and got out of my car to walk up the drive. Before I even made it halfway, the door swung open and Eli and Ezra shouted in glee.
“Evie! You’re here!”
“Mama, Evie’s here to play with us!”
They ran over and I stooped down to accept their bear hugs. Carly’s twinkling laugh sounded across the lawn. “Hello again, Evie.” She walked to where I stood with her boys. “I’m glad to see you again, but I have to admit I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.”
“I thought a lot about what you said last night and I wondered if you’d help me. And Ezra and Eli too. I have some important things to say to Tate and I sort of have a plan.”
She beamed at my words and then looked down at the boys, who seemed to pick up on my nervous excitement. They watched us with rapt attention.
“What do you say, boys? Should we help Evie with a big surprise for Uncle Tate?”
The boys jumped up and down and cheered a resounding yes. I couldn’t help but laugh. Their excitement had me back to thinking this ridiculous plan of mine could actually work.
“Okay, I need to get a few things out of my car but I have to ask, how good are you boys at drawing?”
“Ezra is like the bestest drawer in our house.” Eli answered solemnly.
Ezra nodded before adding. “Mom’s really bad, but Eli and I are really good artists.”
Carly laughed and I walked to the car to pull out shopping bags full of supplies. Over the next few hours, the boys and Carly, and I worked side by side preparing for my big reveal. Carly sent Tate a text while we took a short break to feed the boys lunch. She asked him if he could watch the boys so she could go out shopping for a few hours. He texted back assuring her he would be home just after two o’clock.
A few minutes before two I moved outside to wait for Tate, and the boys went inside their room to change. Carly came out and gave me a tender hug.
“I have a really good feeling about this, Evie. Good luck.” She stepped back, looked around, and smiled at all we had done.
“Thanks Carly. I couldn’t have done this without your help. And the boys too. Thank you for giving me another chance.”
“We all deserve a second chance.”
Carly turned and walked back into the house. I waited. I had dressed simply in dark blue jeans and a fitted green tee, along with my Chucks. I self-consciously pulled at my hair tie, tightening the low ponytail that held my hair back. I heard the Charger before I saw Tate pull onto the street. I stood from the grass, wiping my hands on my jeans and waiting to face my fate.
Tate noticed the giant sidewalk chalk mural on the driveway, and parked his car behind my own on the street. Well, that was a good sign. He didn’t drive away at the sight of me. I still couldn’t see him through the tinted glass of his car, and though only seconds passed, it seemed forever before he finally opened his door and got out.
He had his shades pulled down over his eyes. His hair was still wet and going every which way from either a shower or sweat. He wore gray athletic shorts, a green work T-shirt and a pair of Nikes. He studied me as he walked to where I stood on the driveway.
“Hi, Tate.”
“Hi. What are you doing here, Evie?” He pulled his glasses from his eyes, tucking them into the front of his shirt. His glare almost made me lose courage, but I hadn’t gone through all this trouble just to run away. I had something to say and I would make him listen.
“I want to show you something, and I hoped you would give me a few minutes.” At my words he closed his eyes, a pained expression overtaking his face. “I don’t want you to say anything until you hear me out. I just have to tell you how I feel.”
“I’m sorry, Evie, but I’m not sure I can do this with you right now.”
His words hurt but I persisted. “Just hear me out, okay? That’s all I’m asking. Your nephews even helped. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them, would you?”
He nodded towards the house where Eli and Ezra stood at the window. Their beaming smiles peeked through the glass. “That’s a cheap shot, using my nephews against me.” He spoke softly but couldn’t keep his smile away as they waved at him frantically.
“I know. Please, just hear me out. That’s all I ask. I know I have no right to ask you for anything. I know I don’t deserve it. But I’m asking anyway.”
He looked back at me and nodded. “Okay. What do you need to say?”
I took his hand loosely and pulled him over the chalk art pathway, a collection of hilarious drawings the boys made showcasing all the things I loved most about this man. I hoped to point these out to Tate later with the boys, but that would depend on how well things went now. We reached the covered carport where a small table covered in a long white cloth sat with two chairs.
“Go ahead and have a seat. I want to take you on a little food tour to explain how I feel. They say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and anyway, we both love food.”
His face was impassive. It didn’t give away any inkling of what he thought or felt, and I laughed nervously. “Besides, I hoped if I bribed you with food you might listen to what I have to say.”
I sat across from him at the small table and Eli and Ezra came out promptly, each dressed in black slacks and white shirt and black tie combos. Eli carried a silver serving platter covered with a matching dome lid. Ezra grinned, a neat white dishtowel lapped over his forearm. He played maître d’ and set a glass of water on the table. Eli placed his platter in front of Tate.
“Your first course is served!” Ezra proclaimed proudly and removed the lid. He rushed back inside the house. Tate looked down to see a gourmet hotdog, and laughed in surprise before lifting his questioning gaze to meet my eyes.
“Go ahead and eat while I talk.” I motioned to the food and he dug in. “You were one hot dog when I first met you. Men and women flocked the gym in an attempt to catch the eye of the hottest trainer in town. I was hired by a woman to look into you and assess your compatibility with her laundry list of requisites in a mate. She thought you might make the perfect husband, and when we first met I could see the appeal. I thought you were probably self-absorbed and conceited though, and I only focused on getting to know you better for the sake of the case.”
At my last words he set the half-eaten hot dog down and sadness crossed his features. I was angry I put that there. If I had any shot with him, I had to relive the bad as well as the good in our journey, though. I gave a loud clap and our waiters returned, clearing out one platter and leaving another. Eli lifted the lid on one revealing a cinnamon sugar donut before rushing back inside.
“Why do I suddenly feel I’m back in high school? Evie, are you going to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance?”
