Larry Mac was waiting for us at the bar when we arrived. I was surprised to see him alone. I had just assumed his wife, Margaret, would be joining us. When Katy asked after Marge, Larry was kind of vague about the reasons for her absence. Now I was suspicious. Earlier, on the phone, Larry had said he had been meaning to take us to dinner since his promotion, that it was the least he could do for me. He explained how the promotion had come so swiftly and as such a shock to him that he hadn’t even had time to arrange for the time-honored tradition of a promotion party. That was true. Rob Gloria hadn’t thrown his yet either.
Larry signaled to the maître d’ that his guests had arrived, and we were shown to a prime table in a private corner of the dining room. While Katy and Larry studied the menu, I studied Larry. As was the norm, he was impeccably dressed in a black linen suit over a gauzy white shirt. I always admired that about Larry—he had an abundance of substance and style. That he had taken us here to celebrate was another indication of that. Yet, there was an unfamiliar tension in his expression that I could not decipher. He seemed to be working too hard at his usual easy charm.
Without a sign, verbal or otherwise, a waiter in a long white apron came to the table carrying a bottle of Mumm Cordon Rouge. Larry offered toasts to me, to Katy. We toasted his successes, current and future. All the toasting out of our systems, we ordered dinner. The food was excellent, the aged beef melting like butter in our mouths. The meal was all so splendid, but there was also that tension Larry had brought with him as an escort. It held tight on to Larry’s arm, whispered in his ear even as he ate and made small talk. I wondered if Katy noticed it too. Tonight was about more than just saying thanks. There was definitely something besides steak on my old friend’s plate.
After dessert, Larry ordered cigars and three Grand Marniers in heated snifters. Katy excused herself as a darkly attractive young woman in a black satin cocktail dress came to the table toting a humidor. Though not her equal, her looks were reminiscent of Steven Brightman’s wife. She placed the humidor before Larry and opened the mahogany box in a very formal, almost ritualistic manner. I half expected her to recite some ancient incantation. When the high priest had selected two cigars, he pressed a folded bill neatly into the woman’s right palm. She closed the box.
Larry ran a cigar under his nose, taking in an exaggerated breath.
“All right, Larry, what’s going on?”
He laughed a little self-satisfied laugh, clipping the end off a cigar and handing it to me. He repeated the motion and used the outside of his pinkie to sweep loose bits of tobacco off the white tablecloth. Katy and the waiter arrived back at our table simultaneously.
The drinks served, the cigars lit, I noticed Larry’s escort had seemingly vanished in a haze of smoke. The tension was gone. Larry reached into his pocket and placed a small, unwrapped box on the table in front of him.
“This,” he said, sliding the box toward me, “is yours if you want it. No strings attached.”
Though it was nauseatingly clichéd, I picked up the box, placing it to my ear. Then, almost involuntarily, I shook it. I think I knew exactly what it was the second I felt its weight. I had a replica of one in my sock drawer at home.
“Open it, for chrissakes!” Larry prodded, cigar smoke gushing from his mouth.
My hand trembled. I immediately put the box on the table and hid my hands beneath the tablecloth.
“Open it, Moe,” Katy urged, curiosity getting the better of her.
My hands somewhat settled, I placed one on the box and slid it to Katy. “You go ahead.”
She removed the lid without a moment’s hesitation and gasped. Katy’s too-thin lips formed a smile fraught with a sense of deep-seated satisfaction. It was the kind of smile you smile not for yourself, but for your kids, or for your team when they pull off an impossible comeback. Katy slid the box back in front of me.
Inside was a hunk of gold-plated metal in the shape of a glittering nine-pointed star. Within the rim of the star was a field of cobalt blue enamel. At the center of the rich blue enamel was more gold in the guise of a Dutchman and an Indian standing on either side of an eagle perched atop a coat of arms. The words CITY OF NEW YORK POLICE formed a gilt-lettered horseshoe around the central symbol. Beneath the symbol was another word: DETECTIVE. In a rectangle below was the number 353.
“The pay ain’t great and the hours suck, but it’s yours for the asking,” Larry rephrased his earlier offer. “You can take Gloria’s spot in Missing Persons. If that doesn’t move you, you can work a precinct or inside with me. It’s your call. In me, you got a rabbi and a Dutch uncle all wrapped up into one.”
I heard a voice that sounded like mine say: “Thanks, Larry. I … I don’t know what to—”
“Don’t give me an answer now,” he said, squeezing my shoulders. “There’s no rush. I know it’s a surprise and you’re running a successful business and everything. I’m sure you and Katy and you and that brother of yours got a lot to talk about. Call me in the next few days and we’ll discuss pay and grade and benefits and that crap.”
“This on the up-and-up, Larry?”
“Just as if you got that promotion they fucked you out of in ‘72 when you found the little girl.”
“But my knee, the pension stuff.”
“Hey, didn’t Rabbi Larry just tell you he’d take care of it? If you didn’t notice, schmuck—sorry, Katy—you solved a case involving a cop’s daughter. A case no one in this town wanted to touch with a ten-foot pole. You made a lot of people happy, Moe, a lot of people. Forget Geary and Brightman, everybody from the Queens DA to the mayor got mileage off this. Why shouldn’t you get what you’ve always wanted? Believe me, buddy, I had no problem smoothing out the bumps to get you that shield.”
“Thank you, Larry,” Katy said, reaching for my hand. “You’re right. We have a lot to talk about.”
I pushed the box toward Larry Mac.
He winked, pushing it back. “You hold on to that. Try it on for size.”
We finished our drinks in a sort of peculiar silence. Standing up to leave, I noticed that my barely smoked cigar had put itself to sleep. Larry had meant it to be a kind of victory cigar to celebrate my return to the job. It was good, I thought, that I hadn’t smoked it. There was nothing to celebrate, not yet.
THE SILENCE FOLLOWED us from the Blind Steer home to Sheepshead Bay. Katy understood without needing to be told that there was nothing simple or easy about the decision with which I was now faced.
To the casual observer, even to some participants, all silences can seem equal. But there are differences in silence as there are in darkness. The absence of sound or light reveals little about what has caused the silence or the dark. There is a difference between a broken bulb and a moonless night, no? So it was with my silence. Katy understood one piece of it, the piece I gave her access to. There were, however, layers and textures in my silence to which she was not privy. Once before, in 1978, at a restaurant in Bay Ridge, I’d been offered a detective’s shield. And though there was much about the current offer that bore no relation to that situation, there were certain undeniable similarities impossible for me to ignore.
Rico Tripoli, the closest friend I ever had or was ever likely to have, had brought me into the case of Katy’s missing brother. At the time, it seemed like a perfect fit. Both parties, the Maloneys and myself, were just desperate enough to take a chance on each other. The Maloneys had exhausted all conventional options in the search for their son. As for me, I was just retired, in terrible pain from my second surgery, and flat out of ideas on how to raise the money for my share of the business. I think I would have tried almost anything. But Rico, as it happened, hadn’t brought me in to find Patrick at all. No, I had been brought in to play the foot, to be used as a conduit to leak information that would ruin my father-in-law. Ultimately, I managed to both find Patrick and ruin his father’s career, accomplishing the latter without exposing his family to the pain and embarrassment my users had intended for
me to unleash.
Understand this, I despise my father-in-law, Francis Maloney Sr. He is a cruel, calculating bastard who, through God’s mysterious grace, helped create my wife. I haven’t lost a second’s sleep in five years over his loss of political sway, nor would I shed a tear on the day of his death. But the notion that my best friend, a man whom I had trusted with my life, had set me up and betrayed our friendship for career advancement has plagued me every day since. Rico’s handlers had wanted to gift me with a shield for my keeping my mouth shut and a job well done, kind of like rewarding a dog with a treat for giving his paw and rolling over. I took a pass. I didn’t do tricks.
In spite of the quiet in the car, it was noisy in my head. I kept telling myself that this time it was different, that Larry wasn’t like our old precinct mate, Rico, that he was high enough on the totem pole not to sell me out. I told myself that it was different this time because I had done good for the right reasons, like when I found Marina Conseco. Not because I felt guilty or threatened, but in spite of those things. Sure, luck had played a part. It always does.
It wasn’t luck I was worried about. I was worried about me. That, I decided, was what this apprehension and jitteriness was all about, not the past, not betrayal. Was I up to it? Could I handle the job after so long away? For years I had wanted that shield so badly I could taste it. Now, with all that had gone on, the miscarriage, the second store, did I really want it anymore? My father-in-law, of all people, had once warned me to watch out what I wished for. Did wishes, I wondered, have a shelf life? How long after you stopped wishing could they come true?
Chapter Fourteen
I SLEPT LIKE a baby. There were no ominous dreams in which Larry morphed into Rico or the cigar girl into Brightman’s wife. There were no dueling pistols in the humidor, nor was my father-in-law dressed like a jester. He did not cackle or forewarn. I don’t think I dreamed at all.
When I got up, Katy talked around Larry’s offer. Eventually we’d get around to discussing it, but there was little doubt she would tell me to follow my heart. As it had once led me to her, she knew to trust it. She also understood I needed to speak to Aaron first of all. Dealing with my big brother would be a more complicated affair. Beyond the obvious issue of our business partnership, he had never really approved of my being a cop. It was Aaron who breathed the biggest sigh of relief when I was put out to pasture. I had every reason in the world to believe he would not be so accommodating as my wife if I chose to go back.
“I’m going to—”
“I know where you’re going, Moe. Kiss your brother for me.”
I was around the corner from City on the Vine when fire engine sirens began blaring. I pulled to the right. So did the guy behind me, but instead of pressing his brake pedal he used my back bumper to slow his forward momentum. Several decades past the age when I considered cars something worth fighting over, I got out of the driver’s seat calm as could be. Besides, it had only been a hard tap. Unfortunately, the guy who hit me was in his early twenties and in no mood to deal with reality or responsibility.
“Why the fuck you stop so short? What the fuck you—”
I put my palms up. “Whoa. Take it easy.”
“Don’t fucking tell me to take it easy,” he barked, leaning over the nose of his car. “Look at this shit.”
Frankly, I didn’t see what shit he was talking about. Beyond the old dings and dents in my bumper, there didn’t seem to be any fresh damage. His bumper, though pretty well flush to mine, did not appear any the worse for wear.
“I’ll pull up a few feet,” I said, turning toward the front of my car.
He grabbed my arm. “Wait a second, motherfucker. You ain’t running on me.”
He had just taken two big steps over my patience threshold. I yanked my arm toward the point where his thumb and index finger met, easily freeing myself, grabbed my old badge out of my back pocket, and shoved it into his face.
“How’s your eyesight, asshole? Can you seen that well enough?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I—”
“This moment here is when you shut up. Like I said, I’m going to pull up a few feet so we can see if there was any real damage done.”
This time, he didn’t grab me. Even if he was so inclined, he was too busy rubbing his face to make sure my badge hadn’t left a permanent impression. I inched the car forward. When I returned to the back of my car, the other guy was on his knees now rubbing his front bumper instead of his face.
“Everything looks okay,” he said sheepishly. “Why don’t we just forget about this, okay?”
Then he mumbled some other words that seemed to run together. Something funky was going on with my ears. It was just like that day in Joe Spivack’s office. I noticed distinct sounds rising out of the din: a jackhammer, the squeal of truck brakes, a guy begging quarters and cursing people when they said no. Then it all fused together.
“Hey, hey, Officer,” he prodded, gently shaking my arm. “You okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” I said.
“What you staring at? Your eyes look kinda weird. You bang your coconut or something? You sure you don’t want me to call an ambulance?”
“Your license plate,” I mumbled.
“What about it?”
“The Garden State,” I read aloud.
“New Jersey, yeah. So what?”
“NJ. Do me a favor, name some towns in Jersey.”
“Look, Officer, I said I was sorry. There’s no need to fuck with me. I—”
“Do it!” I shouted.
“Paterson, Marlboro, Newark, Trenton, Camden, Cherry Hill, Hoboken, Alp—”
“Hoboken, HNJ. Thanks, buddy.” I shook his hand and gave him a business card. “You ever need a favor, you gimme a call.”
He looked at the card. “I thought you were a cop.”
“I can’t make up my mind.”
I got back in my car and found the parking lot Aaron and I kept reserved spots in.
Aaron tilted his head at me like a confused dog. “It’s your day off. What the hell are you doing here?”
“I have to make a call.”
“You feeling all right, Moe? You came all the way to the Upper West Side on your day off to make a call? Everything okay with you and Katy?”
I took the box that held NYPD detective shield 353 out of my jacket pocket and handed it to my big brother. “I came to talk to you about that, but just at the moment I need to make a call.”
“Don’t let me stop you. You own half the place.”
Instead of continuing to the office, I stopped to look around. Sure, I still came to this store once or twice a month, but in some sense I had moved on. Bordeaux in Brooklyn was my store now. I walked back up front and brushed my fingertips against the five- and ten-dollar bills from our first sales. And mounted just below the bills, a picture of our dad, his tentative smile an impossibly inadequate armor against the pain of his failures.
“He’d be proud, wouldn’t he? Of us, I mean.” I turned to Aaron.
“Of course he would.”
Certainly more proud than he was of my career as a cop. Like Aaron, my dad had disapproved. I always suspected the watch my parents gave me when I graduated the academy was mostly my mother’s doing.
Now Aaron was completely perplexed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“That’s a popular question today.”
“And what am I supposed to do with this?” He held up the shield.
“Hold on to it while I make that call. I’ll be in the back.”
Judith Resnick was surprised, but not at all displeased to hear my voice. If nothing else, she joked, I deserved a commendation for persistence.
“How would you like some work?” I asked.
“Work’s what we’re here for. Believe it or not, Moe, I don’t sit around here all day just waiting for your calls. What you got?”
“Finally something besides questions. I think I know what HNJ1956 stands for. H is the fir
st letter of the name of a town and the NJ stands for New Jersey. The 1956 is self-explanatory. At least, I hope it is.”
“Now that’s information I can do something with,” she said, brightening. “How’d you figure it out?”
“A license plate.”
“But I thought you said—”
“Judith, it’s a long story not worth telling. Take my word for it.” Then I reminded her about the kid and the bicycle, how that might help narrow the search.
“There’s a lot of towns in New Jersey that start with an H, Moe: Hackensack, Hoboken, Hasbrouck Heights, Ho-ho-kus, Hillside…. Even if I were to charge you rates from ten years ago, it would still cost a lot more than a hundred and fifteen bucks. So where does that leave your theory?”
“There’s a big difference. The woman who paid for the initial search knew what town she was looking for. I don’t.”
“Good point.”
“I can send you a check right now to get the search going and pay the balance when you’re done. Does that work for you?”
“That’s fine, Moe. I’m going to get some of my people started on it immediately.”
“How much of a deposit do you want?”
“To start off, a hundred and fifteen bucks sounds about right.”
I liked Judith. She sounded almost as into this as I did, and all she had was money at stake. I didn’t even have that. All I had was curiosity. I hoped that would be worth something in the end.
There was a knock on the office door.
It was my brother. “You off the phone yet?”
“Yeah, who wants to know?”
“NYPD, Detective Prager,” Aaron burst in, holding up the shield like on TV. “Confess, punk.”
“Or what, you gonna start discussing the relative merits of varietal grapes?”
The James Deans Page 16
