"Yes. And he was a great mechanic," I’d already told her a little about it the night before. "But he was terrible at running a business. That's why I'm in business school now. I don't wanna make the same mistakes."
"Oh, so that's the business you're going into for yourself? I should've made that connection."
"Yes. It’s the only thing I wanna do."
"That's really cool. Most of the people in our major just want the big corporate American dream."
"Not me. I couldn't care less about that. I hate suits."
"Yeah, me too," she said. "Besides, you'd have to cut your hair. That would be tragic." She frowned.
"So you dig the hair, huh?"
"Mmmmm." She growled and gave me a quick glance.
"So what are your big plans after graduation?" I asked.
"I want to go on and get my Master's next year, and hopefully pass the CPA exam before I finish graduate school. I might try to get a real accounting job somewhere for a year or so to get my certification. Then I think I might go to cosmetology school."
"Really? Why would you go to all the trouble of getting your Master's and your CPA only to go back to school for something totally different? Do you want to go in business for yourself, too?"
"I've always loved hair and makeup. Actually, it's between that and aesthetics school. I'd love to know more about skin care."
"Wow, you're gonna have some huge student loans!" I said.
"Not necessarily," she said.
"Did your parents have a big life insurance policy or something?" I knew it was none of my business but the question slipped out before I could stop it. "Sorry to be so nosy. I can't help but notice you seem to have money and I never hear you talk about having a job."
"It's okay. My dad actually did have an insurance policy through the company he worked for. But a hundred thousand split between three kids doesn't go that far."
"Three kids? I thought you were an only child for some reason." I just assumed, since she'd never mentioned any siblings when she talked about her parents and Aunt Lydia.
"No. I have an older sister and a younger brother. We're not close."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be. It's just how some families are. I was always the black sheep. I never felt like I belonged with the family I was born with. Seriously, I wonder if I was switched at birth. I don't even look like any of them. We haven't spoken in years. So you're close to your family?"
Dang, I wondered why she hadn't spoken to her only two siblings in years, especially with their parents being dead. She didn't seem very upset about it.
"Yeah. My little brother and sister are great,” I said. “So’s my mom. And we live around a lot of extended family." I didn't want to ruin my night by talking about my family. The truth was, as much as I loved my family, it was nice to be away from them. Especially Mom.
"I can't imagine that. We hardly knew our extended family. I got to know my aunts and uncles mostly after my parents died. I think it's cool that you're close to your family. I bet you have some major holiday parties coming up.”
"Yes. They're a big deal." I wondered if I could talk her into coming to my house for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Maybe she'll be my girlfriend by then. “And by the way, my dad's insurance policy is the reason I'm in school and not working. That's the one thing he did right. My brother and sister and I will at least have college paid for."
"That's nice. I feel bad for people who have to split their time between a full time job and full time school."
I hoped she would tell me why she didn't have to work, but she didn’t.
"Okay, we're here!" She made a left turn into a parking lot. "My stomach is about to eat itself. I've been craving these pancakes for days."
We pulled into a parking space at the front door. The walls were of the truck stop were all glass. The diner looked practically empty.
She scanned the inside before opening her door. "Aww, crap." She sounded annoyed. "See those two guys in the corner back there?"
There were two hairy, heavyset older gentlemen sitting together at a table, laughing and appearing to have a great time. They wore flannel shirts and trucker hats.
"Uh huh," I replied.
"Their names are Boomer and Jim-Jim."
I started laughing so hard I almost hurt myself. How could she say those names with a straight face?
"Okay," I said, trying to calm down.
"I've known them for so long I forgot how funny it is. They hang out here a lot. Usually not at night." She looked inside the restaurant, her lips pursed. "Damn, if I didn't want those pancakes so bad… . anyway, something happened a couple months ago. Boomer was drunk and followed me out to my car and… well, I really don't want to talk about it. I'll just say, there was inappropriate touching. Somebody came out to my rescue."
"I'm so sorry." I felt bad for laughing.
"Really, it's okay. I'm not scarred for life or anything. But - I do need you to be my boyfriend during our time here tonight." She looked at me, pleading. Like it would really bother me?
"Sure!" I tried not to be too enthusiastic but I couldn't help it. It could be a test run. Maybe she'll get used to the idea.
We got out of the car. I quickly took her hand and we walked to the door. It was nice to feel like her protector.
The waitress greeted us enthusiastically. "Well, Susie Q! How are you doing, sweetheart?"
"I'm great, Sherry. I've missed you!" They hugged. "I was hoping you'd be here."
Sherry was an attractive woman for her age, with dark hair pulled up in a bun. She looked like she was in her early 40's or late 30’s. She wore an old-fashioned waitress dress with an apron, and a badge that said "Smile! Jesus loves you."
"I didn't think you'd come back here," Sherry whispered.
"No, it's okay. But I will be a little more careful from now on."
Sherry nodded in agreement. "So, just the two of you?"
"Yes."
She led us to our booth at least ten tables away from the unsavory gentlemen.
"So, what's your name, handsome?" Sherry asked as I sat down.
"Tyler." I shook her hand. "Nice to meet you."
"Pleasure's all mine." She winked. “What can I get you to drink?"
"Coffee, with a glass of ice," I said.
"Oh!" She looked at Susie and touched her on the shoulder. "No wonder! You've found the one, girl!" She and Susie grinned at each other. She left to get our drinks.
"What did she mean by that?" I asked.
"Iced coffee is what I always order no matter what time of year it is. And she always teases me about it."
"Wow, that's a coincidence. I had no idea my girlfriend and I had so much in common," I took her hand across the table and held it. I was determined to make the most of this.
"Yep. Perfect match." She squeezed my hand and looked down at the table at the menu. "So, get whatever you want. It's on me, okay? It was my idea to come here and you're doing me a big favor."
Damn, woman. You think this is a chore or something?
"I won't argue with you." I figured I was better off that way. "I want a huge cheeseburger. I'm so hungry."
"So you're ready? She's already on her way back."
Sherry appeared with a carafe of coffee and what looked like a big bucket of ice. She sat them both on the table, along with two large glasses.
"Thank you!" Susie smiled at Sherry. I loved how happy she seemed over such little things. She was no diva, this girl.
"Sure thing. So, you two ready?" Sherry took a pencil out of her pocket.
"Tyler?" Susie asked.
"Ummm… a cheeseburger… ."
"Which one? We have quite a few." Sherry said.
Susie answered her after I stared intently at the menu for a few seconds too long. "You know what, Sherry? I think I may have to order for both of us. We don't have time to look at the menu. Our stomachs have been saying 'feed me' for too long."
"Oh, I see. Worked up an app
etite did you?" Sherry cackled. Susie looked at me and blushed, then laughed with Sherry. I just shook my head and grinned, hoping I wasn't one in a long list of men Susie had brought in here who were also hungry after having sex with her for an hour and a half.
"I think Tyler would like this big bacon cheeseburger right here. With fries, perhaps?" She looked up at me every few seconds as she ordered, gauging my approval. "And also we'll have these fried mozzarella sticks. Anything else?"
"No, I think that's good," I answered. She picked exactly what I would've wanted. But I was so hungry I wanted everything.
"Okay, and I'll have the pancakes."
"Great!” Sherry said. “I'll make sure the kitchen isn't slackin’ off back there. It should be ready soon."
As Sherry walked away, I noticed one of the hairy guys looking at us.
"Weren't you gonna say hi, girl?" He yelled across the room.
"Hi!" Susie waved. "How are you?"
"Alright I guess. Been better. How’re you? Who's the fella?"
"He's my boyfriend."
"Dang, I missed my chance." He got up and lumbered toward us, stopping several feet away. Then he stopped, glaring at me. "Boy, that's a fine piece of ass you got there." He pointed toward Susie. "And don't you forget it."
"I won't. Thanks." I didn't know what else to say. He turned and hobbled back to his table to sit with his friend.
"Don't worry," she whispered. "He doesn't really know that. It's all speculation."
I suppressed a laugh. "So, I'm guessing it was the other guy who assaulted you?"
"Yeah. He's not saying much. Good thing."
We focused our attention on the ice and coffee before us, adding lots of cream and sweetener.
"I'm so glad you like iced coffee!" she said. "People always comment and think I'm so weird."
"Yeah, me too. It's even worse because I'm a guy."
"Oooohh… yeah, I bet it is,” she said, wincing as she stirred her coffee. Then she looked up at me. "I have the cutest boyfriend." She puckered her lips and kissed at me across the table.
"I have the prettiest girlfriend.” I touched the top of her hand. "Who's also a fine piece of ass."
"Damn right!" She nodded and lightly pounded her fist on the table.
"So, why are you so against having a boyfriend, anyway?" I thought it might be a good time to casually ask that question. It was different from asking to be her boyfriend.
"I don't know. I don't see the point."
"Well, most single women I know want a boyfriend. Why don't you?"
"Tyler…" She exhaled loudly and looked into my eyes, then down at the table. I wasn't sure she was going to continue. I wondered if she sensed what I was feeling and knew it was time to address the elephant in the room. "I'm weird. Okay?"
"How? So, you're weird. I'm weird. We're all weird,” I said.
"No, I'm different. There are things you don't know about me." She took a drink of her coffee.
"And how would that change anything? Tell me why you think you're weirder than anybody else. I really want to know."
She looked down at the table again, showing no emotion. Finally she took a deep breath and bit the inside of her cheek a little. I took notice of every nuance of her facial expressions, hoping they would tell me something.
"I do everything backwards," she said. "I mean, look at us. I just met you yesterday. We bypassed any kind of emotional intimacy and went straight to," her eyes widened, "the couch. Is that normal? No, it's not. But it's my normal."
I didn't know what to say. She was kind of right. My heart sank.
She continued. "A wise person once told me if something starts out on a high, it has nowhere to go but down. Yeah, sex is great. Really, really great." She reached across the table and rubbed my hand. "But it gets old after a while. It's nothing to build a relationship on. After a while you stop doing it as much. You realize you don't have anything else in common. You both move on."
I still didn't know what to say. I had no way to argue with her. Maybe she was right. I wondered if she had experienced this for herself. I felt more sad and disappointed with each new word coming out of her mouth.
"I wish I had it in me not to have sex with someone right away. I wish I could just wait. Maybe even find a guy and wait until we're married. I know people who've actually done that and I have a lot of respect for them. But it's not me." She stopped and looked out the window for probably ten seconds, then continued. "I think I get off on the fact that it's wrong. I'm not supposed to do it." She took another long drink of coffee. "And also, I know tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. I like to live each day like it's my last… to an extent. If I really felt like it was my last day, I probably wouldn't spend so much time applying night cream, or moisturizer with sunscreen in it." She looked very serious all of a sudden. "I try to plan for the future a little. I want to prevent wrinkles and sun damage."
I laughed hysterically. It was funny that she was more serious about skin care than anything else she'd just mentioned.
"Susie," I said, calming down. "Did someone break your heart? Is that why you only have flings?"
She looked surprised. "It's not that. It's just that I don't have much to offer anyone besides sex." She shrugged. "Why in the world would someone wanna be with me after the sex high wears off? I'm not that interesting. I'm not a good cook. I don't really have any goals in life except to do whatever I feel like doing. I like video games, having fun with my friends, partying, and not being told what to do. I'm not relationship material. Could you see all that in an online dating ad?"
I started to speak but she continued. "Oh, and also, what if I'm just addicted to the ‘sex high’? What if I have a relationship and get bored after it wears off?"
I had a lot to say and I was glad she ended with a question. "Well, for one thing, how would you even know if you were capable of getting bored? Have you ever given a guy a chance to have more than a fling with you?"
She rolled her eyes. "Not really."
"Well then, maybe you shouldn't make those kinds of assumptions about yourself. It sounds to me like you're just really scared. And also very stubborn and rebellious."
Her eyes narrowed. It looked like she was forcing a mean look. I think she was trying to be playful but I believed there was a lot of truth to the words I spoke.
"Furthermore," I said, "I have no idea why you have such a low opinion of yourself. You're funny. You're easy to talk to. You like video games, which is a good thing to most guys. You’re outgoing and have lots of friends. You're intelligent. You're interesting. I don't know any other women your age who own an old police car and a Mercedes."
She smiled and quietly laughed at my last sentence as she picked up her coffee to have a drink.
I was glad she gave me time to talk. "You have everything. Really. You're not like other girls, and that's good."
"Is it really though? Don't most guys want someone who's wholesome and domestic? Who would make a good mother? Who aspires to be…… something?” She shrugged.
I took a second to think about it. "You have a good point. A lot of guys do want that. But a lot of guys want something different. They want somebody who won't try to change them. Someone who’s fun and unique, who makes his life more interesting just by being around her." I took a sip of my coffee quickly, hoping she wouldn't jump in and cut me off. "And how do you know you wouldn't be a good mother?"
I wanted to cross that line - tell her I liked her just the way she was. There was nothing I would change about her. I heard Joan's voice in my head telling me to hold back - and also telling me I didn't know her well enough to say I loved her already. I just knew I wanted her and that I could fall in love with her. But I was pretty sure I was already there.
I didn't know if she could sense what I was feeling or what. Her face became sober, as did her tone of voice. She leaned forward across the table, looking deep into my eyes.
"Tyler, I'm not someone a guy can take home to meet his mother. There are t
hings about me you really don't know, that I am not going to tell you. I could never run for public office. Trust me. Most guys would run off - screaming - when they find out who I really am."
So that was the real reason.
There was some kind of dark secret about her past that she was desperate to hide. She used the silly stuff - video games and not being able to cook - as a way of covering the real issue. I wanted to know more. But what if she was right? What if there was something about her that would make me change my mind? It didn't seem possible. Had she broken the law? Gotten away with something terrible? I couldn't imagine she would be capable of something as bad as what I was thinking. And I also couldn’t imagine there being a reason bad enough to make me stop wanting her.
The food came right then. I was glad because my stomach had gotten louder over the last few minutes. I was too engrossed in our conversation to pay attention to it.
We both shoveled food in our mouths immediately. I was grateful for such huge portions. I was so hungry, I felt like I could eat both her food and mine.
Maybe Joan can tell me Susie's secret.
I could tell I had broken through to a place she didn't show many people. I got through her first wall of defense. I wondered how many of the other guys had been able to do that - or even tried. I was pretty proud of myself. It hasn't even been two days and I've made progress. I wondered if I should keep trying to find out more that night or quit while I was ahead.
Susie and I had sat there eating silently for a while. It was like we'd never seen food before. Then Sherry came back to the table to check on us.
"So, how are the kids? I can't believe it's been so long. I'm sorry," Susie said.
"It's alright. I could've called you. I knew you were busy with school though. It’s really only been a couple of months."
"Well, still, I'm a crappy friend. How are the kids doing in school so far?"
"They're alright. Ronnie's on the baseball team. They're both doing pretty good." Sherry nodded.
"Is your mom still doing alright?"
"Yep. She's a fighter. She's back to her old self."
"I'm so glad to hear that! How are you doing?"
"Girl… just let me know if you and your friends are having a girls' night out anytime soon. I need it. And I'd love to catch up with you."
Safe With Me, Part 2 Page 5
