Finally
My Heart's
Desire
By:
Brooke St. James
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the author.
Copyright © 2015
Brooke St. James
All rights reserved.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue
Other titles available from Brooke St. James:
Finally My Forever (Meant for Me #1)
Another Shot:
A Modern-Day Ruth and Boaz Story
When Lightning Strikes
Something of a Storm (All in Good Time #1)
Someone Someday (All in Good Time #2)
Chapter 1
It was 10:30 on a cold December night when I arrived at my apartment. I'd been at a coffee shop with a few classmates studying for a final exam, which was only two days away. It was a difficult class, and we had pages and pages of notes to sort through just to get organized enough to study. It had been more tedious than any of us imagined, and my brain felt like mush in spite of (or maybe because of) the three cups of coffee I drank while I was there.
I saw my boyfriend's car when I pulled up, and I knew he had a key to my apartment, so it didn't surprise me when I opened my door to find him sitting on the couch watching TV. He stood the second I walked in, looking in my direction. He looked behind me with a frustrated, accusatory glare, and I could tell he was checking to see if someone was with me.
"Hey Robin," I said as if I didn't notice his mood. I had a heavy messenger bag full of books strapped over my shoulder, and I shrugged out of it and my purse and let them both sink to the floor next to my feet. I dropped my keys on top of them before kicking off my shoes in an exhausted fashion.
"Where have you been?" he asked, taking a few steps toward me.
"I told you I was going to study with Maria and Chelsea."
"Why haven't you answered my texts?" he asked. He seemed agitated—like he thought I was lying, which was crazy.
I was exhausted and spent, and really didn't feel in the mood to explain myself. I began to make my way to the kitchen with every intention of walking around him. "I had a hard time studying for this test, and I haven't even looked at my phone," I said, gesturing back at my purse where it was located. I sighed and let my shoulders slump when I approached him to emphasize how exhausted I was. Instead of making my way around him, I stood right in front of him, hoping he'd hug me and tell me that all the hard work would be worth it once I aced my test.
He took me by the shoulders, but instead of embracing me like I hoped he would do, his fingers dug into my arm painfully. The bruising force took me by surprise, and I glanced up at him confused. His grey-blue eyes that I loved so much were cold and angry as he glared at me. His cheeks were flushed with what I thought was anger, but when he spoke again I could tell he had been drinking.
"You had me freaked out, Emily!" He spit the words out, making me flinch.
"I told you I was going to the coffee shop to study," I said, defensively. I tried to squirm out of his grasp, but that only made him tighten it.
"That was at five o'clock!" he said through gritted teeth. "You can't expect me to believe it takes that long to study for your little test."
"It's not a little test, Robin, it's a final. And please let me go, you're hurting me."
Again, I tried to twist out of his grasp but he held me tighter. The arms burned, and the muscles shifted painfully as his fingertips dug into me. I was unable to stop myself from crying.
"You're hurting me!" I said, nearly yelling.
At my words, he shook me with such force that my head whipped backwards forcing my teeth to clack together.
"You need to learn how to answer your phone if you want me to trust you, Emily," he said, continuing to shake me the entire time he spoke.
The pain in my arms was so bad that my knees buckled. I would've dropped to the floor if he hadn't been holding me up.
"Stand up!" he said.
"I can't," I cried, helplessly. "You're hurting me."
He regarded his own hands as if wondering if the applied force was actually hurting me or not.
"Please let go," I whimpered.
And just like that, he did.
I stumbled backwards, struggling to regain my footing before regarding him again. I used the back of my hand to swipe the tears off my face. "What in the world is wrong with you, Robin?" I whispered.
He threw his hands in the air and regarded me with an expression that said he thought I might be crazy for asking such a question. "What's wrong with me?" he asked incredulously. "I've been sitting here for two hours. At first I was worried about you, but when you wouldn't text me back, what else was I supposed to do but assume you were with another guy?" He paused and regrouped before cocking his head at me, letting some tenderness show through for the first time since I arrived. "I love you Emily. It makes me crazy to think of you with someone else."
"I was with Maria and Chelsea. I was at the coffee shop just like I said."
"You conveniently didn't tell me what coffee shop you were going to."
"Obviously that wasn't too convenient, Robin, because if you would've known where I was, you could have easily come up there and seen that I was up to my ears studying for my exam." I hugged myself, rubbing the place on my upper arms that was still burning and throbbing.
"You can't honestly think it's normal for someone in a committed relationship to be out and not answering her phone at 10:30 on a Monday night!"
I scoffed at him. "Are you kidding me? I don't even know what night or time it is! We just sorted through 100 pages worth of notes." I shook my head, showing him how disappointed I was. "I'm exhausted, Robin." I lifted my hands hopelessly so he could inspect my condition for himself. "I wouldn't go out looking like this." I stared downward, feeling disappointed that he thought I was capable of betraying him. "I wouldn't go out without you anyway."
"Are you in for the night?" he asked.
"Yes," I answered, gawking at him like he should have known the answer to that question.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said. He stepped toward me and gave me a quick hug before making his way to the door. It was so fast I barely had time to flinch at his touch. "Answer your phone next time," he said, looking over his shoulder with a slight smile.
I was so shocked by his change of mood that I just returned his smile and nodded at his demand. He seemed satisfied with my response and left without saying another word.
I cried when he left, but more from exhaustion and frustration than anything else. My arms hurt, but my tears were more from anger than pain.
I'd been dating Robin since I was 17 years old. It had been more than three years, and for the most part, we were good together. I knew he loved me, but he could be a little hot-tempered and overprotective at times, a condition which seemed to have gotten worse over the past year. He was born into one of the wealthiest families in Texas. The Bullers were oil billionaires, and Robin and his two sisters were accustomed to getting what they wanted when they wa
nted it.
He didn't like it when I was unpredictable. I should've known better than to ignore my phone the whole time I was at the coffee shop. I should've made time to check it. It was just that I had been overwhelmed with studying and forgot.
***
I had classes the next morning until noon. I had just finished with the last one and was walking with Chelsea across campus to my car when I spotted Robin sitting on a park bench that was in the middle of a courtyard near a fountain. He was sharply dressed as always, and he stood with a smile when he saw me catch sight of him.
"There's Robin," Chelsea said, nudging me. Her elbow hit my arm, reminding me of the painful bruises.
"I know," I said, doing my best not to cringe. "I saw him."
I slowed as I approached Robin, but Chelsea kept walking. "I'll see you tomorrow morning," she said waving at me.
I smiled and waved back. "Sounds good."
"Hi and bye, Robin!" she said with a big smile aimed at him.
He flashed her a dazzling, white smile. "See ya later, Chelsea," he said.
I walked toward him slowly, not quite making eye contact and wearing a tentative half-smile.
"Come here, baby," he said, holding his hands out. I looked at him to find that he was staring at me with a remorseful smile. He flexed his fingers, inviting me into his embrace. I came near him, letting him pull me in. "I'm so sorry I overreacted," he said, taking me into his arms and rubbing my back gently.
I sighed and let my face fall against his chest. "You hurt me," I whispered without looking at him.
He let out a sigh as if he was frustrated with himself. "What did I hurt?"
"My neck is really sore, and you bruised my arms."
"I didn't even touch your neck," he said, pulling back to stare down at me with a look of concern.
"Yeah, but you shook me."
He drew me close to him, tenderly stroking my back again. "I didn't do it hard," he said. "You're probably just sore from studying so much."
I knew if I disagreed with him it would just make him feel worse than he already did, so I kept quiet.
"I'm sorry, baby," he said. "I was so worried about you it made me crazy."
He continued to stroke my back and hair with such a gentle touch that it was hard to believe it was the same guy from last night.
"You can't do that when you get mad, Robin," I whispered. "You need to talk it out with me before you react. It's like you think I'm going to cheat on you or something, which isn't going to happen."
"I'm sorry," he repeated. " I thought about it after I left, and I knew I should've gotten your side of the story first." He pulled a box out of his pocket and handed it to me. "This is to show you how bad I feel," he said. "I want to set things straight. If this isn't enough to make it up to you, I'll take you shopping and get you something else."
"You don't have to buy me anything," I said, pushing the box away.
"Please," he whispered, gently pressing it into my hand. "It's the least I can do." He paused, staring down at me sincerely. "I love you, Emily. Please let me make up for being stupid last night."
I bit my lip, considering how I felt about taking such a gift. I pulled back enough to open it and stared down into the box. It was a diamond solitaire necklace hanging from a delicate gold chain. I didn't even want to think about how much it cost. It was a perfect, round-cut diamond that must have been at least two or three karats. It was bigger than any diamond my mom had ever owned, and I closed the box and began shaking my head. "It's too much," I said, trying to hand it back to him.
He laughed as he dodged my hand. I loved to see him laughing. He was so handsome when he was happy. "Seriously, baby," he said, pushing my hand away gently. "It's the least I could do. Please take it. It'll make me feel better."
I looked at him as I clutched the closed box. "Please talk to me before you get angry next time," I said.
"I will, I promise," he said, looking ashamed of himself. "I love you."
"I love you too," I said, letting him draw me into his arms again.
He squeezed me and sighed as if he was relieved to have won me back. My upper arms ached under the pressure of his embrace, but he seemed so sincere and relieved that I hated to mention it.
"Let me take you to lunch," he said.
I smiled at him. "I'd like that. But you should know, my final is tomorrow and I have plans to study again tonight."
He regarded me as if wondering why I would think to mention that. "I figured you would," he said casually.
"I might be out a while."
He smiled, letting me know that wasn't a big deal.
"And I have that party this weekend," I reminded him.
That statement made him regard me curiously.
"Remember?" I said. "My brother's getting married, and I'm in the wedding. It's a get-together with his fiancé and her bridesmaids."
"Like a bachelorette party?"
"I mean, I guess you could call it that, but it's going to be really laidback since Carly's not really a partier."
"I thought your brother just met that girl. Why are they getting married already?"
I shrugged. "I have no idea. She's good for him, I think. Either way, she's having a get-together for the bridesmaids, and I'm expected to be there. I just wanted to remind you."
"When is that?"
"This Friday."
"And when's the wedding?" he asked.
"Next Saturday."
"What time?"
"Five in the afternoon," I said. "We already put it on your calendar."
"And what about this party on Friday?"
"What about it?"
"What time?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I think we're getting together for dinner at seven. I'm not sure what we'll do after that, but it might be late if we see a movie or something."
His expression was unreadable as he let out a sigh, but then he smiled down at me. "I'm hungry," he said, using a finger to brush my cheek. "Let's go grab some lunch."
Chapter 2
I stared at myself in the mirror, thanking God it was winter and I had an excuse to wear a long sleeve shirt. It had been four days since Robin left bruises on my arms, and the greenish-purple splotches still remained. He had told me one other time that I bruise easily, but I thought the problem was that he really didn't know his own strength sometimes. It was times like this, when I regarded myself in the mirror with marks he left on me, that I wondered if I was making a mistake by being with him.
It seemed as if his outbursts had gotten a little more frequent lately, and sometimes that scared me. But he had never truly injured me, and he always felt terrible for letting his temper get the best of him. I'd like to say his money didn't have anything to do with me putting up with this behavior, but maybe it did. His apologies always came with an extremely elaborate gift to remind me of our future together, which would certainly be free from financial struggle.
I was contemplating all of this as I put on my make up for the get-together with Carly and the other bridesmaids. I imagined myself being the one who was getting married and pictured my future with Robin. It was hard to see myself without him.
I thought about all the material things in my life he had provided. He was responsible for at least half of my wardrobe, all of my jewelry, and even my car. My parents were helping me with rent and college tuition, but Robin paid for just about everything else, which was why I didn't have to work while I was going to school. He seemed happy to do it, and I had always been content to let him, but episodes like the one last Monday night made me have doubts.
I honestly didn't know how I could make it without him, though. He provided so much, and I just assumed we would get married and he would continue to do so for the rest of our lives. I didn't set out to be dependent on a man, but when you end up with someone who has billions and is willing to throw money at you, it just sort of happens that way.
I stared at my own reflection in the mirror and told myself to go put o
n a sweater so I could try to forget about these bruises and the doubts they brought to mind. My long, dark hair had been in a ponytail while I put on my make up, but I pulled it loose and bent at the waist to run my fingers through it while hanging upside down. I stood again, and regarded myself, feeling satisfied that my long hair now hung over my shoulders, distracting me from my arms. I gave myself a quick smile in the mirror before heading to my bedroom where I grabbed a sweater from the foot of the bed and pulled it over my head.
I was supposed to meet everyone else at my parents' house, so I headed over there even though I was thirty minutes early. I hadn't seen them all week, and I didn't have anything else going on, so going over there was a better option than sitting around in my quiet apartment.
No one was in the living room when I arrived, so I went straight to the kitchen where I found my mother, who was in her usual spot, stirring a pot on the stove.
"It smells good," I said. She turned to me with a huge smile. "Oh, hey baby. I thought you were your dad coming in."
"Where is dad?" I asked, looking around.
She put down her spoon and came over to hug me. "Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed, slack-jawed. She stared at my neck with wide eyes before reaching out to touch my new necklace. "This is so beautiful!" She inspected it so closely that I turned my shoulders from side to side to let her get a better view. "It's from Robin, I assume," she said, reaching out to pick it up.
"Yes ma'am," I said.
"It's magnificent, and it looks beautiful with this sweater." She set it back on my chest and regarded me curiously. "Was that a just because gift?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I guess so. Where are dad and Thomas?"
"I'm making black bean soup and Thomas wanted sour cream to go with it. Your dad brought him to the store to get some. They should be back any second."
My parents' kitchen had an island lined with barstools, and mom gestured for me to sit down. I did as she said, and she took the barstool next to mine regarding me with a smile as if she was excited to catch up.
Finaly My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me Book 2) Page 1
