by J. Sterling
I swallowed hard. “You’d be surprised.”
We pulled off the freeway and headed toward my apartment complex. Like everything else this evening, the drive had gone by too fast.
“Oh, hey, I almost forgot,” I said before clearing my throat. “What was with all the quarters at the house? That’s what they were, right? Quarters?”
“Please don’t make me tell you what little I know about them,” Chance said, wincing.
I laughed. “Well, now, you have to.”
“It’s just something my dad does. He gives my mom quarters, and then she saves them all. He started doing it in college, and I don’t want to know the whole story because I know too much gross shit about them already.”
“Okay, I’ll give you a pass this time.”
“Thanks,” he said halfheartedly, and I realized that we were in my parking lot.
Chance pulled his Bronco to a stop, and I watched him hesitate before even looking at me. I knew that he was torn on how to handle this particular good-bye. Things between us seemed to only get more intense with time. I leaned toward him and pulled his body awkwardly into mine, thankful he was still wearing his seat belt. We hugged briefly before I pulled away, his green eyes boring into mine the way they always seemed to.
“Thanks for everything tonight. It was …” I struggled to find the right word as his lone dimple appeared.
“I still can’t believe my mom had all those pictures.”
“I can’t wait to go look at every single one,” I admitted as excitement coursed through me. There were so many pictures of my parents that I’d never seen before. I couldn’t wait to look at them and send them to my dad and tell him everything. I wished it weren’t so late in New York, so I could call him right away.
Chance reached out and touched my hand. My entire body flooded with heat. “Go. Before I try and do something we’ll both regret.”
I swallowed hard, torn between wanting him to do it and absolutely knowing that we shouldn’t. Reaching for the door handle, I pulled it open and hopped out. He waited until I got to the door of my building and went inside before he drove away. I grabbed my phone and typed out a text. I knew I was opening a door I’d struggle with closing again, but I did it anyway.
DANIKA: Good luck on your test tomorrow. I know you’ll do great!
His response was immediate, even though he was driving, and so Chance-like, teasing and torturous.
CHANCE: Is this what friends do?
Internal Conflict
Chance
The drive back to my place was brutal in a different kind of way. Danika’s scent lingered in my truck, and I found myself inhaling deeply as I tried to breathe her in. Like it might make her a part of me or something stupid like that. I officially lost my damn mind as I replayed the night—how great my parents had been with her, coupled with the look on Danika’s face when my mom had mentioned knowing hers. Her shock, disbelief, and sadness had all mixed together, and I would have done anything to take away her pain and anguish and replace it with something good. I hated knowing that she was hurting. My heart fucking ached, just thinking about it.
The fact that my parents had known hers felt like some sort of sick cosmic joke at first. Then, it felt like a connection that neither one of us could deny. Either the universe was making a giant-sized laughingstock out of us or it was trying its damnedest to bring us together. I honestly wasn’t sure which.
I could tell that Danika was conflicted as well. That the events of tonight had altered things between us. How could it not? It was too much to just be a coincidence. I was tempted to call my mom and ask her opinion, but I wasn’t ready to have my own thoughts dissected when I was still trying to figure them out myself.
Before I could overthink any more, I was home. Killing the engine, I locked the car doors and headed inside, no idea who or what might be waiting for me. You never knew who might be sticking around at the baseball house. Thankfully, the house was empty, except for a couple of the guys hanging out in the kitchen. I gave them a head nod before going into my room, half-expecting to see Mac sitting there, waiting for me. He was the only one who knew that I’d brought Danika home tonight.
Clearing her from my mind, I thought about my test in the morning. I really needed to start this class off right, or I’d be making it harder on myself for the rest of the semester. Tossing my bag on top of the desk in my room, I heard him approaching before he even said a word.
“Hey,” Mac said, and I waved him in without turning around, motioning for him to close the door behind him. “How was it? I’ve been dying here, waiting for you to get home.”
I laughed because at least Mac was honest even if he did give me all the ammunition that I needed to bust his balls on a daily basis.
“It was nice,” I answered, suddenly a little unsure of what to say or how much to confess. The night felt too personal. And not necessarily my story to tell.
“It was nice?” he mimicked my response.
“What the hell am I supposed to say? It wasn’t a date or anything.”
He groaned before reaching for a lone baseball on the floor and throwing it in the air before catching it. He repeated the motion. “I know it wasn’t a date, but did your family like her?” he asked, still tossing the ball instead of looking at me.
“They did.”
The ball landed in his hand with a loud pop. “That’s it?” He looked at me, his eyes inquisitive. “They liked her? Nothing else? Your mom isn’t picking out china patterns and planning the wedding or anything?”
I searched my mind for more memories of the night that I felt comfortable with sharing. “I think my sister likes her more than she likes me,” I offered, hoping it would sustain him.
“That’s ’cause game recognize game,” he said with a howl, and I stopped short.
“Excuse me?”
“Your sister is going to be a tough little badass who has guys eating out of the palm of her hand,” he started to explain, and my stomach twisted. I wanted to ban Jacey from even looking at another boy ever again. “And she knows it. She knows Danika has the same power. So”—he waved his hands in the air—“game recognize game.”
“You’re an idiot,” I said, chucking one of my dirty shirts at his head.
I laughed as he battled to swat it away, but it kept getting caught on his fingers instead. He eventually won the war with my shirt. It currently lay on the floor at his feet, and I watched as he kicked at it, just to make sure.
“I think you killed it.”
“It attacked me.”
“I noticed.”
“Did you talk to Cole?” Mac asked, and I remembered that I had missed a call from our old teammate earlier tonight.
“Shit. He called, but I didn’t pick up. What’s up? Is he okay?” I was suddenly worried.
What if Cole got released from his farm team? What if he got hurt?
“Yeah, he’s fine. He and Christina are in town, and he wants to stop by. But he wants you to be here, too, so he can see us both. You know, ’cause we’re his favorites.” Mac smiled like he’d won a prize at a fair.
“How could we not be?” I asked with a grin of my own. “Will you set it all up?” I asked because everyone knew that if they left coordinating details to me, it would never get done. I was shit at planning that kind of stuff; I always forgot.
“I’m already on it. I know you have that big test tomorrow, so I’ll let you go to sleep. I just wanted to see how the night went. And”—he snapped his fingers like he had remembered something—“I meant to ask about what her boyfriend said.”
“What he said about what?” I thought back to all the things Danika had revealed in the car ride home. And even though I wanted to hate the guy, how could I, knowing that he’d been there for her so selflessly?
“Her going to your house tonight. Did she tell him? Was he pissed? I bet he was pissed,” he started mumbling and saying things I couldn’t understand.
I shrugged. “She did
n’t tell him.”
“Whaaaaat?” he practically screamed. “How could she not tell him? You guys were gone for hours. No way that guy is anywhere close to that fucking chill.”
I’d almost forgotten all about Jared’s phone calls and text messages, and now, I was getting worked up, thinking that she might be in trouble with him because of it. I needed to reach out and make sure I hadn’t caused waves. I wanted her to know that I cared.
“She had her phone on silent. She texted him from the car on the drive home, and then he called, but she didn’t answer.”
Mac started laughing. “This is great. She goes home with you. Doesn’t tell her boyfriend. And then texts him before ignoring his call? Thank you for confirming the fact that she wants you just as badly as you want her.”
“Shut up.”
“Just saying.” He started backing out of the room.
“Go away.”
“Good luck on your test.”
“Thanks.”
“Good luck with the girl.”
“Good night.” I looked around for another article of clothing that I could have attack him on his way out of my room, but he slammed the door so hard in his attempt to escape that the pictures on the wall rattled.
Reaching for my phone, I sent Danika a text before I could stop myself. I wanted to make sure that she was okay and wasn’t in any trouble because of me. She responded right away with a smiley face and instructions to go worry about the test and not her. Which, of course, only made me do the exact opposite. It was one thing when it was my idea, but when it came to her telling me what to do, my mind didn’t work the same.
It rebelled.
And now, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and Jared. Him being at her house flooded my thoughts. Of course he’d be there, holding her, touching her, kissing her, fucking her. Because she was his. She belonged to him. They had history, a past … and who was I? Just some guy who had come along out of nowhere and meant nothing.
Fuck. This depressed version of me sucked. I hated it and wasn’t used to it.
I forced myself onto my bed, covered my face with my pillow, and tried my best to fall asleep.
I woke up, actually feeling refreshed. My night hadn’t been plagued with dreams or nightmares or anything that I could remember. When I reached for my phone, there was no text from Danika, wishing me good luck or anything. Not that she was even remotely required to do that kind of shit, but like an idiot, I’d assumed she would, and disappointment coursed through me because she hadn’t.
After a cold shower to wake up my senses, I grabbed a protein bar and headed out the door to hopefully pass my first math test.
Here goes nothing, I thought to myself before the test began, but the truth was that this first test was everything. It would set the tone for the rest of the semester. This test would determine if I was going to be struggling for the next couple of months or not. Passing would relieve a little bit of the stress, but failing would only amplify it.
I refused to fail. Danika had been tutoring me well the past month, and I understood way more than I ever had before. I was as ready as I’d ever be.
When I finished the test, I smiled to myself. Walking to the front of the class, I put my booklet in the basket, and the professor dismissed me. Once outside of the door, I pulled out my phone. There was still no text from Danika, but that didn’t stop me from texting her.
CHANCE: Test 1 done.
Her response was quicker than I anticipated.
DANIKA: How do you feel?
CHANCE: Good actually.
DANIKA: Do you have a break now?
CHANCE: I have about an hour before I need to be at the field.
DANIKA: Meet me in the comm?
CHANCE: See you in 5.
Telling Danika I had a free hour was a bit of an exaggeration. I only had about thirty-five minutes to spare, but I didn’t want her to feel rushed. If the girl was going to give me some of her time, I planned on taking it.
I spotted her standing outside of the glass doors, looking down at her phone. When she glanced back up, her entire expression changed, and even though I knew it was because she had seen me, I convinced myself that it wasn’t about me at all. I had to stop myself from practically cuing up music and running to her like we were in a sappy romance movie. Instead, I tried to play it cool, taking a swig of my water bottle and walking slow, but inside, I couldn’t get to her quick enough.
“Hey,” I said before wrapping her in my arms and hugging her.
She felt so good there. She fit.
“Someone’s excited,” she said as she pulled away, her cheeks rosy. “You think you passed?”
“I know I passed,” I answered with confidence before taking another drink.
“Do you think you aced it?” she asked seriously, and I almost spat out the water I’d been drinking.
“No.” I laughed. “I didn’t understand it that well. But I’ll be really surprised if I failed.”
Her face pulled together like she was in pain. “I’ll be devastated.”
“Are you hungry?” I asked because the commissary had all the food and I’d only downed one protein bar so far. I needed more protein before I worked out and hit the field.
“A little, yeah.”
“Let’s go feed you, Little Spitfire. My treat.”
“I’m not even going to argue with you, Hotshot. I mean, the independent girl in me wants to tell you I don’t need you to pay for my food, but I don’t feel like fighting with you today.”
“Good. You won’t win.”
It was still pretty early in the morning, so the commissary wasn’t as busy as it was during lunch, but there were enough people that I noticed them paying attention. You’d think that I’d be used to being watched on campus, but there were times when it was a little unnerving. Like now.
“People are watching us,” Danika whispered as we got in line.
“I noticed.”
She scanned the area before she turned her back to the tables and faced me in line. “Are they taking pictures? Of us?”
I glanced over her shoulder to a table where a few girls sat, their phones aimed in our direction while they pretended like they weren’t. “It’s possible.”
“I don’t want random people to take pictures of me, Chance.”
She looked so uncomfortable, and I didn’t know what to do.
How could I fix this or stop people from doing what they wanted to without creating a scene?
“I’m sorry,” I said as I focused on the girls and shook my head.
They all put their phones down and looked away, embarrassed. That had worked—for now.
“It’s just so weird. Don’t you think it’s weird that they act like that?”
I nodded in agreement as hard as I could. “Hell yes, I think it’s weird. I’m supposed to be used to it, but how do you get used to that?” I started to say before overexplaining, “I mean, it would be one thing if I were playing in the majors. I’d understand it then. But this is college. We’re all just a bunch of kids. I’m no different than anyone else.”
Danika giggled as she moved forward in line. “Well, that’s a lie.”
I scoffed, “Come again?”
“You heard me. You’re not like everyone else.”
Smiling, I asked, “So, you think I’m special?”
“Stop trying to flirt with me in public,” she said, completely calling me out.
Of course, it only made me want to do it that much more.
She took two steps forward and reached the counter, where she ordered before stepping to the side and letting me finish. And pay. I loved it—that alpha feeling of taking care of your woman. Only problem was that she wasn’t mine, and she most likely never would be.
“Are you okay?” Danika asked, her hand resting on my shoulder.
“Yeah. Why?”
“You just had an odd look on your face for a second.”
“Stop trying to flirt with me in public,”
I teased, hoping she’d drop the subject.
A tray of food popped on top of the glass counter, and I looked at the guy with a questioning expression. He gave me a nod, indicating that it was ours, and I grabbed it.
“I can get it,” Danika said from behind me, and I looked down at her with a half-grin.
“No. You can find us a table,” I said, and she agreed, no doubt searching for one that was the farthest away from prying eyes.
It might have been a difficult task, but it wasn’t impossible. The commissary had some tables that were more private, hidden behind tall islands that were meant for studying.
“I see one,” she said with a smile, and I happily trailed behind her, fully aware of the phones going off around us.
She pointed at the lone four-person table, where almost no one else was sitting nearby.
“Looks good,” I said, and she tossed her bag into one of the empty chairs and sat down.
I placed the tray of food on top and watched as Danika removed the small plates and sorted them in front of each one of us.
“So, tell me about the test,” she said, seemingly more relaxed as she sipped on her fresh juice smoothie.
“It wasn’t easy, but I understood most of it.” I grabbed for the bacon on my plate, breaking it into little pieces and sprinkling it over my eggs before taking a giant bite and practically moaning. I needed to eat every two hours, and I was starved.
“That’s so good. How long until he posts grades?” she asked, her hands clasping together before she started picking at her muffin. I watched her cut the top of it off and eat it first. “What? It’s the best part.”
I laughed before answering, “I don’t know. He didn’t say, but I’ll log in later tonight and check.”
“Promise you’ll text me as soon as you know?”
“I promise,” I agreed.
“Text you as soon as you know what?” the unfamiliar male voice rang out.
I almost snarled in response until I saw Danika’s face. She looked … conflicted and shocked. She pushed back from the table and stood up before launching herself into this guy’s arms and giving him a peck on the mouth.
“Jared. Hi. What are you doing here?”
