by J. Sterling
My dad was pretty mad, too, which didn’t happen all that often. He reminded the pitchers that they were there to do a job, and if they couldn’t do it, there were plenty of other guys who would kill for the chance to try.
That was how Division One baseball went. If you fucked up, you got replaced. There was no shortage of guys waiting in the dugout for their shot to steal your position. It wasn’t theirs to win; it was yours to lose.
I always remembered that line.
Mac and I headed toward the locker room. Considering the fact that I was the only one on the team who wore equipment while playing, I was an absolute sweat show by the end of each game. Showering could not wait until I got home like it could for some of the other guys.
“I’ll be five minutes,” I said to Mac before adding, “But you don’t have to wait.”
Usually, I gave Mac a ride home, but sometimes, he went with our other roommates instead.
“I’ll be outside,” he said as he slung a bag over his shoulder before dumping his dirty uniform into the bin.
Our equipment manager washed all of our clothes, which was a perk that I was grateful for. I couldn’t imagine washing my shit and not shrinking it or screwing it up somehow. The school probably knew that, hence the organized guy who handled all of that stuff for each team.
After toweling off and changing into some clean clothes, I headed out to look for my parents. I wondered if Danika would still be around, but I had no idea what she was doing at the game and not in New York in the first place. School didn’t start for a couple more weeks.
Before I exited the locker room, Mac rounded the corner and almost ran straight into me. “Hey, man, Danika’s still here, so I’m gonna catch a ride with Dayton.”
“Oh,” I said through my surprise. “Okay. I’ll see you back at the house. Thanks for the heads-up.”
“I expect a full report.”
“I know you do.” I faked a groan before following him outside.
“Hey, honey,” my mom said with a big smile as soon as I came into view.
Danika stood at her side, talking to my dad, but I noticed the quick look she threw my way. My mom hugged me and then congratulated me on the win and my game.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Look who I found,” my dad announced, his arm wrapped around Danika like he had picked her out special just for me.
“Hey, Little Spitfire,” I said without thinking as the nickname slipped out, and she grinned.
“Hey, Hotshot,” she said back before moving to give me an awkward hug.
Or at least, I was awkward, not knowing where she stood with Jared, seeing her for the first time in months in front of my parents. It was all a little too weird.
“What are you doing here?” I hadn’t meant to sound so confrontational, so I tried to recover. “I mean, I thought you’d be in New York until the semester started.”
“I know, but I came back early,” she said before looking between me and my parents, who now stood, holding each other.
“I can see that. But why?”
“Jesus, Chance, give the girl a break. Be happy she’s here,” my dad said, reminding me that we were having this conversation with an audience. One who wouldn’t keep their opinions to themselves.
“No, he’s right, Mr. Carter,” she said, defending me. “I was supposed to be gone still. But I broke up with Jared, so I came back.”
Excitement and shock tore through me at once.
Did she come back for me? Did Jared admit what he did?
“He actually told you?” I asked.
She shifted on her feet, her facial expression completely changing into something unreadable. “Told me what?”
“Oh.” I looked at my parents. “Nothing.”
“Chance, I don’t care that your parents are right here. What do you think he told me?”
I cleared my throat. “That I saw him over break at a party. He was with some other girl. We had words.”
Her face changed again into an expression I wished I didn’t recognize. Danika was pissed.
“Okay, wait a second. You thought Jared had cheated on me?” she questioned and waited for my answer.
“Yeah.” I kicked the dirt because I felt like a schmuck.
“And you didn’t tell me?” Her eyes searched mine, and the utter disappointment shining in them nearly broke me in two.
“I tried.” I started to tell her about the night I went over to her place, but she wasn’t having it.
“You tried? What’d you do, Chance? Call me and tell me? Send me an email? Text me, so we could talk about it?”
I swallowed around the rock in my throat. “No.”
“Then, you didn’t try to tell me shit,” she barked, completely calling me out.
“Danika, I went to your apartment,” I tried to defend my silence on the matter, but I knew that I’d made the wrong decision when it came to her. No matter what I’d been told last summer, this situation was different.
Danika faced my parents and stunned us all. “Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Carter, but I’m really pissed off at your son right now, and I need to go,” she said before turning to me. “Don’t follow me, Chance. Leave me alone.”
“Shit,” I breathed out before apologizing to my mom for the bad language even though I knew she didn’t really care.
Danika stormed away, her black top and jean shorts fading away quicker than I liked.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I sucked in a breath before looking directly at my mom. “I messed up, huh?”
“Her boyfriend cheated on her, and you didn’t tell her?”
I blew out a breath. “Yeah. I mean, I saw him at a party with another chick.”
“You should have told her. Why didn’t you?” My mom sounded genuinely confused and interested in my answer.
“You should not have told her,” my dad interjected, emphasizing the word not.
My mom unwrapped herself from him and pinned him with a look. “Excuse me, Jack? Of course he should have said something.”
My dad made a weird sound. “It’s not Chance’s business. As guys, we don’t get involved in other people’s shit like that. It’s not our place.”
“Not your place? Oh, really? Doing the right thing isn’t your place?” she argued, and I felt like there was some double meaning behind her words that I wasn’t quite aware of.
“Kitten,” he said, calling my mom by her nickname that always made her roll her eyes but also made her melt. “We don’t think the same way that you ladies do. We mind our own business. How would it have looked if Chance had told Danika and she didn’t believe him? What if she’d thought Chance was lying or just trying to cause trouble because he liked her and wanted her for himself? What if it had backfired on him when he was just trying to tell her what he saw?”
My dad made some very valid points. They were exactly what I’d thought and how I’d convinced myself that I had done the right thing by staying quiet after I tried to tell her once.
“But now, she feels stupid,” my mom started to explain. “Do you know how embarrassing it is to be the last one to find out something like that? And she thought you liked her.”
“I do like her.”
“Then, you should have told her. Even as a friend. She would have wanted to know what you saw.” My mom inhaled before putting her hand on my shoulder. “Turn the situation around. If you were dating someone and Danika had seen that girl with another guy at a party, would you want to know about it, or would you want her to keep the information to herself?”
My stomach dropped as I imagined the scenario. “Of course I’d want to know.”
“Exactly.”
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” I kicked the ground some more. “I need to fix this.”
“You will.” My mom was encouraging, and it made me feel marginally better.
“You don’t think she’ll hate me forever?” I asked her since she spoke girl and my dad and I obviously did not.
“She doesn’t h
ate you now. Like I said, she’s embarrassed. And disappointed that you didn’t say anything to her. She doesn’t understand why.”
“Your mom’s probably right,” my dad added.
“Probably?” My mom shot him a look.
“Fine.” He reached for her and pulled her hard against him. “She’s always right. Listen to the woman.”
“Thanks, you guys. I’ll call you later,” I said as I took off jogging toward The Beast, a few thoughts in my head.
Danika was single. She had come back early from New York. And I’d almost blown it between us.
I refused to let that happen.
Cheated in Silence
Danika
Tears spilled down my face as I hopped into the car I’d called to pick me up. Anger, frustration, and embarrassment fueled my silence on the ride back to my apartment. The news of Jared being with someone else already stung, but that was pretty hypocritical of me, considering the fact that I’d wanted to be with Chance already too. What hurt the most was Chance thinking that Jared had cheated and keeping it from me. For whatever reason, that felt like more of a betrayal.
I pulled out my keys and went to put them in the lock, but the doorknob turned. I knew I’d locked it before I left for the game.
Opening the door slowly, I yelled out, “Sunny?”
“I’m here!” she shouted before running out of her room. “We celebrated early, and my parents told me they couldn’t take any more of my moping. They forced me to leave. I just got back ten minutes ago.”
I managed a slight laugh, imagining her family asking her to go.
“Wait. Have you been crying? What happened at the game?”
“Um, Jared hooked up with some other girl over break.”
Sunny didn’t look that surprised. “So? You two were already broken up by then.”
“But Chance didn’t know that. And he saw Jared.”
She moved to the couch and practically fell onto it. “What? How do you know that?”
I sat down on top of the coffee table across from her. “Chance thought that was why we broke up. Because Jared had cheated on me and I’d found out.”
“Okay. Let me get this straight.” She held a hand in the air. “Chance thought Jared had cheated on you, but he didn’t tell you?”
“No! I mean, yes, he thought that. And, no, he didn’t tell me.”
“And you’re mad because …” She dragged out the word, and I couldn’t believe I had to explain this to my best friend.
“I’m mad because how can I trust him to have my best interests at heart? How can I trust him to protect me and look out for me? And why wouldn’t he have told me something as important as that?”
She nodded as she processed my words. “I get what you’re saying. I mean, it’s not like Chance is bound to any kind of guy code to Jared. He’s not one of his teammates or anything.”
I hadn’t even considered the guy code. I knew that most guys stayed quiet when it came to this kind of thing. At least, most guys in New York did. They never ratted on each other, no matter how much dirt they had. But I’d figured that Chance was different. Or maybe I’d figured that how he felt about me made things different.
“I thought he liked me. If he knew something that would end my relationship, why wouldn’t he be dying to tell me?”
Sunny’s face lit up like a realization had struck her on the top of the head. “Maybe he did.”
“What do you mean?”
“When he came over that night I called you, he was flustered. Desperate to see you. And crazy upset when I told him you’d already left for home.”
I remembered then what Chance had said back at the field. I had been too upset at the time to process all of his words. “Oh my gosh. He did say he came over to the apartment. He must have wanted to tell me then.”
She leaned back and grabbed a pillow. “It does sort of make sense though. That he wouldn’t want to be the one to tell you that kind of thing.”
“Why does that make sense? How does that make sense?”
We girls told each other things. Especially hard things. If we found out that someone’s man was cheating, we’d let our girlfriend know. Even if she didn’t believe us. Even if it backfired and ruined the friendship—because, sometimes, it did. But we never let our friends walk around, looking like fools.
“I think that Chance wouldn’t want to be the guy you chose to be with out of default. Does that make any sense?”
“No. Explain.”
“Hypothetically speaking, if Chance had told you he saw Jared cheating, you most likely would have broken up with him and then given Chance a chance. Ha-ha. Chance a chance,” she said, laughing at her own pun. “There’s no way he’d want you to date him just because Jared had messed up.”
It was like a lightbulb went off inside my brain. “He wants me to date him because I want to be with him over anyone else.”
“Yep,” she said, sounding excited.
“But that’s exactly what I did.”
“But he doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know anything yet.”
I felt super annoyed with myself. Somehow, I had turned this situation into a complicated mess when all I meant to do was make it easy. Breaking up with Jared first without additional complications, strings, or judgment. Taking the time to make sure my feelings for Chance were real without the pressure of Chance knowing I was single. Coming back early to tell him that I had chosen him and wanted to be with him, if he still wanted me. Everything I’d done was supposed to be the right thing, but it felt like I’d messed it all up instead.
“I still want to know why he didn’t tell me.” For whatever reason, I couldn’t let that part go without hearing it from him.
“I’ll take you over there,” Sunny said, pushing herself up from the couch without me even asking. It was like she’d read my mind.
“Thank you.” I grabbed my purse and my cell phone, and we bolted out the front door.
I couldn’t get to him fast enough.
We drove in relative silence the short distance to the baseball house until Sunny started peppering me with questions. The house was around the next turn, and she asked, “Are you nervous?”
“Not really. I just want to hear everything from his point of view. You and I can make excuses and try to figure him out, but none of it matters if it isn’t true.”
“You’re right. You guys have a lot to talk about.” Sunny looked around as she pulled into the driveway and stopped her car. “I don’t see his truck anywhere.”
I looked around, too, like I might be able to prove her wrong. “Me either.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I’ll just wait. He has to come home eventually,” I said with a shrug before opening the passenger door and sliding out.
With my luck, Chance would go stay the night at his parents’, and I’d be waiting out here for him for a week.
Sunny rolled down the window. “Work it out with him. You’ve waited too long not to,” she said before adding, “And call me if you need me to come get you. But I’m hoping you won’t.” She wagged her eyebrows as she drove off, leaving me standing outside the baseball house, looking like a damn groupie.
Talk It Out
Chance
I parked my truck, and my head was all over the place as I walked toward the front door, staring at the ground. I’d rushed over to Danika’s apartment after leaving my parents, but no one had answered. She didn’t have a car, so I’d had no idea if she was home and avoiding me or if she genuinely wasn’t there. I kind of figured she was ignoring me. While I didn’t blame her for it, I really wanted to make things right, and we couldn’t do that if we weren’t talking.
I noticed the black shoes against the white pavement first, and my eyes roamed up, taking her in. “Danika.”
She was sitting on the stoop of my house, all alone. Maybe my mom was right, and she really didn’t hate me.
“Hey.” She sounded sad, and it made my chest ache.
/>
“I was just looking for you,” I said, hoping we were on the same page.
“You were?” Her tone turned skeptical, and I hated it.
Things seemed so shaky between us, and I wanted them to be rock solid.
“Of course I was.” I reached out my hand to help pull her up. “I want to talk to you. I want to fix this. I want to explain.”
She inhaled softly before her eyes turned glassy. “I really need to know why you didn’t tell me,” she said, her voice breaking slightly, and I realized that I’d hurt her. My keeping this information from her had hurt her.
“Let’s talk inside.” I opened the front door and held it for her to walk through.
She looked fucking beautiful, walking into my house as I directed her toward my bedroom. Knowing she was here for me and not some party we were throwing fired me up.
“Hey, Chance, how’d it go with Tutor Girrr—” Mac started to yell before stopping short. “Oh. Uh … never mind. Hey, Danika,” he said before giving me a look that screamed, Oh shit, and disappearing.
She giggled, and I took it as a good sign. Ushering her through my door, I closed and locked it behind her.
“For privacy,” I said when she shot me a look after hearing the door latch. “If you’re uncomfortable, I can unlock it.”
Her head shook. “I’m not uncomfortable.”
Danika looked around my room, and I had no idea where to tell her to sit. She basically had three options: the chair at my desk, my bed, or the floor. I’d be lying if I said I hoped she didn’t choose the bed. She moved to one side of my mattress and sat down before propping her feet up. I sat on the opposite side of her. Far enough away but still close enough to reach out and touch her if she let me.
We both stayed silent, staring, not knowing where or how to start, so I took the initiative.
“I want to hear everything that happened with you and Jared,” I said because I was damn curious.
She was single now, and I was dying to know exactly how it had happened.
