by J. Sterling
Sometimes, she defied me and showed up at the house anyway.
“I like sleeping with you,” she’d say, knowing I’d never ask her to leave.
But mostly, I went to her place to sleep over. The girls took care of me like I belonged to both of them but not in some sort of creepy, sharing way. Danika would never go for anything like that, and to be honest, I had zero interest in anyone but her. The girls kept me fed, and I liked food.
But whenever I’d been gone for too many nights in a row, Mac would call me, whining, asking when I’d be home and complaining about how I’d let a girl replace him. I always told him that he could come over, too, but he never said yes.
“Just come. The girls cook and bake, and they’d love to take care of you the way they take care of me,” I tried to convince him one afternoon.
He shook his head. Whatever thoughts he had inside of it, he kept to himself. “Nah. Can’t do that.”
“ ’Cause you might actually start liking Sunny?” I asked, wondering if my instincts were right or not.
“She’s too cute and sweet for her own good,” he said.
“How can a girl be too cute and too sweet? She’s cool as fuck,” I pushed, wondering if I could get him to break.
“Gotta keep my distance from that one,” he said.
And my suspicions were confirmed. He was purposefully staying away from her. Ever since his ex-girlfriend had dumped him, he’d never been the same, and he never wanted to talk about it.
My eyes opened as my phone alarm blared, and I reached over Danika’s sleeping, naked body to grab it and shut it up. She moved her hips against my hard dick, and I wasn’t sure if she had done it on purpose or subconsciously. Her dark hair was splayed out across her pillow, and I moved it in order to touch her neck with my lips. I started softly kissing her, and she giggled, tucking her chin into her chest.
“So, you are awake?” I whispered against her as her naked hip-grinding continued.
“I mean”—she tilted her head in my direction—“your alarm did go off.” Her hand suddenly cupped my dick, surprising me before she started moving it up and down.
“Danika,” I growled. The way she held me felt amazing.
“Mmhmm?” she asked, her hand job continuing.
I threw my head back in pleasure and blew out a long breath. “If you don’t stop,” I warned, “you’ll be sorry.”
“Will I?”
“I’ll come all over your hand instead of inside you, where I belong.”
Her hand stopped moving just as quickly as it had started. “Can’t have that,” she said before I heard the sound of her nightstand drawer opening. She tossed me a condom. “Here you go, Hotshot.”
“I should make you put this on me,” I teased, and her eyes widened.
“You wouldn’t dare. Not after last time.” She sounded so mortified, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
Danika had mentioned wanting to see what it was like to put one on me, but it kept getting stuck or wouldn’t unroll, and then she ripped it with her fingernail. Everything that could have gone wrong did. It was hilarious, but my girl didn’t agree.
I carefully rolled the condom down my length, taking my time as she watched, shifting over onto her back. I had never had an issue with condoms before, but I was tempted to stop wearing one with her. I wanted nothing between us, not even a thin layer, but I never gave in to the temptation, and she never asked me to.
“Ready?” I placed the tip of my covered dick at her entrance, wondering how different it might feel without the condom.
Her hazel eyes closed as she answered, “Yes,” before lifting her hips up, and I pushed inside, feeling her warmth and tightness surround me, even through the condom I wore.
I didn’t last nearly as long as I’d wanted to, but morning sex always seemed to go that way. I woke up hard, needed to pee, and lasted about three whole minutes before I came.
“I’ll make it up to you later.” I kissed her lush lips as she squirmed under me.
“Chance”—she rolled her eyes because we’d had this conversation before—“you know I don’t care,” she said, and I honestly believed that she didn’t.
“But I do.” I kissed her one last time before hopping out of bed to flush the condom and get dressed for class.
She whistled as I walked away from her, completely naked, and made some comment about my ass that I couldn’t quite hear. Turning around, I gave her a wink and a head nod before shutting the bathroom door. Some things needed to be private. Like pissing.
When I walked out again, she was already out of bed and dressed. In all black, of course.
“Do you own anything white?” I teased, knowing exactly how many pieces of white clothing she owned.
One of the first things I’d done when I came over was go through her closet and look at her clothes like a psycho. She had them sorted in an order that only seemed to make sense to her. Something about sleeve length, she had mentioned, and all I knew was that in a sea of black, there were about twelve tops in other colors. Three of them were white. But she never wore them.
“I do, but I’m about to set them on fire, so I don’t,” she said, sticking out her tongue.
I grabbed her, claiming that tongue as my own. “You’ve got a sassy mouth.”
“Guess that’s why my boyfriend calls me Spitfire,” she bit back, and I shook my head. The girl had a comeback for everything.
I watched as she opened her bedroom door and waited for me to join her.
We stepped into the short hallway, and Sunny was already up, making coffee.
“Morning,” she said with her signature grin.
“Is she ever not smiley?” I nudged Danika’s shoulder.
“I can hear you,” Sunny said, and it reminded me so much of my little sister that all I wanted to do was tease her more. “And since when is it a crime to be happy? Huh?” She cast me a fake glare.
“She reminds me of Jacey,” Danika said, and I smiled.
“That’s exactly what I was just thinking.”
“Jacey? Your fifteen-year-old sister?” Sunny said, sounding almost offended.
“Yeah, but she’s cool,” Danika defended, and I groaned. “Is she coming to the game today?”
“I have no idea,” I said because my sister used to come to every single game of mine, but lately, she’d seemed to stop, and my mom had let her. “Maybe if she knows you’ll be there, she’ll come?”
“She knows we’re together, right?” Danika leaned against the counter as Sunny handed her a mug.
“I assume so. I mean, my parents know, so I’m sure they either told her or she overheard it with her supersonic ears.”
“I’m gonna text her.”
I shot Danika a look. “You have her number?”
“I’ll get it from your mom,” she responded, and my look only intensified.
“You have my mom’s phone number?”
“Yep,” was all she said.
She didn’t elaborate, tell me when they had exchanged numbers, or add any more information other than her answer. My girlfriend had my mom’s phone number. That was normal, right?
I glanced at my cell phone. “Shit. I gotta go. You’ll both be at the game?” I asked even though I didn’t need to.
Of course they would be there. But I liked asking anyway. I never wanted to assume that Danika’s life revolved around my schedule, no matter how much I wanted it to.
“Of course,” Danika said with a smile before sending me off with a kiss and a smack on my ass that made Sunny howl with laughter.
Walking across campus, I heard Mac shouting my name, and I gave him a nod even though I had no idea if he could see it from where he was or not.
“Baseball Boy.”
The words hit my ears, causing my feet to stop moving.
I turned to my right and faced Jared, a slew of his fraternity brothers lagging behind in the distance. I had known in the beginning of my and Danika’s relationship that it would only be
a matter of time before I ran into him. But seeing him now, all these weeks later, caught me a little off guard. I guessed, somewhere along the way, I’d started assuming that I’d never see him at all or that he wouldn’t talk to me if he happened to spot me on campus.
I’d been wrong.
“You do know you’re just temporary, right?” His voice was arrogant, confident, and annoying.
“What are you piping off about?” I tried to sound unfazed, but something about the guy always seemed to get to me.
Maybe it was because he had history that I could never compete with, and for whatever reason, it made me feel like I’d never know Danika the way that he did. And I really fucking hated even thinking that because I wanted all of her, in every way, and it felt like parts of her would forever belong to him.
“It’s always been me and her. Once the two of us go back to New York and you get drafted and you’re wherever the hell you are”—he waved his hand in the air as if dismissing me—“we’re going to get back together. You’re not in this picture, Baseball Boy. And we both know it.”
“You’re the only one who sees it that way,” I said with confidence even though I considered how much of what he’d said could be true.
He’d sounded so sure of himself, so resolute in his thought process, that it immediately filled my head with doubts.
“Am I?”
“Danika’s no longer your concern,” I said, throwing his words from last semester back at him.
He laughed. It sounded fucking sinister, and it made me bristle, wondering if he knew something I didn’t.
His frat brothers had almost gotten to us, and Jared took a single step closer to me before throwing the final verbal dagger. “You’ll ruin her life.”
I scoffed before giving him a look, indicating that I was growing bored. “And how will I do that?”
“You’ll let her follow you around the country, chasing your dreams instead of hers,” he said point-blank, and I felt the lump form in my throat. “You’ll take away everything she’s ever worked for. Everything her dad has built for her. You’ll let her throw it all away for you. And that’s the very definition of selfish.”
“Let me get this straight.” I scratched the back of my head. “Now, you’re concerned for Danika’s well-being? It wasn’t that long ago when you basically told me you wanted what her dad had built, and that’s why you were with her in the first place. Money.”
“Hey,” he growled, moving to poke a finger at my chest, and I glared at it, basically fucking daring him to touch me. He put his hand down instead. “I put in the work. For years, I’ve stayed by her side and picked up the pieces every time she fell apart. I deserve to get something for all of that. I deserve a place in that company. I’ve earned it.”
“You’re such an asshole.” I’d never met anyone who was this motivated by money. I’d thought it was something that only happened in ridiculous movie plots.
“I might be an asshole, but you’re the one who’s going to break her heart,” he said right as his buddies caught up to us, all of them posturing and puffing up their chests like they were prepared to take me on. “And when that happens, I’ll be there for her, like always. It will be me by her side, running half of Manhattan, like it was supposed to be. And we’ll forget you ever existed.”
“Sounds like you have it all worked out then,” I offered with a nod.
“It’s only a matter of time. You can’t see it clearly, but I can,” he sneered before looking at his bros for approval and then down at some fancy watch on his wrist. “You get drafted in what, a few months? I can wait it out until then.”
“Good luck with that,” I said before walking away.
I was done. But Jared obviously wasn’t. He shouted something at my back, but I was too in my own head to make it out clearly. I had to get away from him. I couldn’t handle hearing another word come out of his mouth about Danika or her future or my lack of a place in it.
“Sorry it took me so long. I didn’t come over until I saw all his frat dickheads show up.” Mac suddenly appeared next to me. “What the hell was that about?”
I’d forgotten that he had been waiting for me.
“Nothing.” I tried to blow him off. I didn’t want to talk to Mac about it. I didn’t even want to think about it for one second longer, but I was rattled.
Fucking. Rattled.
I couldn’t get Jared’s toxic words out of my head or the one question that kept repeating itself in my mind.
Is he right?
It was hot as hell out already, and my catcher’s gear made it five times hotter. The second I stepped out of the locker room and onto the field, I knew I was fucked. My mind was still filled with all the things Jared had said. I spent the rest of the afternoon overthinking my relationship with Danika, worried to death that I was ruining her life by wanting her to be with me. How selfish was I?
No matter what I did, I couldn’t clear my mind. And that was bad business for any ball player. Baseball was a mental sport, and if you fucked with your ability to get your head on straight, you might as well sit it out. The worst part was that every other player on the opposing team knew it too. Being rattled on the ball field was like wearing a giant neon sign that read, FUCK WITH ME.
I was having my worst game in years. I’d made two throwing errors from home plate on guys who tried to steal on me. Normally, they knew better. Running against my arm was a test that most guys failed, much to their coach’s ire. Was the runner on base faster than the ball? The answer to that question was usually a resounding no. But not today.
Today, the answer was maybe. I’d basically invited them to take their chances on me. And twice, I’d overthrown the ball to third base, allowing runners to score and almost tie the game.
My dad walked up to me after the inning and pulled me aside. “What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing. I’m just in my head,” I said, shaking it back and forth, like that might make the words Jared had planted there spill out of my ears instead of taking root.
“I can see that. Get out of it,” he said, like it was that easy. Like he’d never been in this position before.
We all had bad games. Even the great Jack Carter.
“I’m trying,” I ground out.
He was pissing me off. No one wanted to stay in their head on the field, and he damn well knew it.
“You’re making it worse.”
“Well, you’re not making it any better.”
“Is it Danika?” he said, and the mere mention of her name made my stomach twist.
“I can’t talk about this right now, Dad.”
We couldn’t get into a discussion about a girl in the middle of a game. That was unacceptable, and we both knew it.
“Yeah, well, I’m here if you need me,” he said before adding, “After the game. Try to pull it together.” He slapped my shoulder before jogging away.
Great pep talk, I thought to myself as I reached for my helmet and bat.
My next at bat, I struck out at the plate, looking. I’d watched the last strike sail right down the pipe and didn’t even attempt to swing. It was my third strike out of the game.
Coach Jackson swore, his disappointment in me obvious for everyone to see and hear. “Carter,” he said through clenched teeth as I stalked toward the dugout.
“Coach,” I said, sounding as dejected as I felt.
“Sit it out.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
He was pulling me from the game. In the seventh inning while we were down by one run.
I never got pulled.
I never sat out a game.
Guessed there was a first time for everything.
I resisted the urge to throw shit, specifically my helmet, as I moved down the length of the bench in the dugout to sit alone and sulk. This was my own fault, and I had no one else to blame but myself. My sheer inability to get out of my head and be the leader I was expected to be on the field was
baffling. I’d never struggled with focusing my mind before. But then again, I’d never had a girlfriend in my college career before. Compartmentalizing wasn’t as easy as I’d always thought it should be. I had harshly judged my teammates in the past, wondering why they couldn’t seem to put their love life on the shelf for nine fucking innings and focus on the game. Now, I actually understood.
Leaning forward, I glanced in the stands before leaning back just as quick. Fuck.
Not only were Danika, Sunny, and my mom here, but so were Uncle Dean and Aunt Melissa. Uncle Dean must have been dying inside, watching me play so shitty. He was my unofficial sports agent until I was legally allowed to sign with him. I wondered how frustrated he was and if he’d have to do any kind of damage control after I played a game like this. I knew I was being a bit dramatic, but there were aspects of the baseball business that I didn’t know yet. Maybe one bad game was all it took to make scouts doubt a player and lose interest.
To make matters worse, Gran and Gramps were here, too, watching this travesty. They rarely came to my games anymore, which I understood and was perfectly okay with. The stadium seats were far too uncomfortable for them to sit in for three hours straight, and the weather was usually either too hot or too cold. Plus, they didn’t drive much on their own anymore, complaining that people were always in too much of a rush and that their eyesight wasn’t what it used to be. Uncle Dean must have picked them up and brought them.
The only saving grace was that my sister and cousins didn’t seem to be around. It was bad enough to play this kind of game in front of everyone I cared about, but having it in front of three annoying teenage girls who would never shut up about it after would have been even more of a nightmare for me.
I leaned forward again, catching a glimpse of Danika and my mom laughing at something. The sight of them together should have made me happy, and it would have before this morning, but right now, it only made me confused.
When I looked at Danika, I didn’t see an end date to our relationship. I saw a future. A future that I wanted her to be a part of. Did wanting that make me selfish, like Jared had said? Because if Danika chose to be with me, that meant she was choosing this crazy baseball lifestyle too. A world where everything could change in the span of a single day and anything could happen. She would never have a predictable, stable, normal life, like most other people.
