by Nicety
Fuck them, though. All I could think about was what the fuck was going to happen to me. The dumb ass public defender they had assigned to me said they he would be here to talk to me, but he was missing in action. More importantly, Superior hadn’t come down to support me in court. The hysterical act that she played when they were slapping the cuffs on me was damn convincing, though. I had to give it to her. I didn’t really think she had it in her.
Officer Dipshit was running up in her now, and she had to make sure her money bags was right and tight before she fucked up her situation. In hindsight, none of the bullshit would have been going on had I used the money I had before to fix my life. It was a factor about my fuck up that I just couldn't let go.
Mentally, I beat myself up about it every day since Superior put me out on my ass. She was right. It was just the wake up call I needed to grow the fuck up. I wasn't perfect by any means, but I could damn sure strive to be.
"Alexis Burden, step to the door." The guard banged on the glass of the door, damn near frightening my skeleton up out of my body. "Put your hands behind your back and walk to the end of the hall."
"Excuse me, officer. Can you tell me where I'm going?" I asked, in a meek tone.
"You're going down to the meeting room to confer with your public defender." The tall black guard's tone was cold and dark.
In the back of my mind, I knew that damned lawyer wasn't there to discuss my innocence. According to his paycheck, everyone on his client sheet was guilty. I walked into the small room that looked like nothing more than just another jail cell. The public defender was already at the small square shaped table, fumbling through paperwork from his open black business bag. Even with the loud so in of the buzzer and door closing, the nigga never looked up at me.
"Ms. Burden," he began to laugh. "That's funny. Your murder weapon was a knife, and your name sounds like Borden. You know; Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks."
Displeasure read on my face like an open book. My eyes lowered, seemingly squinting, but just enough so that he could see the annoyance written in them.
"And when she thought that she was done, she gave her father forty-one," his smirk was beginning to piss me off. "You've never...well never mind. Uh, have a seat, and we'll get started."
"Furthermore, the weapon isn't mine," I responded, solemnly.
"At this point it doesn't matter. What matters is that we do everything we can to get a judge and jury to believe that." His hands stopped flipping papers long enough to bring his eyes up to mine. "Unless you want to plead out."
"Well what does matter, ‘cause I'm not pleading out to shit, I didn't do. Listen, I’ve got a note that might help with the police’s investigation."
“Is it your confession?”
“What? Wait, no. What the fuck are you trying to do here? You’re supposed to be my laywer. Are you here to help me or not?”
“Alexis, unless you have definitive proof that you didn’t kill this woman it won’t help you not one bit.”
It was then that I knew if I gave him the note, not only would I never see it again but also he would never turn it in to gather any incriminating forensics for the real killer.
“You’re an ass. Has anybody ever told you that?” I asked instead of pleading my case about the note.
"Okay, then. Sign here, here, and here." He ignored my remark and pointed to black lines on a few sets of papers.
"What am I signing?" My snarl was becoming more prevalent.
"These are just standard procedure saying that you will take me on as your lawyer for the trial and that you are low income and can't pay. The next set of papers is for your bail, which has already been paid. So, as soon as these guys do their job, you'll be free to go." He licked his lips, slapping his hands together as if he was about to enjoy a tasty meal as I signed each of the papers.
"Wait, my bail has been paid? By whom?" The blood was rushing through my body like a racecar on the track.
"A Ms. Honey Daniels."
I was baffled by the name that came out his mouth and a little disappointed, as well. To be honest, I wasn't looking for anyone to come to my rescue, but if I had to pray for anyone to help, Honey would've been the last person in my mind. I was speechless. All I could do was pray that my release wouldn't end badly.
I tried to be happy that I was being blessed to be getting out so quickly. I tried to accept the fact that someone was generous enough to put up that much money for me, not knowing if I would jump bail or not. But, I wasn't and I wouldn't be, not until the real killer was brought to justice and my name was free and cleared.
"You have a court date next month. I'm sure I don't need to tell you what happens if you don't show up," the lawyer babbled.
"Enlighten me."
"The judge will issue a bench warrant for your arrest and you will await trial behind bars. Is that not self explanatory for you?"
"Indeed it is. I think I'm crystal clear on the terms. I'll also be looking for a new lawyer as well," I sneered.
"Yeah? Well, good luck with that." He stood, extending his hand to me.
I looked at it as if it were a disease. It was the black plague to me. I figured rolling my eyes and stepping over to the door was hint enough to let him know that he could keep the rest of his egotistical bullshit. His presence was no longer needed.
As I banged on the door for the guard to release me back to the pen, I dismissed his ass in my mind. I had no idea when they would release me or how I would prove my innocence. I just knew I was a fool if I didn't at least try.
"How long do I have to sit in the back before I get released?" I asked with trepidation.
"Listen, I'm not one of these asshole cops. You don't have to be timid around me. I'm one of the cool ones," the cop smiled as he turned to me.
"I guess it's just your large size that intimidates me I guess. That and the fact that I just didn't want to upset you, and you make my stay here a living hell," I chuckled, but I was dead serious.
"Naw, I took this job cause I wanted to help the people coming in and out of here better themselves. It's so many of our black people getting lost to these streets and this system, and nobody's taking the time out to help them or show them some real shit. See, everyone I come in contact with I let them know that this doesn't have to be life for them. You are worth so much more and deserve so much more than this fucked up place," he preached with hand gestures.
As I listened to him speak, it all began to make sense. This man didn’t know me from Adam or Eve, but he was willing to spit some knowledge to me to try and get me to steer my life into the right direction. I was intrigued by his uplifting words of peace and sovereignty.
It was so inspiring that I didn’t want to leave him when we neared the end of the hall. I didn’t want to go back into the hellhole to await my release. I smiled because I wanted to hear more of what other encouraging words he had to give. At the end of the hall, he had me turn the corner, and directed me to go down another long hallway. It confused me at first, but he just kept on talking and I was obliged to listen.
“There are so many things you can do besides the devil’s work. What kinds of skills do you have? What are your interests?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” I answered, hesitantly. “I mean, I’m sure there are plenty of things that I could do, but I guess I’ve never really thought about doing anything with my life. Guess I figured I had enough time to think about it.”
“See and that’s what’s wrong with our youth today. None of them have a clue of what they want to be when they grow. None of them have any goals or dreams to strive for. There’s no one trying to strive for excellence because they’re too busy listening to the media and music that conditions them to make the wrong decisions. Dying has become the new aspiration…” he paused, stopping and halting me in my tracks. “…let go of the pain that haunts you. Find a positive aspiration, young sis, before it costs you your life.”
He looked me square in the ey
e, and I could tell that his heart as well as his words was genuine. I felt every bit of his sincerity, and as he placed his hand on my shoulder guiding me back down the hallway, I knew for sure that this was my time to seriously learn from my mistakes.
He was like some sort of angel sent to tell me just what I needed to hear to buckle down and fly right. My heart was bleeding from all the pain I had experienced this past year. Diamond, Kojack, Pandora, and my unborn baby were all dead without being given a chance to live. I didn’t want to end up like them.
“Turn down this hall. You’re not going back to the pen. Since you’re being sprung, you can sit in holding until they call your name. I’ll holla at my peeps and make sure they expedite you so you can be out in an hour, tops.” His dark skin glistened under the lights, and his teeth glowed as he smiled.
“Thank you so much. I truly appreciate this. I feel like I owe you or something.” My palms grew sweaty.
“Naw, sis. You pay yourself by changing your life.”
“Will do.”
A warm feeling came over me. As I walked through the corridor, I heard the officer tell his buddies to make sure I have a smooth transition. He told them that I was a special case and needed to go home as quickly as possible. The other officers cackled with him about current events and sports before punching a few things on the computer.
He handed them my paperwork, and they did some things with it before handing them to me and telling me to go sit down in the holding cell. I walked to the door they had buzzed open and entered the room. There was only three other women in there, which let me further know that not many people became as fortunate as I just did. I thanked my lucky stars for that officer, and even though I didn’t know his name, I would never in my life forget his face.
“Hey,” he tapped on the window, as our eyes locked. “Don’t come back.”
He smiled and walked off, as I replied earnestly, “Never.”
Thirty minutes later, I was released and made to stand inline with a few other inmates set to go home. There were about eight of us inline. We were instructed to walk along the white line that started from the back of the building and followed the guard all the way to the first floor front entrance.
It felt like we were in boot camp on a military base, told not to speak or move outside the line without being told to do so, even when we reached the front door. We were not to be released until they told us we were dismissed. I carried a clear hospital like bag with my belongings and paperwork inside.
Once we made it to the front entrance corridor, we gazed upon our loved ones happily waiting there to receive us and take us home. I was shocked as hell to see one person, waiting there for me. The guard yelled that we were formally dismissed, prompting me to walk right up to her unable to look away for one minute.
“Hey baby. Are you okay?” Her grin was the most beautiful thing I had seen all day.
“Yeah. I’m actually good. What…what are you doing here?” Confusion read in my expression.
“I came to get you silly. I know I’m probably the last person you expected to see here, but I told you I had your back. I would never do anything to hurt you.” She reached in her pocket, pulling out a small, folded piece of paper and handed it to me. “When I got here, Honey was already leaving out. She was cool though. We actually sat and had a long conversation before they said you all were walking to the front. She thought it was best not to be here when you got out. So here, she left this note for you.”
“What is it?”
“Just read it.”
I love you, but she loves you more, and now I’m giving up on you.
My love is what bailed you out. Consider this my last act of kindness for you.
We are through. We are done. Please don’t come by.
I don’t ever want to see you again. Let me be.
Have a nice life.
Honey
I looked up into Superior’s eyes at the blissful happiness she was in. I could tell that she and Honey had a grand discussion about this while I was waiting to be released. I felt bad, though. And, I couldn’t even tell Honey that I was so sorry for everything I put her through emotionally.
She was a woman in love with a chick who had no intentions on loving her back, and for that I was the biggest bitch in the world. Inside, I never really cared about her feelings before, but now all I wanted to do was apologize to her a million times. But, I knew the best apology I could give her was to respect her wishes.
“Come on girl,” I said, wrapping my arm lovingly around Superior’s neck with one hand and sliding the note in my pocket with the other. “Let’s get this shit on and poppin’. I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I may have an idea of who did this shit to me.”
Fourteen
Time is up
Superior
“I’m so glad we’re back together baby. I missed you so much.” I turned my brand new key in the door of my apartment, holding the door open for Lexi.
“Well, we need to get a few things in order before we call it official, but we are definitely moving in the right direction.” She turned and looked at the debris outside the door. “Um, what are all those bags doing in the hallway? Is that nasty trash?”
“One might say that.” I side eyed that shit out there. “So, talk to me. Do you really think that Jesse had something to do with Mindy’s murder?”
“Hell yeah. She used to tell me all the time how he hated how she had gotten too cocky around his business. She would always want to know every detail about what was going on at the club. Not to mention, he had accused her of stealing from him so many times that she quit counting,” Lexi rambled through potential motives of Jesse while I kicked off my jumpers and poured me a large glass of chilled red Moscato.
“I just can’t see it though, Lex. I’ve never known him to be a violent man. She’s never even told me about him raising his hand to her at all.”
“Okay? So, what does that have to do with him murdering somebody in the heat of passion?”
“But, think about it. If somebody was just trying to get rid of her, they had an ample amount of time to do it when you weren’t around. Why would they wait until you were there and why would they leave you a note?”
“I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. That’s why I accused you and Honey’s ass.”
“But, you was wrong for that, though,” I simpered.
“No, I wasn’t cause y’all was straight crazy, fighting and doing all kinds of crazy shit. So, what the fuck was I supposed to expect?”
She was right about that, but I would be damned if I admitted it. My thick waist plopped down on the sofa next to her while taking a big gulp of my wine. I leaned my head on her shoulder, and swallowed the liquid enjoying its cool flow down the back of my throat.
Lexi wrapped her arm around me, stroking my hair sensually. Simply being in her arms made my life feel complete. I didn’t know how we were going to get her out of this predicament she was in, but for the moment that was the very least of my concern. For now, I wanted to give my baby just what every convict needed after they were first sprung from the joint. I mounted her, straddling her legs and gyrating my hips, as I got ready for the fantastic rodeo.
“What are you doing, girl?” Lexi licked her lips.
“What does it look like I’m doing baby?”
“It looks like you getting something started that we don’t need to be doing right now, Jasmine.”
“Hmmm. What have I told you about calling me that? You know that’s not what you call me.” My eyes cut sharply to her.
“No, your name is Jasmine and at the very most I will call you Jazzy, but that’s it.” Her expression was so serious it slapped the sneer clean off of my face.
“Well, Jasmine, since you’re supposed to be my girl, I will not tolerate you seeing this bitch anymore. Tonight is the night you stop…or else.”
Lexi and I were startled shitless. Andrew raised his hand to her beautifully brown face as he quickly moved tow
ards us on the sofa, pausing in mid-air. The look on his face was nothing shy of sinister and evil. This was a sign of him that I had never seen before. His eyebrows curled over, devilishly.
I guess he thought he was a man who could be feared by all, for his huge stature and bold physique. With my hand pressed against her chest, I began to feel her heart pump faster. She was beginning to perspire on her forehead, as well. She sat perfectly still with me on her knees as we watched him back slowly up off of us. There was the stench of alcohol in the air so strong that it almost made my stomach churn.
“What the hell? How the hell did you get in here?” My heart felt like it would jump out of my body.
“I guess you thought you were slick, huh? Thought you could lock me out of my own shit.” His face was blank. “Tell me you didn’t mean it, baby.”
“Andrew, you’re fucking cra—“
“Tell me!” he screamed, incisively.
“You can’t tell me what to say, Andrew. You really need to get a grip on things. And for the last time, we aren't in a relationship. I don't love you. You can't just force something on somebody that they don't want.” I was done and tired of entertaining his bullshit.
Rage filled his eyes as the truth about my feelings resonated in his head. Andrew stumbled backwards drunkenly after he had heard those words. It was like somebody knocked the wind out of his sails. He was in love with me that deeply, no matter what I did or how I acted.
It was the one thing that scared the shit out of me about him. We could tell that he was growing increasingly angry with us, especially with my booty nicely planted on Lexi's thighs. She had her hands on my waist showing no signs of removing them.
“You don’t love me? Huh? Do you want to destroy this shit between us so badly? Huh? Think about what you will be missing out on. That bitch is nothing but a worthless piece of shit. Can she afford you a five star mansion, a few mink coats, and shopping sprees in foreign countries?”
