by M. S. Parker
The sound of shattering glass caught us both off guard. I stared at the table I’d just upended, hardly able to believe what I’d just done. It had been a long time since I’d lost control like that.
Sucking in a breath, I squeezed my eyes closed. “Stop. I…just. I fucked up. I didn’t know he’d touched you. I didn’t know he’d…I just didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
Aleena didn’t say anything.
“Please don’t leave me, Aleena.”
Again…nothing.
Terror unlike anything I’d known in a long, long time started to grow inside me and I turned, staring at her. I couldn’t lose her. “I…fuck, Aleena. Just tell me what it is you want. What you need. I don’t know how to do this. You want me to take you out on dates? Fine. We can do that.” Desperate, I looked around. She’d dropped some clothes so I grabbed them and held them out. “Get dressed. We can go out right now. You want to go dancing? The movies? Just…just you’ve got to tell me how to do this because I don’t know how.”
“What do you mean you don’t know how?” She eyed the clothes I held, almost nervously, and I realized she was still clutching clothes she’d gathered in her hands.
Feeling stupid now, I lowered my hands. I dropped down onto the bed, staring at the pale green sweater and a faded pair of jeans. “I don’t…I don’t do relationships, Aleena. These…they just aren’t my thing. I’ve told you that.”
“Oh, I get that you’re not much for relationships.” She toyed with the sleeve of the shirt she held, her eyes bouncing around. “Trust me, I’ve noticed. Because that’s about all I can do. Notice. Because I can’t get to know anything about you any other way.”
“You…” I looked at her, then away.
Tell me about the nightmares.
I laughed sourly and surged up off the bed. I got it now. I had no doubt what had driven her to ask. Penelope had definitely pulled out all the stops tonight. I’d seen the gleam in her eyes when we’d been talking just before Eddie had pulled me aside. I knew that gleam, knew she’d been causing trouble. She knew what had happened to me. If it had happened any time recently, I doubt any amount of money could have hidden it, thanks to the wonders—or atrocities—of social media. But over a decade ago, news didn’t travel the way it did now and scandals were easier to hide.
But nothing stayed hidden from everybody. Or forever.
If you had the money and knew who to ask, you could find out almost anything.
Penelope was one who had the money and she knew who to ask. I wouldn’t have even put it past her to have asked my mother, though I hoped to hell that wasn’t where she’d gotten her information. I’d never forgive that.
Tell me about the nightmares.
It was the last thing I wanted to do. Ever.
But it was the only thing I could do if I wanted to keep her. I just hoped what I told her didn’t drive her away.
Swallowing hard and wishing I had something to clear away the metallic taste of my blood, I lifted my gaze and stared at Aleena.
“When I was fifteen years old, I was kidnapped.”
Like it happened in slow motion, the clothes Aleena held dropped from her hands. I saw each piece. A lacy bra. A pink blouse. Jeans. A silky scrap that could only be panties. “What?” she whispered.
“I don’t remember exactly how it happened—how he grabbed me. I just…” I lifted my eyes to the ceiling, trying to focus on the elegant white fan pattern instead of the memories. If I gave it like a report, I could do this. It wasn’t like I hadn’t talked about it a hundred times. A thousand even. “I woke up. He had me restrained. I...”
A soft gasp escaped her.
I deliberately focused on anything but her. If I looked at her, I wouldn’t be able to finish this. I couldn’t bear to see whatever was on her face at that moment.
“He had me for a year. I was raped. Beaten. Starved half the time. There were times when I thought I’d freeze. Other times when he’d just…go away and I’d be convinced I’d die down there, tied up and alone. Nobody even knowing what happened.”
“Dominic…” Her voice broke.
Her shadow fell across my line of vision and then she touched my arm. But I had to finish this. I dropped my head, looking down at my hands.
“After about a year, I escaped. If I hadn’t...” My voice trailed off for a moment, but I forced myself to go on. “They never caught him. I spent years in therapy. Tried drowning myself in alcohol and drugs and sex, but it made it worse. My life was spiraling out of control. And then, one night, right after I turned eighteen, this woman I picked up at some club...we fell asleep after and I had a nightmare. She woke me up and since the story had been in the papers, she figured out who I was.”
I paused and took a deep breath, determined to finish the story. I swallowed and continued, “Instead of pitying me, she told me about her controlling ass of an ex and how she dealt with things.” My hands curled into fists. “She’s the one who took me to Olympus. It’s a club. A bdsm club. It’s where I learned that I could be in control. All the time. And it worked. I could control sex. Anger. Pain. And as long as I was in control, I couldn’t...no one could...”
Aleena knelt in front of me, her hand gently cupping my chin and raising my head until we were face-to-face. My eyes were dry, but hers weren’t. The tears on her face, dotting her lashes, they were for me, and they gave me the strength to say what else I needed to say.
“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to give you what you want, but I don’t want to lose you.”
She didn’t say anything and something cracked inside me.
I was too late.
Continues in Vol. 5
Serving HIM Vol. 5
1
Aleena
My heart was breaking and I felt sick inside.
Sick and furious. Sick for what had been done to the man I loved. Furious, in so many ways.
But none of that could matter right now.
This was going to be like the blind leading the blind, but as I leaned in, I knew that one of us would have to take the lead and it would have to be me. It didn't matter that he was older and more experienced in sex, or what roles we were supposed to have in the bedroom. I could only imagine what it had taken for Dominic to open up to me like that and I knew that I was going to have to take the next step.
“So here’s the thing.” My voice was husky and it hurt to even speak, but I made myself do it. If he could tell me all of that, I could tell him the full truth about what had happened between myself, Mitchell Pence and Penelope Rittenour. I owed him that. “The reason I left the party had nothing to do with Pence. He’s a jerk, but I’ve dealt with worse.”
Dominic’s eyes flashed but when he went to speak, I touched my finger to his lips. “It's my turn to talk.” I had to move my hand because the feel of his mouth was too distracting. “I left because of Penelope. She’s a piece of work.” I couldn’t quite pull off the laugh. “She had me thinking you two…”
“We’re not. We never––”
I nodded. “I’m getting that.” Smoothing my hands up the solid length of his thighs, I leaned in and kissed his cheek. He tried to follow, but I moved away. “I was stupid. She got to me. I shouldn’t have let her.”
He fisted his hand in my hair and tried bring my mouth to his, need written across every line of his face.
Again, I pulled back until he released my hair. I needed him to hear this before things went any further.
“Relationships.” I pressed my mouth to his once he’d eased up on my hair. It was a quicker kiss than I liked, but I couldn't lose myself before we'd finished the talk we should've had a while ago. “I get that you need to be in control and I understand it more than ever now. But, with relationships, it’s a give and take. It can't just be about me having to trust you. You need to trust me too. Let me in. Can you do that?”
His eyes locked on mine, and I saw the struggle on his face. Then, slowly, his hand fell away.
T
he ache in my heart deepened. The bruised look in his brilliant blue eyes was going to haunt me for a very long time. Right now, though, I was going to do my best to take it away.
“You said something earlier. Before we left.” Leaning in, I tugged on his neck until he lowered his head and I could whisper in his ear. “Do you remember?”
He turned his face into my hair.
“Yes.” The single word was ragged.
“Good.”
I stood then and untied the belt to my robe. I rolled my shoulders, letting the heavy cotton fall to the floor. When I sank to my knees in front of him, I felt the slow glide of his gaze on me as if it was a caress.
Sliding my hands up his muscular chest, I dealt with his tie, his shirt. He helped strip them away, tossing them in a tangle somewhere off into the room.
When I went to tug at his pants, he rose and I sat back on my heels to watch him. Under the heavy fringe of his lashes, he watched back.
His blue eyes glowed, the fire in them oddly banked as he removed the rest of his clothes. I knew now, without having to know the details, where the marks on his body had come from; the ones I’d always just seen as part of who he was. I’d always thought him beautiful, and now, as I realized all the scars he hid inside, he seemed even more beautiful.
He stood there in front of me and I placed my hands on his thighs, skimmed them up, felt the light growth of his hair tickling my palms as I stroked up, then down, then up.
His erection pulsed, beating in time with the blood flooding his veins. The thick shaft stiffened, rose, another beautiful part of his body. The vein that ran along the underside of his cock caught my eye as I sat back on my heels. I flicked a look up at him before I leaned forward.
Slowly, I rose up. His eyes remained locked on me as I closed my mouth around the swollen head. A harsh noise ripped out of him and he lifted a hand. It hovered at his side for a second and then, without saying a word, he lowered it.
“Will you lie on the bed?” I asked, my voice a low whisper.
It was quiet. I was almost afraid to speak, afraid to shatter the odd spell that had fallen between us.
His gaze never left my face as he slowly sat down, then pushed himself back on the bed. He didn’t lie down though, but propped himself up on his elbows, watching me as I stood, then climbed onto the bed, moving between his legs.
Was it hard, I wondered, for him to do this?
As the thought came to me, I caught sight of the muscle throbbing in his jaw and knew the answer. It was hard for him.
Yielding control, even for something as simple as this, would be almost impossible. I put my hand on his thigh again and felt the muscles tense and tighten under his skin. I wrapped my free hand around his cock and stroked up, then down.
A groan rumbled out of him.
I did it again, then leaned down to swirl my tongue across the head. I sucked gently, rolling my eyes up to look at him as I increased the suction. He swore and thrust his hips up, shoving his cock deeper into my mouth. My eyes started to water and I pulled up.
He made a move as if to grab me, but again, he stopped and swore, falling back flat on the bed this time and flinging an arm over his eyes.
One hand curled into a tight, desperate fist. His jaw clenched and his cheekbones jutted out against his skin. And when I took him back into my mouth, he made that same raw sound, followed by my name as he rocked up to me.
I did it again and again.
The world shrank down to us, that bed and the rhythm of his hips as he rose to meet my mouth as I sucked on him.
Need burned and twisted inside me but I ignored it.
I needed this more—and he needed me.
I could feel it in the restrained way he didn’t let himself reach for me, in the desperate way he didn’t let himself take over.
He growled my name and fisted his hands in the thick comforter, twisting at the material as he started to pump his hips in hard, rapid circles. My mouth ached, my lips stretched tight around his width, but I took as much as I could. He started to come, the taste of him salty on my tongue. My eyes watered and I needed air, but I didn’t let myself pull away, determined to swallow it all.
Not until the tension left his body and not until I had milked the last drop of semen from his cock, only then did I lift my head. His eyes were on me, dark and burning, his face so full of emotion that I could barely breathe.
I crawled up onto the bed and curled up next to him. He immediately pulled me up against him, his arms wrapping around me and holding me close. His hand threaded through my hair and then trailed down my bare shoulder. “Aleena…”
“Hmmm?”
He didn’t say anything else.
Just my name.
Closing my eyes, I snuggled closer and closed my eyes. “I have to tell you something,” I said softly. “I…”
I licked my lips, tasting him again. I was terrified to say the words that were trapped inside me, but I had to. I couldn’t keep them locked up anymore and I was dying, bit by bit, day by day, living like this. I couldn’t tell him that we needed to trust each other if I wasn’t being honest.
Slowly, I lifted my head and looked at him.
His lashes lifted and I could see the shield ready to slam back into place.
I touched his cheek. “I…”
Just do it. Do it and be done.
“I love you.” I tried to smile and failed. “I didn’t mean for it to happen and I don’t expect anything from you.” I looked away. “But I can’t pretend anymore and whatever we’re doing, how we’re doing it…Dominic, it’s killing me. I either…”
I sat up. His arms fell away and I felt terribly cold, suddenly all too aware that I was naked. Staring towards the window, I blinked away the tears.
“I can’t be the kind of woman Penelope is, or the kind of woman your mother is. I don’t want to be some pretty little piece you tuck up in your room.” Hollow, I drew my legs up, trying to get some warmth. “I…look, I understand that relationships aren’t easy for you and I can…I understand and I don’t want to push you on anything. But if you…I just…”
Now I felt pissed off and angry with myself. I should have just let it go. I made a move to shove off the bed.
Dominic caught my wrist and tugged me back, pulling me on top of him. I caught my breath, ready to have him roll us and pin me under him. To put himself back in control.
But he didn’t. He held me.
“You just what?” he asked, his voice calm.
Through my tears, I stared at him.
“You just what?” he asked again.
I blinked, uncertain of what I’d meant to say or what I’d even been thinking.
“I told you, Aleena,” he said, his voice patient. “I don’t know how to do this, so if you want something, you have to tell me.”
“I want you.” My voice broke and I was furious with myself for it. “But if I can’t have all of you, then I’d rather we…”
His mouth caught mine.
Now he rolled and pinned me under him.
He was naked and hot and smooth and I gasped as he pressed against me, hard again. “All of me,” he said against my lips. “You’ll have all of me, Aleena. And you better be ready for it, because dammit, I’ll have all of you, too.”
He braced his hands on the bed next to my shoulders and stared down at me. I gasped as he thrust, deep and hard and high.
“Take me,” he said, watching me. “All of me.”
I clung to him. “All of you…”
As though he’d just been waiting to hear my affirmation, he started to move quicker, harder, faster. There was no finesse, no games, only heat and friction and pleasure. He drove into me hard enough that it should’ve hurt, but I only wanted him to go deeper. He didn’t tease, but I still begged, the need I had for him twisting with the fire inside me until I exploded. He swore as my pussy tightened around his cock but didn’t stop. Over and over he slammed into me, pushing me higher and higher until he came a
gain, calling my name.
We clung to each other even as we came down, our need not merely a sexual one. We needed each other in ways I wasn’t quite sure I fully understood yet. But it didn’t matter. We had time.
I fell asleep smiling, my body still entwined with his.
2
Aleena
A camera flashed in my eyes and I blinked away the spots.
Dominic guided me away from it and I instinctively followed.
A couple of weeks ago, I’d wanted this, I reminded myself. And, okay, it had been nice to have Dominic call from the office while I was working at home and ask if he could take me out to dinner.
It had been nice indeed.
No, I admitted, it had been more than nice.
The entire past week had been great. Even with people shoving cameras into my face, I wouldn’t have traded it. It happened whenever Dominic and I went out, twice without him even around. Fortunately, his drivers knew how to handle things and had been able to get me away without too much trouble.
Tonight, though, he was around and more than a few seemed to think there was blood in the water. That was a shark thing, right? And the media was very shark-like. They moved after people in a herd, attacked together though each one was desperate for their own pound of flesh. They thinned out the weakest and then focused on those left standing after the melee.
It was an unsettling and disconcerting sensation, one I didn’t like at all.
“Ms. Davison! Ms. Davison! Is it true your mother broke up a happy relationship back in Iowa?”
That voice rang out from the crowd and I came to a stunned stop. Surprised, I turned my head, trying to find the one who’d asked the question. While I’d been photographed and speculated about, this was the first time someone had singled me out for a question that wasn’t just about my relationship with one of the city’s most eligible bachelors.
Dominic tugged on my hand. “Come on, Aleena. Don’t give them what they want,” he said, bending his head to murmur in my ear.
