I sat up in surprise and my heart started to pound. “What did he say?” I asked. “Was he upset?” I knew what morning he was talking about and I had not sensed anything from Austin other than some amusement.
Caleb cleared his throat uncomfortably. “He didn’t really say anything. He just mentioned it when we were talking about something else.”
“Oh,” I said in relief. “Did he think the twins were hiding from him or something?”
Caleb avoided my eyes. “Something like that.” He murmured. He shifted on his side so that he was facing me. “I guess what I’m trying to ask….” He took in a breath and I shifted in anticipation.
“Is there something between you?” he finally blurted out.
I turned bright red. “Um…” This was such an awkward conversation, even for me. And I was great at making things awkward.
I decided to just be completely open and honest with Caleb. “We kissed. We haven’t really talked about what it meant for us yet, but Mason said…” I hesitated. This is where things got even weirder when I tried to say it out loud.
“Mason said that the two of them are a package deal.” I whispered to him in embarrassment. What was Caleb going to think about me after this?
Caleb just nodded and didn’t criticize me or ask me what I could possibly be thinking in even considering that. “My mom had two mates.” He told me seriously.
My jaw dropped. “Is that a wolf thing?” I asked curiously. No one had ever mentioned that to me before. Reagan had made it sound like her relationship to Mr. Zilker was the equivalent of a human marriage.
“I don’t know if it’s a wolf thing, exactly.” Caleb said slowly. “But we only had two females in my pack. The other female in the pack had four mates.”
“Huh.” I said curiously. “How did that work? There weren’t any fights or anything?”
“No relationship is perfect.” Caleb told me. “There are always disagreements. But as long as the disagreements are resolved and your relationship comes out stronger then differences can turn out to be a good thing.”
“Hmmm.” I murmured. I looked at Caleb and chewed my lip nervously. Should I ask? I bolstered my courage and made myself just spit it out. “Is that something that you would ever consider?” I asked him.
He looked me right in the eyes. “Yes.” He said honestly. “Anna, I like you. And honestly, I’m not sure that I would be able to make you happy on my own.”
I blinked in surprise. “What do you mean by that?”
“I work a lot. I prefer to be alone most of the time. I don’t really like to socialize. I’ve seen how you are with the twins, and I wouldn’t be able to give you what you have with them.”
“So, you think that all four of us should date?” I asked him slowly, trying to wrap my mind around it.
He smiled. “I already feel closer to you than any other female I’ve ever met before.”
I nodded in understanding. “I know how you feel,” I told him quietly. “I never thought that I could have friends like this before, I never really understood relationships before.” My body relaxed now that I knew I wasn’t going to get any judgement from him for the way I felt.
We were both quiet for a minute, reflecting on our thoughts. “Um, Caleb. Do you still want me to stay here tonight? I mean, I’m not really ready for, you know, dating stuff.”
He gave me a smile. “Of course. That is, if you want to. I wasn’t going to try anything, I just wanted to be close to you.” He told me earnestly.
My heart melted a little bit. “Okay, I’m gonna go get in my PJs and I’ll be back.” After our conversation, I was much more awake, so I went back to my room at a fairly quick pace.
I decided to take a quick shower before brushing my teeth and putting on some sweats and a hoodie. I paused at the mirror. I had never really dated anyone before, but I was pretty sure that Kelsey wouldn’t be caught dead dressed like this in front of any of her dates.
I just shrugged at myself in the mirror. All of the guys were used to me being casual like this and still liked me anyway. Did they expect me to change into more of a typical girl if we started to date though? I bit my lip. I really had no idea what they expected of me.
I shook my head. What happened to the new Anna? I needed to be confident in myself and stop doubting. If I wanted to wear sweats to be comfortable then that is exactly what I would wear. I gave myself a confident nod in the mirror before heading back to Caleb’s room.
Caleb was waiting for me when I came back and gave me a happy grin. “I was worried I scared you away.”
I laughed. “Nope, it takes more than that.”
He folded back a corner of the blankets and motioned for me to get in. I snuggled underneath the covers. Instead of walking around to the other side of the bed, Caleb climbed in behind me and put his arm around me. I tensed up at first, not sure what he was doing. But when I realized he was just going to hold me I relaxed.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of him holding me here like this. I ran my hand up his arm and threaded my fingers through his.
“Goodnight, Anna.” He gave me a light kiss on my head.
“Goodnight, Caleb.” I raised our intertwined hands up to my lips and gave his hand a kiss.
I yawned. “We’ll talk to the twins tomorrow?”
He grunted. “Let me talk to them first. Man to man.”
I smiled to myself at the way he phrased it, but agreed. I was worried about what they would say. How would they feel about sharing me with Caleb?
I shifted nervously, and Caleb gave my hand a squeeze. “Don’t worry, Anna.” He murmured.
“I just don’t want to mess things up with the pack.” I whispered to him. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“You won’t.” he murmured to me. “All of us adore you.”
“I almost kissed James.” I blurted out to him.
“James?” he said in surprise.
“Yeah.” How would Caleb feel about me now?
“Hey,” he said gently and turned me around to face him. We laid there, our foreheads touching. “That wasn’t a criticism. I was just surprised. James isn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy type.”
“I know.” I hesitated. Now that Caleb and I were alone in the dark I felt like I could confess some more to him. “I feel like James lives isolated in himself sometimes, and I really like it when I can get inside his shell to see the real him.”
“I didn’t think he was capable of opening up.” Caleb said wryly. “But if anyone could do it, it would be you Anna.”
I blushed and I hoped that he wasn’t able to see it in the dark. He stroked my hair gently. “Anna, all of us see something special in you. I’m just happy to be the one here with you right now.”
His lips brushed mine gently before pulling away. I put my hand on his side and leaned forward to return the kiss. He took that as an invitation because his kiss was firmer this time. My heart started to beat faster as we laid together in the dark and traded gentle kisses. Caleb’s kisses were full of affection and heat was slowly building up inside of me.
He pulled me closer and slid his thigh between mine. I groaned and our kisses intensified. I slid my hand under his shirt and ran it up his muscular back. He might not be as big as some of the other guys in the pack, but this man was still lean and toned.
He slid his hand into my sweats and gave my bottom a squeeze. I gasped in pleasure and my body ached for more from him. To my disappointment he pulled away, panting. I tried to pull him back to me, but he resisted.
He groaned and tried to put some distance between us. “If we go much further I won’t be able to stop.”
“So don’t.” I said and reached for him again.
“Anna.” He moaned. “I wouldn’t feel right until we worked things out with the twins….and James.”
That made me pull away from him abruptly, my heart still pounding in my chest. He was right. What was I thinking? I had kissed three men and almost a fourth. How was t
hat fair to them?
“I don’t want to do anything shady or in secret.” I told him. “I want to do this right.”
“I agree.” Caleb murmured. “Let me hold you from behind again.”
I turned to give him my back. He put his arm around me and laid his palm flat against my stomach. I really wanted to squirm. My entire body was tingling in awareness everywhere he was touching me.
I scooted back a little so that his whole body was pressed up against mine.
He pulled his hips away from me. “Not a good idea right now, Anna.” He told me seriously.
I giggled a little to myself. At least I knew that I wasn’t the only one affected right now. It seemed like he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.
“I think you promised me a movie night earlier,” Caleb murmured into my hair.
“Yeah, what do you want to watch?” I asked. Maybe a distraction is what we both needed right now.
He reached behind him to grab his iPad from the nightstand and set it down in front of both of us. “Do you like Sherlock Holmes?”
I grinned. “I love it, especially if we are talking about the version with Benedict Cumberbatch.”
“Of course.” He chuckled.
“The next one comes out this January, I need to re-watch them all in preparation for it.” I told him seriously.
“Then let’s get started on that.” I could hear the smile in his voice as he opened his amazon account and pulled it up.
I sighed and tried to relax by slowing my breathing. I was going to have to calm down before I could go to sleep. I tried to focus on the movie instead of how close Caleb was. I was still surprised that Caleb had brought up the conversation about multiple mates.
I was starting to realize that things were going to be even more complicated than I thought. When I first got here and met the pack I had been terrified that they were going to hurt me but a little resigned to my fate.
Now that I had gotten to know the guys I couldn’t imagine any of them harming me. I also couldn’t imagine my life without them. I wasn’t trying to fight my instincts to flinch or hide from them as much. But the idea of really dating more than one man was going to present new challenges for me.
I wasn’t really sure how to act when dating one man, let alone three. I was just starting to get comfortable with showing casual affection when we were alone. How was I going to manage showing affection to one when the rest were standing there?
Eventually I was able to push aside my worries long enough to drift off to sleep with the warmth of Caleb against my back and his scent surrounding me.
Chapter 14
Mason
Caleb had given us the heads up last night that he was taking Anna, so we wouldn’t go looking for her. I was still surprised when I looked in her room to check on her, just to find her bed empty. Jason had sent a flicker of surprise in my direction too.
A part of me was glad that Caleb had watched over her last night while the house was full of wolves, especially after alcohol really started to flow. I have no doubt that Jase and I would have had to put at least a couple of wolves in their place if they hit on Anna.
Austin had needed us to police the party and make sure all of our wolves stayed under control. James had collected keys from everyone and told them to come see him when they wanted to leave. I knew James, if they weren’t stone cold sober then they weren’t going anywhere. The house was full of wolves who had stayed the night.
I headed to Caleb’s room now with Jason close on my heels. I doubted that he would have done anything with Anna, he was a nice guy. But if he hurt her…
Jason ran ahead of me to pounce on Caleb’s bed. I heard a masculine grunt and I suspected that Jason had landed uncomfortably on Caleb. I flicked on the lights. Anna was cuddled up to Caleb on his side of the bed and they were both rubbing their eyes from the sudden burst of light.
I narrowed my eyes. Anna never cuddled up to Jason and I, she always kept a little bit of distance between us. Jason flicked his eyes at me, he noticed it as well. The pups were stretching and yawning on the other side of the bed. I went to sit next to them and they wagged their little tails in greeting.
“What the fuck, guys?” Caleb grumbled. “It’s not even five o’clock in the morning.”
“Yeah, Austin wants the house cleaned up before everyone goes to their work details this morning.” I told him.
Anna groaned and pulled the covers over her head. I tugged gently on the blanket. “Don’t worry, pretty girl. James has special plans for you.”
She let me pull the blanket down, so I could see her face. “What plans?” she asked suspiciously.
“Training starts today!” Jason announced cheerfully.
Anna frowned. “When James said he wanted to start today, I assumed he meant at a reasonable hour. Like after work.”
“Nope.” I laughed. “James doesn’t believe in training at reasonable hours.”
“Uggg.” Anna threw back the covers and rolled out of the bed. I was happy to see that she was fully dressed in sweats and a hoodie. I leaned closer to pick up on any scents that would give away activity from last night. I could smell Caleb all over her, but that was expected since she had slept in his bed.
“Uh, Mason.” She looked at me with accusation in her eyes. “Are you smelling me right now?”
Caleb met my eyes and shook his head. He knew exactly what I was doing right now.
Jason laughed. “Yeah, Mason. You’re being weird right now.” He gave me a shit eating grin. I narrowed my eyes at him, that shithead was supposed to be on my side.
Anna just shrugged it off. “Jase, can you bring the pups out, so I can get dressed for whatever James has planned for me?”
“Yeah, Anna.” He answered. He shot a couple thoughts my way, he was leaving it up to me to talk to Caleb. Caleb would probably be less intimidated if it were just me and not both of us.
Jason left with the pups and Anna followed behind him, still yawning. The door swung shut behind Anna. Caleb and I just looked at each other in silence for a moment.
Caleb sat up in the bed and looked at me. “I’m guessing it’s time for a man to man talk?”
I nodded. “Now is as good a time as any.”
Caleb cleared his throat. “I like Anna and she likes me. But she also likes you guys.”
I didn’t say anything and let him continue his thought.
“In my pack the females had more than one mate.” He told me, watching for my reaction.
“Our mom was a piece of shit who would sleep with anyone who would have her. At least until she finally managed to sink her claws into the pack master.” I told him bluntly.
He exhaled and looked at me sharply. “Anna isn’t like that.”
I sighed. “I know, just let me finish. We had two other females in the pack, both of them had more than one mate.”
Caleb nodded in understanding.
“Our mom was proud of the way that she used sex to manipulate and destroy men. When Jase and I got older we both agreed that one and done was the best policy when it came to human females. We have always been cautious about getting attached.”
“Obviously, we know that every woman in the world isn’t like our mother. But both of us have a fear deep down that we will get taken in and used by a female like that.”
Caleb’s face softened. “Anna is someone who will love each of her mates with her whole heart. I know that you guys give her something that I can’t. I don’t feel jealous about that, I just feel comforted that she is happy.”
“I know what you mean.” I told him quietly. “If we stay focused on making Anna happy, then we won’t have problems.”
Caleb gave me a rueful smile. “There’s going to be problems. There’s going to be times when we all need her and there’s only one of her. What matters is that we can work out those problems in a way that makes us all happy.”
I huffed. He was right. “Jason and I had assumed we would probably have to work this out
with Austin.”
Caleb leaned back with a sigh. “And James.”
My eyebrows rose. “James?” I thought back to times when James had been around Anna. I had noticed that he was softer with her than the rest of us, but I had just assumed it was because she was a female. Softer wasn’t really a word I’d use to describe James, maybe a little less rough around the edges would be a better description of how he was with her.
“Yes, James.” Caleb confirmed.
“I think we should just talk to Austin first.” I told him slowly. Austin was the final authority on things that happened within his pack. If he agreed to this, then James would have to fall in line.
I could picture Anna being happy with Caleb. He would be sweet and gentle with her but James? He was an asshole on his good days.
I left Caleb to go back to sleep while I went to go wake up the rest of the pack, this house wasn’t going to clean itself. I was not looking forward to having this conversation with Austin, so it would be best to put him in a good mood beforehand.
Chapter 15
Anna
I got dressed and brushed my teeth quickly. I was happy that James was going to keep his word and teach me how to fight. But 5 am, really?
I jogged down to the gym to try and wake up a little. I didn’t want to show up looking groggy, I knew James wouldn’t go easy on me for that. He would just be annoyed and give me a rough time. I walked into the gym cautiously, not sure what to expect.
James was dressed in a tank top that showed off his lean physique along with some workout shorts. He gestured for me to meet him over on the mats.
“Have you had any training or experience so far?” He asked.
“Good morning, James.” I replied pleasantly. “And no, I’ve never done anything like this before.” I think part of the reason that I was looking forward to this so much is because I’ve always avoided confrontation or cowered in the face of it. I wanted these lessons with James to give me some new skills, but also make me more confident in the face of adversity.
He just nodded. “We are going to start with the most basic moves then. I’m going to show you what you need to do today. You are going to practice on your own time and I expect you to have fully mastered them by the next time I see you.”
Finding the Fire Within Page 13
