by GR Griffin
"But you are unsure." Lenneth noted, then sighed. "None of this inspires confidence in me about the people who would follow Hel as their Goddess."
"We've never had access to a Valkyrie before. Let alone one that has been rendered mortal. But you are mine, under my protection. That alone would be enough for many to not dare make a move against you." A bland smile from him. "They simply fear what form my vengeance would take if my betrothed was harmed."
"Ah but that does not include Mystina." Lenneth tried not to be affected by his words, to not feel flattered that Lezard would become vengeful if something were to happen to her. Nor did she allow herself to feel anger at the thought of needing his, of needing ANY man's protection. In this world, or any other.
"Not Mystina." He agreed.
"She is either very brave, or very stupid." Lenneth announced. "I've not yet decided which."
"She is foolish. Reckless and ambitious, which is a bad combination." Lezard told her. "She wants so badly to earn Queen Hel's recognition. There is little she won't do towards that goal."
"If she is such a threat, you should neutralize her." Advised Lenneth.
"If I...dispose of Mystina, I would have to dispose of a third of the people in Flenceburg!" Lezard exclaimed. "There are more like her...there always will be more. People lusting for power, prestige, wealth and anything you can imagine. Queen Hel's rule is such, that it breeds malice and greed. People conspiring against one another, waiting for the chance to betray, to seize power from those who have it."
"It's not a very peaceful way to live." Lenneth shuddered. But she wasn't surprised. Hel thrived on adversity, on being a corrupting influence. She thrilled to making mortals corrupt, enjoying the sins they committed, and the price she exacted for their misdeeds. Setting up a whole system where those in power had to constantly watch their backs, to guard themselves against those who lusted zealously for their positions, was very much in fashion with the underworld's queen. Hel had always loved those that were ambitious, those that would damn themselves to realize their dark desires.
"No, it is not." Agreed Lezard, his voice and expression both tired. Lenneth gazed at him, realizing he was at the top of the world where Hel's power structure was concerned. That position was a precarious one at best, Lezard must have to constantly guard against people like Mystina who wanted to topple him from his perch.
"How do you stand it?" Lenneth asked at last. He did not pretend to misunderstand her, merely adjusting his glasses as he considered her question.
"I try to take it a day at a time. It's all I can do. With my position, there is no where else for me to go but down. And that is a plunge I will not go easily to." An odd twist of his lips, neither smirk nor smile. "But it is tiring to be constantly on guard. To always have to wonder just who will try to replace me next. Many are not like Mystina....they are not so vocal with their envy."
It still sounded like a terrible way to live to Lenneth. "Are you not sick of it all?"
"I am." His easy admission surprised her. "But what else can I do to change things?"
She really didn't know how to answer that question. "Do you have anyone you can truly trust? Or is even those friendships you share, simply lies?"
A shrug from him. "I cannot know what is in the true hearts of those I would call friend. Perhaps even they seek to usurp me from my seat."
It was foreign concept not to be able to trust anyone. Lenneth had had her sisters, the other Valkyries, even the einherjar to place her trust in. But Lezard, he had no one. And that gave Lenneth an insight to him. It was no wonder he wasn't so quick with his feelings, so easy to feel something more for her than an attempt at friendship. He had probably never had a meaningful relationship with anyone, not even the Goddess he so worshipped.
Lezard had always been on guard, always watchful for the next betrayal. He probably never truly relaxed. Something inside Lenneth was stirring, a deep sympathy for him filling her. Along with guilt, Lenneth realizing that even she was someone he could not truly trust. Not when she plotted to betray him in order to find proof of Hel's deception to Odin.
It distressed her, because Lenneth was finding she wanted to be that safe heaven for Lezard. To be the one person he could let his guard down with. And yet she couldn't truly be that person, not with what she planned to do. Nor could she abandon her plan, even if her heart so enchanted by love, told her too. She was simply that determined to return to her old life, to become a Valkyrie once more. This time with Lezard was meant to be nothing but an unpleasant memory, one she thought she'd be able to bury once cured of Odin's love spell.
"You look troubled my lady." Lezard said. "Does it distress you so, my circumstance?"
"Yes." Admitted Lenneth with a nod. "I cannot imagine living a life so utterly devoid of trust."
"I suppose it is as foreign a concept as the thought of being able to truly trust someone is to me." Lezard told her. "Do not look so disheartened Lenneth. I am used to it."
"You shouldn't have to be!" She protested.
"It doesn't change the reality of my situation." He said.
"It's no way to live." Lenneth shook her head no, frowning.
"Maybe so. But I've little choice in the matter. To begin to trust now would ultimately be my downfall." He gave her a shrewd look. "You would do well to guard against trusting so easily yourself."
"Does that apply to you too?" Lenneth demanded, more than a little defensive in the moment.
"I would like it if you trusted me, but after what I've told you, I don't expect you to. Especially not to a man who can't afford to trust back." Lezard explained. "But know that above anyone else in Flenceburg, I alone have your best interests at heart."
"Because we are to be married?"
He seemed to hesitate before answering. "Yes."
She sighed. "That's not a good enough reason to give you my trust."
"Then...think of it this way. Your King, Odin. He entrusted your care to me. I would be a fool to neglect a gift from a God, even one I do not actively worship as my own."
She frowned at him. "I think I'll be more curse than blessing to you."
"You are wrong about that." Lezard argued. But he wouldn't say why he was so certain about that. "You are a treasure, Lenneth. The greatest gift I have ever been given."
"Even more so than your kingdom and your wealth?" Lenneth asked, surprised at how much value he put on her. He nodded, allowing a small smile to cross his face. "I did not think a follower of Hel would find a Valkyrie all that valuable. Especially one who has a reputation for not wanting to be tied down by a woman." That last was said almost teasingly, Lezard turning flustered.
"I'm glad I never married. For it left me free for you." She tried not to be, but Lenneth grew flattered at those simple words.
"Maybe it's just the enchantment...or maybe you just have a way with words....But you certainly know how to flatter a woman."
"I'm not trying to be flattering in the moment." Lezard protested. "I am simply speaking the truth."
"And that might be the most flattering of all!" Lenneth pointed out.
Lezard was still flustered, fingers fidgeting with his glasses. "The wedding is tomorrow. Are you truly prepared for it?"
"I am as ready as I will ever be." Lenneth sighed then.
"It will be a busy day." Lezard warned her. "Even after the ceremony is completed, there will be expectations of us..."
"Yes. Everyone will want a moment of our time. It sounds utterly exhausting, the celebrating that will follow." She tried not to grimace, Lenneth not looking forward to the parties that would follow the ceremony.
"We mortals do like an excuse to party." Lezard told her with a smile. "And it has been too long since we've had a reason to celebrate."
"Just...just try not to celebrate too heavily." Lenneth advised him.
"I won't. I've learned my lesson where drink is concerned." He grimaced. "I will take care. You needn't fear another drunken repeat of last night."
That was only a sma
ll relief, for Lenneth was fearing their wedding night regardless of Lezard's state of mind. Her nerves only increased as the minutes sped by, Lenneth knowing the hour of their joining was getting closer and closer with every second they spent talking. Lenneth feared she'd be a bundle of nerves before tomorrow night came, and knew not how to distract herself.
"Lenneth...."
"The others will surely be curious about our long absence." She said abruptly, rising from her seat. "We should return to the dining room."
"Ah....of course." Lezard agreed, and offered her his arm. Lenneth hesitated a moment before taking it. Somehow she managed not to tremble or shy away from their close proximity to one another. It wasn't an impressive feat, but it was a small victory, Lenneth managing to school her reactions in response to his nearness. To any who looked at them, they would never be able to tell Lenneth was affected by her nearness to Lezard.
They walked in relative silence to the dining room. But they did not go immediately inside, Lezard pausing them. "Lenneth...for what it is worth. I am sorry."
"Sorry?"
"For everything." His brow furrowed, his eyes looking troubled. "It is not an easy situation I've put you in. I know you could have done better with a match in another kingdom....but I..."
He had gone silent, Lenneth looking at him quizzically. "Oh Lezard. Do not blame yourself for this. It was not you who made the decision I come here. You have nothing to apologize for in regard to my King's decree." But he didn't look relieved by her words. If anything Lezard appeared more guilty and frustrated. Lenneth couldn't imagine what was troubling him.
"Lenneth I...."
Suddenly the doors opened, servants hurrying past them on errands. The loud voices of the diners carried out into the hall, Lezard grimacing as he abruptly stopped what he had been trying to say. Lenneth gave him one last look, before glancing into the dining room. It appeared everyone was looking at them, all smiles and curiosity a they waited for their Lord and lady to rejoin them at the table.
Lezard would sigh, and guide Lenneth into the room. He would make no further effort to continue the self blame he had been exhibiting just outside the room's doors. Lenneth hoped that meant he was relieved of any guilt he felt he played in her arrival in Flenceburg. She couldn't imagine why he would feel the need to blame himself, not when any Valkyrie could have come to him. It was just Lenneth's own misfortune that had brought her here, the Valkyrie punished by her King for the failure to save her sister.
Lenneth tried not to think about Silmeria, not wanting to go into a painful brooding about her sister's fate. She'd lose herself instead to talking with those seated near to her, occasionally sneaking side glances at Lezard. He still looked uneasy, expression troubled. But Lenneth couldn't understand why! Nor did she know how to alleviate him of his troubles, the Valkryie knowing she had concerns of her own. Ones that would plague her now, and well into the night. Try as she might, Lenneth had a feeling she would not be sleeping easy in the coming hours.
---
...
Chapter 31 : Thirty One
Lezard had barely been able to sleep the night leading into the day of his impending marriage to Lenneth. He had spent hours, tossing and turning, at times pacing the floor of his chambers. He had tried many things to calm himself down, Lezard reading a book, drinking cold tea, even messing around in his workshop. But he found his mind did not want to concentrate on the work at hand. All Lezard had really been able to think about was Lenneth, and the fact that they were to be married in just a few short hours.
He was excited but nervous, stomach tied in knots over what was about to happen. This marriage, this ceremony, would be the culmination of his bargain with Odin, Lezard at last gaining Lenneth for his own. There would be no going back, no reneging on the deal from either party. Lezard had often worried in the weeks he had spent waiting for Lenneth's arrival, worried about her reaction to him but also over the chance that Odin would change his mind, and not give up his platinum haired Valkyrie.
Sometimes, Lezard still feared that Odin would snatch Lenneth away. One could never know with Gods, and the experiences Lezard had had with Queen Hel, showed that the deities took as often as they gave.
But so far all signs pointed to the wedding happening. As long as Odin lived up to his part of the bargain, Lezard would do the same. Even now, dressed in his new suit, he kept Odin's pendant on him. He didn't dare risk misplacing it, Lezard knowing it was his only link to the ruler of the heavens. But he did not try to call on Odin, not even one time. This day would be special, a day free of harassment from either Hel or Odin. It was to be his one day where Lezard would not have to worry about either deity, the mage free of their plots and manipulations.
Unfortunately for him, Lezard could not rid himself of the nervous energy he was filled with. It kept him tense during breakfast, Lezard barely able to swallow down part of his meal. His unease was so apparent, that it drew the attention of the other men present at the breakfast. Some had been quick to tease him, Randolf wondering if the great bachelor that Lezard was, was getting cold feet.
Lezard had shot him a dirty look. Backing out of a marriage with Lenneth was the last thing Lezard wanted to do! But the teasing continued, the men not helping Lezard's nervous state. There had been no women present to run interference, not even Mystina's group had been present to provide a distraction. Breakfast had been men only, as per the traditions of the wedding day. Lenneth would be secloistered, surrounded only by the women who would help her to get ready for the wedding. Lezard could only hope the women weren't being as merciless with their teasing as Randolf's group had been with Lezard.
There had been much to do before the noon time wedding. Rituals that had to be accomplished before the actual ceremony. Lezard and the men ended up in the castle bathhouse, the mage having to purify himself before the wedding. The water had been freezing, Lezard wondering if he would catch a chill and be too sick to do anything on his wedding night. Especially after soaking a near hour in the cold water.
The hot heat that followed the cold, purifying waters was a welcome relief. Lezard thought he'd melt as he went from one extreme temperature to the next. The water chased away the chill he felt, and did much to abolish the chattering of his teeth. He'd have to wait until he had thoroughly dried before Lezard could put on his wedding clothes. And all the while, his nervous, nauseous feeling continued.
It was customary to drink, and drink heavily on the day of one's marriage. But Lezard was having none of it, remembering well how upset Lenneth had been the last time he came to her drunk. It disappointed the men, many of them not holding back in the amount that THEY were drinking. A drink might have made Lezard feel better, but ultimately it would have been a disaster. And all because alcohol and an empty stomach did not mix well together.
He fidgeted as if he was drunk, Lezard unable to remain still. He constantly walked about the room, ignoring the laugher and jokes of his companions. Sometimes he'd pause in front of a mirror, looking himself over critically. He wasn't used to wearing such a light colored gray, and worried it had been a mistake in choice. He felt much better about the under shirt, it's black sleeves and lacy cravat caressing over his skin. The gold clip contained a large amethyst, which only made his eyes blaze all the brighter.
He'd play with his sleeves, and run his hands down his jacket, wondering why time was going by so slowly. He could hear the loud murmur of voices that the door could not quite muffle. Many of the guests were already in attendance, crowded inside the nearby ball room. It was the only room large enough to hold as many people as had been invited, and even then it was a tight fit.
"You need to calm down." Sameer had entered the room, having skipped over the bathhouse ritual.
"I am calm." Lezard insisted.
Sameer gave him a disbelieving look. "You're as white as sheet. Don't tell me you aren't a mess!"
"Ah Sameer..." Randolf looped an arm across the smaller man's shoulders. "Lezard is just getting nervo
us. It's his first time getting married. Even to a beauty like Lady Lenneth, a man must be loathe to give up his freedom!"
"I'm not like you." Lezard said stiffly. "My first time getting married will be my last."
"Ah...of course. I did not mean to imply otherwise." Randolf quickly apologized. "It's just you are so inexperienced with this kind of commitment...."
"Randolf is right about that." Agreed Sameer. "This is a first for you. The first of many new and hopefully happy experiences." Lezard said nothing to this, knowing the happy experiences were largely dependent on how receptive his bride, Lenneth was to him.
He could have gone off on spree of depressing thoughts, ones that would have only made him feel worse, and add to his tension. But fortunately for Lezard, he had Randolf and Sameer to distract him from that kind of thinking.
"Just think on how satisfying this union will be." Sameer suggested. "How good it will feel to have a partner that is both friend and lover."
"We're a long way from being either one of those things I'm afraid." Sighed Lezard.
"It may be a long journey for you both, but the pay off will ultimate exceed your expectations." Sameer said wisely.
"Does Lezard even have time for a long journey?" wondered Randolf out loud. "I mean....you know what our Queen is plotting. How impatient she is for..."
"Let us not talk about such things on this special day!" interrupted Sameer. "Our Lord has enough of his mind, without having to worry about our Queen's plots. Or the effect her schemes will have on his newly forming relationship with Lady Lenneth."
"I'm just trying to point out he may not have much time. He'll have to strike hard and fast, to win her heart."
"Randolf, winning love is a lot different from winning a battle." Sameer said.
"Not different enough in my opinion." Randolf's comment earned Sameer's frown, the man looking exasperated.
"Lezard, don't listen to this fool."
"Hey!" protested the blonde man.
Sameer ignored him. "You need to find a balance, a pace that is neither too fast, nor too slow. It's unfortunate, but one thing Randolf IS right about, is the time limit our Queen puts on your relationship with Lady Lenneth. You have only until the alliance falls apart, Hels' betrayal of Odin made known to all. If she does not love you before that happens, then I fear she will NEVER."
