by GR Griffin
"What troubles your dreaming mind so?" He was always so concerned for her, even now. His fingers would sweep back the forward falling strands of her unbound hair, Lezard keeping his gaze on her face.
"It's nothing." Lenneth dismissed. It earned her a frown from him, Lezard shaking his head no.
"It can't be nothing." He pointed out. "Nor can it be very restful, to be plagued by such dreams."
"No, it cannot be." Lenneth agreed with a sigh. "But I doubt talking about it would help...."
"It couldn't hurt to try." Lezard argued. He was still touching her hair, still holding onto her wrist. Those touches were a little distracting, Lenneth liking them more than she would have just hours ago. "Please Lenneth...let me lend my ear to your troubles."
It was a risky thing he offered, for Lenneth could have easily said what haunted her dreams was thoughts of him. But she couldn't be that cruel to him, Lenneth sighing. "It's about my sisters." Understanding colored his expression, his thumb caressing over the pulse point in her wrist. It was distracting, but not enough to get her to forget what she was saying. "Their uncertain fates, it troubles me. Haunts me, whether I am awake or asleep."
"But it is worse when you sleep, isn't it?" Lezard asked, and she nodded.
"Yes. At least when I am awake there are distractions. I don't ever completely forget what has happened, what could be happening even now....but it is easier to endure my worries during the day."
"Is it the enchantment?" His expression did not betray what he was thinking as he asked that question. "Does fighting it help to distract you from your sisters' plight?"
She gave careful consideration to it, reaching out to touch his hand in reassurance. "Partly yes. But not just the enchantment. It's been the wedding, the distraction of it and dealing with Mystina...in meeting with your people...there's been much happening around me...to the point I cannot always be consumed with thoughts of my sister's fates."
"Do you welcome those distractions?" Lezard asked, a contemplative look in his eyes.
Lenneth didn't have to ask what he meant by that. "I do and I don't. Fighting the enchantment is a burden in a different way....It would easily consume me if I let it...To give in is to forget all that matters to me, until my only concern is thoughts of pleasing you." His expression flickered, an almost disturbed look in his eyes. "The enchantment would ruin me." She told him. "It would steal away that which makes me myself. I would be a shadow of my former self, ruled so easily by the one who kissed me awake...."
"Odin..." Lezard growled out the God's name, eyes looking angry then. She quickly touched his lips, silencing him before he could blasphemy against her King.
"He was only doing what he had to. A failure of my magnitude cannot go unpunished. He had to send a message to all other Valkyrie that such failure would not be tolerated." She slowly lowered her hand, Lenneth's expression downcast. "It was the right thing to do. The only thing, given I let my beloved sister be taken by the vampires...."
"You sound as though you are trying to convince yourself of that!" His heated exclamation drew her gaze upright, Lenneth frowning at Lezard. He moved to grasp both of her hands now, as though fearing she would try to get up and leave. "Lenneth, you have suffered enough. You lost your sister to the vampires. You saw the Valkyries and einherjar that accompanied you slaughtered...You alone survived the encounter...I think you punish yourself enough, without Odin adding to it."
"But..."
"I understand the need to not let failure stand. But it was pure malice to punish you for surviving! Because Lenneth, that is exactly what he's done!" Lezard was angry, his gaze looking like amethyst flames.
She couldn't match his anger, not in the moment. Instead Lenneth nearly whispered, staring at him unsettled. "Why does this upset you so?"
"Because I care for you!" It was almost as if he had blurted it out without thinking, Lezard looking as startled as Lenneth felt in the moment.
"You care for me?" She had to break free of his hand's hold, in order to catch at his face. Lezard had tried to look away from her at that moment, and even when she forced his gaze towards her, his expression was shifty. "What does that mean?"
His hands reached to cover the backs of hers on his face. "Lenneth, I like you. I think you are a beautiful, intelligent woman. Kind and with merit. One who deserves more than I can give you. I admire your spirit, the strengths you've shown. You haven't given in to the enchantment, even with the promise of relief it can offer you. Instead you fight it, and endure the fear you have for your sisters' fates. I think there is very few men who could not feel for you, once they got to know you." Lezard let out a shaky breath, almost chuckling then. "We've barely had any time together, and already you've impressed upon me your spirit. I enjoy our encounters, and I want more nights like this past one. I want to know you, and not the Lenneth whose very personality would be twisted by Odin's enchantment!"
Her eyes had widened by the time he had finished, Lenneth taken aback by the passion, the heat in which he had spoken about her. She felt warm inside, wondering if it was possible for this man to actually care for her. It wasn't love, Lezard himself had been careful to avoid using that word. But he seemed sincere in that he liked her. Liked her beyond the pleasures he could take from her body. Liked her enough to be concerned about her, to be upset by the punishment Odin had given her.
"Lezard..." She actually moved her fingers to do a brief caress on his cheeks. "Thank you."
His tone was gruff now, as though the mage was embarrassed. "You shouldn't have to thank someone for caring."
"Even when that caring is something I never expected to earn?" Lenneth questioned. "Lezard, you continue to surprise me. Oftentimes in pleasant ways. You don't behave anything like I expected a minion of Hel to act. You are kind, caring. Considerate of my situation. You don't seek to back stab and betray me, to use and abuse me. You seek to protect me from those that would. It makes me wonder if you are the exception, or if there are others in Hel's employ who can also be good and kind."
"We're not all monsters." Agreed Lezard. "But Lenneth, do be careful who you decide to trust."
"Yes, of course." She agreed with a nod. Lenneth lowered her hands then, fingers gliding free of Lezard's face. He no longer needed forcing to look at her, Lezard seeming to relax more than he had been just seconds ago.
"I still don't think it's right." Lezard grumbled to her. "Not just the use of the enchantment on you, but all of it. Odin should have been glad to have at least one of his valued Valkyries returned to him...."
Privately, Lenneth agreed, though she wouldn't speak out loud a word against Odin's actions. "Odin had to do what he felt was right..." Lezard made a rude noise at that. "If he hadn't sought to punish me, I doubt very much I'd be here..."
"You'd have been the one to lead a hunting party after Brahms and your sister." Lezard guessed correctly.
"Yes...it's not a task I would have looked forward to. But Silmeria's soul needs to be saved. And that can only be accomplished if she is killed before she has her first feeding." Lenneth looked downwards, gazing at her hands folded on her lap. "I can only pray Silmeria is strong enough to resist the temptations of the blood calling to her. Just as I can pray my sister Hrist makes it to her in time..."
A comfort was given, Lezard's hand once again touching hers. She glanced up at him, her own eyes troubled. His gaze was back to being concerned. "Is Hrist strong enough to go up against Brahms?"
"I truly don't know." Lenneth whispered. "She is the strongest of we three sisters...She might succeed where I failed." She blinked, though her eyes were not wet. "I know that at least one of my sisters will be slain....maybe even both of them. Hrist might get to Silmeria before Brahms can intercede. She might kill her, only to be killed by Brahms. And I will never know for sure what has happened to either one of them!" Her anguish had slipped into her voice, Lenneth reaching up with a hand to brush back some of her hair.
"And that is what really bothers you." Noted Lezar
d, his eyes full of sympathy. "The not knowing what will happen, it tortures you every chance it gets." She could only nod in agreement. Lezard fell silent, a contemplative look on his face.
Lenneth sat quietly next to him, her own thoughts thinking of her sisters. Wondering if Hrist's hunting party had reached the vampire's island home. Wondering how many would die in the fight that would break out. Lenneth even thought of the fear Silmeria might go through, knowing her own sister had come to kill her. Would Silmeria lay down gladly for Hrist's blade, or would she fight for her right to live? Lenneth supposed it all depended on whether or not Silmeria had fed yet.
If Silmeria had indeed fed already, she might lust for Valkyrie blood. Might yearn for the treat within the battle maidens' veins. How much more trying would this ordeal be, if Hrist had to fight to keep Silmeria from taking her neck? Hrist was not unfeeling. She would not enjoy having to fight and kill her own sister. Even if Silmeria had become a soulless monster, Hrist's duty would make her heart heavy. But neither would Hrist shirk such a duty. If she couldn't save Silmeria's soul, she'd still kill her. All to keep one less monster from walking the realms of Creation.
Silmeria was doomed. Of that Lenneth was certain. She would die regardless of her soul's state, or at least the attempt would be made. Lenneth didn't know how many soldiers Odin would spare to this mission. Especially with the situation as it was in Asgard, the undead always on constant press towards seizing control of the realm. Odin's forces couldn't be divided too thinly. The majority had to remain behind, to concentrate on the battles that took place on Idavoll.
They had suffered far too many losses. Too many Valkyries taken from their ranks. Silmeria was lost to them, as was Lenneth. Hrist might die before this was all over with. And there had been other Valkyries, Lenneth remembering the three that had accompanied her as part of Silmeria's escort. Even one Valkyrie was too much of a loss, but five or six in so short a time? It was unheard of and unacceptable!
She let out an unhappy sigh, Lenneth understanding it wasn't just the fate of her sisters that would torture her. It was the situation in Asgard, the war that she herself had been a part of for so long. Of course news trickled down into the other realms, but it wouldn't be the same to hear second hand the rumors of what was going on up there. Lenneth knew that words could easily be twisted, the truth being distorted or embellished. Nor would they be privy to the behind the scenes dealings that went on during the war. It wasn't all that unheard of for lies to be told, lies meant to comfort the populace, to keep the people of the realms from panicking. Lenneth was no longer privileged enough to be anything but another mortal, one who had no right to the many hidden details of the war.
She wasn't able to content herself with her new found status as civilian. There was so much she was missing out on, Lenneth wanting, needing to return to fight and command armies in Odin's name. She thought the only true peace she could find, was in the swinging of her blade, Lenneth fighting for the glory of the realms. She didn't know if it was possible to return to being a Valkyrie Goddess. But Lenneth knew she had to make every effort to try. Even if it meant betraying the kind man sitting next to her. The kind man who even now continued to care for her, Lezard breaking the silence with a question.
"What if...What if there was a way for you to get that information?" His expression was guarded, Lezard watching Lenneth's reaction carefully. "If there was a way to find out the fates of your two sisters....would you take it?"
Lenneth wanted to immediately say yes, but she was wary enough to know it wasn't a simple solution Lezard was contemplating. "I would do just about anything to know what has happened to Hrist and Silmeria. But I am aware the information might come at a price I am not willing to pay...."
"I guess that is something you will have to think about then..." Lezard said, then sighed. "There IS a way." She watched him, noting the hesitation he showed in speaking. "You know I have access to a deity...one who has a vested interested in the dealings in Asgard."
"Hel." Lenneth couldn't keep from hissing, understanding blooming with in her. "I would not ask your Queen for any favors!"
"I didn't think you would." Lezard was calm. "But if I were to ask for you?"
"I would not have you do this!" Lenneth protested vehemently. "To openly ask Hel for anything, invites disaster to your soul."
"I think my soul is stained enough, that a little more smut won't matter much in the long run." He tried for a glib answer, but Lenneth saw how disturbed the state of his soul made Lezard feel.
"No. Lezard, do not do this. Not for me. Not for a woman you only just come to care about." She shook her head, distressed. "Even if you loved me, I would not want you endangering yourself in this way. I do not need to know. Not at the cost Hel would demand!"
"But Lenneth...."
"No, Lezard, no! Put such thoughts out of your mind." She insisted firmly. "I can endure the not knowing."
"Can you really?" Lezard demanded, which only increased Lenneth's upset. "Can you really go months, years without knowing for sure what happened to your sisters?"
"It will get better in time..." But even to herself, Lenneth sounded unconvincing. "Eventually, I will come to accept the fact that I will never know for certain what happened to Hrist and Silmeria."
"Lenneth..."
"Promise me." Lenneth demanded, reaching for his hands. "Promise me you will not, either openly, or behind my back, seek answers from your queen about this matter."
He gave her a sad smile then. "You concern yourself with my soul even now. Even knowing how blackened it must be from years in Hel's service."
She stared unblinking at him, expression earnest. "From what you told me, you were never given a choice on what would happen. On what God you would follow. It is unfortunate, but undeniable that your own soul was jeopardized, by the very magic they had you learn. If I could...I would keep you from gaining any more sin on your soul..."
"This concern, this care....Is it the enchantment that makes you speak this way?"
She managed not to blush. "I don't believe the enchantment is at work." Lenneth told him, still holding his hands. "I simply cannot stand to see a good man in Hel's clutches." He started to make a protest, Lenneth speaking over him. "Yes, it's true. I don't know you very well. Maybe it's foolish of me, but my instincts have rarely let me down in the past. And they tell me there is good within you. A good Hel would snuff out. I don't know what crimes, what sins she has had you commit, but it is not to late to atone for them."
"Would that it were that simple..." Lezard sighed. "I've done so much in her name....there's little hope for my after life..." His gaze was unwavering as he looked at her. "I've no doubt where I will end up when I die...it would take a miracle to change that fate..."
She wanted to urge him to not give up hope, even as Lenneth realized the truth in what he said. There was little chance that Hel would give up his soul, not after all the time and expense the Goddess had put into grooming Lezard into the perfect minion for her. Hel held onto her people, tortured them, used them even once they were dead. She built up the humans, only to corrupt and destroy them. Laughing all the while as these mortals fought with each other for positions in her earthly kingdoms.
"Promise me..." Lenneth repeated, squeezing his hands. "Make whatever vows you must, but swear to me now, that you will not ask Hel for this favor..."
Lezard hesitated a long moment, Lenneth staring at him, her expression urgent in it's worry. She feared he would not make the promise, that Lezard would gamble away more of his soul for a chance to please Lenneth. And that was something that was simply unacceptable to her!
"All right..." Lezard said at last, a heavy sigh of exasperation escaping him. "I won't ask Hel about your sisters." Lenneth couldn't fill with relief, still gripping Lezard's hands as she waited for him to seal the promise. "But Lenneth...if I can obtain the information another way. A way that doesn't involve Hel or any of her agents, then you better believe I will!"
"Yes,
I understand." Lenneth nodded, Lezard twisting in her grip so that his hands were now returning the hold. He'd go as far as to lace their fingers together, Lezard lifting their joined hands to press one over his heart. The other he pressed against Lenneth's chest, linking them as proof of the promise he was making to her.
"I won't ask Hel about this." He promised. "But if I can find a way to give you peace of mind, then Lenneth? I promise I will use those means to do so."
"Thank you." Lenneth said, allowing some of her tension to ease out of her. Slowly, Lezard released their hands, the man smiling though it wasn't as happy as it had been when she had first awakened next to him. She couldn't guess for sure why that was, though Lenneth wondered if Lezard was unsettled by the talk about his soul. That he could be disturbed about it, was another thing that had tested Lenneth's preconceived notions. For the Valkyrie had always assumed those who dedicated themselves to Hel's service, cared nothing for their souls and the after life awaiting them.
Lezard abruptly looked away from her, his gaze seeking out the open window. He seemed to be noting the position of the sun in the sky, which prompted Lenneth to ask a question. "How long do you think we slept for?"
"Not enough, given how late we stayed up talking." Answered Lezard. He glanced at her, and chuckled, the man slowly shaking off his unease. "No doubt most in the castle are passed out as well."
"Understandable, given how long the party was expected to last." Lenneth said, then gave a rueful shake of her head. "It sure surprised me. Just how much the nobility of Flenceburg like to party."
"Since we don't often get to do so, I'm afraid my people do go overboard when given a chance to celebrate something." His eyes had darkened, though as to what thoughts he was having, Lezard did not reveal. He quickly shook his head, brown bangs falling rakishly over his brow. "Whatever the case, it will be a while before anyone rouses themselves for a meal. What say we skipped the dining room, and take a lunch into town?"
