‘Um . . .’ My brain froze as he put his hand under my chin and tilted it up towards him. ‘You’re thinking about . . . OH MY GOD!’
Tom leapt back as a red-headed boy lurched forward to the left of us and threw up all over the wall. His puke stank of boiled alcohol.
‘Ewwww,’ I said as he staggered off, with Tom chasing after him, cursing at his back. So much for our romantic moment, I thought as I turned back to find my mates. Snogsville just turned into Puketown.
For the rest of the party, I hardly saw Tom apart from him rushing around with a bucket and large bottle of disinfectant. I tried flirting with a few boys but my heart wasn’t really in it. I only had eyes for Tom and he only had time to clean up before his parents got back.
When the clock chimed midnight, I watched as Henry snogged Pia, Meg snogged Josh, Flo even got Charlie, although it looked as though she had him in an arm-lock. I stood alone and watched Tom, his face like thunder, as he marched the redheaded puker over to the front door and threw him out. Plan A. Not sorted. Happy New Year to me, I thought. On my own again. Bummer.
11
‘Ohmigod,’ said Pia on the other end of the phone. ‘Have you seen it?’
‘How could I miss it?’ I said. ‘It’s all over the third page of the paper. Dad hit the roof. I’ve never seen him like this.’ He’d stormed in around eight that morning with a newspaper in his hand and a vein pulsing angrily on his forehead. He was ranting about a leak in the building. At first I thought he was talking about the plumbing, then he slammed the paper down in front of me and Charlie. There it was. Exclusive by Bridget O’Reilly. Super-Rich Kids Not So Super? was the heading. Lonely teens at the top was the line underneath. She’d written a piece about rich teenagers with quotes from a close anonymous source. Word for word what I’d said to her. I felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I read it.
‘“They live in an exclusive world but there’s a wall between them and the rest of the world. A gilded cage,” my source told me. “I thought they had it all but mates are what’s important and how are they supposed to meet people, especially boys? Girls like Riko Mori, daughter of entrepreneur, Yoshiki Mori, find it hard in the holidays. She gets lonely,” said my source. “She can’t wait to get back to school. She wants to explore London but can’t without a minder.”’
The words ‘my source’ seemed to scream out at me as if they were written in red capitals. As if they spelt out JESS HALL. TRAITOR. And all because I had wanted to prove to Bridget that I wasn’t like her. I wasn’t an outsider, I was in with the in-crowd. This day can’t get any worse, I’d thought as I’d glanced at Dad. He looked as freaked out as I was.
‘But where do you think she got details like that?’ asked Pia. ‘Sounds to me like she spoke to a member of staff or someone who really knew the families. It has to be someone who works at Porchester Park – a driver or a maid. Could be anyone.’
‘Yes but it wasn’t. It was me, Pia. I spoke to her on New Year’s Eve. She certainly didn’t waste any time – it’s only January the second now.’
‘You!’ Pia exclaimed. She was silent for a few moments while she took it in. ‘Shit.’
‘I know. Double.’
‘But you knew not to talk to her.’
‘Oh P, don’t have a go at me. I feel bad enough as it is. Don’t you think I’ve cursed myself and my stupidity a thousand times already this morning? I thought . . . I thought Bridget was my friend. I thought I could trust her.’
‘Some friend, but that’s what some journalists do. They pal up with you, get you to feel like you’re in their confidence so you spill the beans. It’s part of the job.’
‘I know. I knew that. Dad’s hammered it home enough times. I can’t believe I fell for it. I could kick myself.’
‘You haven’t told him it was you, have you?’
‘No way. He’d kill me. But . . . what do I do?’
‘Oh God, I don’t know. Leave home. Get a throat infection and lose your voice. Hide under the bed for a day or two. Keep out of your dad’s way, that’s for certain, as knowing you, you’ll blurt something out and give the game away.’
‘I know. He’d be so mad if he found out it was me, plus how would it reflect on him? I mean, after all the times he’s warned me – not just about not talking to them but also about how my behaviour reflects back on him as general manager.’
‘Does he suspect you?’
‘Don’t think so. He thinks it was one of the staff.’
‘So keep it zipped, that’s what I’d do.’
‘And you, Pia. Please don’t tell Henry or he might tell his dad and he’ll tell mine.’
‘We’re mates,’ said Pia. ‘I won’t say a word.’
‘Nor to Meg or Flo either, or Charlie.’
‘Hey, chill. Listen, Jess, it’ll blow over. It will. When there’s a story like this in the paper, my mum always says, today’s news, tomorrow’s fish-and-chip paper. Lie low and wait until the storm is over.’
‘Good plan,’ I said but after I’d put down the phone, I still felt mortified. What would Riko think when she saw it? And Alisha? Both were mentioned by name. Someone was bound to blab about it to Alisha. Would she know it was me? Of course she would. She was a smart cookie and was bound to work it out and that would be the end of our friendship, not to mention what JJ would think of me.
For the next half hour, I tried telling myself that it would all blow over. Pia’s mum was right, the story would soon be yesterday’s news. I tried to busy myself with facebook but even the last messages posted weren’t enough to make me forget what I’d done.
A girl called Lisbeth had written that her top tip was to manufacture times to spend with boys when they didn’t feel threatened – like a group outing or a mutual project which gave time to hang out and get to know someone without them feeling that they were on a date. ‘Boys are more relaxed at times like this,’ she said.
Who cares about pulling boys when friendships with girls are at stake? I thought. I am doooooooomed. If only I could turn the clock back a week. If only I hadn’t trusted that rat Bridget. If only I’d been smarter. If only, if only, if only . . .
‘Jess. Get down here right now,’ called Dad from downstairs.
I dashed down, my heart thumping in my chest. He’d found out it was me. I knew it. How should I be? Apologetic? Crying? Begging forgiveness? Oh God, I hate this. I hate myself.
I decided that I’d let him come out with it first. ‘What is it?’ I asked.
‘Riko Mori. She’s disappeared.’
‘Riko! Disappeared? No! When?’ My heart began to beat even faster as a panic hit me.
‘This morning.’
‘Where to?’
‘That’s what we’re trying to find out,’ said Dad. ‘You’ve spent a little time with her lately. Have you any idea where she might have gone? Any clue? Now think, Jess, think. This is really important.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘I’ve no idea where she might go. I don’t know.’ This is my fault, I thought. She’s seen the article and done a runner. ‘I . . . she was always talking about not liking being out with a minder.’
‘So where do you think she might have gone?’
‘Er . . . shopping? Maybe she just wanted some time on her own.’
‘Maybe,’ said Dad. ‘But where, Jess? If anything comes to mind let me know immediately, won’t you? In the meantime, we just have to pray that she shows up. Especially after that article. Mr Mori is livid, and now this.’ I felt doubly bad because he looked so worried and that was my fault too. My stomach felt as if I’d swallowed a ton of bricks and I thought I was going to be sick. At that moment, Dad’s phone rang. The vein on his forehead began pulsing again as he took the call – that always signalled bad news.
‘What is it?’ I said.
Dad sighed heavily. ‘Riko’s passport is missing. That means she could have gone anywhere.’ He sat down on the sofa and held his head in his hands.
I’d thought today coul
dn’t get any worse. I was wrong. It just had and it wasn’t even midday yet.
12
Another hour went by and still no news of Riko. By early afternoon, I was in a terrible state. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink, couldn’t think straight. I could hardly breathe. Dad had gone to meet the police to fill them in on what he knew. Pia had gone out shopping in the sales with her mum but she kept sending me texts saying: ‘It’ll be OK.’ ‘Call if you need to.’ ‘Everything passes.’
I knew she meant well but her messages weren’t helping. I desperately needed someone to talk to. I glanced over at the photo of my mum. I wish you were here, I thought. You’d know what to do. What to say. I turned to Dave, who was sitting on the end of my bed. ‘I need help big time,’ I told him. Fear that something awful might have happened to Riko had taken over my brain. I hate you, Bridget O’Reilly, I thought. This is all your fault. But a nagging doubt at the back of my mind, told me that she wasn’t to blame. I was.
‘Jess, whatever’s the matter?’ asked a familiar voice.
I sat up, surprised to see that Aunt Maddie had just arrived. ‘How did you get in?’
‘I just bumped into your father. He let me through. But what’s the matter, Jess? You look terrible.’
‘Nothing’s the matter.’
‘Nothing? It doesn’t look like nothing. Boy trouble?’
‘No. Pff. Nothing like that.’
‘Argument with Pia?’
I shook my head. My attempts to act normal weren’t succeeding though because another wave of anxiety flooded through me. I felt I was going to burst if I didn’t confide in someone. ‘Oh, Aunt Maddie, I’ve done something really terrible.’
‘It can’t be that bad.’
‘It is. Can I . . . can I trust you with the most enormous secret?’
Aunt Maddie came and put her arm around me. ‘Of course you can, Jess. Now what is it?’
‘Did Dad tell you about Riko going missing?’
She nodded. ‘Poor Mr and Mrs Mori. They must be out of their minds with worry.’
‘It’s my fault.’
‘Your fault? How could that be? Jess . . . Did you help her get away?’
‘No. Nothing like that. Worse.’
‘Worse?’
I nodded. ‘Did you see that article about teens at Porchester Park?’
Aunt Maddie nodded. ‘Your dad showed it to me.’
‘I’m the reason Riko ran away. It was . . . it was me who blabbed to the press. I’m the . . . the anonymous source.’
Aunt Maddie’s face registered shock. ‘You? Oh, Jess, no—’
‘Yes,’ I sobbed. ‘And you don’t have to tell me how incredibly stupid it was. I know. I’ve been cursing myself all morning. Riko must have seen the article in the paper and run away and all because of me and my big mouth and . . . and . . . Dad will kill me if he ever finds out and he might lose his job and we’ll have nowhere to live and Alisha will hate me and something might happen to Riko and you probably hate me too now and think I’m pathetic and so will Gran when she finds out and this is the worst day of my whole life apart from when Mum died and her funeral and I wish she was here but she’d probably hate me too and she’d be right because I totally hate myself.’ I burst into tears.
Aunt Maddie let me cry for a few minutes then she made me a cup of sweet tea. I couldn’t drink it. I couldn’t swallow so Aunt Maddie sat next to me again and took my hand.
‘Do you hate me?’ I asked.
Aunt Maddie laughed softly. ‘Oh no, Jess. I could never do that. And I’m glad you told me.’
‘Well, if you don’t hate me, I hate myself.’
‘No. You mustn’t do that. Part of growing up is learning about trust and who to open your heart to. Sadly some people who claim to be your friends aren’t what they seem. It’s one of life’s harsh lessons, I’m afraid.’
‘You can say that again.’
Aunt Maddie took a deep breath. ‘You have to tell your dad, Jess. You have to. And the police. Any clue you have might help find her.’
‘I can’t. I’m scared. It won’t make any difference. Riko is still gone. I haven’t a clue where she might be.’
‘I know this must be frightening for you but you have to be brave. You made a mistake. Own up to it. That’s part of growing up too. How you respond to situations is what makes you the person you are – and I know you to be a brave girl. There’s no harm in making mistakes. Everyone makes them. The harm is in lying there cursing yourself and thinking you’re a failure. Successful people make a mistake, own up to it then get up and say, I was wrong, how can I make it right? How can I make things better?’
I didn’t like what I was hearing. Not one bit. I wanted to hide away and pretend none of it had happened. I didn’t want to tell Dad or the police, but I knew that Aunt Maddie was right. I nodded. ‘OK. Let’s do it,’ I said.
Aunt Maddie squeezed my hand then she called Dad on his mobile. He appeared at the house five minutes later, by which time I could hardly breathe.
‘What’s this all about?’ asked Dad.
Aunt Maddie glanced at me. ‘Jess has something she needs to say.’
Dad turned to look at me.
‘I . . . I . . . Please don’t be mad at me or at least, be mad at me, but I’m sorry, I truly am.’
Dad looked puzzled. ‘What’s this all about?’ he repeated. ‘Sorry for what?’
I took a deep breath. It was hard to even look at Dad but I made myself. ‘It was me, Dad. I spoke to the press.’
Dad’s face registered horror. ‘You, Jess? When?’
‘Last week. I . . .’
Dad began to pace up and down and rub his head. ‘Oh Christ . . .’
‘I never thought she’d write about it. I mean, I never thought she’d want to write about teenagers. I thought they were off-limits. I thought she was outside waiting for a scoop about an A-lister. A big celeb. A grown-up. She was kind to me. I thought she was all right. I know, I’m such an idiot. Now I know you were right about not talking to them. I’m so sorry. I won’t ever do it again.’
Dad stopped pacing and took a deep breath. ‘You’re telling me that the quotes came from you? You’re the anonymous source?’ It seemed like he couldn’t take it in.
I nodded. ‘Yes. Yes . Me. Are you mad with me? Stupid question. Of course you are.’
Dad sighed. He looked so worried. ‘Not mad, Jess. Disappointed. Very disappointed,’ he replied. Somehow, that felt even worse.
I began to apologise again but Dad didn’t appear to be listening and stared out of the window as I burbled on. Finally he turned to Aunt Maddie and I. ‘OK. Right. No-one needs to know who spoke to the press. None of this needs to go outside this room. Jess, I’m glad you told me so that I can stop the inquisition with my staff. It wasn’t fair to let other people come under suspicion when you knew all along that you were to blame and we’ll speak about that later. For now, though, I have to think straight about what’s best to do. Oh dear . . . But you owning up won’t change the situation and could do more damage than good for all of us because, quite honestly, my reputation will be in ruins, not to mention how the residents would view you.’
‘That’s what I thought,’ I blurted. ‘That’s why I didn’t tell you.’
‘She is sorry, Michael,’ said Aunt Maddie. ‘No-one could be angrier with her than she is with herself. I think she’s learnt her lesson.’
‘Never mind that. Riko is still missing and that’s what’s important. Being sorry doesn’t let you off the hook, Jess,’ said Dad in a cold voice. ‘However, I have the apartment block to think about and if it got out that my daughter, my daughter, was the leak, it would reflect very badly. For now though, we have to do what we can to remedy the situation. You have to tell me anything you know so I can pass it on to the police.’
I nodded. ‘I’ll do anything I can to help but I have no idea where Riko might have gone. We weren’t close.’
‘But you did spend some time with her. She
must have said something. Any detail might help.’
I searched my mind for anything I might have overlooked. I replayed our conversations in my head. ‘I always felt there was something going on with her,’ I said.
‘Like what?’ asked Aunt Maddie with a glance at Dad. ‘Explain. How?’
‘Like . . . I felt she was using me and Pia. She kept saying she wanted to be friends but it never felt real, not like with Alisha. It was like she was using us to get out on her own for a short time – away from her dad and her minder. That’s all she wanted, a bit of freedom.
‘Oh! But there’s something else!’ I exclaimed as I remembered the nagging feeling I always had that Riko had a secret. ‘It might be nothing.’
‘What, Jess?’ Dad urged.
‘A boy. I thought I’d seen a boy hanging around. That why I went to talk to Bridget in the first place – to ask if she’d seen him too. He was there before Christmas and at first, I thought he was one of the paparazzi but he looked too young and not all pally with them like they are with each other. Then I thought he might be a tourist, you know, just having a nose. But the first time I went out with Riko to Harrods, she disappeared for a while when she went to the Ladies. Pia and I were well freaked.’
‘And was the boy there, then?’
‘I’m not sure. Riko reappeared but, before that, when I went looking for her, I thought I saw her with someone on the escalator but I couldn’t be sure. I couldn’t see him properly and I wasn’t even certain it was her actually with someone or if he was just standing next to her on the escalator. It was so crowded and I was well freaked out myself.’
‘Why didn’t you mention this when you came back? You knew Mr Mori had trusted you to stay with her,’ said Dad.
‘Well, that’s just it. I was mad with her for disappearing, so was Pia, but she begged us not to say anything about her going off and she turned up again so it seemed there was no harm done. She said her dad wouldn’t ever let her out again if he thought she’d lost us. I didn’t know whether to believe her but she hadn’t actually done anything wrong.’
Paparazzi Princess Page 10
