by Maren Smith
At times like this, she cursed her mother. Charlie looked around her with a greatly exaggerated sigh. It didn't matter that there was a crack in the plaster ceiling or raised floorboards in the hundred-year-old hardwood floor—it was her ceiling, her floor. If it weren't her home, if her mother hadn't left the house to her, Charlie most likely would have run away a long time ago. She often wondered if that was why her mother had done it.
The previous will, the one that was in place when their father died, stated that the estate would go first to Sherry, their mother, and then to both of the siblings. At some time after that Sherry had changed it, giving the house solely to Charlie. Alex had been given everything else. No, they weren't rich, but he'd been given their father's two project-cars when he'd passed two years before their Mom. Then when she'd died, he'd received the rest: the summer cottage, the CDs, savings bonds and the like.
If only it was as easy as—"It's my house, get out!" But that had never worked with him. Alex had stayed there with her until he married Jenna, and really, Charlie had never minded Alex living there. She simply wished he would understand that after she turned eighteen, she had her own house and most importantly—she'd grown too old to spank. She wished that when he had the desire to spank her, she could simply ask him to go home and he would listen. But no, he still treated her like a child. He didn't trust her to live on her own and it'd been over a year.
Charlie probably could have and would have stayed there pouting on the sofa all day long and wasted her day off if two things hadn't happened. First, Brinks realized a terrible need to empty his tiny terrier bladder, and secondly, while she'd been up she heard her cell phone go off in the bedroom with the ring tone she reserved for work. Work was definitely a good idea. She loved to take an extra shift when they asked. Too bad working in the emergency room happened to be another of the things Alex like to blow up about. It would get her out of the house, give her something to do, and it would give her a reason to stall. So if she had to work, she had more time to delay making the decision of whether she would actually tell him about the ticket or wait and hope he never found out.
Chapter Two
"Okay, Ladies and err, um, Jeff—" Snickers and laughs erupted in the small gathering of nurses. "—No seriously, I just wanted to say well done. For being short staffed, you guys worked great together and saved lives. That was a nasty car accident and I'm just glad to have each of you on my team. Now, take a break, grab a snack and let's get this place back in shape." The emergency room doctor slapped Jeff, the only male nurse, on the back and the group split up.
Charlie turned to another girl. "Kelsey, you take a break first. I'm going to check in on the infant. Mom is still really panicky; you know how the first-timers are. When you come back, start on the trauma room and I'll come help. That is, of course, the priority. I already called Pharmacy on the crash cart; we can't have it short if another accident comes in—"
They were interrupted when the receptionist came up. "Charlie, you have a call on line one." The huggable gray-haired Susie didn't wait for a reply. Just like Charlie, she didn't have time for personal calls. The waiting room still had patients waiting to be seen! The roads were a mess (if what she had heard were true) and the snow continued to accumulate.
Charlie headed for the phone farthest away from the others with a glance at her watch. It wasn't the OR with a question about the patient they'd just sent up, or the Labs. It wasn't any hospital department or Susie would have said so. Nobody would have called her at work except Alex. The problems were mounting. Her watch said the day had flown by. It was already six-freaking-thirty. She wished she'd asked Susie to tell him she was busy.
"This is Charlie."
"It's Jenna. You were supposed to be here for dinner. Remember? I thought today was your day off?"
"Crap, I just forgot. They were short in ER and had an automobile accident. They called me in and I just forgot. I'll make it up to you; I swear."
"It's not really me. Well, you know I have my cousin here. I wanted you to meet him…"
"Oh, shoot. I forgot. I'm really sorry, Jen…"
"And you know Alex is going to be upset about you taking extra shifts again. We worry about you." Her voice was a little too motherly, almost nagging.
"I have to go, Jenna. It's crazy here right now with the bad roads and car accidents. I'll call you tomorrow." Charlie hung up without giving her sister-in-law another chance to make her feel guilty. She felt bad enough on her own, except when she worked. She smiled genuinely, the tension leaving her face as she made her way into the curtained partition to see the mom and the four-month-old. The baby had been safe in the car seat during the four-car collision, with no injuries that they could find. But the mother had a broken collarbone from the seatbelt across her shoulder and still worried more for her child.
Working at the hospital was what Charlie loved and she happened to be good at it. She'd never been good at music, sports or anything growing up. Not like Alex had been. Everyone always loved Alex more; he excelled at everything he did. She'd tried so hard to make her parents happy but she never could be good enough. But she rocked at her job; that was why she'd quickly become a nurse manager at St. Johns Urgent Care. That was why they always called her when the emergency room had a crisis. She was damn good. If only Alex could understand that. Yes, she knew he worried. A little too much. If only he could see that she was better now. That she could take care of herself.
* * * * *
"Charlie, your brother is here to pick you up. He is out in the waiting room." Susie came into the staff room while Charlie shoved her arms in the sleeve of her coat. "My own husband doesn't even care enough to pick me up and make sure I get home safely… What a sweetie. He's going to make some girl very lucky—"
"He's married," Charlie snipped at the older woman, looking at her watch. The day had flown by. It was already after midnight. Her shift had ended eleven minutes before.
"Well, she's lucky, and you're lucky to have someone—" Susie's voice drifted off as the door closed behind Charlie as she left the room. She didn't mean to be rude to Susie, but if Alex had come there, he must be really upset at her. Was it because of the extra shift or because he'd heard about the ticket?
As if her day couldn't get any worse, just as she pushed through the heavy double doors to the waiting room her stomach growled loudly. She patted the pocket of her pink scrub pants. She hadn't had time to eat the bag of peanuts she bought out of the vending machine. She pulled them out and popped a few salty nuts in her mouth as her eyes wearily met Alex's.
"Hey. You didn't have to come…"
"Neither did you." He stood and made his way to the door. Ever the gentleman, he opened it for her. He stayed quiet and so did she until they got in his truck and made it a couple blocks. Charlie knew talking would be a waste at this point. She didn't even question leaving her little red Saturn at the hospital or how she would get to work in the morning. She'd just call Kelsey in the morning. He was the one to break the silence first. "Is that the only thing you've eaten today?"
"No, Kelsey brought up sandwiches from the cafeteria," she lied without even thinking. Years and years of terrible eating habits and lies didn't change. Well, of course she'd changed. She didn't count the calories (okay, most of the time she didn't count the calories) and she didn't try to starve herself anymore. She just never remembered to eat. It was the cover-up that came easy.
Charlie glanced at Alex's profile in the dashboard glow. He should be at home in bed with Jenna, but no matter what she did or said he would not stop trying to take care of her. As they pulled into the driveway next to the two-story brick home, she tossed a quick "Thanks for the ride" over her shoulder and reached for the handle.
Her bottom tingled when he put the truck into park, shut it off and climbed out at the same time she did. He didn't even give her the benefit of words at that point. He just trudged through the snow behind her and inside when she opened the door. Without a key.
&nb
sp; "Damn it, Charlie! How many times have I told you to lock the doors?" His growl scared Brinks, who yapped, hid behind the door, and then dashed behind Charlie's legs.
"It's okay, Brinksy-baby. That bully's not gonna get you." She completely ignored Alex and picked up her little dog, hugging him and letting him lick her chin. She carried him to the kitchen, opened a can of his dog food and dumped it on a plate.
While she was setting the little dog down for his supper, Alex continued to lecture her. "You think it's funny, saying the dog is your security alarm, but that little dog is not going to be able to save your life. You'd think you would see it in the people who come into the emergency room, but you won't listen. Instead you go on and on about how unfair I am."
"No, I get sick of you treating me like a child. I can take care of myself, but you won't leave me alone. That is all I want." She gave an exaggerated sigh. They'd been told their eyes were the same exact shade of pale green, the same as their father's had been. Had Daddy looked at her like that before he spanked her? She couldn't remember.
"Right. You take care of yourself—like working too much and forgetting," he exaggerated the word 'forgetting' with a sarcastic face, "to eat, and is there anything else you need to tell me?"
A wave of dread spread through her as she backed up against the kitchen counter. Her stomach clenched and so did her bottom. How the hell did he always find out? She just stared at him with her hands fisted at her sides. It wasn't his freaking business. "I'm an adult, Alex… I don't need you to do this…"
"Charlie, I would love nothing more than for you to 'act like an adult.' You know that, but you don't do it. You think about that. You just go take your shower and get ready for bed. I'm going to shovel your driveway. And you better think about how long you want to feel this spanking… because if you're still glaring at me like that when I come back in, I'm going to use my belt."
Charlie stomped to the bathroom. How did he always find out? Always, always. It was just unbelievable. She should just move. Sell the house and move. She could call Miranda. Miranda could sell the house and Charlie could stay with her until she could transfer to—California. Yes, California. But the mountains, there were mountains in California. There had to be snow wherever she moved; she loved the snow. With each thought she peeled her clothes off. And by the time she had the steaming hot water streaming down over her tired muscles, she was crying and stomping her feet.
Who the hell did he think he was? And why did she always have to live under his thumb? It was her house and she should be able to just kick him out. No matter how many times she told him these things, in her heart she knew he was right. And she knew that no matter how much she got mad when he was right, she'd be lost without him, and Jenna. They were all she had. Her head hung down in front of her, her tears running down the drain with the shower water. Her sobs soaked up in the rush of the shower spray.
No matter how hard she tried, she always screwed up. She never remembered to eat, or to lock the freaking doors, but the speeding was worse. She always drove too fast. And she was always setting Alex off. Why couldn't she be a sweetheart, like Jenna? Or beautiful, like Miranda?
"If you think I'm going to get tired of waiting and go home, you're wrong," Alex called through the door to her. "Come on, get out here."
Sheesh. She was still just standing there. "Washing my hair," she hollered.
True to his promise, Alex was waiting for her on the old orange couch. It wasn't really orange; it was more of a burnt brownish color. The issue had been debated many times and it was sure to be debated many more. That was why it hadn't been thrown away even though it should've been long ago. No one could ever lay on it comfortably with the huge dip in the middle, but somehow keeping it was like still having a part of their family there with them. Like snuggling with Daddy on Saturday mornings, and watching cartoons while Mom burnt pancakes.
But Alex had never gotten up in time for cartoons. He wouldn't get up until the smoke alarm went off and then he always came out running like it wasn't a weekly occurrence. He always responded like the new alarm was sure to be the real one—the one he needed to act on and save them all from a fiery death.
"It's late. Don't stretch this out; quit dragging your feet and looking pathetic. You know what I want; I shouldn't have to hear it from others. Four days ago, Charlie, and as if twenty miles over the speed limit wasn't bad enough—the lie—" He broke off just as her shame did her in. She started crying and was almost happy when he pulled her down over his legs. At least then she didn't have to see the disgust etched on his face anymore. "How could you lie like that, Charlie? Don't you have any common decency?" He started slapping her bottom hard and fast, this cheek and then that. His hand hot and heavy hurt like a paddle on its own. Her thin flannel pajama pants offered very little if no protection from the barrage.
Charlie gripped the cushions of the couch and held on. Each swat fell in a steady rhythm, here, there and everywhere, lighting up her backside with scorching accuracy. She knew he was going to make sure she didn't sit comfortably for a while; she'd seen the paddle next to him and knew he was just warming up.
"I asked you a question, Charlie. How could you lie about Mom like that? How? You don't care about anyone but yourself. That's how."
She refused to answer. She knew what she'd done was wrong. There was no other way around it. All she could do was cry, bite the cushion and hang on. After all the times he'd beaten her rear in the last six—no eight years (he'd started before, while Dad had been sick, before he died,) he'd grown extremely skilled at it. How had he gotten so freaking wise in his thirty-six years, she'd really like to know.
"Stop your kicking and carrying on. I've barely started." Alex scooted forward on the couch and wrapped his leg over hers, eliminating her kicking and thrashing. "It's a disgrace, that's what it is, Charlie, lying like that about Mom. Most of the police in this city knew Dad—and Mom." He gave her two really hard swats to each swell as he spoke about their parents.
"Ow! Oh!" When she couldn't move her legs, Charlie had to focus more on the pain, and she couldn't hold back her cries. "I'm sor-ry, Alex. I'm really sorry."
"Now, how about we talk for a minute? Let's see, this happened four days ago and I find out today—and not from you. Then you got the ticket today and still didn't tell me. How many swats you think that should be?" He'd stopped smacking her backside and picked up the heavy oak paddle. It was the same one that their daddy had used. It felt cool against Charlie's blazing backside as it rested there but she knew how fast that could change.
"I don't know, Alex." Her voice came out cracked and sniffly, but she knew he wouldn't let this go without talking it out. "Four days plus one for today. Five. Yes, five." She also knew that he wouldn't agree, but she was always hopeful.
"Five?" He paused as if he was actually thinking about it, "Let's double that." He rubbed the paddle around her bottom. "And what about the extra shift?"
"Oh, Alex, it was a crisis."
"There are always emergencies in emergency rooms. You work at the Urgent Care clinic for a reason: the set schedule, Thursdays through Sundays, eight to four. You've agreed to this many times. You don't take care of yourself, you can't work extra days. Now how many swats for that?"
"One," she said through gritted teeth.
"Five more, yes, that sounds about right. And for standing Jenna up? Should I spank you for that? She was really upset."
"Jenna wouldn't want you to spank me for it. I didn't mean it. I'm just forgetful. I'll apologize."
"She was very upset, but I will let you make it up to her. Now where were we? Ten, fifteen. You know that isn't enough for reckless driving and the worst lie I can even think of, don't you? I don't even think double is enough, but I will settle for it. So thirty. Let's get this over with." And he did—very succinctly.
No matter how many times she'd been paddled before, that first scorching thwack always surprised and shocked her. It helped that he had the paddle resting there so
when he lifted it off, she knew it was going to fall. She should have an idea it was going to happen. But it was always like a whole unexpected event and brought a soft cry from her lips even if she tried not to.
Then, each crack thereafter, landed in the same exact place on the fullest part of her cheeks with the same amount of pressure. She wiggled and cried, begged and bounced. Nothing changed the variation and nothing helped to lessen the fires of hell itself that had taken over her behind. As soon as he let her up she would go outside and sit in the yard with her pants down in all of that icy cold, wet, snow.
"I'm sorry, honey," he said when he finally stopped and helped her up. Once she'd tugged her pants up over her sore backside, he stood next and pulled her close, hugging her. "I know that you hate it when I spank you, but I will not stop trying to keep you safe. Even if I have to save you from yourself."
Chapter Three
When people grow up with a father or a brother who is a cop they usually aren't the type to freak out when they see a cop hiding in a small grove of trees or on just the other side of an overpass. As it happens, when Charlie sees them (if she sees them) she immediately takes her foot off the gas pedal and gasps like she just ran over a dead body. Of course, it was her fear of the paddle and the disappointment in her daddy's or brother's eyes that caused that reaction. They could never understand her and how she could be so careless. Which is precisely what led to her lying so terribly on the day she was never going to talk about again.
It was almost re-enacted on her way to Alex's house the following weekend, except that almost two miles before the hide-a-cop, a little old lady who should have been denied her license when she turned ninety pulled out in front of Charlie. Charlie cursed her and all the other cars coming at her in the opposite lane, making it impossible for her to pass, all the way until she passed the hide-a-cop. Then resolutely driving at the little old lady's modest four below the posted speed limit, she sat back and sighed with relief, silently thanking God for the little old lady who had saved her from another ticket.
