‘It was just a shock,’ she continued. ‘I never thought I’d have to see this place. It wasn’t until I got here that I remembered and …’ Her voice squeezed shut.
‘It’s okay, Lara. You’re allowed to feel emotions,’ Jack said gently.
‘I don’t want to feel anything,’ she said softly. ‘This is why I never came back. I didn’t want to feel like this. It hurts too much.’
‘Maybe that’s why it’s still hard for you,’ Jack replied. ‘Sometimes it’s better to deal with it, to face your fears head on, you know? Noah and I … we saw the crash site. It was ghastly, but Noah kept coming back.’
She tilted her head up. The blue depths of her eyes swam with sadness and it disarmed him even more. ‘You saw it? Noah never mentioned it. I didn’t realise he was there. Why did he never say?’
‘We came to help and then Wally told us. It was the worst day of our lives, Lara. I’d never seen anything so horrific, and Noah …’ Jack took a deep breath. He looked at the railway line as if remembering it clearly. ‘It was an awful way to find out, so I’m not surprised he didn’t tell you.’
‘I thought I was over their deaths. No, that’s a lie. I guess I wanted to be over it … but you never do really heal. I will always have a hole in my heart. The pain …’
‘Will ease eventually, at least that’s what Noah says,’ said Jack. ‘You just need more time. Facing this today will help.’
‘You think so?’
‘Yep. You should talk to Noah about it.’
His voice was warm and reassuring, and she found herself actually thankful to have him by her side.
‘I’ll be okay,’ she said.
‘Well, I better get going. Eric’s waiting for a fan belt.’
Lara touched his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘Um, thanks for … everything,’ she mumbled.
Jack nodded in reply before withdrawing his hand and heading back to his ute.
Back home, Lara rang Trish to say she wouldn’t make it over for afternoon tea, and Trish being Trish managed to worm the real reason out of her. At first she didn’t feel like talking, but Trish soon had her opening up. After all, Trish and her mum had been close. Then, while she still had the phone in her hand, Lara rang Noah.
‘Noah, hi,’ she said, still feeling slightly fragile.
‘Hey, Larz.’
‘What you been up to?’ she asked.
‘Busy feeding cows. How about you?’
‘I’m okay, I guess.’
‘What’s up? What did you wreck?’ He sighed heavily, expecting the worst.
‘You sound as bad as Jack,’ she groaned.
‘Why? Is he giving you a hard time? I told him to be nice.’
‘Well, if this is his nice, I’d hate to see him grumpy.’ She thought back to her conversation with Trent. ‘Hey, Noah, I um … heard Jack’s got a record. Should I be worried?’
‘Who told you that?’
She could hear the protective tone in his voice. ‘So it’s true, then? What did he do?’
‘Don’t be harsh. It’s nothing. It was his first year here in Oz and he got done for possession.’
‘Possession of what?’ Lara was thinking guns, or mass bags of party drugs.
‘Bit of weed, nothing serious.’
That sounded serious enough to Lara. No wonder Jack was so moody.
‘Keep it to yourself, won’t you, sis? He’s a bit sensitive about it.’
‘As if I’d go blabbing. Anyway, why didn’t you tell me you saw Mum and Dad’s crash site? I can’t believe you kept that from me.’
‘Who told you that? Jack? Gee, you’re home for a few weeks and you’ve connected up with the grapevine!’
The phone went silent as Lara waited.
Noah sighed heavily. ‘Lara, it was horrific and just wasn’t something I wanted to talk about. I guess I was afraid that if you knew, you’d ask for more details and I … and I just didn’t want to go there with you. It took me a long time to get over that sight. The nightmares … the constant nightmares and the torture every time I drove past that spot. How could I put that onto you? You were only twenty-one and you were struggling as it was.’
Lara tilted the phone away from her mouth and sniffed back some tears.
‘Tell me, do you think you would have coped if I’d told you?’
‘No,’ she said weakly. ‘But I drove past there for the first time today, and it sent me to pieces, Noah. I crumbled.’
‘I know it hurts to face it, but eventually you realise that you can move on. Are you okay?’ His voice was so tender. She knew that if he were here, he’d hug her tight and tell her it’d be okay, just like he had seven years ago.
‘I think so. It feels like I’d been hiding from it for so long. I’d buried it deep, and seeing the place where they died … it just took over. It was the funeral all over again.’
‘Ah, sis. I wish I could be there for you. I’d come back this weekend if I could, but Amanda’s dad is riding me pretty hard.’
‘Really? I’ve been meaning to ask how you’re settling in. Is everything okay?’
‘Oh, yeah. No, it’s fine, really. Just hard to go from being your own boss to being told what to do and being treated as if you know shit all.’
‘Sorry,’ said Lara as she wound the phone cord tightly around her finger.
‘Hey, it’s not your problem. It’ll get better. I think her dad’s also just clinging on a bit harder now he knows I’m around to take over, you know what I mean? He’s seen his retirement coming and it’s probably freaked him out.’
‘Hmm, I guess you’re right. But things with Mandy are still going good?’
‘Yep, all good in that department. So great being with her all the time. After being alone for so long, I’m really looking forward to our years ahead.’
‘Aw, Noah, you ol’ softie, you.’ She smiled to herself. ‘Oh, hey, you know you still haven’t emailed me back about that missing money? I sent that days ago.’
‘Yeah, what’s the big rush?’ Lara felt his mood shift through the tone in his voice. ‘Can’t you just write it off or something? That’d be heaps easier.’
‘Um, maybe if it was fifty bucks not fifty grand.’ She knew she sounded crabby but it had been one hell of a week. ‘Bloody hell, Noah. That’s not how you run a business. Can you just get it done, please?’
‘I don’t know … Do I really have to?’
‘Of course you really have to!’
‘I can’t remember what it was all for now.’
‘Well, you’ll have to remember. Try, please.’
‘So, any lambs dropping yet?’
Lara let him have his change of conversation, this time. ‘I saw one yesterday, so I’ll head out in the morning and check.’
‘Good-oh. I got a call yesterday from the truckie who’s going to deliver our super at the end of the week, so you need to ring the contractor and get him out to spread it.’
‘Oh, okay. Cheers.’
‘Anyway, I can’t stay and chat. I can see the father-in-law headed my way. I’ll talk to ya later.’
‘Righto, Noah. Please sort that money out,’ she begged.
She heard a ‘Yeah, yeah’ before he hung up.
Lara sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking.
She walked to her parents’ room and finally found it in herself to push open the door. With tentative steps, she made it to the bed and sat down. Next to the bed sat her dad’s alarm clock and watch. Carefully she touched the glass face on the metal watch. Time stood still. Tears burnt in her eyes as she gently wiped the dust from it. She moved to the other side of the bed and touched her mum’s jewellery, necklaces and rings hanging from a little stand. Tears spilt down Lara’s face as the sobs came hard and fast.
‘I miss you guys so much,’ she whispered, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. She sniffed loudly and tried to calm herself.
She planted her feet on the carpet, stood slowly and opened the doors of the large jarrah
cupboard. Her fingers curled around the clothes hanging inside – her father’s shirts, her mother’s tops and dresses. She pulled them to her nose and inhaled, hoping for the familiar scent of her parents but finding instead a musty dust that made her sneeze. Lara caught her reflection in the mirror on the back of the wardrobe door and was shocked. She was so much like her mother. She glanced around their room. Memories lingered in every inch of it, filling her heart with happiness and sadness. Nothing would ever bring her parents back, and nothing would make her forget them. She hugged an armful of the hanging clothes, whispered a prayer for her mum and dad, then pulled out a few of the garments and spread them on the bed. She was going to sort out her parents’ bedroom. It was time.
20
NEW life was everywhere. It sure was a sight to see as Lara drove the ute around the farm inspecting the activity: the baby lambs were all snowy white in the rays of morning sunshine as they pranced across the paddocks, staying close to their mums, their little tails wiggling. Lara saw a ewe down and drove closer to investigate. The mother was giving birth and Lara could see the legs of the lamb. One thing she remembered from growing up on a farm was how many lambs they looked after because ewes had died or abandoned them. She’d had two pet lambs, Lisa and Bart, but Bart liked to headbutt them and soon returned to the paddock.
It looked like the ewe was struggling, so Lara got out of the ute to help. From memory, all she had to do was pull, more or less. She grabbed onto the lamb’s legs and tugged, gently at first, slowly increasing the pressure until the tiny creature slipped out. Straightaway she could tell the lamb was dead.
‘Ah, bugger,’ she murmured, wiping her bloodied hands on her work jeans. Next time she’d try to remember to put the gloves in the ute.
With a sense of sadness, she moved on, checking the rest of the mob. She managed to rescue a few more, but it was the ewe on the ground up ahead, surrounded by crows, that really worried Lara. When she pulled up beside it, sending the birds flying, she saw that the ewe was dead but she’d given birth to a lamb, which had been just about eaten by foxes or the birds. Another lamb was still half inside the ewe. It moved slightly and Lara realised it was still alive, just. She picked up the poor little lamb and tugged it out. She’d been chewed on her ear and face. Near her jaw, the flesh was all gone and the bone underneath was exposed. Ugh! Lara cringed at the gruesome sight. It was truly amazing this lamb was still alive.
Back in the ute, she bundled the lamb beside her. It was too weak to protest, probably half starved and in pain from the angry red wounds. As Lara drove from the paddock, she saw a ute approaching from the other side of the fence and recognised Marge and Trent, obviously out checking their own sheep. She drove towards the boundary fence to meet them.
‘Good morning, love. How are you today?’ asked Marge as she walked to the fence, followed by her grandson.
‘Hi, Marge. Hey, Trent. Fancy meeting you here.’ She laughed as she got out of the ute.
‘We were just out checking our own mobs for lambs, but ours haven’t started dropping yet. Maybe in the next few days.’ Marge spotted the lamb in the ute. ‘Oh, you’re picking up some strays already. Trent always brings them for me to look after, don’t you?’ she said, smiling proudly at him.
Trent leant on the strainer post. ‘Well, I’m not looking after them.’ His sweet smile was a welcome sight this morning. ‘Think you’re wasting your time on that one, though,’ he said, nodding at the wounded lamb.
Lara shrugged. ‘Maybe, maybe not. I think she’s a bit of a fighter. I’m just about to go searching for some food for her, and see to the wounds.’
‘Oh, I’ll bring some powder over and a teat and bottle for you. I have plenty of spares,’ said Marge, who was again wearing an ironed cotton shirt tucked in perfectly to her brown slacks. ‘I’ve probably got some ointment that will be good on her wounds, too.’
‘Thanks, Marge. I’d appreciate that. I doubt Noah would have anything back home. Guys don’t really look after lambs, unless it’s an expensive stud. Am I right, Trent?’
Marge chuckled. ‘You’re a fast learner, Lara.’ She nodded to her grandson. ‘Trent tells me you ski really well, too?’
Trent rolled his eyes at Marge and Lara felt heat in her cheeks. ‘Um, I don’t know about that, but, yeah … nah, I’m getting there slowly.’
‘Trent will have to take you out to the pub again for dinner. You two young’uns need to get out more.’
Trent cleared his throat, shot Lara an apologetic look and accosted his gran. ‘C’mon, Gran. I’d better get you back so you can take the milk over to Lara. That little lamb won’t hang on forever.’
‘Oh, yes, you’re right.’ Marge began walking to the ute. ‘I’ll be over in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.’
Trent helped Marge back into the ute. ‘I’m not an invalid yet, Trent,’ she said. ‘Off you go.’ She shooed him away from the passenger side.
‘I’ll catch ya later, Lara,’ he said, giving her a wave. His blue singlet showed his smooth tanned skin and his jeans sat low on his hips, held on by a leather belt. Lara was genuinely surprised that he wasn’t taken yet. Maybe Marge had scared them all off with her prodding.
Marge returned on her own about ten minutes later and managed to run over the dogs’ water bucket, which Lara left out by the shed for them. Not that Marge seemed to notice. She brought in a whole basketful of stuff and enough lamb’s milk to last a week. ‘This should tide you over until you can get some from town.’
‘Oh, thanks, Marge. You’re a lifesaver. I’m calling her Gretel, because she’s not out of the woods yet.’ Lara smiled at her own joke. ‘I’ve got the kettle on. Would you like a cuppa?’
‘Yes, please. Lucky I threw in some carrot cake, isn’t it!’ Marge said with a wink.
It took a bit of effort to get the lamb to feed. Milk coated Gretel’s mouth and splashed all over her face and in her wounds. Using her shirt, Lara wiped her clean, careful not to disturb the sores. She’d have to keep working at feeding her slowly until the lamb built up her strength enough to eat properly. But Marge was satisfied with Gretel’s progress, and left after her cuppa to attend to her list of chores.
Lara set the lamb up in the old washhouse on the end of the veranda. After she was happy Gretel was settled, she drove back to the shed.
As she pulled up, she noticed dust in the air and could see someone leaving down the driveway in a mustard-yellow ute. That’s odd, Lara thought. Probably a local farmer coming by to see if he could borrow something. But they usually stopped for a chat.
She walked into the shed, and after three metres realised that something wasn’t right. Normally she’d have to step around the MIG welder that sat where Noah had used it last. She raised her hand to her forehead as she tried to process it. Turning, she saw car tyres that backed right up to the workshop floor. Someone had loaded up the welder and taken it. Maybe it was Jack, in one of Jerry’s utes.
She dialled Jack’s number on her mobile.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey, Jack. It’s Lara. Were you just here at the farm?’
‘No. Why?’ He sounded a little gruff and she didn’t know if telling him why was going to be a good idea.
‘I’ve just seen a ute leaving the farm and I’ve noticed the MIG welder missing. You haven’t borrowed it?’
‘No. I would have told you,’ he said indignantly. ‘So you’re telling me someone has stolen it from right under your nose? Jesus, Lara.’
Lara’s jaw dropped.
‘This is ridiculous. Erindale isn’t a bloody hobby farm for you to play around on while you’re going through your personal crisis or whatever.’ Jack spoke with such force that Lara had to hold the phone away from her ear.
Bastard! ‘You … you …’ Now was not the time to go blank, but she couldn’t think of a clever-enough retort so she simply hung up.
‘Who the bloody hell does he think he is!’ she yelled as she stomped around the shed, talking to the dogs. ‘This could
have happened to anyone!’ She clenched her hands into fists by her side. ‘I’m not some prissy chick playing at this. I’m busting my arse to run Erindale properly.’ She thought of the hours she’d spent on the internet at night, researching everything from grain varieties to seeding techniques. Not to mention the mountain of lists she’d made and the detailed plans for a five-year budget she’d painstakingly worked through. ‘To hell with you, Jack. To hell with everyone. I’ll show ’em all.’
She jumped back into the ute with gusto, then saw Dippa’s expression as he stood beside the ute and barked.
‘Sorry, mate.’ She got out and lifted him onto the back with Roy, then got back behind the wheel, this time with a little less anger.
They headed into town. Her first thought was to find this yellow ute, or ask someone who may know whether it was local. As she drove down the main street, she spotted a possible match parked outside the IGA store. Surely it wouldn’t be this easy? She pulled up behind the ute and saw a blue box that could be a welder. Her heart pounded in her chest as she thought about her next move. Darn it, it was rightfully theirs. Getting out before her courage left, she went to the back of the yellow ute and tried to lift the welder. Holy crap, it was heavy. With both hands on the end of it, she dragged it to the back of the tray. Metal on metal squealed and she cringed at the noise.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’
Lara could smell the cigarette smoke before she saw Aaron Snippet’s face. He didn’t look happy at all. He was wearing a black cap pulled down low on his head, and a holey red shirt. He held a can of Mother in his hand along with a cigarette.
With a deep breath, she ranted, ‘I’m taking back what’s mine, unless you want me to call the police?’
Aaron’s eyebrows drew together as his eyes drilled her. ‘I’m just taking what I’m owed by your brother. He skipped town without paying me.’
‘So you think trespassing and stealing is the way to go?’
‘Didn’t think a girl like you would have use for a welder. Thought I was doing you a favour,’ he smirked. ‘Would you rather pay me the two grand, then?’
The Road Home Page 15
