On Monday morning, Christmas music streamed through the office speakers, grabbing Stephanie’s attention. Gaby had obviously been busy decorating over the weekend. Maybe the boat-decorating party had put her in the mood. She’d set up a miniature Christmas village behind the reception window, complete with mock snow and twinkling lights. Wreaths hung at each doctor’s door, and a banner wishing everyone a happy holiday was draped across the entryway to the waiting room.
The cheery atmosphere seemed contrary to what Stephanie had scheduled first thing that morning in the clinic. She got settled in her office and did a quick mental rundown of how the procedure would be carried out then noticed Maria standing expectantly in her doorway. She welcomed her in—having Maria as moral support was nice.
“I’m planning on doing a cold-knife conization. It may produce more bleeding than other procedures, but it doesn’t obscure the surgical margins as much as the two other techniques, which is very important.”
Stephanie drew a diagram for Maria. “While were there, I’m going to go ahead and perform a cerclage to minimize the bleeding and to protect from premature labor down the road.” She sketched as Maria looked on, outlining how she planned to remove the wedge of tissue then stitch the cervix together to keep it tight until delivery.
“Amy is having Celeste sign the consent in the procedure room. Are you ready?”
Maria nodded, her espresso-brown eyes wide and intelligent. She tottered beside her as Stephanie made her way to the special-procedure room. Even though it seemed impossible for Maria’s pregnant belly to look any bigger, it did, and Stephanie wondered how she could possibly hold out until her due date.
Stephanie greeted Celeste Conroy with a firm handshake as the patient reclined on the table with a paper shield across her lap and her feet in place in the stirrups. Amy had already set her up for the cervical cone biopsy.
“You remember Maria Avila, the nurse practitioner student?”
Celeste gave permission for Maria to observe, and Stephanie was glad of the extra pair of hands.
Amy had given Celeste a mild sedative on her arrival and Stephanie administered a local cervical block. As they waited for it to take effect, Celeste had more questions.
“The consent said a lot of scary things,” Celeste said. “Can they all happen?”
“The consents have to list every single possibility. Will they all happen? No. Will any of them happen? Not likely. Please don’t let it scare you. The main thing I want to make sure about is the bleeding. Pregnancy increases blood flow to the uterus and cervix, so it might get tricky, but I’ll be extra-careful.”
“What if we don’t get all of the cancer out with this procedure?”
“There is a very low risk that your lesion will progress during the course of your pregnancy. My job is to remove it all today, and I’m confident I can. Let’s take this one step at a time.”
Reluctantly, Celeste agreed, and as the sedative wove its spell, she plopped her head back on the exam table and stared off into the distance. Stephanie could only imagine the thoughts she must be having.
Once the wedge of tissue was excised and placed in a specimen container, Stephanie used electrocautery to control the rapid local bleeding, then, as planned, performed the cervical cerclage.
“Maria, I’m going to assign you to Recovery. I want to watch Mrs. Conroy for the next four hours. Amy, will her husband be on hand to drive her home later?”
Amy nodded.
Stephanie ran down a long list of things Celeste needed to avoid for the next week, and wrote everything down. Knowing her patient had been sedated, she planned to go over everything again later when her husband was present and ready to take her home.
“Let me know if there’s any unusual bleeding,” Stephanie said to Maria on her way out.
“Will do.”
Stephanie went about the rest of her morning clinic, only occasionally allowing Phil to slip into her thoughts. She wasn’t looking for a husband or a future father. She’d gone that route and failed miserably, and had ensured she’d never be a mother again. All she wanted to do was put the pieces of her life back together, and maybe, while she was here, have a little fun. So if he was only a guy to have fun with, why was she thinking about him so much? Maybe it was because he’d turned out to be so great with Robbie. She’d seen him go from clueless to expert in less than two weeks. The guy had father potential written all over him. In a twisted sort of way, after she left, she hoped he’d find a woman who could give him a family one day.
“Dr. Bennett?” Amy interrupted her confusing thoughts. “Maria sent me to tell you that Mrs. Conroy has soaked through several pads already.”
Alarm had Stephanie picking up her phone and dialing Jason Rogers’s office. He met her at the patient’s gurney, as she finished her examination.
“I need to cauterize more extensively, and then I’d like to admit the patient for overnight observation,” she said.
“I’ll call the hospital and tell them we’re sending her,” Jason said.
“I don’t have privileges there, so I’ll need you to admit her.”
“No problem,” he said. “Whatever you need.”
Having such support and backup from her boss meant the world to her. And after the second round of cauterizing the wedge margins, the cervical bleeding already showed signs of slowing. Still, she couldn’t be too careful with her patient, and, more importantly, with the pregnancy.
The transporters arrived, and Maria volunteered to ride over with Celeste so Stephanie could finish her clinic appointments. She’d head over to the hospital as soon as she was finished.
By the end of the day, Stephanie hadn’t seen even a glimpse of Phil, and she figured if he was avoiding her she deserved it for pulling back and leaving without a proper goodbye. What did he expect? They really were nothing more than bed partners so she had no obligation to him. Then why did him avoiding her bother her so much? She bit her lip and sighed.
Because she cared about him.
“Is Dr. Bennett in?” Phil asked Gaby on his way into the clinic on Tuesday morning.
“She’s at the hospital, discharging one of her patients.”
He’d decided to ask her to lunch today, and was eager to see her again. When he got to his office and booted up his computer, a calendar alert popped up at the moment Jon strode through his door.
“You ready?” Jon asked.
Damn, he’d forgotten the symposium in Ventura he and Jon had signed up for months ago to attend together today.
So much for lunch with Stephanie.
On Wednesday, Phil got called into the E.R. for an emergency thoracentesis in the morning, and by the time he’d caught up with his patient load that evening, Stephanie had already left for the day.
He could give her a call and ask her out for dinner, but he knew how easy it was to blow someone off over the phone, so he decided to wait until Thursday morning when he could see her face-to-face.
On Thursday, when there was no sign of Stephanie at the clinic, Phil discovered through Jason that she’d been invited to the local university to speak to Maria’s fellow nurse-practitioner students.
Things weren’t looking good, and, though contrary to his natural desire to see her as soon as possible, he decided to wait until Saturday evening at the postholiday-parade party at Jason’s house. He’d missed her all week, and wanted to iron out that wrinkle in their relationship, the unspoken knowledge about his dating history. He understood how it must look to a woman like Stephanie. He couldn’t make any guarantees, of course, but she seemed worth delving deeper into—dared he use the word?—a relationship. He scraped his jaw. It wasn’t just any girl he’d ask to help with the task he had planned.
This is nuts, Stephanie thought as she drove back to her hotel from the university. Maybe the move to Santa Barbara and starting to practice medicine again had been more stressful than she’d expected. Each night this week she’d been dead tired, and the springboard of emotions that
getting to know Phil had created couldn’t be denied. Maybe she was premenstrual? She rubbed her forehead and mentally did some math. It was December 9 and she was supposed to have started her period on December 2. She’d been like clockwork ever since she’d had her tubes tied. Today she felt a little foggy headed and maybe a little tender in her breasts. She’d probably get her period any day now.
But she was a week late, and hadn’t so much as spotted.
She shook her head as she pulled into her parking space at the hotel. It had to be stress.
California had a reputation for perfect weather, and on this Saturday in mid-December, while the rest of the country dealt with snowstorms and arctic cold snaps, the sky was clear and the temperature was in the high sixties. Rain was predicted for early tomorrow morning, but you couldn’t prove it by the sky overhead.
Stephanie shaded her eyes with her palm and enjoyed the sight of the setting sun over the glistening blue ocean, then took a deep breath of salty air as she walked down the docks to Jason’s berth.
An hour earlier she’d come off the phone from a conversation with Celeste Conroy, who continued to improve since the bleeding scare earlier in the week. The best part of all was being able to tell her they’d successfully removed the small cancerous area on her cervix, and the tissue margins were all clear. If all continued to go well, the cerclage would keep her from going into premature labor later on.
Stephanie decided to compartmentalize her professional and personal life. With her duties as a physician completed today, she removed the mental stethoscope and…oh, hell…prepared to be Santa’s helper. Nerves tangled in her stomach at the thought of confronting Phil after walking out on him the other night.
A memo had gone out at work, “Wear your most outrageous Christmas sweater,” and she’d made a quick run to the Paseo to find something to fit the theme, but was too embarrassed to put it on until she got there.
Jason’s yacht was decked out with the Midcoast Medical employees’ handy Christmas decorations, and from this vantage point the boat promised, when lit up later, to thrill the spectators.
She smiled, even as her stomach fought off another wave of nervous flitters. She hadn’t seen Phil all week except for fleeting moments coming and going at the clinic. She’d avoided his gaze once, and another time he made an abrupt turn and entered Jon’s office. She’d failed miserably as fling material.
Claire waved and greeted her from the deck. An adorable curly-headed child with huge blue eyes stood by her side, and another baby, getting pushed back and forth in a stroller, sat plump and contentedly swaddled in extra blankets.
“This is my daughter, Gina,” Claire said, then nodded toward the stroller. “And this is Jason Junior.”
Looking more petulant than shy, Gina hugged her mother’s thigh and buried her face rather than say hello. Claire smoothed the girl’s hair with her free hand.
Stephanie gave herself a quick pep talk about not letting the children make her nervous. They were Claire’s children, not hers, and from the look of it, Claire handled the job with aplomb. It was Christmas, a child’s favorite time of year, and there was no way Stephanie could avoid missing her son, but just for today she vowed to not let it get her down. Just for today she’d let Christmas joy rub off on her and she’d smile along with everyone else on this festive occasion. Then, on Christmas Day, she would withdraw into her shell with her constant companion of grief.
She boarded the boat, her sweater in the original shopping bag, and almost immediately lost her balance when someone grabbed her knees. She reached for the boat rail and glanced down in time to hear a familiar squeal of hello. “Robbie, what are you doing here?”
“I get to thit on Thanta’s knee,” he said, pride beaming from his eyes.
“Me, too!” Gina had found her voice and chose to use it to stake her rightful claim.
Robbie made his version of a mean face at Gina—the silly scrunched-up look almost made Stephanie laugh—and crossed his arms. “He my brother.”
“This was my bright idea,” Claire said, looking apologetic. “Maybe I should have thought this through a little more.”
Phil seemed to materialize from thin air. A sudden pop of adrenaline quickened her pulse. She’d pretend, for Claire’s sake, that everything was normal.
Phil hadn’t noticed her yet, but Jason and Gaby had obviously noticed him, and laughed. He’d gone for Surfer Dude Santa with belly pad beneath a reindeer-patterned Hawaiian shirt and red velvet pants with suspenders. And good sport that he was, he’d stuck an all-in-one Santa hair and beard combo on his head like a helmet. A huge grin made his eyes crinkle at the edges as he modeled his ridiculous outfit. His California version of Santa might raise brows, but it would fit right in with Santa Barbara and was the perfect touch for their Christmas-themed yacht.
He made a slow turn, hands out to allow Jason and Gaby to see the entire costume, including the surfboard-toting reindeer on the shirt. They blurted out a laugh. He’d been hoodwinked into the job and, instead of griping, he’d good-naturedly put his signature on it. The thought tugged at Stephanie’s heart, and a bizarre notion catapulted through her brain. She could fall in love with a guy like Phil…if she didn’t watch out.
Phil finally noticed her, and she saw a subtle change in his self-mocking. When their eyes met for a brief second, he nodded and her legs turned to water. She nodded back, unsure if she’d be able to talk coherently to him. Gina and Robbie, rushing to greet Santa, put a quick stop to her fears.
“Santa, Santa,” the children chanted.
Suddenly distracted, Phil hugged both of them. An irrational sense of hurt made her fear she’d blown everything by leaving on Sunday night.
“Claire, I tell you, Roma and Dad will do anything for a cheap babysitter and a night out.” He gave a good-hearted shrug, as if he was putting on a carefree performance for her sake. “It’s a good thing I’ve got two knees,” he said. “Ho, ho, ho.”
Though sounding more resigned and not even close to a real Santa impersonator’s laugh, he still delighted the kids. And Stephanie thought he might feel as much at a loss as she did about how to handle things between them.
“He’s coming to my house first,” Gina chided Robbie.
“Nah-uh,” Robbie was quick to reply, arms tightly folded over his chest. “Mine.”
“Go get dressed,” Gaby said from over Stephanie’s shoulder. She wore a gaudy red Christmas sweater that clashed with her magenta hair, and nudged Stephanie toward the stairs. “I want to take group pictures before it gets too crowded.”
Whisked away to change, Stephanie barely had a moment to think about anything but putting on the Christmas sweater complete with a string of flashing Christmas lights on the appliquéd quilted tree. Aside from her mixed-up feelings about Phil, it actually felt good walking among the living again.
When she went up on deck, Jason had already turned on the lights. Everything twinkled and shone and the sight took her breath away. They really had created a winter wonderland. A dozen colorful strings of lights had been extended from the tip of the mainsail, from where they fanned out and were attached to the deck in a Christmas tree shape. At the top was a huge white lighted star. The half-size internationally decorated trees blinked and blinged, and with the added touch of a Scotsman, a Russian, a cowboy, a Dane and a Filipino standing next to them, they painted an impressive picture. Several lighted wreaths were hung strategically along the boat railing, and pine garland loaded heavily with glittery balls and blinking lights outlined the rails.
To top things off, two huge flashing neon Merry Christmas signs adorned both the bow and the stern. The remaining clinic employees sat on deck, wearing knitted caps and mufflers, assorted loud holiday sweaters and singing Christmas carols. If they didn’t win first place in the Santa Barbara Chamber of Commerce Christmas lights parade, they should at least win the gaudiest-boat award!
Swept up with the holiday spirit, Stephanie couldn’t help but laugh to herself. She ha
dn’t felt this excited about celebrating Christmas in years, and it felt pretty darn great…until she came face-to-face with Santa.
He looked as uncomfortable as she felt. If only she could think of something witty to say. Something that would break this awkward trance they seemed stuck in.
“Nice sweater,” he said, with the hint of teasing in his eyes.
It was the perfect excuse to lighten things up between them, to call a truce, and she grabbed it. “I like your suspenders, too.”
They smiled cautiously at each other. His solid bedroom stare cut through her facade and flustered her. She focused on his white cloud of hair and beard for distraction, realizing she’d never think of Santa the same way again.
“Hey, let me get a picture,” Jon said, camera in place, ready for his shot.
“Me, too,” Gaby chimed in, at his side.
René stood smiling behind Jon, holding a bundle of baby wrapped in half a dozen blankets. “You may as well let them,” she said. “They’ll just keep pestering you until you pose.”
Phil took Stephanie by the arm, pulled her closer, and whispered, “Smile pretty for the camera.”
His unflappable charm disarmed her, all the apprehension she’d clung to vanishing. Maybe she was in over her head, but she couldn’t deny her attraction to him.
“Great,” Jon said. “Now let’s go for a group shot.”
Jason appeared, decked out in a captain’s cap with minilights that blinked on and off. Everyone else lined up around him.
Almost as if being transported back in time, the magic and mystery of Christmas overcame Stephanie. Her skin became covered with goose bumps and her eyes prickled. It felt too good. She didn’t deserve to feel this happy…during the holidays.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Phil said, clutching her arm and nudging her toward his appointed chair as if sensing her mood change. “We have work to do. How did I get talked into this again?” He stared into her eyes, where tears were threatening. “Oh, right—you!”
The Christmas Baby Bump Page 11
