The soft criticism broke him open and hot tears flooded over his cheeks, clogging his throat. He shook his head, denying their existence with the fruitless gesture. “Please don’t make me leave, sir. I can make it stop. I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Lawson drew him close, letting him quiet his sobs against his chest. “But not yet. Give yourself a minute. I promise you, no one’s going to make you leave. Everyone knows he’s going to need to see you when he comes to.” He brushed his hand over Jamie’s hair. “Doc won’t be pleased if he hurts himself trying to get to you. We don’t want that, now do we?”
A choked laugh broke through his muffled sob. “No, sir.”
Using his thumb to brushed away some of Jamie’s tears, Lawson looked down at him with a little smile. “Good boy. You did very well, getting everything your Dom needed. Noah would be proud of you—I know I am. But now, you’re going to take a deep breath and sit with us. Let him feel you there. Don’t be ashamed if you need time to compose yourself but stay close. Because this is where you belong.”
“Thank you, sir. That means a lot coming from you.” Green eyes regarded him from under a sweep of dark brows, and Jamie gave Lawson a small smile. “I never wanted to be anywhere else.”
Lawson inclined his head. “I know. But don’t think a few tears are going to have Doc kicking you out. Hysterics? Definitely. But he’s a good man. An amazing doctor. He’s seen the absolute worst reactions. What he expects during training is something else entirely and I think you’ll see that.” His hand moved up and down Jamie’s back. “If I thought otherwise, I wouldn’t have left you with him. But you got on better than expected.”
Reaching for a tissue from the back of the vanity, Jamie nodded as he wiped his eyes and blew his nose. “He’s direct and fair and doesn’t scramble up my brains. I get him in a weird way. Even if he’s not…” Lips kicking up in a self-conscious grin, Jamie tossed the tissue in the trash. “Easy.”
“Not in the least.” Lawson held his gaze for a moment, gave a subtle nod, then took a small step back. “But he spent more time training you than I’ve seen him bother with any other sub. So he definitely thinks you’re worth the effort. Keep that in mind. He’s quite capable of scaring you away if he’d wanted you gone.”
With Lawson’s broad-shouldered height blocking his view, Jamie couldn’t see the activity behind him. He heard what sounded like sterile packages ripping open, and Curtis’s deep murmur as he answered a direction Doc gave him to turn Noah’s arm. Then the sound of fabric as everyone moved.
Jamie looked up, then up some more, to take Lawson’s measure. He wasn’t sure the man liked him exactly, but he was a good man, and he’d take care of anyone in a vulnerable position to the best of his ability. “I think you’re all pretty capable of that, sir, but yes. I know what you mean. Thank you for helping me to pull myself together.”
“No need to thank me.” Lawson turned, bringing Jamie along with him. “You’re small, so you can fit between Noah and the bath. Hold his hand and pay close attention to Doc’s instructions. It’s going to be a long day.”
Stepping carefully around Doc, Jamie squeezed in the space between Noah and the tub. Sitting on the lip, he leaned down to take his Dom’s hand while Doc finished inserting an IV in Noah’s other arm. Lacing their fingers together, he smoothed his free hand over the back of Noah’s. Heat kicking off Noah’s body was nothing new, but this was a whole new level of inferno. Cracked lips parted, chest rising and falling in uneven jerks, he appeared to be in a fevered sleep.
When Doc turned to lay out a tray of sterile packages, Jamie bent forward to brush his lips over Noah’s brow, not caring that he had to get closer to Curtis than he ever had before. He whispered, “I love you, sir” then retreated to his place on the tub as Doc returned. Glancing up at Lawson, Jamie gave him a small smile, before looking to Reed. The other sub leaned against Curtis, who held him tight, one arm around his shoulders.
“We need to turn him and lay him out. The IV will keep his temperature down, but I need to get at his back and start cleaning him up.”
Nodding, Curtis eased Reed away from him, and Jamie motioned for Reed to join him as he let go of Noah’s hand.
Bottom lip between his teeth, Reed met Jamie’s eyes with a shaky smile, then squeezed Curtis’s arm. “Sir, I’m going to get more ice. Just...just in case.”
Curtis stood, a different kind of concern shading his brown eyes. “Come on, then. Let me help you.”
“No, Lawson can’t move Noah. Doc needs you. I can do this. It’ll...be better if I can be doing something.” Reed blinked fast. “I’m sorry, I just can’t...I have to be doing something.”
Cupping Reed’s cheeks, Curtis kissed his forehead and nodded, stepping back. “Let me know if you need me.”
After he rose, Reed inhaled slowly. His gaze went from Curtis to Lawson, who nudged his chin in a subtle way as though to reinforce Curtis’s words, along with something more. Only when Lawson’s focus shifted to the other Dom did Reed finally slip away.
Watching him go, Jamie stood out of the way as Doc and Curtis rolled Noah, using the quilt to shift him gently to his stomach. A soft gasp escaping him, Jamie took a halting step back. The damage to Noah’s back told him exactly how the other puckered scars had been created. Livid red lash marks crisscrossed every inch of his back, thighs, and ass, some breaking the skin and laying it open in fleshy strips.
Fisting his hands, Jamie jerked up his chin to stare at the ceiling, forcing measured breaths in and out through parted lips. How and why anyone could do this to another human being, especially their own nephew, was unfathomable. Hot anger licked around his shoulders, tightening the muscles as he returned to the edge of the tub to take Noah’s hand.
Doc, disinfecting the lacerations, gave Jamie a considering look before nodding minutely and going back to his task. They were going to be here a long time, because no way could stitching up so much skin be a quick process.
Adjusting the tubing to Noah’s IV so it snaked out of the way, up to the bag of fluids and antibiotics Doc had hung on the back of the door, Curtis sat cross-legged on the floor. He watched Doc’s progress, adjusting to stay out of the way as he began stroking Noah’s hair away from his temple with light touches.
Jamie swallowed. It was so easy to picture these three men together when he watched them come together here, now. He couldn’t help wondering what it had been like to see them laughing together, enjoying a friendlier version of the match between Lawson and Noah. Or even the darkly sensual games they might have gotten up to after.
Rubbing his free hand on his pants, he looked up at Lawson while Doc began the first of many sutures, his nimble fingers using the needle to pierce the skin on either side of the angry gashes, piecing Noah back together. Lyrics and rough notes played on an acoustic guitar rolled through his head. Tucking them away for later, when he could pour them along with his feelings into a song, he returned to cataloguing Doc’s progress.
“First time I met the boy, I stitched him up. Almost every time after for a long time. A long, long time.” Doc mused, looping the clear thread over and over.
Hearing Noah referred to as a ‘boy’ made him wrinkle his nose. “How young was he, sir?”
The question brought an amused lift to Doc’s lips, but he didn’t look up. “He was my sub, Jamie. I was his first—and only—Dom as far as I know.”
“Oh.” The knowledge made him look at the two men, side-by-side, a little differently as he adjusted his understanding. Noah didn’t exactly seem to submit to Doc now as give his opinions and presence a bit of...he didn’t know the word.
Curtis’s gaze lingered on Doc. “So in a way you’ve trained everyone in this room.”
Doc snorted. “Some better than others.”
That got Lawson’s lips slanting. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’d much prefer your style of training over…” He sighed, expression turning grim. “Whatever this was.”
“In a way, it’s go
od, old fashioned brainwashing. Forcible breaking of the mind and rebuilding it in a way that suits another purpose.” Lip curling, Doc snipped the thread, rubbed something over the finished suture, and started another. “It’s not training. It’s a patch job to fix a botch job.” He gave Lawson a hard stare. “But that’s my opinion and not one you’ll repeat outside this room.”
Jaw tightening, Lawson inclined his head. “There’s no reason to. But we need to find a way to avoid...needing to make that kind of call in the future.”
“Was it prison? Or was it us?” Curtis sighed, looking up at Lawson. “Did we do this to him? You and me? Or was it—” His gaze slipped sideways to Jamie. “A trigger?”
“You mean me.” Jamie pointed to the elephant in the room, giving it a name.
Curtis’s lips thinned with his nod. “But you couldn’t have known… And now you do.”
Fingers gripping Noah’s palm, Jamie lowered his gaze to study where they joined. Yes. Now he did. Except lying to Noah, hiding anything from him, would never be possible. He could’ve done a better job. Maybe gone to Curtis first. Or Lawson. No...definitely Curtis, because he wasn’t sure Lawson knew the story, even now.
“I don’t think anyone is sorrier than I am...except Noah.” Tucking up his legs, Jamie rested his chin on his knees.
“This had been building up for a while. I don’t think there’s any one event or person to blame.” Lawson brushed his fingers over his lips, standing close behind Curtis, absently rubbing his shoulder. “But with the shift between how he was before and now? Prison must have...undone whatever it was Rhodey ‘fixed’.”
Doc rolled his head side to side, obviously working out the ache that must have built in his shoulders from being bent at an awkward angle for so long. “Noah is used to running the show, protecting the people around him, not the other way around. He’s never been good at being...challenged, under the best of circumstances.”
Lawson blew out a breath, gaze lowering. “Rhodey implied as much when I called him. That I’d made myself into a threat.”
“Because you were looking out for me. And I let you take a challenge when it was me he was after.” Curtis shook his head. “Don’t look at me like that. We’re all to blame.” He tilted his head at Noah. “The four of us.”
Uncurling himself, Jamie stood, going to a spot just behind Doc. “Sir, if it pleases you, may I massage your shoulders?”
Rolling his shoulders, Doc seemed to test the idea before answering. “Thank you, Jamie, but I need a steady hand. If you wouldn’t mind getting me some water and pain reliever, that would be good.”
The request, not an order, made him blink. “Of course, sir.”
He slipped out of the bathroom, going to the kitchen, where Wren sat, drinking coffee and reading a book. “Hey. Noah’s home.”
A little paler than usual, Wren shot Jamie a little lip curve that wasn’t quite a smile. He placed his book facedown on the table. “I heard everyone talking and saw Reed leave. It’s...bad, isn’t it.”
“Wren—” He tried to answer but being with someone he knew he didn’t have to be strong around unraveled him and his voice faltered.
Pushing to his feet, Wren came to him, hugging him tight. His voice was little more than a whisper, “He can’t die. Doc...he didn’t say he was going to die, did he?”
His tears soaked Wren’s shirt and his shoulders shook, but he didn’t make a sound. It couldn’t be that bad, or they’d have taken Noah to a hospital, no matter what. Lawson and Curtis, so grim faced, shook his confidence in the notion.
Lifting his head, he tipped it back to stare at the ceiling. “I can’t tell, Wren. He’s probably going to be okay? Everyone is just so…” He shrugged, at a loss. “Doc needs pain relievers. And water. He’s stitching up Noah’s back. It’s pretty gruesome.”
“Doesn’t sound like the kind of gruesome that would be fun to see.” Wren squeezed Jamie’s shoulder, then went to the cupboard over the stove, taking out the small bottle of pills. He glanced back at Jamie. “Do you want me to bring them?”
Casting a glance at the open bedroom door, Jamie nodded. “Come with me? Be with us? Unless you don’t want to...”
Wren blinked at him, as though shocked to be included in anything beyond the work schedule. He pressed his tongue to his bottom lip and nodded. “I’d like that...I mean, if it won’t be too crowded.”
“You can sit next to me on the side of the tub. There’s room. Reed was there before he needed a break. He’s coming back with lunch.” Glancing at the clock, he noted the time. After noon. Hours had flown by without him knowing it. “Come on. Let’s get that to Doc.”
After handing Jamie the bottle of pills, Wren grabbed a glass, filling it with cold water from the fridge. He walked with Jamie to the bathroom, hovering by the doorway as Jamie opened the pill bottle and tapped two into his palm for Doc. Tilting his head toward the tub, Jamie motioned Wren inside and shut the door.
“Sir?” He held out the pills to Doc, who looked up and took them from him, his gaze warming when it alighted on Wren.
“Thank you, boy.” Taking the water from Wren, Doc swallowed down the pain reliever before handing the glass back to him. “Sit quietly now. It’ll be about another hour, and I’ve backed off on the morphine so we can see how he’s doing.”
Wren set the glass on the counter beside the sink, then joined Jamie on the edge of the tub. His gaze went over Noah’s wounds, and he looked a little sad to see Noah hurt, but not like the whip marks themselves bothered him. Jamie tried to see Noah the way Wren seemed to, except he couldn’t stop thinking about everything Lawson, Curtis, and Doc had said. It was hard not to feel like whoever slumbered behind Noah’s closed lids might be someone he didn’t know at all.
Leaning over, he traced light fingertips down Noah’s arm. Unlike many of the Doms at The Asylum, he didn’t sport any ink. No markings other than the ones Rhodey had put on his skin. He met Curtis’s gaze, feeling the man’s eyes on him.
“What are you thinking about?” Curtis’s unexpected question made Jamie’s fingers still.
Licking his lips, he cleared his throat. “I was thinking about how Noah doesn’t have any tats. And...about his scars...and yours.”
Curtis blinked, sitting back. “They’re mostly from fights.”
“The one on Noah’s hand is from prison. I thought they stabbed him when they were…” Wren inhaled sharply. His gaze trailed over the stitches. “The doctor there didn’t make stitches this neat. Noah was irritated that he couldn’t fight with that hand, but he didn’t really need both.”
Doc shifted his attention, taking in Wren. “We’re all grateful he had you, Wren, and that he sent you to us.”
Ducking his head, Wren’s cheeks flushed. “Thank you, sir. I...really like it here. And the floor’s probably better than the gurneys in the medical ward. So he’s more comfortable and he won’t wake up ready to kill anyone.”
Curtis barked a laugh at that, giving Lawson a teasing look. “He’s not the one you have to worry about waking up too suddenly.”
“There’s no reason to wake up suddenly if you stick to a good routine.” Lawson’s expression was tender as he looked down at Curtis, still rubbing his shoulder. “And give yourself plenty of time for the essentials.”
A knowing lift to Curtis’s lips said he’d been one of those essentials a time or two, and Jamie found himself grinning at the flirty moment between the two Doms.
“I never knew Doms could like each other that way.” The observation escaped his lips before he could stop himself.
“Only the lucky ones.” Lawson winked at him, chuckling softly as Wren exchanged a look with Jamie, brow slightly furrowed. “You are aware we’re still human, yes?”
Jamie wrinkled his nose, shaking his head, then grinned. “Nah. Not possible.”
Settling back, Doc surveyed his work, snapping off his surgical gloves before running the back of his hand over his forehead. “Let’s get him to the bed. Jamie and Wren
, pull down the covers. Lawson, you carry the IV. I’ll put in his catheter in there. He’s not to move from the bed until I say... Not that he’ll likely want to.”
Scrambling to his feet, Wren beside him, Jamie’s heart renewed a trip-trap rhythm, nerves dancing over his skin. In the bedroom, he yanked down the covers on one side while Wren took care of the other. Clean sheets were already on the bed, untouched for the last two weeks. He fluffed the pillows just the way Noah liked them before standing back to let Doc and Curtis bring Noah to the bed.
Still pale, but not gray, Noah hung limply, limbs swaying as Curtis held him under his arms. Bearing Noah’s legs, shirt soaked with sweat, Doc followed with Lawson who brought the IV bag with him and hung it on one of the iron hooks at the back of the bedpost.
“Well, I can safely say he hasn’t lost much bulk.” Doc grunted, shifting Noah’s weight.
Casting Jamie an assessing look as he positioned Noah against the pillows, Curtis huffed. “I don’t know how he doesn’t break you in two.”
Jamie blushed hard.
“Talent.” Wren spoke quietly, almost as though he didn’t think anyone was listening. Then bit his bottom lip, cheeks going red. “Umm...sorry, sir. I’ll be quiet now.”
Adjusting the IV line, Doc shook his head. “There’s no one here you can’t talk to, boy. And you’re right.” He reached over to ruffle Wren’s hair, winking. “Sheer fucking talent.” Nodding to Lawson, he left the room, calling, “I’m going to shower. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”
From the bed came a rough sound, before Noah turned his head. He blinked a few times, then began to push up. “Jamie? Where is he? I need to find him.”
Moving quickly and quietly, Jamie placed a hand on Noah’s chest, over his heart. “Here, sir. I’m right here.”
Gray eyes a little glazed, Noah stared at him and stopped trying to get up. “You’re okay. I hoped you would be okay. I’m sorry I...I had to go.”
He wanted to tell Noah so many things. That he would always be okay as long as Noah breathed somewhere in the world. How much he’d needed him to return. That he’d spent hours and days making sure he could come home to a boy who was deserving of him. How angry he was that Rhodey had hurt him.
Hard Justice: The Asylum Fight Club Book 3 Page 28
