by Isobel Bird
Kate knew that Tyler was referring to the fact that she had once used a spell to get a guy to fall for her. That incident had caused her a lot of trouble and pain, but it had also been the reason for her getting involved both with the Wicca study group and with Tyler. Still, Tyler was right. She should have known that he would never do anything to try to manipulate her.
“I guess I kind of owe you an apology,” said Kate sheepishly.
Tyler took a bite of his cheesecake. “Apology accepted,” he said.
“It’s just that I was having doubts about joining the coven,” Kate explained. “Something was holding me back. I thought about it and thought about it, and—”
Again, Tyler interrupted her. “And you couldn’t possibly accept that I suggested you join because you’re good at ritual and magic,” he said.
“Well, yeah,” said Kate. “I guess.”
“Some things about you haven’t changed at all, Kate,” Tyler said. “You’re still doubting yourself.”
Kate ignored him, taking a bite of her muffin. The chocolate chips were warm and soft, and the taste spread through her mouth, mingling with the coffee. “I know I’ll be a good witch,” she said matter-of-factly.
“I know you will be, too,” Tyler said. “So stop thinking that everything I do is to try to get back together, okay?”
Kate nodded. “I’ll try,” she said.
“Good,” Tyler said. “Now, let me ask you a question. Do you want to go to a movie this weekend?”
“I guess—” Kate began, then stopped. She shut her eyes. I can’t believe I said that, she thought, wanting to die of embarrassment. When she opened her eyes, Tyler was looking at her, a self-satisfied smirk on his face.
“That was a trick question,” Kate said, trying to keep her voice calm. “And anyway, I can’t go to a movie this weekend. Annie’s aunt is getting married, and we’re all helping out.”
“Fine,” Tyler said. “There’s always the weekend after. The point is, you want to go.”
“Just because I said I would go to a movie with you does not mean I have any intention of getting back together with you, Tyler Decklin,” Kate said.
“You used my whole name,” Tyler said, taking another bite of cheesecake. He pointed his fork at Kate. “You like me.”
“Like a rash,” said Kate, chomping on a bite of her muffin. What was going on? Had she really just admitted to Tyler that she might actually consider going out with him again? That’s nuts, she told herself. You’ve told him over and over that it’s over. She laughed silently at her repeated use of the word over. But it is over, she insisted.
“If you didn’t at least have some interest in maybe, possibly, perhaps getting back together with me, you wouldn’t have answered so quickly,” Tyler teased her. “That was your subconscious talking. You said the first thing you thought of—which is also usually the thing you secretly want to do,” he added.
“Excuse me,” Kate said. “Which one of us used that trick first? If I recall, it was me.”
“I only steal from the best,” replied Tyler.
There was a long pause during which the two of them ate their desserts and sipped their drinks. Then Tyler pushed his plate away. “Seriously,” he said. “Would you at least think about going out on a date with me?”
Kate slowly chewed the last bite of her muffin. She knew that when she was done with it she would have no excuse not to answer Tyler, so as she ground the chocolate chips into the finest paste possible she held a debate with herself.
You told him it was totally over, she thought.
It is over.
Then why are you even playing around with him on this? You’re letting him think that maybe there’s a possibility that the two of you might get together again.
It’s just a movie.
Just a movie becomes just dinner, and then just a concert, and then he’s just your boyfriend again.
But he’s being so nice. Maybe I was too hard on him.
You’re just feeling that way because he asked you to be in the coven.
So? Maybe that’s what it took for me to realize I made a mistake.
No, now you’re making the mistake. You were right when you dumped him.
Kate listened to the two halves of her brain fighting it out. She wasn’t sure which one she was rooting for. The intellectual part of her knew that refusing to get back together with Tyler was the right thing. But the part of her that still remembered how much she’d loved looking into his golden eyes and seeing them looking back was starting to give in.
“One movie,” she said. “We each pay for ourselves. And no hand holding or attempted hand holding.”
“I can accept those terms,” Tyler said after careful consideration.
“I’m sure this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever agreed to,” Kate said as she took out her wallet and counted some bills to pay for her coffee and muffin.
Tyler paid his half and the two of them got up to go. As they left The Last Drop, Kate was surprised to see Annie and Cooper walking toward them. Her first instinct was to duck back inside. For some reason, she didn’t want her friends to see her with Tyler. But Annie spied them and waved.
“Hey,” she said as she and Cooper reached the shop. “I called you a while ago to see if you wanted to come out with us, but you weren’t home. Now I know why.” She glanced at Tyler. “Hi, Tyler,” she said a little hesitantly.
Tyler nodded at Annie and waved a hand at Cooper.
“What has you two out tonight?” Cooper asked.
Kate looked at Tyler. “We just got together to talk about some stuff,” Kate said, knowing it was a lame explanation.
“About class,” Tyler added quickly.
“Class?” Annie said, sounding as if she didn’t believe it.
“Yeah,” Tyler said, sounding, Kate thought, way too cheerful. “About initiation. Covens.”
Kate cringed. She didn’t want to hurt Cooper’s feelings by talking about initiation. But Tyler, who didn’t know how awful Cooper felt about being excluded from the upcoming ritual, had said exactly the wrong thing without meaning to.
Sensing the silence, Tyler tried to fill it. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I’ve convinced Kate to join the Coven of the Green Wood.”
Annie looked at Kate. Her face wore an expression of confusion and hurt combined. “You didn’t tell me you’d decided,” she said.
Kate looked at Annie’s wounded expression, then at Cooper, who was suddenly preoccupied with looking at her fingernails. She also shot Tyler a glance, but she knew that he couldn’t help her. She was on her own.
“I just kind of decided tonight,” she said.
“Oh,” Annie replied, looking from Tyler to Kate and back again. “Okay.”
“You know what,” said Tyler, looking at his watch. “I told my mom I would be back fifteen minutes ago. I should leave.”
“Bye,” Kate said stiffly. She didn’t want her friends to think that her meeting with Tyler had been anything else but class-related.
Tyler said good-night to Annie and Cooper and walked quickly away. Kate stood there, looking at her friends.
“Actually, it’s interesting that we ran into you,” Annie said. “Cooper wants to talk to us about initiation.”
“Really?” Kate said, genuinely surprised.
Cooper shrugged. “I just had an idea is all,” she said. “But if you’ve already made up your mind, it doesn’t matter.”
“No,” Kate said. “I’d like to hear what you’re thinking.”
Cooper nodded toward The Last Drop. “We were going to go in here,” she said.
Kate nodded. “That’s fine,” she said. “I didn’t really have anything. Just coffee.”
They turned and walked into the shop. Seeing Kate again, the waiter gave her a puzzled look but didn’t say anything. As he walked the three of them to the same table she and Tyler had just vacated, Kate wondered what her friends wanted to talk to her about. Maybe agreeing to go out with Tyl
er wasn’t the stupidest thing you’ve done tonight, she thought uneasily.
CHAPTER 13
The three friends sat around the table, not saying anything as they looked at the menus. Finally, Cooper put hers down. “I don’t know what either of you have decided about initiation and which covens you’re thinking of joining,” she said, looking particularly hard at Kate. “But I have something to say about it.”
Annie and Kate exchanged glances. They put their menus down and waited for Cooper to continue.
“I still don’t understand exactly why I wasn’t offered initiation,” Cooper said. “But it doesn’t really matter. The point is, I wasn’t. So as I see it, I have three choices. One—I can stop practicing Wicca altogether. Two—I can look for another coven that will have me.” She paused.
“What’s number three?” Annie asked her.
Cooper took a breath. “Three—I can start my own coven.”
Kate and Annie regarded her with surprise. “Start your own coven?” Kate said. “Can you do that?”
Cooper nodded. “There’s no reason you can’t,” she said. “People who live in areas where there are no other Wiccan groups do it all the time. It’s not like you have to buy a franchise or something.”
“You’re really thinking of starting your own coven?” said Annie.
“Yeah, I am,” Cooper answered. “I think I’m ready to be a witch. I know I’m ready. Just because Sophia and the other teachers seem to disagree with me is no reason not to do it. It’s just their opinion. They aren’t the Supreme Court of witchdom or anything; they’re just people.”
“But they have a lot of experience,” Kate said.
Cooper gave her a hard look. “Meaning they must be right about me, is that it?” she asked.
Kate shook her head. “I didn’t say that,” she said carefully. “I’m just saying that maybe they know a little more than we do. If you start your own coven, you’d be on your own.”
“It’s not like I don’t know how to do a circle, or work magic,” countered Cooper. “I’ve been doing it all just fine for a year now.”
“But you need more than one person to have a coven,” Annie said. “Where would you find other witches?”
Cooper looked at Annie and then at Kate. At first her friends just stared back, not understanding. Then Annie realized what Cooper was implying.
“You want us to be in this coven,” she said. “Is that it?”
“Why not?” said Cooper, leaning forward and talking excitedly. “We’ve already been working together for a year. We’re practically a coven anyway. This would just be making it official.”
“But none of us are initiated witches,” said Kate.
“Why is that such a big deal?” Cooper retorted. “Don’t you think we’ve accomplished some great stuff already? Do you think having someone initiate you is going to make you a better witch?”
Kate looked down. “No,” she said. “It wouldn’t make me a better witch. It’s just that—” She hesitated, looking like she didn’t know what to say.
“Just what?” Cooper demanded.
“I think what Kate is trying to say is that while we know initiation won’t make us any better, it is what we’ve all been working toward this past year,” said Annie.
“Is it?” asked Cooper. “Is it really just all about initiation?”
Annie and Kate looked at her curiously.
“See, that’s how I was looking at it, too,” Cooper said. Now that she had their attention, she was ready to hit them with what she thought was her most powerful argument. “All year I’ve been focused on initiation. It was like this big goal for me. But then when it was taken away from me, I started to think about things differently. This year hasn’t been about initiation; it’s been about learning. And being initiated into a coven doesn’t really mean we’ve learned anything. Sophia. Archer. None of them can see inside of us to know how we’ve changed. They don’t know everything we’ve been through. Only we do. The three of us went through all of this together, and I think we should stay together.”
Cooper opened the backpack she’d carried with her and took out the book she’d been reading. “Jane gave this to me,” she said, putting the book on the table. “She thought maybe I would be interested in reading about being a solitary. But the more I read the book, the more I thought about how maybe we could form our own coven. If one person can self-initiate, there’s no reason a group of people can’t.”
Kate and Annie looked at the book. Kate picked it up and leafed through it. “It just never occurred to me that we might be able to create our own coven,” she said.
“It hadn’t occurred to me, either,” Cooper told her. “But the book gave me the idea. And then I started to think about my grandmother, and about how she practiced magic without ever having a coven.”
“Are you sure she didn’t?” Kate asked, handing the book to Annie.
“I talked to my mother about it,” Cooper said.
Again her friends looked surprised. “I thought she wouldn’t discuss that,” said Annie.
“She wasn’t crazy about it,” Cooper said. “But I got a little more out of her. She said that as far as she knows, my grandmother never did anything with a group.”
“So she was a solitary,” Kate said. “There are lots of solitaries.”
“The point is, my grandmother didn’t need someone to put a stamp of approval on her magic, and neither do we,” Cooper said. “We could start our own coven and keep on working together the way we have been. Nothing would be any different.”
At that moment the waiter arrived to take their orders. There was a pause in the conversation as each of them ordered. Then, when the waiter left, Cooper looked at her friends. “So, what do you think?”
Annie was the first to respond. “I agree with you that you don’t need someone to tell you what you are when it comes to spirituality,” she said. “I think that if you choose to accept a set of beliefs, and if you’re dedicated to following those beliefs, then you’re whatever you say you are. I don’t think going through an initiation ceremony will make me a real witch. I think I already am one because I follow Wiccan principles and I want to spend my life walking the Wiccan path.” She paused. “But I do think the ritual is important to me personally. To me it symbolizes completing the first part of my journey.”
“And what about joining a coven?” Cooper asked her.
Annie shrugged. “That part I’m less sure about,” she said. “To tell the truth, none of the covens we’ve heard about have seemed absolutely perfect for me. Not that there’s anything wrong with them or anything. It’s just that none of them have stood out as being completely right for me.”
“So you’d be open to forming our own coven?” Cooper pressed.
“I’d have to think about that,” Annie said.
Cooper moved on to Kate. “What about you?” she asked. “Was Tyler telling the truth? Have you already decided to join their coven?”
“You make it sound like a crime,” Kate remarked.
“No,” Cooper said. “I’m just asking. He made it sound like a done deal.”
“Well, I do think the Coven of the Green Wood is a great coven,” Kate said.
“And what about Tyler being in it?” Annie asked her.
“I don’t think that’s a problem,” said Kate.
“Are you two getting back together?” Cooper asked.
Kate didn’t answer right away, and her hesitation caused Cooper and Annie to look at each other in suspicion.
“Something’s up,” Annie remarked to Cooper.
“I just said I’d go to a movie with him,” objected Kate. “Stop trying to make me feel guilty.”
“No one is trying to make you feel guilty,” Cooper told her. “We’re just asking.”
“I like the Coven of the Green Wood because of its emphasis on teaching,” Kate said defensively. “Annie, I told you that last week.”
“She did,” Annie confirmed, looking at Coope
r and nodding.
“Okay,” Cooper said. “So I guess you’ve made up your mind.”
“You make it sound like I’m a bad person for wanting to be part of an established coven,” Kate said. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t want to be in a coven with the two of you.”
Cooper grinned. “So you would be interested in starting our own?”
“I didn’t say that either,” Kate replied. “I said I would like to be in a coven with both of you—if there was a coven we could all join.”
“But they’re not letting me into a coven!” Cooper said. “That’s the whole point. We can’t be in the same coven if I’m not even allowed to join one. That’s why I think we should start our own. That way we can all be together.”
Kate didn’t say anything in response, so Cooper looked at Annie. “You think starting our own coven is a good idea, right?” she said. “I mean, you said it didn’t matter if other people told us we were witches or not.”
“That’s true,” replied Annie. “I don’t think it matters. But I also said that initiation was important to me.”
“Meaning you’re siding with Kate,” Cooper said. “I get it.”
“I’m not siding with anyone,” Annie told her. “I’m saying that I think it’s important for me personally to go through with the initiation process.”
“Which still leaves me out in the cold,” Cooper said, sounding angry. “Look, I’m sorry I brought this up. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
The waiter arrived with their drinks, giving them all time to think before resuming the conversation.
“I understand that you’re frustrated,” said Annie. “I would be, too. And I really do think that there’s no reason you or anybody else can’t call herself a witch if she feels she is one. But I also don’t want to give up this initiation experience. Maybe that’s selfish of me, but it’s how I feel.”
Cooper nodded. She really did understand what Annie was saying. At the same time, part of her desperately wanted her friends to declare their loyalty to her by agreeing to start their own coven.
“I feel like anything I say is going to be wrong,” Kate said after a moment. “Cooper, I would love to be in a coven with you. But I can’t say that I don’t also really want to be in the Coven of the Green Wood.”
